You Have No Right To Marry This Person
January 3, 2010 
17 Comments
There are people who think they have the right to marry someone just for money. I am in total disagreement with that.
You’re a woman. You are 23 years old and you’re pretty. There are some of you (and I’ve met more than a few of you) who think that just because you’re young and pretty, that it’s your right to marry someone with money, kick back, spit out a few kids, spend all his money and live the life of luxury doing absolutely nothing.
I know some of you are going to get your panties in a knot when I say this, thinking “I’m the mother. I’m taking care of the kids.” The truth is, though, that is this guy was poor you wouldn’t have married him.
I don’t care if a woman wants to be a stay-at-home mom. If she marries out of love and has kids out of love, then that’s wonderful.
The women who marry men just because they have money, however, I find absolutely disgraceful. There is no right to someone else’s money.
A man works his whole life for his money, and you decide you are just going to ‘marry into it?’ You decide it’s just going to all be yours?
By the way, this is not just a “woman thing” either. In this day and age, it is also very much a “guy thing” too. There are plenty of men who marry women just for their money, and it is equally as disgusting when it’s a man doing it as when a woman does it.
No matter what gender you are, you have no right to do this. A lot of these people think they deserve the money and the life of luxury that goes with it.
If you don’t work hard, then you don’t really deserve a life of luxury. I’m sorry, but you really don’t.
You do not deserve a life of luxury just because you have sex with someone or because you can look good on someone’s arm. Those things don’t entitle you to that life of luxury.
I think that there are a lot of people, especially in this country, who feel it is their birthright to marry for money. The truth is, though, that it is a very lonely life.
I know people who have married for money — both here in Los Angeles and back in New York — and none of them were really attracted to their husband. None of them really ever wanted to have sex with their husbands.
Money, however, was the driving factor behind their marriages. Eventually every one of them ended up getting divorced and, once they were financially set up from the divorce, trying to find real love with other people. The problem is that you really can’t find love when you are like that, because you are really just a very one-dimensional superficial person.
So I don’t think someone who just marries for money deserves a life of luxury. Technically, you are just like a hooker.
Great blog David! I actually read a woman’s facebook profile one time which said something like “God didn’t put me on this earth to have to work to make money. He put me on this earth for men to give me money so I don’t have to work.”
Well if that doesn’t say it all…
Having said that – any guy who reads that woman’s profile and is dumb enough to go out with her — let alone marry her — deserves what he gets!
This is true, for this article I recomend the movie “what happends in vegas” with aston “martin” Kutcher and Cam.Diaz.
They are usually marrying the men who flash their money, give expensive gifts, and show off their wealth. They want an accessory. They deserve each other.
Yeah, I’m with Jen on this. Assholes have soulmates, too.
What’s that expression? When you marry for money, you end up earning every penny.
“My cousin married a man for totally, totally the wrong reason. She married a man for money, and she wasn’t very subtle about it either. Instead of her fiance’ she kept calling him her financee” – Rita Rudner
Thats why I have more respect for women that actually work,its ridiculous how many women say the exact thing everytime
“I wanna be with somebody who wants to take care of me”
instead of depending on someone else to take care of you,how about you go out and get a job,stop relying on other individuals
Joey, but also know that a woman who’s working doesn’t mean she’ll make a great wife. it’s all about the balance. I found that when a girl loves you, no matter whatever you have, she will love you. especially if you’re in the lower income.
I agree with you David. But don’t you think the men are using the women just as much? If a 45 yr old rich guy marries a 23 yr old hes probably just in it for the sex. Do you think he is really connecting emotionally with someone half his age? So in a sense both people are using each other. The question becomes, which is worse, using someone for money or using them for sex?
Like Jeff says, I think many of these marriages are out of mutual convenience.
As long as both parties understand what they are getting into, I see no reason to judge them.
If a guy naively falls for a Paris Hilton and is taken to the cleaners, of course I feel for him. That said, I hope he watches his back more closely the next time.
Personally, I have had a few experiences with women, where in hindsight I can see alterior motives. I have learned from these and how to better conduct myself in the future.
I think the real question is: Why do some men (and women) lack the initiative to cultivate a meaningful relationship?
What if I secretly hope that the love of my life will make enough money so that I we can afford for me to stay home and pursue a writing careeer full-time. Am I a gold-digger? Oh, I also want to have enough money someday so that I can afford to get acrylic nails on a regular basis.
Women marrying for security and power is as old as life is. And we all have the right to choose what we want so I disagree with the blog. Physical beauty DOES give a woman options not available to all women.
I suggest that beautiful women keep something in mind that I believe:
Money brings comfort. But money does not bring happiness.
I like that last line Paul. Well said.
Money does bring a physically comfortable life, or can. But as you said, it does not bring happiness. A lot of very wealthy people are miserable, whether they hide it or not.
Your blog is on the top of my list! I know this story very well. So today I look at the positive and turn off any relationship that relies on money. I’m still rebuilding but like my daughter tells me “It’s Life”
I agree with Greg that as long as both parties understand what they are getting into, I see no reason to judge them. But I do feel sorry for them because they lead unhappy and unfulfilled lives.
I knew a 22-year old girl who was with a 50+ year old man. He was balding and fat, but had a huge bank account. She was depressed and dying to have sex with a few hot studs her age (and probably did.) I asked her why she didn’t work, and she said, “Because I’m lazy.” At least she was honest.
It was actually really funny because she couldn’t understand why I chose to work instead of just using my looks to find someone to take care of me, and I couldn’t understand why she chose to forgo her freedom and happiness.
I think a lot of women (and men) who marry for money are plainly lazy. They also must have a low self-esteem because higher self-esteem comes from being successful in achieving self-reliance and knowing that you can survive on your own.
Jeff,
It’s true that men use women for sex… but in the end, who truly uses who?
Most of the time, is it easier for the men to ask for sex before giving out their money… or is it easier for women to ask for money before giving out sex?
In either case, the relationship is founded on shaky foundations b/c it becomes a constant power struggle with sex as leverage on one hand and money on the other.
Healthy relationships shouldn’t be built on power plays.
Dave, I got to agree with the last line you wrote. People who marry for money are pretty much live-in hookers. They are also destined to live unhappy lives.
I think a good number of women marry not just guys with a fat bank account or stock portfolio, but guys with good jobs, steady paychecks and enough mental/emotional stability to keep the financial stability going. These gals don’t fall in love with the guy for who he is as a person, but fall in in love with the guy for his breadwinner value, as the ultimate purpose of this woman is to establish, build and support a family. That is the end goal…house, kids, family. The husband comes in dead last. You know what happens? As time goes on in the marriage, the woman isn’t into sex or even affection from her hubby anymore.
When you are driving on the highway and you see a minivan or SUV with one of those family stick figure decals in the rear window, chances are you will see a guy driving that vehicle, a guy in a sexless, loveless marriage. That decal is the badge of honor for women who want the family and the secuity of marriage before wanting the man who makes that all possible.
For every woman who will settle for nothing less than shopping sprees on Rodeo Drive, there are 3 or 4 gals who will be happy to settle for packing that minivan on guiltless shopping sprees on the hubby’s credit card at Wal-Mart or Target.