Why You Should Date 2 People At Once
October 22, 2011 
146 Comments
Last night at dinner, Shogo confessed to the guys that he enjoys dating 2 women at a time, that way he can get all his needs met. When he said that a very proper British woman sitting next to us made a snide remark to her friend and they both started laughing.
You have to love British snobs.
It got me thinking and I get this question from from readers all the time. “David, Help! I’m dating two people, and I can’t keep my stories straight. I don’t remember what I said to one person, and now they’re starting to blend. How do I keep these two people separate?”
My answer to this question is: Concentrate a little more, and remember what is distinctly different between the two of them.
A lot of people will date more than one person at a time while they’re trying to figure out which one of the people they’re dating will will win the lottery. Yes, the person who is lucky enough to hang out with you has won the lottery! If you don’t feel like you’re a gift to the people you’re dating, then it doesn’t matter whether you’re dating two people or ten people . . . because you’ll be dating the wrong people.
The first person you need to date is yourself. Knowing who you are and what you’re all about is far more important than your ego dating two or more people at a time. I speak extensively about this in my Men’s Audio Mastery Series program.
So now, after you’ve done the the work on yourself and you know who you are, then what do you do when you’ve met two fantastic women that you want to know (or two fantastic men that you want to know)?
Dating is about being patient. In order to get to know somebody, you need to be patient. You don’t want to make a quick decision and jump into a relationship based on not enough information. Every day that you speak with someone you’re dating is another day to get to know them on a more intimate level.
If you’re dating two people and you’re liking both of them, there’s nothing wrong with that. Take your time! Date both of them, and then you’re not creating your own version of ABC’s “The Bachelor,” where you’re trying to date 25 women in an overpriced Malibu mansion. What you’re trying to do is figure out with which one of the two you want to hang out.
The key thing here is to take notes. Now I’m not saying that when you’re out on a date with girl or guy #1, that you need to bring your little notepad with you and write down all the things that they say. What I’m suggesting is you need to journal entry when you get home.
Keep a dating journal and write down what you like about the person. Write down what they’re all about. After each phone conversation do the same thing. Write down and keep a journal about who they are, what some of their interests are, and about some of the things you’d like to do with them.
We’re human . . . it’s hard to remember everything that somebody says. It’s hard enough to remember what you say. So it’s perfectly okay to keep a journal and read it over before you see someone to remind yourself of all the things you’ve talked about with them previously. This will help you to not repeat the story of your cousin Larry getting drunk at the family picnic. If you have an intense emotional connection with them, this will also help you not repeat the same things so they won’t look at you like you’ve got the memory of a 93 year-old with Alzheimer’s.
A dating journal is a good idea. It will also prevent you from getting involved in an unhealthy relationship. Being able to share your feelings with yourself on a daily basis is an extremely healthy proposition.
So the next time you’re dating two people, start journaling! Or, if you’re dating three or four people, start journaling as well. It doesn’t matter . . . it’s just a number.
The one thing you do not want to do though is leave your journal on your coffee table when one of the people you’re dating comes over for dinner. Not only is that embarrassing, but you will have a lot to explain about who Amy is . . .
I am in a mall, in victoria’s secret right now, as I type this.
I am now, officially,,, depressed.
When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was seeing 3 other guys as well. I honestly didn’t find it THAT hard to keep everything straight, because everything was pretty new with all of them. It wasn’t really something I worried too much about, because I didn’t feel that the level of seriousness was high enough with any of them. One was a musician who travelled a lot, so we didn’t see each other that often, another lived in the next province (not far, but far enough) and another was a fellow student at my University. It wasn’t progressing very quickly with any of them, mostly due to distance and stuff, and I eventually narrowed it down to two – the student and my boyfriend. Things went pretty well with both of them, but I didn’t present it as anything too serious to either of them, which gave me a space to work in if I decided to date either of them seriously. The more time I spent with both of them, the more I felt myself gravitating towards the guy I’m currently dating, and we eventually had a chat about it and decided to date exclusively. When I chatted with the other fellow about it, I politely let him know that I was getting serious with someone else and that I hoped everything would be okay, and it was. In fact, we’re still close friends and I give him girl advice, we go to the gym together and hang out a lot.
Soo…. long story short… It’s not that hard to manage dating multiple people at once. But my advice is to never represent yourself as getting serious with them both at the same time, or there will be a lot of unnecessarily hurt feelings. And do try to eventually make a choice!
I don’t date 2 different women at once, and I don’t want a woman to date me and an other guy at the same time, not because I don’t want her to, because she will choose the other guy over me.
On an important note… @David Wygant didn’t reply helping me, the argument is still going on, on facebook. I’m screwed, and why won’t you help me David?
Oh lord please give me the strength to get through these cyberbullies on facebook, because this fuckin rat bastard won’t help me.
paula, did you do anything special to keep the interest elevated for them to call you back for another date? i’m curious because i am not doing the greatest with dating people, either too aggressive or too nonchalant. how do i balance that?
Great blog David.
This blog answer my question from two days ago. I wasn’t sure it was okay to date more than one guy. Plus, I will take Paula’s advice and be honest.
@tom,, I think David is away on a bootcamp this weekend.
@Tom: There’s no need to call David a “rat bastard”. I don’t think he’s necessarily intentionally avoiding you. He might just be busy! And maybe with the cyber-bullies problem – stop engaging with them. If they’re being tools, don’t fuel their fire by shooting back. Just let it go, it’s only Facebook! People will forget about a flamewar in a week.
@Theresa: I don’t know what to tell you! I don’t think I did anything special. Some advice I CAN give you though: I don’t have a problem being myself though on dates. I am fully aware that being myself might come off as weird, or a little silly at times (because I AM goofy and weird), but that’s part of who I am and I don’t let myself be afraid to let it out. I think it’s easy to get nervous on a first date because you’re in your head a lot and you want them to like you, but remind yourself that if the guy you’re seeing isn’t the one, there’ll be another one, some other time. It’s a good mindset to get into so that you can just let go and have fun instead of worrying all the time!
Also, have you tried to call them after a date, instead of waiting for them to call you? I do that occasionally, like if I have a really good time and haven’t talked to them in a few days afterwards. Often, they’re not calling because they’re nervous or have been busy, so sometimes it’s okay to call them instead of making them always be the one who calls! It’s good to remember that guys feel pressure in these kinds of situations too, and often they get nervous about timing and stuff after a first date. We’re all human!
Ok, there has been no advice here lately about how to meet people, so I will provide it.
If you want to meet women,, be VERY, VERY, SKINNY. period.
If you are really skinny, at least SOME women will find you attractive. Do whatever you can to get really, really, skinny.
Just my two cents today.
Tom
Are you kidding. You changed the subject to cyber bullies. People you never see and your cowering in the corner of your room with your laptop on your head.
Come on man stay on topic and this is a good topic.
And do you really expect David to drop everything and answer your qestion. Did you read the blog?
He is in LOndon coaching people who respect and pay for his time,
Cyber bullies.LOL
@John: Some women can say the same thing about how they feel about men. I disagree with both sides of that. I know a girl who is well over 200lbs and dating a buff, tall, handsome Italian fellow. He’s a friend of mine, and his lady is a wonderful woman. She is super charismatic, funny, beautiful and takes good care of herself. I think weight worries are just another excuse! And banishing excuses is a common theme on this blog.
It’s hard to fully accept yourself when you’re not the size you want to be, but it’s definitely not something to worry about in terms of attracting a good mate. I have dated skinny skinny guys who are probably less than 150lbs, heavy powerlifter types with bellies and everything in between! I think confidence is much more powerful than what you’re saying. I think everyone has body issues, but it’s not a reason that you wouldn’t be able to date who you want to date.
I’m also sure that really skinny guys would say you have to be much, much bigger to date ladies! I had a conversation with a guy friend the other day before we went to the gym, and he mentioned he had stopped doing cardio completely because he thinks that 157 lbs is too light for a guy, and he can’t keep up with eating enough to gain weight. So he’s strictly doing weights now, even though he has an extremely lean, fit body, because he feels the exact opposite way that you do.
So, I disagree! BANISH EXCUSES!
Great topic.
I am dating 6 guys right now sleeping with 2 of them and having a blast.
I just ended a 5 year relationship and its like a buffet table in vegas.
I am with the biggest asshole Why do i call him that is cuz he says im fat and need to lose some pounds and i am only 105 OMG Its really strating to get to me
Hey Paula, thanks for the great advice. you are right, if they are not interested there are still other people out there that may be interested. thanks again.
@Kathy: If he is the biggest asshole, why are you with him? If he makes you feel bad about yourself, why don’t you just leave? It’s not worth being in a relationship that makes you feel terrible, and what he’s doing is wrong. Dump him.
John, I’m glad you posted what you did about being skinny.
I was wondering how long ot would take for you to post your go-to excuses after reading that you were in victoria’s secret.
It was quick. You’re really hard on yourself and you do the downward spiral super fast.
I want to point this out because I don’t think you notice when you do it. Something bugs you and you sprint into the darkness.
What was it about Victoria secret that got to you? And what is your excuse protecting you from?
While I’m here, Tom, I think you should look into your need to be the center of attention. Nearly everyday you try to hijack the blog and you seem to get yourself into avoidable situations just so that we’ll give you attention. I know attention is intoxicating, but you’ll never achieve your goals of self-improvement if you keep doing this. Let’s put your energy into being a better you rather than just getting attention.
There’s no reason you can’t get to know a few people at the same time until you decide to be exclusive with one.
And even if you don’t end up dating someone you can still enrich each other’s life.
Great topic for a post. I date multiple women, because most first dates end right after that.
I think men pick and women decide. I am interested in a woman if I make the effort to ask her out. But then, she is deciding whether she likes me on a date. I act myself, I am positive, and I do what I can to generate a friendly, upbeat experience. But ultimately, it is up to the woman to reciprocate. Most don’t. So I keep on multiple dating.
@Theresa: you’ve got to show the guy that you are interested in them, and you’ve got to make the time. In my case, if a woman is ambivalent, and I have keep initiating for the next date, and she keeps delaying, I get the signal she is not interested and I move on. Even if she wants me to “woo her” I still need some feedback from her that she is warming up to me. I can’t tell you the number of times a woman is expecting this, and acts cold in return.
John, not all women look at a guy’s weight or height. For me, I prefer men to have some meat on there bones.
As for me, Im not the ideal weight either. If guy doesnt want to date me because Im not the size there are looking for. Im okay with that. I will not let that hold me back.
After my marriage fell apart, I let myself go. I realize I had to take care of myself. I made a choice to go to the gym and workout with my trainer regularly. There are group of guys in my gym. That are my biggest supporter. They had seen me transform myself over a period of two years. Telling me great workout. At the beginning, I wore men sweats. I couldnt even reach to tie my shoes. Last week was the first time, I wore shorts to the gym. I lost over 50 lbs and four sizes. During my transformation, my attitude change.
John looking at your picture you have a great smile. From some of your comments, you are funny. These are bonus points. Im not saying everyone doesnt look at appearances at first. However, some of us, want more than just great pair of eyes.
Be positive
@Jennifer: Good for you! You’re an inspiration for us all! I find the gym is the best place to change your attitude. Even if you don’t lose weight (or as much as you did), it’s still a great place to change your attitude. Getting physical is a great release and it’s remarkable how you can just FEEL yourself getting healthier! This summer/fall, my asthma has been at its worst, so I changed up my workout routine from simply cardio to doing weights as well. While I haven’t gained or lost any weight, I’ve been loving how my body feels different, stronger and more toned because of the substitution from fat to muscle. It’s amazing! And it just feels good to know your body is healthy, and I think that goes miles and miles if you wanna change your mindset.
@Dan: I like the “men pick, women decide” thing. Even though I’m a feminist, I gotta say, there is a lot of truth to that! I’m never sure of how much I like someone, how compatible I feel we are or if it’s a right fit until we go out a few times. Whereas, most of the men I’ve dated say they knew from the beginning that they wanted it.
Dan, to you what is the best signal you get from a woman that shows she is interested in you? and how do you send a signal that you are not interested? i am assuming you are not interested in every woman you meet?
I understand what you are saying, i guess i am trying to understand myself. things can get complicated for me but i think i do a good enough job for sending a signal that i am interested or not interested.
On second thought maybe my signals are not good enough, who knows though, I confuse myself.
Damn David. You are bogging to these poor guys that can’t meet or get date period, much less date multiple women, at the same time. God man, have some sympathy and courtesy. Write some damn blogs that will help guys who have trouble attracting and meeting women, PERIOD! Much less, all these sex blogs, and muliple fucking and dating women, at the same time, bull shit blogs. You are not writing to a bunch of professional “pick up artists” who can date as many women, at any time they want. Get back to reality buddy, and give some practicle advice on how they can just get a damn date.
@John what’s up my friend? Hows work going
okay i have a problem with this what if the guy is married? lol ooops…dating two people at a time is okay but do not accidentally walk in the same place that you thought the other will not be at. My problem is when I am dating one guy and i see him with another woman then it is like my dad said…he is telling you that he does not need you anymore for he has her. But in any case scenario i agree that dating two people at the same time helps a person decide who they truly want in the long run.
@intern dan, lol,, I am just saying, as far as physical attraction goes, plenty of women will find you to be physically attractive if you are just really, really skinny. I’d say it’s gotta be something like around 20%,, if I’m right, that’s one in five just by being really skinny. That’s pretty good.
You guys do what you want, but I am going to try and get as skinny as possible. Whatever it takes.
Women here,, am I pretty close on that? ,,, thoughts?
Oh, and what is it about Victorias secret that bothers me. Well, i’m walking around, all these beautiful women are EVERYWHERE, and all I can think to myself is, “must be nice, look at what everyone else gets.”
Not trying to be a downer, but you asked, and I told you.
Oh, BTW, I am typing this on my new iPad,,, it’s SWEEEET.
@Kristen,, I’m going to work late tonight. I get to go to shitsburgh, pa, home of the biggest bunch of assholes in the NFL. ( sorry, bengals fan, can’t help myself.)
@John I’m pretty chubby and I can get numbers. skinny myth has been debunked.
Also, I would like to get something negative off my chest, but I don’t want anyone saying that I intend to be negative so I will write it in another language.
@David Wygant Perché non è che mi aiuta? Sto perdendo a questi bulli che conosco nella vita reale, e mi Pissin il vaffanculo. cosa posso fare per farli smettere senza bloccare loro (perché voglio perdere se lo faccio) oppure ignorarli (ho anche perso il mio orgoglio, se lo faccio), come può verbalmente zitto? come posso verbalmente li possiede? perché quegli stronzi non si fermerà.
Signore dammi la forza per superare questi stronzi su facebook, e dal lavoro, perché questo fottuto bastardo ratto david wygant non mi aiuta perché è occupato (che non è colpa sua), o mi sta ignorando (che non è probabile , ma può essere possibile), oh signore questo bastardo ratto.
Sono molto arrabbiato, quindi non ti arrabbiare con me per me ti chiama nomi (che non voglio dire, io sto solo dicendo che per alleviare alcuni rabbia) tutta questa faccenda è come il liceo, quando ero un bambino, mi continuiamo a perdere e io so che tu puoi aiutarmi a sconfiggerli.
Ci scusiamo per maledire, tu sai che io non volevo, ma solo cercando di ottenere la rabbia dal mio petto, e sto cercando di ottenere aiuto da voi, perché nessun altro sta aiutando. Ho scritto anche questo in italiano in modo che gli altri nel blog può ignorare, in modo da non dire che sono volutamente essere negativo. utilizzare Google Translator per leggere questo. Io consiglio agli altri di non leggerlo perché non voglio che dire che sono negativi o pesca a traina.
**Was negative but isn’t meant for you guys to read, that is why it is in a different language so you don’t say I’m being negative on purpose, or that I’m trolling. @David use google translator to read what I wrote in english, NOBODY else can, and if you do, don’t say I’m negative or trolling because it wasn’t meant for you to read, only david**
** actually only David or the coaches as well, so I could get the help/solution to the certain problem, however if it’s anyone else, you cannot read it because I promised to not be negative to you.
John thats cool, and on the hole skinny thing some women like meat on there man.Well i do anyway i dont want to feel like im fucking a skeleton
Ok, I’m not saying all women. I just think if you are thin, ok instead of skinny, let’s just say thin, or slim,, then at least 20% of women are going to look at you and say,, “he’s in shape,, I’d date him.”,, right?
No feedo El trollo.
@John I agree, do not feed trolls, because I know I ain’t one…
Jānis ir trollis
@John “Ok, I’m not saying all women. I just think if you are thin, ok instead of skinny, let’s just say thin, or slim,, then at least 20% of women are going to look at you and say,, “he’s in shape,, I’d date him.”,, right?”
Stop making excuses, I’m chubby and I have approached and gotten phone numbers and dates from all types of women. like @David says stop using excuses and just approach.
Thats hard to say cuz i cant speek for all women.Where i live and the girls that i know we look for all kinds of things in a man not just looks.I have never dated a man just cuz of his looks.To me looks are not everything or i wouldnt have dated haf the man i did,I look at whats in side your heart
@Kristin “Thats hard to say cuz i cant speek for all women.Where i live and the girls that i know we look for all kinds of things in a man not just looks.I have never dated a man just cuz of his looks.To me looks are not everything or i wouldnt have dated haf the man i did,I look at whats in side your heart ”
I know, I mean john’s acting as if all women have the same type of taste. I don’t understand why men have such a hard time approaching, they are turning into such pussies, so much that they need to buy products or get tips, I learned naturally by being social. and yes more bad things then good things happen when your social, but at least your not anti-social.
Tom now thats not nice to call names and hes trying and it just takes more time for aothers
@John if you ever come to OK ill take you out and show u hows its done
I never said women all have the same taste. I said at least 20% would find you physically attractive. I think your odds are improved if you are slim.
@tom,, if you are doing so well, and getting all of these numbers and dates, then what are you always here bitching about?
@kristen, just my experience,, back when I was skinny, I used to never have a problem getting women. Of course, I was bartending too. (that didn’t hurt. )
Ok guys,, gotta get a little nap before heading out. Working the weekend SUCKS!!!! .
@John “@tom,, if you are doing so well, and getting all of these numbers and dates, then what are you always here bitching about?”
That is what you don’t understand… the approach, and getting a number and a getting a date(remember, GETTING a date, not the date itself.) is JUST the beginning man. the REST is my problem, approaching and getting a date isn’t that hard for me everything after it is. approaching should honestly be the last of your worries.
LOL Talk to you later,have a nice nap
@Kristin Do not feed the troll, you know who…
And how am i doing that?
@Kristin, because he’s a troll, you keep responding to his ridiculousness, he knows he can approach a woman, it ain’t hard, he’s just looking for attention. not saying that’s bad because it is very nice of you to help, but he’s a troll, so you’re just feeding into his b.s.
anyways, how you and bob doing?
Tom, We r doing great and haveing lots of fun.Its really pretty down here and i love it here
Really? Date two people at once. Man I’m really questioning listening to your guys’ advice ever again. If you don’t know why dating two people at once is a problem then I feel extremely terrible for you. Worst blog ever! Everybody needs to mature a little before getting into a relationship if anyone thinks this is a good idea. Just disheartening! Lost much respect today for this blog!
David S. there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person, provided that in a short amount of time you are exclusive with one, this is what playing the field is all about.
You go out and approach as many women as possible, some may build a connection, and you might get some numbers. Once you actually go on a date with these girls, then it thins out the numbers because some flake, others you don’t connect with.
If you take a group of 10 women that agree to give you their numbers because you were a great guy, you select whom you date. You may not even take all of them out on dates, maybe 5 or 6, then you lower that number to 2-3 by the time you realize who you connect more with. This narrows down to the girl you want to see the most and who you connect with the most.
Date who ever and however many women you want, I’m not here to judge. To each their own. You may not be able to make up your mind between more than one, you enjoy dating more than one person cause it helps keep your head straight, whatever the reason you choose to do what you want. Life is meant to be lived, and we can’t make anyone live differently unless they choose to.
Tom, where do you get that I don’t approach women. You never make any sense. I talk about how I approach women all the time. You just come in here, and make stuff up, just to try and start something.
And for god’s sake,, learn how to take a joke.
@davids,,, I agree with you 100%. ,,, worst blog topic ever. Worse than the “fuckation” blog by a long way.
Oh, and Kristen,, Tom takes anything you say about him, and makes it about you. That’s his M/O. He comes in here with scrolling b.s. in a different language, and fills the blog full of garbage that you have to scroll past,, and the calls me a troll. All the while, crying and complaining about Cyber Bullies.
It’s hilarious, I don’t know what we’d do without him! ,, lol.
In the Scandinavian mythology a troll, beside being a repulsive creature it is also very dangerous or i don’t see anything dangerous about our troll here…anything but creepiness.
Therefore may i suggest a different terminology to describe our fellow blogger, something more creepy, something that crawls and hide in dark humid places.
-bellow i came up with some names that could fit our friend:
internet maggot, insect, millipede, rat and…faggot( i know is not a creature but it rhymes with maggot:)
I agree with KC. Its okay to date more than one person until you find the one. The one you want to be in exclusive relationship with. For me, I met a guy three months ago. We just went on our first date this month. He knew I was dating another guy. I have been on six dates with him. I do not have any intention of being physically intimate with either of them. Im just getting to know them. This takes the pressure off too. It gives me a chance to know if I want a relationship him or not.
@KC: Its very simple here, its wrong.
Plus, I thought this was the ultimate goal to meet wonderful people. Go on dates and find the one. This is the reason Im here. Dating has changed since I was in highschool. Highschool was great and no pressure at all. Then, I met my ex husband in college and that was it. Now I feel I need a guide to help me with dating. So many hidden meanings. Plus, I stopped asking my friends what it means when a guy say this. Fear of them laughing at me.
Im grateful for the blogs and the comments.
Nice try Tom, but writing in Italian is still being negative on the blog. They are people out there who can read Italian! If you really want to talk to David Wygant, just send him an email! You can’t expect him to keep track of all the things you
say on this blog. We also don’t need to keep hearing this constant negative commenting from you regardless of what language you translate it to. David Wygant has told you to stop and you keep doing it. I urge you to stop this nonsense now before you lose your priviledge of being able to comment on David Wygant’s blog. For those who wanna know what Tom said in Italian, here it is in plain English:
“Why do not you help me? I’m losing to these bullies that I know in real life, and I Pissin the fuck. What can I do to get them to stop without blocking them (because I want to lose if they do) or ignore them (I also lost my pride, if I do), how can verbally silent? how can I have them verbally? because those assholes will not stop. Lord give me strength to overcome these assholes on facebook, and work, because this fucking rat bastard david wygant does not help me because it is busy (which is not his fault), or is ignoring me (which is not likely, but it may be possible ), oh lord this bastard rat. I am very angry, so do not get mad at me for me calling you names (I do not want to say, I’m just saying that to relieve some anger) this whole thing is like high school, when I was a child, I keep losing and I I know that you can help defeat them. We apologize for cursing, you know I do not want to, but just trying to get the anger out of my chest, and I’m trying to get help from you, because no one else is helping. I also wrote this in Italian so that others can ignore the blog, so do not say that I deliberately be negative. use Google Translator to read this. I advise others not to read it because I do not want to say that are negative or trolling.”
@max,, look up the definition of “internet troll” in urban dictionary.
I’m not calling anyone names, tom just can’t take a joke.
Wow David S, someone else has a different opinion to you
thats definitely a reason to get upset
Just because you think its wrong doesn’t mean that it is. Dating a few people for a short time to work out which one you’d like to go out with and which one you’d like to be friends/whatever with isn’t a bad thing in my eyes. If it was for a long period of time and you’d committed to both of them, then i’d think it’s too far.
Tom, you made me laugh hysterically, thank you. Part me what’s to know what you wrote and part of me doesn’t, oh well. I have to agree with you, the hardest part is the date and whether or not u will get the second date, and so on.
I agree with Paula just be yourself, although rejection is hard especially if it happens often. Why do some girls have the ability to date multiple guys plus get multiple dates while some of us can’t get the multiple dates. There has to be something more than just being yourself too. I almost think strategy has a part to do with it, just a guess though.
For the guys on here – when do you stop dating more than one person and go for that one? Are you open that you are dating other people? When do you expect women to stop dating other people?
dating two people ummm just as long one is not married to you in a serious relationship.
I’m still looking to break the ice and date 1 person. I still have to hold out some hope that it might happen someday.
@John & anyone who wants to read:)
I know what you mean and I’ve also noticed the infinite patience of David regarding this individual… after-all i guess that’s why he created this webpage , for people who need and want, to have access at some insight info.
And yes, as for me, it is a pleasure to be here to read some quality information about dating, and its really fun and a source for confidence.
Now, the problem is that some dudes read one topic from this blog and the next morning they wake up dating experts and they are coming here starting to question this valuable information that David searched, tested and discovered in years.
They don’t listen, don’t try, they like to argue just for the sake of arguing.
And at the end of the day you end up the day having the blog full of pointless discussions and fights instead talking on the subject and developing our social skill.
What I’m trying to say is help the guys, but help the one that really want to be helped…
@Leanne
The thing is, i don’t really know what i want until i see it
But i’m training hard, when the situation comes up, to jump in the moment and be ready to act…at all times
I think tom and Theresa should hook up.
Perfect match!
John i get what your saying lol hows work
Max
If you are referring to me above,(“They don’t listen, don’t try, they like to argue just for the sake of arguing.”) I wanted to explain some of my positions about the blog. I do critique the blog a lot, but it is all in fun, and I try to keep my comments relvant to the subject. I have even had emails from David saying he appreciates “some” of my input, as it keeps the blog interesting, and gets people thinking, and talking, about the subject. I do always recommend people to check out numerous sources of information on any lifechanging subject that they are studying or trying to learn and improve on. I think the blog is very usefull, as well, and is and has helped a lot of guys, (including me) who cannot afford to go with the expense of a boot camp, or even buy his online products. At least the blog helps them decide if David’s techniques, and ideas, are the style of coaching, for them to learn, and then make the decision to spend their money on some of his products.
The “coaches” have been strangely “quiet” for a few days. I guess they are too busy in London, coaching the guys out there, and making the big money, rather than remembering to check out us poor ole non paying blog blokes.
@John ” All the while, crying and complaining about Cyber Bullies.”
Come on man, how would you feel if most of your friends on facebook were bothering you? it’s not like in real life where I could just kick their ass, I can’t do anything to them, and I will not block or ignore them because that is going to make me look weak.
“He comes in here with scrolling b.s. in a different language,”
Why did I write it in another language? because it wasn’t for you, only david, it was written in another language so that you could IGNORE it, don’t give me shit when I clearly said that it was meant for you to ignore.
“Tom, where do you get that I don’t approach women. You never make any sense. I talk about how I approach women all the time.”
My bad, see? I fuck up sometimes, what is it that you have a problem with then? I could tell you my problem is everything after the approach, phone numbers, and getting dates.
@Godfather ” For those who wanna know what Tom said in Italian, here it is in plain English:
“Why do not you help me? I’m losing to these bullies that I know in real life, and I Pissin the fuck. What can I do to get them to stop without blocking them (because I want to lose if they do) or ignore them (I also lost my pride, if I do), how can verbally silent? how can I have them verbally? because those assholes will not stop. Lord give me strength to overcome these assholes on facebook, and work, because this fucking rat bastard david wygant does not help me because it is busy (which is not his fault), or is ignoring me (which is not likely, but it may be possible ), oh lord this bastard rat. I am very angry, so do not get mad at me for me calling you names (I do not want to say, I’m just saying that to relieve some anger) this whole thing is like high school, when I was a child, I keep losing and I I know that you can help defeat them. We apologize for cursing, you know I do not want to, but just trying to get the anger out of my chest, and I’m trying to get help from you, because no one else is helping. I also wrote this in Italian so that others can ignore the blog, so do not say that I deliberately be negative. use Google Translator to read this. I advise others not to read it because I do not want to say that are negative or trolling.””
That makes no sense… did you switch up my words purposely to make me look stupid? now you are trolling and are MISLEADING people, nice try trolling and misleading people but here’s the real one asshole troll:
“Why ain’t you helping me? I’m losing to these cyberbullies that I know in real life, and it pissin me the fuck off. what can I do to get them to stop without blocking them(because I will lose if I do that) or ignoring them(I will also lose my pride if I do that), how can verbally shut them up? how can I verbally own them? because those assholes won’t stop.
Lord give me the strength to get through these assholes on facebook, and from work, because this fuckin rat bastard david wygant won’t help me because he’s busy(which isn’t his fault) or he’s ignoring me(which isn’t likely, but can be possible), oh lord this rat bastard.
I’m very angry, so don’t get mad at me for me calling you names(which I do not mean, I only am saying it to relieve some anger) this whole thing is like high school when I was a kid, I keep losing and I know you can help me defeat them.
I apologize for cursing, you know I do not mean what I said or name called, I was just trying to get the anger out of m ychest, and I’m trying to get help from you, because no one else is helping. I also wrote this in Italian so that others can ignore it on the blog, so do they not say that I deliberately was negative. use Google Translator to read this. I advise others to not read it because I do not want them to say that I was negative or trolling.”
^That is what I wrote, Fuck you @Godfather you 2-bit rat bastard for switching up my words, or putting it in google translate(Because that actually gives you the translate with BAD grammar and with the words in the wrong places)
@Bob What you said about the coaches not being on here makes sense, I was just about to ask why Shogo hasn’t been posting his Friday blogs.
@John Why is it that I, a thin (not super skinny like I used to be, thank testosterone), tall guy am not dating, but my much shorter, fatter (I don’t just mean larger) friends I see dating HOT girls? ‘cuz those girls must really like thin guys. Looks must be everything.
@tom,, ok, I’m good at this type of thing. When these guys on facebook said,, he’s trying to get into your pants,, the best response would’ve been something along the lines of,
”
“yep,, ya caught me,, watch out ladies,, I’m a player,,
They probably would’ve stopped right there,, since you let them know you got mad,, they will never let up.
@tsali,, I never said being thin or skinny was everything. Stop reading too much into what I said. ,, I said more women will find you physically attractive.
You guys do what you want..
I’m gonna try my best to get skinny again. It’s when I had my most success by far.
@bob,, they just get mad if you don’t accept everything said by the coaches, like it’s gospel.
@max,, yeah, how DARE someone question the superior intellect of the wygant coaches… Having my own opinion, just WHO the hell do I think I am?
David S.
A bit harsh. It sounds like something else is goin on and u need to vent.
I disagree with you. If you have 2 or more great options, u gotta go for a few test drives before you buy into a relationship w/just 1.
saying “worst blog ever!” is silly
John
How did you come up with 20%? did u just pull that number out of your ass?
what about just asking any women. “hey do you prefer skinny guys or guys w/ meat on their bones?”
at least test out your ridiculous assumptions to see if they are right or wrong
also im sure there’s alot more that goes into physically attraction than just skinny or not skinny.
women aren’t that simple
John, if you’re unhappy with your body I totally support going out and eating right and exercising. You’ll feel a lot better about yourself and the world.
Getting into better shape was what really started me on having a better outlook on life. The better outlook on life is what will get women really attracted to you.
David S., how is it wrong? There’s no infidelity because there’s no commitment. You’re just getting to know people. Listen, dating is fun and special but it’s not this magical thing where you meet someone and you date them once and you know you’re going to be with them forever.
You and I suffer from the “Sir Lancelot” condition where we think if we’re the most pure and righteous then the women will be ours. And if we’re not pure we’ll lose everyting. Life isn’t like that and doesn’t need to be so stark. You can date more than one person and still be 100% respectful to each person.
And remember, in all those stories about knights in the old days, they never got the girl. In fact the point for them was to never get the girl but rather to suffer for them.
@joe a,, yes, as a matter of fact,, I DID just pull that out of my ass. I reached up there, and 20% just came right out! (along with some other stuff I won’t mention.)
Look, it was just a guestimation.,, I figured roughly 1 in 5 women would consider a guy who is thin to be attractive, just based on that alone.
You will never hear a woman say,, “im wish, someday, I could meet a great,, short, fat guy.”
Oh,yeah, actually I’m thinking it’s much more than 1 in 5. I think I was being conservative, with 20%.
@John “@joe a,, yes, as a matter of fact,, I DID just pull that out of my ass. I reached up there, and 20% just came right out! (along with some other stuff I won’t mention.)”
Now you’re just trolling with excuses.
“You will never hear a woman say,, “im wish, someday, I could meet a great,, short, fat guy.””
Proves that you either don’t have a social life, or don’t go outside, you listen to the media too much, that’s what magazines and movies tell you, in real life women just want a man who looks normal, being fat is normal, being skinny is normal. unless you have a disfigurement like me, then there is no excuse. also guess what? not all women want a “meatball” or “juice head(steroid) gorilla” that’s jersey shore bullshit.
@ Pat & Joe A.: I’m not mad at all. I didn’t post anything angry. I didn’t question anyone else’s opinion and there’s nothing else going on with me. I think its funny that I have this different opinion and Joe A. thinks something must be wrong with me lol. Like I said, its just simply wrong. Morally wrong but if you want to do it go ahead.
@tom,, do you understand what TROLLING is?
(hint,, spamming a blog with paragraph after paragraph of garbage written in a foreign language falls under trolling. )
Everyone attacking me,, why are you all so against being healthy, and improving your appearance? Do you guys like thin, hour glass shaped women, or beechball shaped obese women? Think about that before you keep attacking me.
@Theresa:
What should a woman do to show she is interested? Here’s a bunch of things:
-Show a curiosity in knowing more about a guy, not by interrogating, but through enthusiasm. It’s all about how you do it.
-Offer to pay by the second or third date. Take the initiative to ask the guy out on a date by the third or fourth date.
-Smile.
-Contribute to the conversation.
-Get back to the guy if he texts you or emails you sooner rather than later. The amount of elapsed time says it all.
-Accept his date offers. If you can’t make it, don’t just say you can’t make it. Suggest an alternative day, or make up for it by inviting him out.
I’m sure some guys would be scared off by this. If so, you probably don’t want guys like that (buy many women likely will continue to pursue these players/unavailable men). Most decent guys would love this, but they are few and far between. They have probably been hurt before, so you show them your interest, and they pick up your cues.
Oh, another thing tom,, this blog is here to promote David Wygant products, bootcamps, and seminars,,, not to hold your hand, walk you through life, and protect you from cyber bullies.
I think guys like healthy women just like women like healthy men. The shape of someone is really personal taste. It’s like ice cream. We all love it, but we all love different flavours.
And for the record, blaming deformities and other physical characteristics are just ways to stay afraid and stay in your comfort zone. It lets you off the hook from being happy and lets you be scared.
@Theresa, @PaulaR
In response to “I’m never sure of how much I like someone, how compatible I feel we are or if it’s a right fit until we go out a few times.”
I would say that unless a woman lets a guy know about themselves, it won’t help to keep going out and observing whether he does this, does that, or likes this or likes that. Many people can adapt. Adapting is important to a long term relationship success. So a woman has to make it easy for a guy. If you like to do certain things, tell him. This will give him options to respond. You like to dance? Let him know. Maybe he will take you out dancing next time. But give him options, because that may be the one thing that he is poor at. You like Thai food? Tell him and maybe he will choose a Thai restauarant. Better yet, if you like to do something (example hiking or biking), suggest it or ask him out to such a date.
All too often people sit across from each other drinking coffee or eating at crappy restaurants date after date. How does anyone figure anything out about interest or compatibility doing that?
@interndan,, I highly disagree Dan,, just like you will never hear a girl say she she is looking for a short, fat, guy,,
You’ll never hear a decent looking guy say,, “man,, I’d really like to find a blimp with feet.”
Oh,, I almost forgot, (joe’s avatar reminded me of this.) ,,
This is unrelated, but when I drove past the Terry Thompson farm this morning, I was looking up in the trees for a monkey.
Has anyone heard, did they ever find that missing wolf, or monkey?
(there were police in the median across from the farm, so I’m guessing they are still looking?
Tom,
I hate to break it to you but your are the one who is trolling on this blog. You are pissing some people off here on this blog with your constant bickering and childish behavior. Please stop! I think you need to go see a psychologist/counselor and talk about your problems there. You have some serious issues you need to handle and I don’t recommend you start dating until after you start working on yourself.
John your so funny
John, you’re afraid of putting yourself out there so you justify your fear by relying on ugliness.
And yes, people actually say “I want a blimp on legs.” Check out the scores of “BBW” porn and dating sites. Every woman you see gets masturbated about.
Bullshit Dan,, I put myself out there all the time… But after I approach women, I don’t see any signs of attraction.
I think a lot of people here confuse approaching, with creating attraction. I think it takes a combination of looks, AND technique, to be able to create attraction after an approach.
Oh,, but I can tell you this Dan,, I saw signs of attraction when I used to be thin.
I’ll give you, I may have been more confident when I was thinner, but that was because I knew I had the level of fitness that women wanted.
@Godfather, Your mother.
I only wrote TWO negative things, 1 thing to David in italian so he can help me and one thing to that troll @Godfather because he mislead people.
That is it, it is done, move on, I want to talk about different things now. if you reply to me about ANYTHING related to my past negativity than you are trolling, that stuff was yesterday. the cyberbullying on facebook ended this morning when I told them I would call the cops, and they stopped.
@Intern Dan John is making excuses by calling me a troll, forget about calling me names, worry about your own problem John, and that is not putting yourself out there. you generalize taste and sex, because you probably never had sex. everyone has different taste, just because your picky , doesn’t mean everyone else is.
So it’s either John is trolling or he’s just countering the help with excuses.
and by the way @Dan… you… you’re good!
@John = Schizophrenic, he’s making no sense.
John, you answered your question. You were CONFIDENT when you were thinner.
You put yourself out there now and you’re so afraid that you’ll be rejected because of your looks and that it kills any chance of attraction. Confidence is the key.
Just be yourself and confident in who you are. You’re a good guy! You just need to believe it.
Hahahaha,, shit Tom,, you really are the dummest goddamn, worthless piece of shit I have ever heard of.
Go hide from your cyber bullies you 35 year old little bug eyed reject.
@Intern Dan is the man! You doc… you’re good, yes yes, you’re good!(Deniro Voice lol)
Tom and John, ignore each other. Let’s keep this civil.
BTW John, who are your NFL picks this week? Just watched the Jets come from behind. I’m about to watch the Raiders.
@John “Hahahaha,, shit Tom,, you really are the dummest goddamn, worthless piece of shit I have ever heard of.
Go hide from your cyber bullies you 35 year old little bug eyed reject.”
Proof that john is a troll^
and don’t say what I said(@John = Schizophrenic, he’s making no sense.) is trolling because what I said was a joke, we know you ain’t schizophrenic, you knew it was a joke, yet you have the audacity to say PERSONALLY things about me that ain’t even funny.
You know, I’m not going to even insult you back, I’m going to be the more mature one here and not feed into your Trolling. because John you just proved to the world that you are a troll.
Hey Tom and John,
If you guys want to be skinny once again and be able to attract the woman of your dreams, then you need to look like this guy here:
http://www.yourworldreport.com/wild_world/dance_to_honor_michael.htm
@Intern Dan, When did I insult John? I gave a few wisecrack jokes and he insulted me about PERSONALLY things, I tried to help that rat bastard(and yes I did, I told him what David says, when you approach, get out of your head and just go with it)
so there ain’t no way I’m wrong here, because I did NOTHING to John, a few wisecracks and good advice, and he insults me PERSONALLY.(I never insulted him personally, NEVER.)
Tom,, you’re not worth my time. Everyone here, everyone from your past, everyone from your life,, even everyone on Facebook hates you tom, and just wants you to go away.
The people you wrongfully fired,
The little girl who’s feet you stomped on,
Poor maybel,, who’s window you tried to sneak through, and molest,
And all the women who looked at your deformed, odd shaped, ugly little head, and told you, you are too ugly,,
They all hate you Tom.
Sorry Dave, but I’ve had it with his b.s..
This message is addressed to Tom:
This is your one and only warning. If you continue to comment in this behavior, then you will be permanently banned from commenting on these blogs.
SO jOHN,Hows work or are u not woking today
Just sent an email to David about John.
Had enough of this trolling from @john, had to tell David what happened in full detail, provided source of how John started all of this. I tried being nice, gave him advice, I did throw wise cracks, but those jokes have nothing to do with him personally.
John threw PERSONAL insults, not me.(Not even ONCE) he is a troll, plain and simple.
I’m done with that troll… anyways, @Theresa, you never let me check you out on facebook, I don’t know why you think you’re not good looking, in your picture you look great.
I can’t help but feel that John is somewhat hypocritical when calling tom a trole, he has said before that tom’s constantly trying to take the blog comments off course is annoying and inflammatory, while on the other hand he’s carrying on personal conversations with Kristin through the comments, why don’t the 2 of you use private email or IMs to chat about work and stuff instead of spamming the blog with “So how was work today” 4 or 5 times a day.
I compleatly agree with those who say more recent blogs have moved away from how to meet women to relationship advice, for those who are already confidant dating, nothing wrong with that just not why I follow Wygant.
@David (dose that even mean anything) have you thought of removing the comments section and creating a forum/message board system to better manage the more generic discussions that seem to plague the comments more and more of late.
Great day in London.
I skimmed the comments and I see that Tom is acting up again.
Heres the deal.
I have a members site where guys can ask questions from coaches and get that one on one coaching that they desire.
I love posting the blogs for all of you, but if i had to answer every question, I would have no life at all.
I make myself very available to people and I do so because I love what I do.
But to expect me to sit here and answer every question that comes in is crazy
Go to any other blog and all you will see if comments and nothing from the person who wrote the blog.
And another question to all of you.
Do you feel that Toms negativity is ruining the blog or do you just read the blog and ignore the comments.
So feedback is always great.
Its late I am in London coaching a great group of guys and I hope all of you had a great weekend!!
@David Wygant “Do you feel that Toms negativity is ruining the blog or do you just read the blog and ignore the comments.”
WHAT? me? it’s John that’s trolling today. Theresa likes me, Paula likes me, Dan likes me, it’s john that started ALL of this, he insulted my personal life, I have NEVER insulted ANYONE’s personal life.
And come on David… what’s wrong with being negative about myself? at least I’m not insulting personal things like John does.
@David Tom is not ruining the blog, because anybody can skip his comments and not read them. Personally I get a kick out of his comments, when I read them I almost burst out laughing. But its great to hear your spreading the love out in London, I know you’re having fun!
Back on topic, who here has dated to women at the same time? and if you have, what is the most fun out of dating two women? and what is the most difficult thing when dating two women at once?
PS.. this is kind of off topic. What is the best way to get rid of my shyness and be more open with everybody? Also, what is the best way to get rid of negative thoughts?
I have noticed that I have a lot of negative thoughts holding me back, and I need some help getting rid of them and start having fun.
David, I am glad that you and your clients are having a great time, and you are helping them with their problems with attracting and retaining a nice woman in their lives.
On the subject you raised…. I believe this BOB GUY is a detriment to the blog and issues. Get rid of HIM and every thing will be just fine…
@David Wygant:
I think these blogs have been great but a lot of these negative comments are ruining the discussion, especially when it becomes offensive and people start arguing against each other. I like to read people’s comments to get to see other people’s opinions, but not when it turns into this kind of behavior. From looking at the blogs, I can see that some people are fed up with what is being said and may not want to participate in the discussion if it continues. I don’t need to be calling out names. I think you know as well as I do who is responsible for causing the hostility. I only hope that people can just get along on these blogs and stop acting immaturely.
Quotes from tom :
” you generalize taste and sex, because you probably never had sex.”
” @John = Schizophrenic, he’s making no sense. “.
Now,, who insulted who first???
And then the whole itialian post above it.
Me and others were having a discussion, that didn’t involve tom, and tom kept interjecting with his b.s., and his insults,, and you people are going to attack ME for finally having enough of it?
This blog has become a joke.
Ignore what you do not want to read and read what you desire.
Tune out the comments from the pople who you do not respect!
You know whats funny.
Bob hater has the same picture as Bob….hmmmmmm
David,He has had to much to drink.You know he loves to fuck with you lol
Hey David Wygant,
Do want to look like this sexy guy:
http://www.yourworldreport.com/wild_world/dance_to_honor_michael.htm
@John “” you generalize taste and sex, because you probably never had sex.”
” @John = Schizophrenic, he’s making no sense. “.
Now,, who insulted who first???
And then the whole itialian post above it.
Me and others were having a discussion, that didn’t involve tom, and tom kept interjecting with his b.s., and his insults,, and you people are going to attack ME for finally having enough of it?
This blog has become a joke.”
One question, did I insult you personally?
We all know you aren’t a virgin because you said it before, so when I said “you probably never had sex” you KNEW I was joking, and either way, it isn’t true because you aren’t a virgin, are you?
“” @John = Schizophrenic, he’s making no sense. “.” = Another joke, I’m no therapist, I can’t diagnose people, so you knew it was a JOKE.
However lets see what you said you little…
Quotes from John:
“Tom,, you’re not worth my time. Everyone here, everyone from your past, everyone from your life,, even everyone on Facebook hates you tom, and just wants you to go away.
The people you wrongfully fired,
The little girl who’s feet you stomped on,
Poor maybel,, who’s window you tried to sneak through, and molest,
And all the women who looked at your deformed, odd shaped, ugly little head, and told you, you are too ugly,,
They all hate you Tom.”
The part about me stomping a little girl… that isn’t funny because I NEVER did that, the girl was older, and I was a little kid I didn’t know better.
And I never tried to molest Maybell, she used to come to MY window too, ever see Dawsons creek? we used to intimidate that, she actually snuck into my window more than I did heres to watch the creek.
However everything ELSE in that quote you said was true about my life, so that’s personal.
Now the next quote from @John is VERY personal because all of it is true. the previous quote wasn’t all personal because most of it was jokes, however this next one is a personal insult:
“Hahahaha,, shit Tom,, you really are the dummest goddamn, worthless piece of shit I have ever heard of.
Go hide from your cyber bullies you 35 year old little bug eyed reject.”
That is PERSONAL, that wasn’t a joke because that IS true you rat bastard.
So David I PROVED that I NEVER and I swear to the grave that I NEVER insulted anyone on personal things, @John did that little…
Anyways, I am moving on… So Again… @Theresa where can I see your pictures? because I do not believe that you are ugly, your profile picture looks sexy.
David,
I pretty much just skim the blog too….there’s no time to read long blocks of nonsense. I think there’s more than one negative guy….it’s more like several. Some of the guys pointing fingers actually stir up the fight or escalate themselvs.
As for dating multiple women, I don’t think that applies to most of the readers….rich people problems.
And as far as skinny, what are we talking about? Leo in his Titanic days…or Orlando Bloom…now that would be what women consider hot skinny… but, not that guy in She’s out of my league. Lanky, lean…. There’s a penchant to want to be politically correct here….but certain shapes are attractive both ways. I disagree with the many flavors point…. it’s been found that certain traits are universally found to be attractive.
Hey David,
I noticed that on your website, your No Excuse product is only available under woman’s products. What’s up with that? Is this product no longer a guy’s thing?
Dave, I love your stuff. Especially that video you did on being a natural. Once you get it, you can just live it and not have to think about it.
I don’t write a journal with notes about my friends in my life, so I don’t see a need for one with dating because they are essentially the same thing. A person in my life that I spend time with. The key here is to pay attention to what they’re saying. Actually listen to them, if they’re worth your time you will be interested in what they’re saying.
@john when u say everyone here does not like tom will u rephrase that for i hope u r not including me…this is what i read tom says something and u come in like a jealous person scared tom is getting the best of u…then tom chimes in…my email box is beginning to look like dave’s email…hey i try to get along with people including u and tom and do not include me in on this for my opinions are different…i love everyone
oh john i forgot i am on face book as well and tom is not on my face book page leave me out when u say everyone on face book and get this my family and friends do not know who tom or u r.
Hey Dave
Hope u r enjoying ur trip to London…i usually just read over what people have to say…just treat it like it is my face book page if i read everything that is there i would be spending all day and night…hey enjoy the blog and have a GREAT time in London…
I know that it’s possible to skip what you don’t want to read, but honestly, it’s a huge hassle having to scroll past a page-long post that I have no interest in. It would also be nice if we could try to post only one post at a time. I know I’m somewhat hypocritical here, as I’ve posted multiple posts in a row, and I can even be long winded at times, but hopefully that isn’t the pattern of my posts.
Regarding the question at hand, I’ve never really had a hard time keeping things straight when dating multiple people, but I also made sure to keep it light and clearly uncommitted. It’s not really something that’s a goal of mine though. I don’t feel like more of a man just because I had two different girls over for dinner in a week. The way I look at it, if you like someone, ask them out. If that means I just date one person, that’s fine. If I click with multiple girls, I’ll date multiple girls. If I don’t meet a girl I click with, I’m just fine not dating. I’ve found that I date less as my standards go up though.
@David S, I’m not sure I understand why you think dating multiple people is wrong. I mean, I definitely see being in a committed boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with multiple people as wrong, but if you meet two girls you like, are you really obligated to pick one based on practically nothing, date her until you see whether it turns into a relationship or not, and if not, then hope the other girl has stuck around? As long as you keep the communication open and honest about the fact that you aren’t exclusive or committed yet, what’s the harm in seeing another person?
We have the majority of the blog commenters saying it’s that rat bastard @John’s fault, and it is, he provoked me which was unnecessary. all I will say to you David is do not turn a blind eye to this, you know and everyone else here knows John provokes me then says I mess up the blog.
I do not in anyway mess up the blog, I make it better by starting positive conversations(yes they are positive don’t say they are negative, John turns them negative… and you know how it’s positive? it’s positive that I’m TRYING to get help, I’m telling my life, getting it off my chest. that’s not negative, that’s positive.) and alot of people here seems to not have a problem with me, some actually kinda like me
So when you ask, if I’m ruining the blog, the answer is, undoubtedly, unbiased, factually with certainly and honesty… no, I don’t.
Case Closed.
I find it difficult to ignore Tom’s comments, and any post that I see starting with @Tom I have to skip those ones. I really feel as though he’s completely avoiding the mindset you are trying to teach about self-respect in dating.
I will say though, I will try to be @John’s friend, but he keeps bullying me, so I do not know if it is possible.
@Tsali see that is a productive comment, you are right sometimes I don’t have self respect, but I can’t help to think those things because some of which, is true. that’s why I’m here, to correct the problem, with help of David, The Doc aka Intern Dan, Collin, etc.
@John, more to your point, 1 in 5 may find you attractive enough just because you’re thin, but what does that get you, really? She doesn’t find you unattractive, but you’ve still got to showcase your personality and skills and click with her.
You never know when your skills are going to make you look impressive, either. I hiked a mountain Saturday, and when we got to the top, one of the guys ended up dropping his cell phone down a crevasse. I was able to shimmy down and get it for him because I’m good at rock climbing (and because I lack that part of my brain that tells you that things are a bad idea). Maybe all your truck driving skills will be super useful that one time you expertly avoid having a wreck while driving some friends to a bar, only to have some of the women tell all the single women there about “NASCAR John” and your super driving skills.
Oh Sandra,,, tom knows what I’m talking about, and so do you.
He knows I’m talking about his Facebook “cyber bullies.”
Tom can say he did nothing all he wants. He attacks me every chance he gets. More people call him a troll than me, and he doesn’t (usually) attack them.
Ex. Godfather asked him to stop in post 57
Godfather again in post 89
Blog administrator asked him to stop in post 105.
All of tom’s posts are up there in plain engligh, (oh that’s right, there’s a big trolling rant up there in Spanish.) He can take anything I say about him, and turn it around and make it about me all he wants. That’s all he does. He can lie all he wants. Just read down his posts. He brings nothing but hate to this blog,, and I’m sick of it.
And you guys want to blame me?
I was here WAY before tom, and this was always the best blog on the net. Until tom came here with his bs.
You guys have fun with the Tom show. It’s not fun for me anymore.
@collin,, yeah, I was just talking about purely physical attraction. Ignoring all other factors.
Like I said time and time again,, you guys do what you want. I know what I am going to work on.
@David Wygant @Everyone else: I don’t mind Tom’s posts, I guess. I dislike how personally insulting he can be to some of the other posters and I wish there could be more civility involved (i.e. I’m really sick of how every other word coming out of his mouth is “rat bastard”, the Maryanne thing and so on and so forth).
However, I do think he is starting to at least recognize that he needs help and is therefore becoming somewhat more receptive to it. He’s constantly praising our wise Intern Dan and asking for help, and maybe eventually he can be helped. I don’t think he needs regulation, and although he can get a little irritating, I enjoy trying to help him. Who knows? Maybe something will get through, and through a group effort we can bash some sense into him!
@John: I know you guys are feuding constantly, but maybe try to bury the hatchet with Tom. I think it might be a good idea to let go, so you can both start fresh. He will stop bugging you if you stop calling him a troll, and I think you’re much stronger than he is. I think it’s on you to stop this, because Tom is a very, very defensive and insecure person, so he will stop at nothing to “defend” himself and belittle those who disagree with him, or say anything he could take as insulting.
@Tom: I hope this works out and that you can keep posting here, and more than anything I hope we can help you. Please try to keep things a little less insulting to people, particularly David, as he cannot help you with every little dilemma you encounter. His job is to post the blogs, to help his members, to teach his boot camps and to have one-on-ones with paying clients. It is not to provide these services to every Tom, Dick and Harry who has problems sometimes. If you’re unsatisfied with the type of service you’re getting for free on this blog, I encourage you to sign up for a membership so you can get the attention you desire. Negativity – specifically calling David things like “rat bastard” won’t get you anywhere, and it will just cause David, his other coaches like Shogo and Intern Dan and us fellow blog-readers to lose respect for you, and I know that you don’t want that.
If you’ve had a bad day and you feel down, sure, be negative, but only in the sense that it’s okay to feel bad about what’s happened to you. Don’t target others for not helping you out in a speedy fashion. If you really need quick help right away, call a distress hotline, visit a doctor or find someone else you can trust to talk to. A blog is not necessarily the best way to get a quick response or to get exactly what you need. However, it’s a good outlet for your feelings and a good way to get many others to weigh in on what you’re going through. Make sure you take this for what it is, and fully understand the capabilities and disadvantages of it.
I believe you can be helped, Tom. I hope you can sort things out for yourself and I hope you can listen so that you don’t get removed or moderated.
@Theresa: Just wanted to let you know that I really admire your attitude! I feel like today your attitude has been growing better and stronger and I really like that!!
You are a lovely, beautiful person, and I really hope you can see that in yourself. Keep up the confidence and good spirits, and you’ll get what you want!! 
okay comment here: there is one rule i have on my face book page and it is this and the same rule applies when i am on Dave’s blog…Welcome to my face book page we are one big happy family here. Take a seat as though u r home if u feel like commenting go ahead. Even if u find someone here u want to be a friend with contact them. Enjoy my face book u may learn something about me in the long run. If u r here to browse feel free… Love n Hugs to everyone and may God keep u in…and another thing when a person enters and wants to argue with one of my friends or family members i will kindly ask them to do it on their page. I do realize that this is Dave’s blog when I enter I give him the same respect as I expect from him. If I see something on my face book page and want to comment then i do if not i would not waste my time or even visit their site…so leave me out of ur issues and please when u say everyone do not include me either here or on face book.
tom
I know that u do not know me that well i happen to be one of David Wygant’s bloggers i go way back with him. When I first started blogging i know that i may have sounded like you but in my own terminology. So i disappeared…yes i did have those as well that wanted me off the blog but you know something when david opened up his other site there were those who would not have joined it because of me. i remember some of his old coaches…i came back over here and have since cooled my jets and came back here in a different frame of mind. I do not mind reading your comments for we all have a right to let off steam for i do that myself. then i face up to and go from there. tom all in all…i still love you regardless what anyone says and hang in there…
@ Daniel
No excuses has been removed.
THe self love audio is now with fearless code.
And whats your excuse is now with 20 ways.
We changed some things around and added some great new stuff!!!
Thanks David for the heads up!
I don’t have a problem with dating/sleeping with multiple girls at the same time while getting to know them.
I guess I’m just worried they automatically assume that we are exclusive if we are sleeping together. In my eyes there is no reason to be exclusive until you are both saying those 3 words..
I don’t tell them I’m seeing other people at the same time unless they ask.. but they never do lol
Is this being a player??
@Eddie: I don’t think it does. You don’t sound like a player because you’re no playing anyone! If it’s while you’re getting to know them, you don’t necessarily have to be upfront unless a) someone asks to be exclusive and you don’t want to be, b) you’re trying to cover your bases to avoid that, c) someone asks, or d) you feel better including it when you start to date someone exclusively. I do think it’s a better policy to tell them, just from my experience, because that way people understand the parameters of your relationship with them, so there’s little room for confusion or hurt feelings. While it isn’t your responsibility to tell them, it’s a good idea, because it allows you to define your relationship with someone, so they tell you when they want to change the nature of the relationship. Otherwise, it could lead to crazy behavior if they think you’re dating them exclusively and you aren’t, or find out randomly,or are the jealous type. It’s easier to avoid drama!!
tom, thank you for the compliment, and yes i do have a facebook account, theresa kosara, if you need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message.
paula, thank you for the compliment i was not expecting that, and I think you are a great person as well, much stronger than myself, and you are a great role model, thanks for your help, i appreciate it.
the videos i posted were not meant to insult anyone, if i offended anyone, i apologize, that was not my intention.
To all those who feel its ok to date multiple people at once, I assume you’d be fine with your partners dating others at the same time?
Rob,
Having your partner dating multiple people is entirely different from dating somebody you just recently met. Your partner is considered as somebody who you have began a relationship with. Now if you are in an open relationship with your partner, then it is okay to continue seeing other people, but you have to make that clear with your partner that you do not want to be dating exclusively. As for dating somebody in the beginning, it is okay for both individuals to be dating other people because you are seeing who is a good match for you. You have to decide later down the road when you form a relationship with this person whether or not you want to be in an open relationship. There is nothing wrong with any of those choices. Just ask yourself what do you prefer to be in.
If a girl was dating another guy,other then me…i’m obviously not her priority. I would say goodbye too that girl..i’m not part of a competition…i have more self value then that