I’m a firm believer that whoever asks someone out on a date, should pay for that date. If you’re a woman and you ask a guy out on a date, then you pay for that date.
It’s 2010. Pay for the date. You asked him out. He didn’t ask you out, so he doesn’t need to pay.
Now I’m sure that there are women reading this right now thinking, “Wait a second. Men are always supposed to pay for the first date.” Yes they are — if they do the asking.
If you’re a man and you ask a woman out — you tell her where to meet you or you tell her where you’re going — then you better for the date. You better pay for the full date.
That does not mean that you pay for dinner and have her leave the tip. That does not mean that you buy the drinks and she pays for dinner.
When you ask someone out, then you had better be prepared to pay for that date. If you can’t afford where you’re taking them, find another place.
Always date within your budget. That’s so important. So many people try to impress someone with a date they cannot afford.
Then when it comes down to the end of the date, the woman is getting her car from the valet and you leave her to pay for it. This guys, is also part of what you should be paying for if you are paying for the date. If you don’t, she will think that you’re cheap for not paying for the whole date.
The bottom line is that when you ask someone out, you are responsible for paying for that date, including all the activities that go on that evening. It’s that simple. It really is.
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Great post,
In Amsterdam, people have have a tendency to go “dutch treat”, where everyone pays for their own stuff. I experience this often. I meet up somewhere with a person, be it male or female, for some drinks, and I have to pay my own stuff.
Not that I care though, because I always walk around with some money, just in case.
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I think the man should always pay. That’s a rule of thumb I’ve been following.
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Farley, in Amsterdam, do they also go dutch treat when ordering some of those tasty pot brownies or space cakes?
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Well said. Much better than the podcast last wed. Way I see it, the other person usually doesn’t have a say in where theyre going if you ask them out. So its only fair for them not to worry about paying.
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Totally agree, a man is supposed to pay if he asked her out. And it’s not just a woman’s opinion. When I have a business meeting with men I always pay my part. If I ask my fiancee out, I pay for both of us.
But dates are different. I think we’d better stick to the ground rules, otherwise we won’t have any romance in life.
By the way, in Russia, a man would be offended with my attempts to pay for myself.
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Howe,
Yes they do
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I wholeheartedly agree.
Earlier this week I addressed this in a post on my own site (including linking to David’s Don’t Be Cheap….) – reading the words are great and to have it reiterated by a man’s deep voice…
- guys – hope you are getting it!!! First impressions count!
Tatiana and Farley – thanks for sharing about other places in the world. In Indonesia also – it is almost unheard of that a woman would pay!
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David,
Didn’t you just say in a recent podcast that men should pay for the 1st date and not be cheap?
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Its so funny…women have been fighting for equal rights across the board, from voting, equal pay and everything else under the sun but when it comes to dating they want to be treated like little girls.
“Yeah, the man always pays!” Hogwash! I agree with David, if I ask her out then I pay but if she does the inviting then you wanna be my equal then you pay the whole tab.
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You know that there’s still a minimum amount of women who will ask a guy out on a first date.
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Hey David,
I had always believed in doing low-cost first dates to avoid the cash issue. Sure, I’ll pay for small things like her coffee or frozen yogurt, but it’s not dinner. What do you think about the argument that paying for the first date is a bad thing? Doesn’t it send a message that you’re trying to buy her? Some women (I’m in college so we’re all broke) also don’t seem to like having the guy pay for the first date if it’s dinner. It creates a feeling of debt (cash or otherwise).
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Sorry, I just think this is horrible advice. Guys always ask the woman out first, that’s just the way it works. There are rare exceptions to the rule, that are just that, exceptions. In reality, most women will just stay home wondering why the guy didn’t ask them out. This is basically the same as saying “Guys pay on the first date”. It’s only mincing words.
Personally, I don’t think anyone should even go on dates unless they’re “dating”.
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Jack
Are you a guy who lives by all rules.
Think for a moment.
Your hanging with a girl and she says i want to take you out.
What do you do?
I never said this was a first date but it seems people love to twist the words around a bit.
I love when a woman takes me out but as i have written in the past a man should ask her out for the first date and pay.
Going forward its all equal if thats how the dynamic chooses to be.
There are a lot of women that love taking a real man out for dinner:)
Thanks for posting and always enjoy seeing all opinions.
Have a great 4th Jack
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Jeff
Yes men pay and ask her out on date one you are correct as i stated above i was talking about dates in general and never said date one.
Have a great 4th Jeff!
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