Comments on: Women: Get Rid Of Your Masculine Energy

By: Carla

Carla — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:25:03 +0000

I don’t believe any of you are wrong here. It just depends on what your desired outcome in a relationship is. It’s not wrong to be a woman with male-energy, but you will always attract the man who is more “feminine-energy” which is also not wrong and works great for a lot of couples.

And, I agree if these personalities are used to an extreme or in a narcissistic way, one is crossing the line and being controlling or using the other person.

I am reading a book that beautifully illustrates and explains this proven method of masculine and feminine energy and knowing how to obtain a healthy, balanced and long-lasting relationship. It’s called “Getting to I Do” by Marianne Williams. Very enlightening!

By: Rebekka

Rebekka — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:12:20 +0000

Also how about men who have too much “feminine energy”? Isn’t the reason women have become “dominant” because men won’t step up, won’t decide, are insanely indecisive, and don’t know what the heck they want?

By: Rebekka

Rebekka — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:09:19 +0000

I don’t agree that women with “masculine energy” has daddy issues. That is just generalizing a whole group of women who actually are just born with leadership qualities.

It’s sad that women who know what they want and say what’s on their mind are “unattractive”. I think that’s far from the truth. I, myself am someone who speaks up, says what’s on my mind, and still have lots of men chasing after me.

I think what you are trying to say is that all men and women should be wise and humble towards each other. Respecting each other is important- but that doesn’t have to do with women blindly submitting to men so that men can find them attractive.

I think a woman who knows and loves herself is more attractive than a woman who tries to “act feminine” (whatever your definition is).

By: Jalal

Jalal — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:55:56 +0000

Solid (if a little simplistic) article, found via search on ‘controlling women’. I did throw in Daddy issues (and it was Ashton’s post that mentioned it). I have been engaging for about a year with a woman who is very successful, smart, talented and attractive. We have a deep soul connection that I felt within the first 10 minutes of talking with her (and right when I saw her). I have done a lot of inner work and continue to. While not ‘all figured out,’ I admit when I’m in self-delusion or am willing to have someone point it out to me. I do the same in exchange. I used to be the consummate Nice Guy and paid horribly for it. Over 15 year since high school, I grew a pair, found a calling/purpose that provides meaning for my life (yes, very masculine), and started to not make my life revolve around women, responding to every email/text/call. I self-validated, saw my own Mommy/Daddy issues and was able to forgive them and myself for ‘not being perfect.’ They just did their best and I could forgive them for being human.

Whew, ramble much? Fast forward to this situation. This woman is really amazing in many ways, but I sensed this over-assertiveness, a need to be strong and determined and prove herself, etc. etc. We were in a workshop centered on tapping into your own power/truth/love so it was an awesome opportunity to connect in an authentic way. I could feel that she was avoiding physical intimacy while wanting to control how conversations went, needing to add a witty remark, etc. I probably sound whiny and God I hope that isn’t actually the case. I’m pointing out what I felt. I’ve been with women who were very feminine, soft, *and* brilliant. Their intelligence was actually more understated than overstated. I realized how *wise* they were, and how powerful. They made me want to “be a better man” as the great expression goes.

I’ve dated quite a few women and have to say, as I’ve gotten more in touch with my masculinity I immediately can sense a woman who is strong in her feminine power and also comfortably masculine (to a far lesser extent than me) vs. a woman who would rather *not* be the vulnerable/open/inviting feminine and hides behind an attitude that is almost desperately crying out “Love me, accept me, validate me!”

Needed to express this tonight. I will likely bring this topic up with her and tell her how I feel. We do communicate well, thankfully.

By: lm

lm — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:39:03 +0000

I’m with Kelly and May on this one.

Ashton, imo you’re being a little too condescending.

By: Regina

Regina — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:04:34 +0000

I found that I had toooo much feminine energy but it changed over time and now I have tooo much masculine. I am having a hard time balancing the two. The last couple relationships I was in I now realize the men had more of a feminine energy and what I want is a man with more masculine energy. I think the last two relatinships therefore caused me to have more masculine energy. So my task right now is to try and tap more into my feminine energy.

By: Alison

Alison — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 17:21:22 +0000

Ashton,
I think what you wrote about women and their daddy issues was very astute and I am in the midst of unlearning many things in how I act as a woman that has to do around this very topic. I know that I want a masculine man but due to a combination of many things stated in the above blog thread I am finding it incredibly challenging to not “jump” into overgiving too soon, being directive, etc. It is a fascinating and wonderful experience for me to be learning how to be feminine in a way that will bring me a masculine loving man that I can have the intimacy and life with that I deeply desire. I am just a couple of months into this experience and I am using support from several sources to achieve this shift in my life. I feel so blessed to have come to the understanding that it was what I have been doing that has been getting what I have been getting and that I just need to learn because I was never taught. That simple…life is a wonderful feedback loop that directs you to the next indicated steps. I am in the process of loving myself enough to give myself the support and practice until I get the desired result. It helps that I have had several lovely men in my life, have a wonderful grown daughter that I worked very hard to raise well, and am at a place where this is the next gift I can work co-creating with my life to get a different result.

By: Ashton

Ashton — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 15:20:18 +0000

May – the reason this article doesn’t resonate with you is that you don’t have the masculine energy David is talking about. I’m working with some women who really do embody this. They are very bossy and directive and can’t understand why they aren’t attracting men they can love and respect. The only ones they are attracting are wimpy men. I explained to them that they are attracting feminine men and that they will not be happy with these men, so in order to attract a masculine man, they will have to change themselves. Well, this is easier said than done!!

The reason I looked up this article was to get a few ideas to help them. I am having them go back in their lives to where they started feeling that they had to take charge and be the boss. Generally, there are some Daddy issues here. They were not boys, so they have to act like boys. My challenge is to help them change this way of acting. I have both a girl and a boy and both sexes of children are wonderful and very different. What I have to do with these women is to help them realize how beautiful, smart, funny and wonderful girls are (boys are, too, but that isn’t an issue here). For whatever reason, these girls never felt that inside where it counts. I have a way of handling this with them, but that’s another topic.

By: May

May — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:01:47 +0000

My problem with this entire thing isn’t the masculine feminine energy concept in theory, it’s that submissions is purely aligned with the idea of femininity. Is it really emasculating for a man if I don’t greet him as the docile picture of submission? Does a man that needs to constantly be reinforced in his masculinity even count as masculine?

I can’t imagine living a life the way this article suggests. I’m all for embracing the nurturing, opening, and comforting traits of the female psyche, but I believe having a man dictate to me the way in which I should live my life would eat away at any emotional attachment I may feel for him. I love to cook and take care of my father and boyfriend, but I would never be able to accept blatant and unjustified dominance in a relationship; what would make my boyfriend’s opinion any more relevant or correct than mine, his genitalia?

By: Jacky

Jacky — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 23:44:17 +0000

I really enjoyed this article. It’s a concept I hadn’t even heard about. I’m one of these girls that gives off a lot of masculine energy. I work in an environment where I’m the only woman in a room full of men and don’t mind it at all. I grew up surrounded by boys who were essentially like my “troops”. As the tomboy who grew into an attractive woman, it’s easy for me to look feminine but in conversations I’m usually the lead and in relationships I take over. I’m trying to soften up so that I can be in a great relationship without threatening their masculinity with my overly confident sense of self.