Comments on: You Can’t Control Your Environment, You Can Only Control Your Reaction To It

By: Cam

Cam — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:32:05 +0000

Hey, I think you’re correct to a degree. Our perception is important. But it is also important to note that our environment is a big factor in other respects. If we live in a messy home and things are breaking, then we become stressed. You need to gain control over your environment as well and to blame someone for reacting negatively to something offensive is not the best way to go about solving a problem.

We have a lot more control over where we are than how we react to things, especially when it’s unexpected. To change our entire way of thinking about things takes a long time. Whereas moving to a positive environment is much easier and very effective.

Cam.

By: Jeff G

Jeff G — Sat, 01 May 2010 13:20:03 +0000

Absolutely, I have done this and it is fantastic, it just give’s me more time to flirt and build up HER anticipation, take advantage of these time’s and it really will come back to you tenfold.

By: Luis

Luis — Sat, 01 May 2010 10:19:30 +0000

People wouldn’t have this problem if they do things with an open mind and with out expectations.

By: Collin

Collin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 20:05:24 +0000

Farley,
Thanks. If she’s going to act that immature/full of herself, I really don’t want to get to know her. I’m not going to beat myself up about it.

By: Farley

Farley — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:39:36 +0000

Collin,

What the girl did was not right. Why didn’t she just drop the hint subtly or direct to you, instead of letting you know via your friend.
Not cool.

She perceived it as you liking her, whereas you just wanted to get to know her. A friend once told me that there is no thing as reality, only perception.

Pitty though, that some people have to act that way. Oh well, their loss, they are the ones who end up shooting themselves in the foot.

By: Collin

Collin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:05:20 +0000

Thanks for this message. I met a friend of a friend recently and had been talking to her back and forth on Facebook. I thought she was an interesting girl and just wanted to get to know her. I wasn’t trying to pursue a relationship with her at all, but a yesterday my friend told me that she thought I liked her and that I needed to stop writing her back because she didn’t like it and had been trying to respond in ways that implied that I wasn’t supposed to write her back.

I was really taken back, confused, and almost offended. I mean, if you don’t want to talk to me, don’t talk to me. Don’t get mad at me for talking to you either. I’m just a friendly guy. Was she really so full of herself that a simple conversation had her convinced I was so into her that she complained about it to my friend?

Ultimately though, she’s just a girl and if she wants to act like we’re in middle school, there’s no reason for me to be friends with her. I can’t control her reaction to me or what I say, but her having a negative reaction is not my fault. She’s just a silly girl. Her pettiness isn’t worth getting worked up over.

By: Coach Kimberly

Coach Kimberly — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:26:15 +0000

Kevin–what was great about what you have done is that you have taken control of your life and not allowing others to dictate it for you! Have you applied this to your dating life as well?

By: Markus

Markus — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:15:08 +0000

I think it comes down to the different ways people see the world. And it’s a hard one, too. Who hasn’t blamed someone for their fate someday?

But fact is that the more we learn to stay in our own reality, the better things work out for us. And the first thing to realize is that we are the creator of anything that happens.

Eastern philosophy teaches us to “go with the flow”, which means to accept everything that’s coming and making the best out of it or even using it as a valuable resource!

By: Charles

Charles — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 01:40:23 +0000

I agree with this because you are the only person to blame if your day has turned from bad to horrible. Usually when you have a bad day it turns horrible when you react badly towards a bad situation.

By: David Black

David Black — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:52:41 +0000

I totally agree here. The one thing that you can always bank on, any time, any place, is *yourself*. Once you harness this paradigm, it empowers you to be able to deal with any challenging or potentially negative situation life throws your way.