What’s your name again?
Gee, thanks for telling me, because I’m never going to remember it anyway!
People are always asking me how I remember everyone’s name. I always answer, “I don’t!” I rarely remember people’s names.
What I do remember is things about them. I remember personal things about them. Every single person that I meet I attach some type of story or nickname to.
For example, tonight I went to a party and ran into a guy that I’d met before. I don’t really remember his name, but I do remember him as “Radio Man” – because he’s in the radio business.
So I went and talked to him, and I said, “hey, Radio Man, how are you? What’s going on?” and I remembered what we talked about the last time. I remembered the business things we talked about and I remembered some of the ventures that he did, and I brought them up.
I remember details about everyone. You’re not bonding with somebody based on his or her name; you’re bonding with them because you remember something interesting about them.
Who cares if you don’t remember their name? I remember details. I remember things about people, so that the next time I see them I will be able to move the conversation forward. I’ll be able to talk with them further. I can ask them questions.
For instance, there is this woman that works at Whole Foods, and she has on Hello Kitty stuff all of the time because her daughter makes her wear it. So every time I see her, I say, “Hello Kitty, how are you? Your daughter made you wear that pin again today?” And then we can talk about her daughter and other things.
The key thing is to remember details about somebody so that the next time you talk to them you are able to take the conversation further.
Think about it – how do you feel when someone remembers you? You feel good if somebody remembers your name, but how do you feel if somebody remembers a detail about you? Or if somebody remembers something that happened to you? Or a story that you told them? How does that make you feel? It makes you feel so much better.
So don’t worry about the names. Just remember things about people. The more you can remember about people, the greater emotional connection you are going to have and the greater chance you’ll have of being memorable to them. You’ll be able to take it further.
Once again: I don’t care what your name is. I don’t remember your name. But I do remember that it was your 3-year-old daughter’s birthday last week – and that is all that matters.
Start remembering things about people and you will also learn how to listen better. If you start listening to what people say you’ll become a good conversationalist.
It’s a great trick – for me to become a great conversationalist I had to really listen to people. When I really listened to people, I started remembering things. When I started remembering things, I was able to take the conversation deeper and further.
So thank you to all of you anonymous readers! I don’t know any of your names. But if you email me, I’ll remember your story.