You know, one of the most common questions I get from both men and women is how they can become more attractive to members of the opposite sex. The problem is that most people who struggle with attracting the opposite sex really don’t understand what creates attraction.
So what makes someone attractive to the opposite sex? What makes someone attractive in general? Anyone who is familiar with my work knows that one of the core principles I teach is that you need to put out good energy in order to attract people.
People are attracted to those who are positive, who smile, who are open and who are enjoying their life. People who walk around angry, unhappy and with closed body language will not attract anyone. These are not new concepts to anyone who reads this blog.
Here’s what is so interesting though. Even people who understand this concept tend to make a mistake in how they try to apply this.
The number one mistake that men and women make when they go out and try to meet someone of the opposite sex is that they go out to try and meet people of the opposite sex. That is, they go out with laser focus trying to locate and talk to people they are attracted to while ignoring everyone else.
If you understand what creates attraction, though, you know that it is created not just by how you interact with someone you want to attract but also by how you interact in general with the world around you.
Similarly, you attract members of the opposite sex not only by how you interact with them individually, but by how they see you interact with others. In fact, although it may initially seem counterintuitive some of you, you will actually begin to attract more members of the opposite sex the minute you stop focusing on trying to attract certain people and you start focusing on how to just become attractive in general.
To become really successful at meeting and connecting with members of the opposite sex, you need to really get this concept. The next question is, of course, HOW do you do this?
Instead of giving you the answer to this question in this blog, as a special treat for everyone I decided to answer it LIVE. I have just posted a special FREE BONUS Podcast for all of you where I talk about how you can create INSTANT ATTRACTION every day and everywhere you go.
Click here to listen to this special recording: http://members.davidwygant.com/Podcast.html
Remember that I send out weekly podcasts, but ONLY to members of my newsletter list. So if you want to get access to all future weekly Members Only Podcast, be sure to sign up for my newsletter in the BLUE BOX located on the upper right hand corner of each page of my site.
Enjoy this special FREE bonus podcast today!
P.S. If you can’t download the podcast from the above link here is the direct link to download the Podcast directly to your computer: http://yeshdolh.byoaudio.com/deluge/Talk-To-Everyone.mp3
Sooo true! I’ve discussed this topic many times with David before and this advice is pure gold.
It’s amazing how that works. I remember one time when I was upbeat and having a good time at a surf shop, and everyone wanted to talk to me. Now granted most of these people were paid to talk to me, but even shoppers wanted to talk to me. It was great. Here’s the thing though. Can you really be like that all the time? Sometimes, I just like to sit back and observe things. I can only be wild and enthusiastic when I feel like doing so. A lot of times, it depends on places, people, and situations. For example, if I’m out with friends I have not seen in a long time, I’m pretty extroverted. If I am in a bar or some place like that, I’m not interested in talking to the girls. I like watching other guys try to take them home for the night, but I don’t want to take them home. What do you guys think?
Dave
i talk to everyone, but once in a while i get lazy or get in the weird mood and just don’t want to talk to people…
and than i’ll see this gorgeous girl………
next thing i know, i’m stuttering in front of her like a little idiot!
It is true, man. When I focus on explaining to people how to make themselves more attractive, I use principles that can be used in any situation. It’s not just about women. It’s about your entire life. Women are just one aspect (although an important one to some).
Focus on being an attractive, fun guy and people will flock to you. You need to amplify your energy so that not only are the people you are talking to you feeling it, the people outside of that circle are feeling it and want to feel more.
Make sense?
I just dL’ed the podcast. Can’t wait to check it out!
I understand what you’re saying, David. Still, I would never write off a guy just because he doesn’t “work the room” when he’s at a party. I think people talk way too much anyway. In fact, if I were single and I saw a guy standing alone at the bar, quietly enjoying his drink, I would probably walk up to him and start a conversation. Some women are attracted to guys who don’t feel a need to throw their words out 24/7.
A guy who I would see talking to every person in a room would not be attractive to me as a possible mate because I would see him as a player and someone who wants to entertain everyone all the time. Imagine living with someone like that. Must be so energy-demanding. He is the kind of guy who’s probably great at attracting casual sex-women, not women who are interested in a serious relationship.
I think it’s perfectly okay to not smile all the time, that’s normal. And yes, some guys do have a closed body language because they’re more introvert; but that’s okay too, they will get approached by a different kind of woman than a guy who focuses on becoming attractive to the entire world.
It’s simple law of attraction stuff.. Positive energy attracts positive energy… Just need a reminder every so often.
I love what you write, David. Being positive is the universal attractor.
However, I feel that some people mistake being positive with being social. You don’t have to be the guy working the room to get attraction. Working the room helps but as long as you look like you are happy, that you smile, that you are obviously enjoying yourself, people will respond in kind to you.
So it’s OK to be lazy and not talk to everyone ALL the time, but it’s definitely good to be open and friendly no matter what mood you feel in.
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Hi David
I absolutely agree with you, mate! To start talking to anyone in our vicinity not only makes you appear more attractive but it will also help one to warm up his/her observation muscles on a personal level…So no more excuses for guys/gals for lost of words when it comes to approaching anyone they would like to meet the first time…
However I would have to add in response to Kath…I believe the message which David is trying to portray is towards the extremely shy guys/gals who is looking for answers in being more outgoing and hence being more attractive…this surely does not mean that one is oblige to be babbling off one’s mouth 24/7…it is more about one being comfortable in one’s own skin and being able to want to connect with others…if you’ve hung out with David, I’m sure you won’t find him babbling to all which he sees all the time (most of the time he would)….again…each to his/her own…there are always someone for everyone…there’s the one who is confident and less talkative and there are also the ones who are quite and less confident and appearing creepy….
Years ago I was at a bar and there was a beautiful girl there by herself, every guy in the bar was hitting on her. I asked a friend about her and he told me that she just came in drank and watched but no one was able to get close to her. So I being so dumb just every once in a while bought her a drink, I didnt approach her or try to talk to her after about 3 hours she was sitting with me and I took her home. We saw each other for several years but for some reason we never got serious. I am shy around people I dont know and sometimes find it difficult to meet new people and I dont go to the bars anymore. Cant deal with drunks anymore!!!!! No patience left for jerks.
I agree with Kath! She said what women thought about men and what we expect from men! I don’t want a social butter fly who tried to get all the attention like an idiot and embarrass the hell of me!
Being confident makes a man attractive. Women can quicky pick that guy up. Trying too hard just means you are hiding something…
Most attractive quality to me is being whom you ARE! We all have some qualities makes us attractive, which we should make it more visible to others.
I disagree with Kath and victoria. As a female in a room, if a guy shows he’s comfortable in his own skin and attracts people just by being himself…that’s attractive. He’s not necessarily flirting and working the room. He’s being social and that’s totally different than trying to be the center of attention.
There is no formula for being attractive because there are many attractive qualities, and tastes for everything. To me, a shy guy is extremely attractive. He seems introverted, deep, and mysterious, and that sparks my curiosity. Just because someone is shy it does not make them unattractive. Anyone can be comfortable in their own skin being who they are, without fitting within any particular parameters of attractiveness.
Hey Kris,
at least in my eyes, I can tell the differences wether a guy is being social or he is trying to get attention.