Which Christmas Character Are You?
December 15, 2008 
40 Comments
Which Christmas television character would be most successful at meeting the opposite sex? Here’s something you probably never think about when you’re out there Christmas shopping: Instead of shopping for presents, think about filling your bag with people.
I mean, we dress up for Halloween. So why not dress up for Christmas? People will walk around wearing mistletoe on their head, but it dries up and will get pretty gross. I think we can come up with some better options for Christmas dress up choices this year.
How about dressing up as Frosty The Snowman with a carrot dick? Or how about Frosty The Snowwoman? Nothing would be sexier than touching those icy snow boobs or cuddling up with a slushy thing in your bed. Can you imagine going on a date with Frosty to a coffeehouse? Well at least with the constant melting, you know you would always have something to drink.
How about being Rudolph with his red nose? Hey Rudolph, won’t you drive MY sleigh tonight? I think if you would choose to be Rudolph, then you are a very passive person because he got yelled at by almost everyone. Can you imagine that red nose glowing in a restaurant? There could also be lots of benefits to that glowing nose though. You just never know when you need a red light in the dark.
What about being The Grinch? Whoops … a lot of you already are if your angry emails are any indication. So all you’ll need is a bit of green face paint and some antlers to put on your dog’s head.
How about good old Charlie Brown? You could walk around with a sad little Christmas tree asking people to help you decorate it. You would always have a dirty kid with you to help, along with a kid following you around constantly playing the piano.
What about being Bumble the snow-beast from Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer? He seemed grumpy like a lot of you until his sore tooth came out. Then he was a honey.
You could always be that little dentist kid, Hermey, who didn’t want to make toys and just wanted to be a dentist. You could walk around with a wooden toy all day long extracting teeth from grumpy people (or snow-beasts). You could walk around asking people who seem grumpy if they need a tooth extracted.
Then instead of being a snowman who sings about silver and gold, you could be the guy who sings about women and booze. That way you could walk around being a happy drunk the entire holiday season.
Now there are some Christmas television characters we will not mention, like those from A Very Brady Christmas. I don’t think there’s any reason to be ANY of those characters.
So who do you want to be this Christmas? I’m sure there’s some characters I’ve forgot here, but really this is the time of year to cheer up. This is the best time of the year to meet people. You can find a lot of parties … or you can be one of these characters and start your own.
Yeah, we had plenty of Rudolph type red-nosed people back in Ukraine. We called them drunks
Don’t forget about “Olive…the other reindeer”
Or grandma (she got run over by the reindeer)
I’d probably be Rudolph, not by choice, but because I relate: picked on as a kid, stands out from the crowd (no, I don’t have a red-nose; but I always make an impression on people) and who knows one day I may guide the sleigh.
PS
I worked with a guy that looked just like Hermey
I can picture myself dressing up as Mrs. Santa in a teddy with my baby angel sitting in front of a cozy fire. Just letting the evening come away and watching this ice storm take place. Doing what comes naturally. Seeing him dressed in a tight pair of leotards and watching tv. Hey David did you say to get kinky with this or what.
Yes I do have someone in my life that I help out occasionally. We happen to be close friends and I happen to be his angelmouse. I call him my baby angel.
Daryl
There are some Santa Clauses wanna bees that I work with. Maybe we both work for the same company.
Sandra, do you work for an airline?
But was Oliver the redneck cousin reindeer hey I have some of those on my family tree.
Daryl
Remember the Fox cartoon they created for Christmas “Olive…the other reindeer” – the play on “all of the other reindeer” (the ones that laughed and called Rudolph names).
You asked if we worked for the same company; I’m just mentioning the field I work in – we may work for the same company – idk
I worked as Santa Claus for a few years while i was in High School; it was a blast.
Did you know that high school & college age girls love to get their picture taken with Santa?
No try like retail Wally World Wal Mart us workers call it this.
Here in Cheatham County TN are under an ice storm warnings and it is suppose to hit sometime soon.
What you said reminded of a song that sang about rudolph’s cousin the redneck reindeer I can’t help it that I am a redneck woman.
I had my picture taken with Santa at the place I work for. You can see it on facebook under Sandra Hutchens it is hidden behind my yahoo avitar. She is the one who is dressed up as a sexy nurse with a doctors bag and a hospital bed behind her. That is the person who is talking to you now.
Sandra,
look me up on facebook (Darryl W. Perry) – I can’t access it until after work
Daryl
Which one there is one that is a politician and one from Alabama
Both are me; one is my “fan” page
Frosty The Snowman with a carrot dick!
There was a comedy song out years ago about these guys who built a snowman and when dad came out to see it. He noticed that they made the dick to small. He said he was going to get and asked had they been talking to their mom again. Oh I got one this guy was walking towards me with his finger where his manhood was and I said if that is how big it is I would not be bragging. Then laughed.
Hey guys you all are making me blush….
There’s not a carrot big enough
I know this guy who used to work in a grocery store he would watch the women pick out the cucumbers and wonder what size she was thinking of. Catch it guys cucumber
I can see it now I am driving down the road and see this frosty the snowman and all of a sudden it has a firm hard cucumber sticking out of it. Hey bananas are too mushy. Catch my drift. lmao
Santa will ask have you been naughty or nice girl I will probably reply Santa I have been real naughty talking naughty guys. Forget the nice girl just go for the goal man ride that cowboy. I wonder what Santa would have to say has he been naughty with Ms. Santa Claus.
all i know is i want me a sexy little elf for christmas……. : )
Darryl – as Santa? Sounds like someone is feeling wistful about a little lap action from days gone by.
I think that I’d be the character playing the piano while some gal is doing her Eartha Kitt rendition of “Santa Baby…”
Hey, Sandra – do you sing? Do you know that song?
K
I do sing it has been along time since I have heard the song Santa Baby. I know someone that I would like to do a lap dance with? OO LA LA
Reynold
U Naugghhtiee Guy
K
It’s been nearly 3 1/2 years since I had any “action” if you catch my drift.
And yes, I am “wistful” for some action soon.
You know what they say “No action makes Darryl go crazy!”
Darryl
Hint: Go solo it may get boring but it helps me. I have been without going on five years.
I have a question for David
When you go to Whole Foods do you hang out in the produce department to watch women with cucumbers?
Ok guys get David good for I know that when a woman teases a man in front of guys they will give him living hell behind our backs.
To add to frosty snowman don’t put a thimble where the dick should be put a big hard long slimy cucumber in front. A thimble I would say if it is that long I would not advertise.
Give us cowgirls something we want to ride not laugh at.
Sandra,
“Going solo” got boring 3 1/2 years ago – lol
??Five years??
that’s an awfully long time – sorry to hear that
Darryl
I understand
Actually “going solo” got boring way before 3 1/2 years ago. Try closer to 12 years ago – lol
I want to be the adult Santa Claus so I can have women sit on my lap
Hmmm…maybe I’ll go get my pic taken with Santa this year!