Comments on: What Cheating REALLY Means

By: Ashton Laurent

Ashton Laurent — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 06:21:02 +0000

If you need to cheat, then you shouldn’t be in this relationship. Period. If you feel that the person you are with isn’t enough, then get out. Once you do this, the relationship is broken, even if she/he doesn’t know about the cheating. You have really moved on and you can’t get the honesty back into the relationship. It doesn’t help to admit it. You just end up hurting the other person. You do have to admit it to yourself, though.
Maybe you haven’t communicated your needs to your partner. Maybe your partner wouldn’t want to do certain things that you want to do in bed. Maybe, maybe, maybe…. You need to take responsibility for your part in this act because if you haven’t talked with your partner about your desires and have sought them elsewhere, well, how did you know that he/she wouldn’t go along with them???? If, of course, if your partner isn’t interested in your desires, why are you with this person anyhow? I mean, who wants to be with a person who doesn’t care enough to please you? You have a right to be with someone who wants to be with all of the parts of you. So if this is the case, the relationship isn’t going to ever work for you and you should find one that does work.
In any case, you have broken your trust with your partner.
You need to be honest with yourself first. Decide what you really want and decide if this relationship is something you want to salvage.
Sometimes, you have children that you want to protect. Sometimes there are financial considerations. You, and only you, can decide what is important to you.
That is the most important thing – self honesty. You have to know who YOU are. I tell people to make a list for themselves. You have to know what you want – what your strengths are – what your weaknesses are. When you do that, you attract what you really, truly desire. When you are very honest with yourself, cheating is out of the question. Only when you have lied to yourself will cheating occur.

By: K

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 04:18:47 +0000

James Y – I’m probably betting on the same side as you: “there is no greater predictor of future behavior than past behavior.” She sounds amazingly consistent in her bad manners.

And just so that you don’t beat yourself up over it, let me just point out one more thing: Before someone tells you that you attract what you are, consider that deceptive people with hidden behaviors and agendas wear a false mask and are probably seeking out the most trusting of folks so that they can manipulate them and flex their negative skill set on one unsuspecting soul after another. It’s no fun to them if you can see through them and call their BS out on the carpet as you show them the door.

Start fresh and make sure that you note some of her negative indicators before you get out there so that you can spot them and brush them aside should they cross your path. Good Luck!

By: James Y

James Y — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:41:09 +0000

I forgot something. David, in some cases, those people who cheat are not only lying to their partner, but also themselves.

As is the case of my ex, who thinks that it was the best thing for her to do, instead of trying and put the work into the relationship.

She even thinks that it was the best thing to do, as she emotionally cheated on me with the guy who is her current boyfriend.

Am taking bets on how long it will take for her to destroy this relationship, as I know she has lied to him, as well as is telling other guys that she is interested in sleeping with them. Any takers?

By: a.movie

a.movie — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:09:16 +0000

I was wondering when you would reply to that one.

I was jk, of course. Take a stance on spirituality you might find that you even like it. We are built with the internal device to make it work but you have to believe in it to benefit.

You are already a divorcee if you are starting to cheat. imho. Same thing in the mind, its just not legal yet. But what do I know. I don’t know enough about you.

By: DanTheOriginal

DanTheOriginal — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 14:59:14 +0000

>>>>>>Just convert to Mormon or Islam and you will be spiritually fine.

Thanks for the advice but I happen to be an equal hater of ALL religionns:-)

>>>>>>Didn’t know you were a disgruntled divorcee…

Where did you get that idea?? I may be a divorcee one day and I think I may even be a happier person then:-)

>>>>>… makes your agressive sexual appetite easier to understand.

Yes. And I still think you need to get laid, get a therapist and get the fuck out of LA:-)

Cheers;-)

By: a.movie

a.movie — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:01:54 +0000

DantheOriginal.

Just convert to Mormon or Islam and you will be spiritually fine. Didn’t know you were a disgruntled divorcee, makes your agressive sexual appetite easier to understand.

By: Khiem (DW Coach)

Khiem (DW Coach) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:51:53 +0000

Cheating is interesting… b/c there’s also the idea of emotional cheating.

For Kismet, I feel that flirting is harmless as long as both partners know their boundaries. If it gets too sexual… if you seem to be misleading someone… then you might be cheating on your partner.

For me… I understood that flirting can be fun… and it can be a self-esteem boost because everyone enjoys a little bit of attention from the opposite sex.

I allowed my ex-g/f to flirt a bit. I even allowed her to go out with other guys… and to dance with other guys but she knew her boundaries.

One time, I was at a club with her and some guy started dancing and grinding on her when I took a break. I let her have fun…. but once it started getting too sexual… I stepped in, reminded her with eye contact that “that was enough” and she came right back to me.

For anyone wbo wants to have a glimpse at how swingers/open relationships can sometimes be emotional draining, go rent and watch “Fling”. It’s a great movie released last year… and it shows you the complications you can get from cheating… even when you tell each other.

By: JamesY

JamesY — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:43:56 +0000

Honestly, it would be more for my ex. Long story short, she cheated on me. And a previous boyfriend of hers. And it looks like she is going to do something similar to her current boyfriend.

But at the same time, I would like to be able to put the podcasts into my ipod, so I can listen to them while I am driving.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:11:03 +0000

James –

Why don’t you just tell your friends to sign up for David’s newsletter list. He emails all of his podcasts to the people on his list, plus you get access to all his other podcasts.

Or, just post the link for this blog on your myspace page and your friends can just click over and listen to it

By: JamesY

JamesY — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:43:05 +0000

I really wish I could get a copy of some of David’s podcasts (especially this one).

I would love to be able to put this one on my myspace page, so some of my friends can hear this.