Comments on: When Is The Last Time You Had A Crush On Somebody?

By: Peregrine

Peregrine — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 05:30:26 +0000

I’m new here and this is hard to write, but I know that you’re right.

My wife and I had a mutual crush for 44 years. It started with the trite-sounding “look across the room” but it really happened that way and within six months we were married. It only got better. I think that a big part of it was that we remained strongly individual for all that time, creating a couple that was stronger and bigger than either of us would have been. She was a beautiful woman that could have been a model but she was even more beautiful inside and had an effect on everyone she met. We had both mutual and separate interests, but were totally into all of life together.

Unfortunately, about 4 years ago we found that she had cancer and it finally took her this past spring.

Initially I was lost, but she and I had discussed this and she told me there was love and there was life. I’m now trying to continue with my life, but there won’t be another love like that for me.

It was great! Everyone should try for it.

By: K

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 07:05:07 +0000

Thanks for the latest reality check. Guess that I know now why the last one fizzled…it was a major mutual crush that lasted for 7 years. People thought that I was crazy to throw in the towel but as I read this day’s offering and all of the comments, it’s like a light bulb turning on gradually and becoming brighter and brighter. I thought that it should have gone the distance but now it’s clear – he didn’t like himself enough. I withdrew and he didn’t even notice until I was already gone. Then he was angry but by then, I was in the wind. I didn’t have a good explanation for it. I have been trying to verbalize this for some time and all that I could come up with was that I had better things to do – with myself and others.

I’m almost (but not quite) sorry to say that life is much better now although the personal and professional challenges are greater than ever. My previously anonymous public life seems to be morphing into something more personal as more strangers are initiating conversation with me. I am surprised at the increasing frequency of it and it keeps happening when I least expect it. Makes me wonder if that is one of the signs that what I had previously was a mirage – that I was actually inaccessible to others and that’s how I picked him – or vice versa. Until I have some new flash of understanding, I’m just going with the flow. Apparently, something is working better than before. And this is much more fun…somebody, crush me, please…

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 01:02:52 +0000

Thanks, Dallas. You get it exactly. Sage advice, and it’s also nice to hear from someone who appreciates the post-shyness animation.

By: Dallas

Dallas — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 01:32:03 +0000

This was actually a really refreshing topic. Loved Jen and Lexi’s posts too, great perspective…

Jenny had a question about channeling the ‘real you’ … Jenny, I have read probably a million times that the ‘real you’ is communicated through body language. There are definitely things that a woman can do even if she is shy to convey so much. Just allow the way he makes you feel on the inside work its way to the surface. If there is a connection, the real you will be there in no time.

For what it’s worth, I like a girl who is a little shy/ humble at first, that way when she gets really animated at least I know she is comfortable in my presence.

By: Lexi

Lexi — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:30:38 +0000

If a child falls down over and over again, failing at walking, failing at making complete sentences, failing at all the things many adults can do with ease, does that mean the child is undeserving of love until they can succeed? Does withholding love from the child help them or hinder their ability to succeed?

By: Willi

Willi — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:48:28 +0000

Thanks for this blog it helps me feel better about my current situation. I have been dating this great girl, but until recently, her cel phone hasn´t been working, and at first I got upset and angry at the situation. But then I realized, with a cool head, that first off, I needed to remind myself that I am the man, that she has been missing, and that she´s the lucky one to be with me. I still enjoy her company a hell of a lot. But knowing your own true value and reminding yourself everyday about that, is definetely, a great way to live life. Ever since, I´ve heard of you and other dating guru´s, my outlook on life in general has definetely changed for the better. To the point where if and when I get turned down, I smile and move on. It´s all a part of life, and life is a fun game to be played at all times, 24 7. I´m 26 now, and only now have I been in a serious relationship, for the first time in my life. Thanks for the advices.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:09:55 +0000

I think the hard part is not crushing on yourself, but finding someone who is as mentally healthy as you are that they love themselves…I’m 39 and actively dating different people, but I have to say that I quickly move on when it is clear the guy I’m on a date with is emotionally stunted-and that happens a lot more than you would think! I mean, what’s the point of growing older and existing in your body for 39 years if can’t love and appreciate yourself? Personally I think the older I get, the better I get, and the more I appreciate who I am and know what I want!

By: David Wygant

David Wygant — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:34:18 +0000

Benjamin

29 is young and you have an amazing journey ahead!!

By: David Wygant

David Wygant — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:33:41 +0000

Leon

A crush is not only for childhood. As an adult is a deeper feeling that is called falling in love.

By: David Wygant

David Wygant — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:33:01 +0000

Tee

If you are open to love and the other person is not…..then you need to move on.

Love is something that you can not force upon someone and hope they love you back.