Who Came Up With These Terms?
January 5, 2010 
13 Comments
It’s funny. Why are so many sex terms so bizarre?
Who came up with the term “blow job?” Isn’t it really a suck job? Why the hell did they ever call it a blow job?
A blow job is really a suck job. I never understood that. Can I have a blow job, please? Well, fine. Then take your pants down and I’ll just blow on your penis. I mean it’s like so many of these terms make no sense at all.
Take the term “going down on a woman.” Going down on a woman is really going to her feet, as that is where down is.
How about cunnilingus. It sounds like you’re talking about an Irish woman named Connie Lingus. I never understood how Connie Lingus got the term for oral sex on a woman named after her.
What about a “hand job?” Now this one actually kind of makes sense, because it is the woman’s hand doing a job.
Isn’t sex, however, supposed to be fun? Why are there so many things sex-related that have the word “job” associated with them?
It’s also funny how when they are things a woman does they are called jobs, but not in the terms describing what men do. Women give hand jobs and blow jobs. They make them seem like awful things.
So when a woman goes down on a man it’s called a blow job, but yet when a man goes down on a woman it’s just called ‘going down on her.’ It almost makes it seem like the woman is being forced to do it.
Isn’t it just as fun for a woman to go down on a guy as it is for a guy to go down on a woman. Now I know there are some women who do consider that a job, but it’s probably the same percentage as the percentage of men who find going down on a woman to be a job.
What about the term “making out?” What are you making out exactly? I mean, isn’t this just tonsil hockey, kissing or swapping spit (all of which terms make more sense than ‘making out’)? It makes no sense to me.
Then there’s the famous “feel her up.” Alright, you’re feeling her up where? I mean, just like I said about going down, wouldn’t the “up” really be the top of her head? So, really, aren’t you just touching the top of her head if you ‘feel her up?’
Another term I love is “banging her.” You’re banging her? Where does the banging come into play? How do you bang somebody?
Banging is the sound a gun makes. Your dick doesn’t really go bang when it’s inside a woman. Granted, there is the sound of flesh pounding against flesh. So, really, ‘pounding her’ would be more accurate.
Sex terms are sometimes outright hilarious. Take the term “f*^k the shit out of her.” Really, you did? Who cleaned up the mess afterwards? I mean, that is disgusting. I hope you had the Charmin next to you at the time.
How about “she rode the hell out of me?” Really? I didn’t know you were a devil who had hell inside of you. So when you say she rode the hell out of you, did horns come out of the top of your head while she was doing it? Too bad she can’t ride the heaven out of you, so that you could be smiling and happy when she’s on top of you.
Then there’s having sex “doggie style.” About the last thing I want to think about when I am entering someone from behind is two dogs f^*king.
Welcome to the world of funny sex terms. I’m sure I missed a few, but this was a good tour down funny sex terminology lane.
‘fucking’ is pretty universal… blue collar and I like it!
Oh man! I loved the part with “fucked the shit out of her” That just cracked me up so much! It just sounds so ridiculous most of them!
I always thought “bumping uglies” was pretty funny.
F***ing the shit out of her! That’s got to be the funniest!
So next time your in London and someone says
yeah I banged the shit out of her your reply can be
“charmin” lol.
LOL!
I was talking to a girl online a few years ago, she said “Why is it called a blow job when you suck? Am I doing it wrong”?
wow… never knew how ridiculous sex terms were. hahahahahaha…
I gotta laugh at the “f**k shit out of her”. take it literally… EWWWWWW… :p that is disgusting!
That’s the world of sex terms.
“When they engage in sexual intercourse, the bed bangs against the wall and keeps us awake” probably got shortened to “They’re banging the bed against the wall,” which probably got shortened to “They’re banging” and then “I’m gonna bang her.” Either that, or it comes from cavemen banging a girl on the head with a club to knock her out every time he got horny.
LOL Collin!
I actually have another explanation. If bang is the sound of gun fire… well if you are fucking a girl hard and your ball sack is spanking against her ass while you are fucking her, it makes a “bang bang bang”.
That’s totally gun fire sound, isn’t it?!?
Well, I’ve only shot a 12 gauge, and nothing in sex has ever sounded quite like that. Perhaps I’m doing it wrong.
What about non-sexual terms?
How did people decide that “tagging” was better than “vandalism”?
How about the “light” terms for being not buzzed, but grossly drunk?
How about “cranky” for someone – someone well over 4 years old – who is simply being an asshole?
I know there are other terms used that have one thing in common: they minimize unethical, asshole behavior to make it sound like a minor thing, no big deal. At Washington State University, where I have seen the rudest students in the country, both rigging someone’s car to explode, and throwing a beer bottle onto the football field and hitting a reporter on the head with it, were explained away as “people just want to have fun”.
“Blow job” is also in Bulgarian. I’ve also always wondered why they call it that way
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It’s probably because the when the mouth is “blowing” something, it is in the correct shape. However, when the mouth is “sucking” something, it has it’s lips all pursed up. Thus, “blowing” would seem like the correct mouth shape if you wanna give someone a blowjob, while “sucking” would probably hint that your penis is really small, haha.
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