Comments on: Women: Get Rid Of Your Masculine Energy http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Thu, 24 May 2012 21:46:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Char http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-66093 Char Thu, 15 Mar 2012 04:23:57 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-66093 Great discussion... I enjoyed reading everyone's perspective on this topic. My idea is more philosophical and is about the broader question of humans of both genders, their dualities and everything inbetween. Traditionally there have been very distinct roles that a man and a woman served in a partnership. Back in old society, when women didn't work and did not have rights, weren't allowed input into the finances or even had legal entitlement to assets if there were seperation or death of the male provider... women were given the duties of child bearing, manageing the household and appeasing her spouse. Men also weren't respected if they displayed a free-spirit. This was in the time when african americans didn't have the same rights as caucasian. Times have changed in the first world. Tradition is questioned and scrutinized more than ever, and thank god for that. With that being said, I question the authenticity of such accepted ideas that women and men are inheritely different to their deepest core. Afterall, isn't the soul and essence of a human all the same? Arn't men and women both capable of the same range of emotions and thought? I know men who, if you were to record their most prominent attributes on paper, would be considered feminine. I also know women who live lives that, a hundred years ago, would have been only acceptable by a male. But she is fully capable. What is wrong with any of that? Who decides how these people should act? I think the enlightened and more intelligent a human, the more the polarities blur, and you'll find strong, driven men who also have intuition and strong sensitivities, aswell as nuturing, open, beautiful women who can lead in the work place. The spirit is genderless. It would be a waste of what you are if you were to change yourself into an out-dated ideal that predates your birth. Tradition is irrelevant. Women with strong masculine energy, if that is who you are and that is who you want to be, don't ever compromise that for a man who wants to dictate. Instead, find a man who will be attracted to you exactly as you are. And men too, if you are the sensitive type, don't ever play games or alter yourself into pretending to be an alpha male on a date. Anyone who tries too hard just ends up looking like a jackass. We can't all be the same. We are all human beings, so BE. Great discussion… I enjoyed reading everyone’s perspective on this topic. My idea is more philosophical and is about the broader question of humans of both genders, their dualities and everything inbetween. Traditionally there have been very distinct roles that a man and a woman served in a partnership. Back in old society, when women didn’t work and did not have rights, weren’t allowed input into the finances or even had legal entitlement to assets if there were seperation or death of the male provider… women were given the duties of child bearing, manageing the household and appeasing her spouse. Men also weren’t respected if they displayed a free-spirit. This was in the time when african americans didn’t have the same rights as caucasian. Times have changed in the first world. Tradition is questioned and scrutinized more than ever, and thank god for that. With that being said, I question the authenticity of such accepted ideas that women and men are inheritely different to their deepest core. Afterall, isn’t the soul and essence of a human all the same? Arn’t men and women both capable of the same range of emotions and thought? I know men who, if you were to record their most prominent attributes on paper, would be considered feminine. I also know women who live lives that, a hundred years ago, would have been only acceptable by a male. But she is fully capable. What is wrong with any of that? Who decides how these people should act? I think the enlightened and more intelligent a human, the more the polarities blur, and you’ll find strong, driven men who also have intuition and strong sensitivities, aswell as nuturing, open, beautiful women who can lead in the work place. The spirit is genderless. It would be a waste of what you are if you were to change yourself into an out-dated ideal that predates your birth. Tradition is irrelevant. Women with strong masculine energy, if that is who you are and that is who you want to be, don’t ever compromise that for a man who wants to dictate. Instead, find a man who will be attracted to you exactly as you are. And men too, if you are the sensitive type, don’t ever play games or alter yourself into pretending to be an alpha male on a date. Anyone who tries too hard just ends up looking like a jackass. We can’t all be the same. We are all human beings, so BE.

]]> By: Carla http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-64493 Carla Thu, 02 Feb 2012 04:25:03 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-64493 I don't believe any of you are wrong here. It just depends on what your desired outcome in a relationship is. It's not wrong to be a woman with male-energy, but you will always attract the man who is more "feminine-energy" which is also not wrong and works great for a lot of couples. And, I agree if these personalities are used to an extreme or in a narcissistic way, one is crossing the line and being controlling or using the other person. I am reading a book that beautifully illustrates and explains this proven method of masculine and feminine energy and knowing how to obtain a healthy, balanced and long-lasting relationship. It's called "Getting to I Do" by Marianne Williams. Very enlightening! I don’t believe any of you are wrong here. It just depends on what your desired outcome in a relationship is. It’s not wrong to be a woman with male-energy, but you will always attract the man who is more “feminine-energy” which is also not wrong and works great for a lot of couples.

And, I agree if these personalities are used to an extreme or in a narcissistic way, one is crossing the line and being controlling or using the other person.

I am reading a book that beautifully illustrates and explains this proven method of masculine and feminine energy and knowing how to obtain a healthy, balanced and long-lasting relationship. It’s called “Getting to I Do” by Marianne Williams. Very enlightening!

]]> By: Rebekka http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-62932 Rebekka Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:12:20 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-62932 Also how about men who have too much "feminine energy"? Isn't the reason women have become "dominant" because men won't step up, won't decide, are insanely indecisive, and don't know what the heck they want? Also how about men who have too much “feminine energy”? Isn’t the reason women have become “dominant” because men won’t step up, won’t decide, are insanely indecisive, and don’t know what the heck they want?

]]> By: Rebekka http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-62931 Rebekka Thu, 22 Dec 2011 20:09:19 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-62931 I don't agree that women with "masculine energy" has daddy issues. That is just generalizing a whole group of women who actually are just born with leadership qualities. It's sad that women who know what they want and say what's on their mind are "unattractive". I think that's far from the truth. I, myself am someone who speaks up, says what's on my mind, and still have lots of men chasing after me. I think what you are trying to say is that all men and women should be wise and humble towards each other. Respecting each other is important- but that doesn't have to do with women blindly submitting to men so that men can find them attractive. I think a woman who knows and loves herself is more attractive than a woman who tries to "act feminine" (whatever your definition is). I don’t agree that women with “masculine energy” has daddy issues. That is just generalizing a whole group of women who actually are just born with leadership qualities.

It’s sad that women who know what they want and say what’s on their mind are “unattractive”. I think that’s far from the truth. I, myself am someone who speaks up, says what’s on my mind, and still have lots of men chasing after me.

I think what you are trying to say is that all men and women should be wise and humble towards each other. Respecting each other is important- but that doesn’t have to do with women blindly submitting to men so that men can find them attractive.

I think a woman who knows and loves herself is more attractive than a woman who tries to “act feminine” (whatever your definition is).

]]> By: Jalal http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-62799 Jalal Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:55:56 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-62799 Solid (if a little simplistic) article, found via search on 'controlling women'. I did throw in Daddy issues (and it was Ashton's post that mentioned it). I have been engaging for about a year with a woman who is very successful, smart, talented and attractive. We have a deep soul connection that I felt within the first 10 minutes of talking with her (and right when I saw her). I have done a lot of inner work and continue to. While not 'all figured out,' I admit when I'm in self-delusion or am willing to have someone point it out to me. I do the same in exchange. I used to be the consummate Nice Guy and paid horribly for it. Over 15 year since high school, I grew a pair, found a calling/purpose that provides meaning for my life (yes, very masculine), and started to not make my life revolve around women, responding to every email/text/call. I self-validated, saw my own Mommy/Daddy issues and was able to forgive them and myself for 'not being perfect.' They just did their best and I could forgive them for being human. Whew, ramble much? ;) Fast forward to this situation. This woman is really amazing in many ways, but I sensed this over-assertiveness, a need to be strong and determined and prove herself, etc. etc. We were in a workshop centered on tapping into your own power/truth/love so it was an awesome opportunity to connect in an authentic way. I could feel that she was avoiding physical intimacy while wanting to control how conversations went, needing to add a witty remark, etc. I probably sound whiny and God I hope that isn't actually the case. I'm pointing out what I felt. I've been with women who were very feminine, soft, *and* brilliant. Their intelligence was actually more understated than overstated. I realized how *wise* they were, and how powerful. They made me want to "be a better man" as the great expression goes. I've dated quite a few women and have to say, as I've gotten more in touch with my masculinity I immediately can sense a woman who is strong in her feminine power and also comfortably masculine (to a far lesser extent than me) vs. a woman who would rather *not* be the vulnerable/open/inviting feminine and hides behind an attitude that is almost desperately crying out "Love me, accept me, validate me!" Needed to express this tonight. I will likely bring this topic up with her and tell her how I feel. We do communicate well, thankfully. Solid (if a little simplistic) article, found via search on ‘controlling women’. I did throw in Daddy issues (and it was Ashton’s post that mentioned it). I have been engaging for about a year with a woman who is very successful, smart, talented and attractive. We have a deep soul connection that I felt within the first 10 minutes of talking with her (and right when I saw her). I have done a lot of inner work and continue to. While not ‘all figured out,’ I admit when I’m in self-delusion or am willing to have someone point it out to me. I do the same in exchange. I used to be the consummate Nice Guy and paid horribly for it. Over 15 year since high school, I grew a pair, found a calling/purpose that provides meaning for my life (yes, very masculine), and started to not make my life revolve around women, responding to every email/text/call. I self-validated, saw my own Mommy/Daddy issues and was able to forgive them and myself for ‘not being perfect.’ They just did their best and I could forgive them for being human.

Whew, ramble much? ;) Fast forward to this situation. This woman is really amazing in many ways, but I sensed this over-assertiveness, a need to be strong and determined and prove herself, etc. etc. We were in a workshop centered on tapping into your own power/truth/love so it was an awesome opportunity to connect in an authentic way. I could feel that she was avoiding physical intimacy while wanting to control how conversations went, needing to add a witty remark, etc. I probably sound whiny and God I hope that isn’t actually the case. I’m pointing out what I felt. I’ve been with women who were very feminine, soft, *and* brilliant. Their intelligence was actually more understated than overstated. I realized how *wise* they were, and how powerful. They made me want to “be a better man” as the great expression goes.

I’ve dated quite a few women and have to say, as I’ve gotten more in touch with my masculinity I immediately can sense a woman who is strong in her feminine power and also comfortably masculine (to a far lesser extent than me) vs. a woman who would rather *not* be the vulnerable/open/inviting feminine and hides behind an attitude that is almost desperately crying out “Love me, accept me, validate me!”

Needed to express this tonight. I will likely bring this topic up with her and tell her how I feel. We do communicate well, thankfully.

]]> By: lm http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-62722 lm Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:39:03 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-62722 I'm with Kelly and May on this one. Ashton, imo you're being a little too condescending. I’m with Kelly and May on this one.

Ashton, imo you’re being a little too condescending.

]]> By: Regina http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-55137 Regina Wed, 14 Sep 2011 14:04:34 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-55137 I found that I had toooo much feminine energy but it changed over time and now I have tooo much masculine. I am having a hard time balancing the two. The last couple relationships I was in I now realize the men had more of a feminine energy and what I want is a man with more masculine energy. I think the last two relatinships therefore caused me to have more masculine energy. So my task right now is to try and tap more into my feminine energy. I found that I had toooo much feminine energy but it changed over time and now I have tooo much masculine. I am having a hard time balancing the two. The last couple relationships I was in I now realize the men had more of a feminine energy and what I want is a man with more masculine energy. I think the last two relatinships therefore caused me to have more masculine energy. So my task right now is to try and tap more into my feminine energy.

]]> By: Alison http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-46886 Alison Sat, 05 Mar 2011 17:21:22 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-46886 Ashton, I think what you wrote about women and their daddy issues was very astute and I am in the midst of unlearning many things in how I act as a woman that has to do around this very topic. I know that I want a masculine man but due to a combination of many things stated in the above blog thread I am finding it incredibly challenging to not "jump" into overgiving too soon, being directive, etc. It is a fascinating and wonderful experience for me to be learning how to be feminine in a way that will bring me a masculine loving man that I can have the intimacy and life with that I deeply desire. I am just a couple of months into this experience and I am using support from several sources to achieve this shift in my life. I feel so blessed to have come to the understanding that it was what I have been doing that has been getting what I have been getting and that I just need to learn because I was never taught. That simple...life is a wonderful feedback loop that directs you to the next indicated steps. I am in the process of loving myself enough to give myself the support and practice until I get the desired result. It helps that I have had several lovely men in my life, have a wonderful grown daughter that I worked very hard to raise well, and am at a place where this is the next gift I can work co-creating with my life to get a different result. Ashton,
I think what you wrote about women and their daddy issues was very astute and I am in the midst of unlearning many things in how I act as a woman that has to do around this very topic. I know that I want a masculine man but due to a combination of many things stated in the above blog thread I am finding it incredibly challenging to not “jump” into overgiving too soon, being directive, etc. It is a fascinating and wonderful experience for me to be learning how to be feminine in a way that will bring me a masculine loving man that I can have the intimacy and life with that I deeply desire. I am just a couple of months into this experience and I am using support from several sources to achieve this shift in my life. I feel so blessed to have come to the understanding that it was what I have been doing that has been getting what I have been getting and that I just need to learn because I was never taught. That simple…life is a wonderful feedback loop that directs you to the next indicated steps. I am in the process of loving myself enough to give myself the support and practice until I get the desired result. It helps that I have had several lovely men in my life, have a wonderful grown daughter that I worked very hard to raise well, and am at a place where this is the next gift I can work co-creating with my life to get a different result.

]]> By: Ashton http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-45482 Ashton Sat, 08 Jan 2011 15:20:18 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-45482 May - the reason this article doesn't resonate with you is that you don't have the masculine energy David is talking about. I'm working with some women who really do embody this. They are very bossy and directive and can't understand why they aren't attracting men they can love and respect. The only ones they are attracting are wimpy men. I explained to them that they are attracting feminine men and that they will not be happy with these men, so in order to attract a masculine man, they will have to change themselves. Well, this is easier said than done!! The reason I looked up this article was to get a few ideas to help them. I am having them go back in their lives to where they started feeling that they had to take charge and be the boss. Generally, there are some Daddy issues here. They were not boys, so they have to act like boys. My challenge is to help them change this way of acting. I have both a girl and a boy and both sexes of children are wonderful and very different. What I have to do with these women is to help them realize how beautiful, smart, funny and wonderful girls are (boys are, too, but that isn't an issue here). For whatever reason, these girls never felt that inside where it counts. I have a way of handling this with them, but that's another topic. May – the reason this article doesn’t resonate with you is that you don’t have the masculine energy David is talking about. I’m working with some women who really do embody this. They are very bossy and directive and can’t understand why they aren’t attracting men they can love and respect. The only ones they are attracting are wimpy men. I explained to them that they are attracting feminine men and that they will not be happy with these men, so in order to attract a masculine man, they will have to change themselves. Well, this is easier said than done!!

The reason I looked up this article was to get a few ideas to help them. I am having them go back in their lives to where they started feeling that they had to take charge and be the boss. Generally, there are some Daddy issues here. They were not boys, so they have to act like boys. My challenge is to help them change this way of acting. I have both a girl and a boy and both sexes of children are wonderful and very different. What I have to do with these women is to help them realize how beautiful, smart, funny and wonderful girls are (boys are, too, but that isn’t an issue here). For whatever reason, these girls never felt that inside where it counts. I have a way of handling this with them, but that’s another topic.

]]> By: May http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/women-get-rid-of-your-masculine-energy/2597/#comment-45162 May Tue, 21 Dec 2010 12:01:47 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=2597#comment-45162 My problem with this entire thing isn't the masculine feminine energy concept in theory, it's that submissions is purely aligned with the idea of femininity. Is it really emasculating for a man if I don't greet him as the docile picture of submission? Does a man that needs to constantly be reinforced in his masculinity even count as masculine? I can't imagine living a life the way this article suggests. I'm all for embracing the nurturing, opening, and comforting traits of the female psyche, but I believe having a man dictate to me the way in which I should live my life would eat away at any emotional attachment I may feel for him. I love to cook and take care of my father and boyfriend, but I would never be able to accept blatant and unjustified dominance in a relationship; what would make my boyfriend's opinion any more relevant or correct than mine, his genitalia? My problem with this entire thing isn’t the masculine feminine energy concept in theory, it’s that submissions is purely aligned with the idea of femininity. Is it really emasculating for a man if I don’t greet him as the docile picture of submission? Does a man that needs to constantly be reinforced in his masculinity even count as masculine?

I can’t imagine living a life the way this article suggests. I’m all for embracing the nurturing, opening, and comforting traits of the female psyche, but I believe having a man dictate to me the way in which I should live my life would eat away at any emotional attachment I may feel for him. I love to cook and take care of my father and boyfriend, but I would never be able to accept blatant and unjustified dominance in a relationship; what would make my boyfriend’s opinion any more relevant or correct than mine, his genitalia?

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