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	<title>Comments on: What’s Wrong With PUA Methods?</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/</link>
	<description>Sex. Relationships. Dating. That&#039;s what I&#039;m talkin&#039; &#039;bout.</description>
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		<title>By: asdf</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-43169</link>
		<dc:creator>asdf</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Sep 2010 20:55:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-43169</guid>
		<description>PUA is wrong, I used to be more attractive to girls when I was naive and unsecure but I was 100% myself.. no rules determining what or what not should... I take some useful tips and information but following a script someone wrote will only make you more beta, not alpha.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>PUA is wrong, I used to be more attractive to girls when I was naive and unsecure but I was 100% myself.. no rules determining what or what not should&#8230; I take some useful tips and information but following a script someone wrote will only make you more beta, not alpha.</p>
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		<title>By: May</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-41304</link>
		<dc:creator>May</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 14:16:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-41304</guid>
		<description>&lt;i&gt;Women are a hobby.&lt;/i&gt;

That&#039;s why there are so many divorces.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><i>Women are a hobby.</i></p>
<p>That&#8217;s why there are so many divorces.</p>
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		<title>By: Curious</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-23116</link>
		<dc:creator>Curious</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:37:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-23116</guid>
		<description>Hi Adam,

I get your point... I will try out the things you said here...

Thanks. :)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Adam,</p>
<p>I get your point&#8230; I will try out the things you said here&#8230;</p>
<p>Thanks. <img src='http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: Adam DW Head Instructor - London</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22971</link>
		<dc:creator>Adam DW Head Instructor - London</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Feb 2009 10:29:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22971</guid>
		<description>eating pancakes all day whilst watching the latest DVDs.  Your now in a light hearted place where she will naturally want to be in and respond accordingly in line with that.

LETS HAVE SOME FUN...lets go out right now and find 3 different people, establish where they are emotionally and then guide them to a better place...if their in a great place, take them higher...there are no boundaries only the boundaries you set...

Get out there and get back to me.....Adam.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>eating pancakes all day whilst watching the latest DVDs.  Your now in a light hearted place where she will naturally want to be in and respond accordingly in line with that.</p>
<p>LETS HAVE SOME FUN&#8230;lets go out right now and find 3 different people, establish where they are emotionally and then guide them to a better place&#8230;if their in a great place, take them higher&#8230;there are no boundaries only the boundaries you set&#8230;</p>
<p>Get out there and get back to me&#8230;..Adam.</p>
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		<title>By: Adam DW Head Instructor - London</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22970</link>
		<dc:creator>Adam DW Head Instructor - London</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Feb 2009 10:16:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22970</guid>
		<description>Hi Curious,
Great point, and I think you have it right.
If she is feeling down and you want to connect with her, then I woould absolutely go to where she is emotionally, but dont take her down further.  She is not looking for an answer from you nor do you want to be her therapist. Instead, understand where she is at emotionally, connect with her there by sharing something of yourself with that emotional feeling then guide the conversation to a happier place, maybe how your own story eventually gave you inspiration or howm you learnt from the experience. If you take the negative and then finsh with a positive in order for her to respond and not break rapport she will have to go positive aswell and now you are both feeling better. 

When in an interation you want to have contrast. You dont want to be positive all the time example. &quot;Hi, Im feeling great today, I woke up this moring knowing to day was going to be great, I love life, everything always works out for me, I think i just won the lottery&quot; and so on....When I speak with someone like this i think two things.  1. I wonder what nut house he escaped from or 2. Wheres the nearest exit?
You want to be real and have contrast in your language.  Be positive then negative, then positive again. Always finish on a positive, that way the reponse will be one of positivity. for example - I woke up this morning feeling great then I walked into my recently refurbished lounge where the builders are still at work and I stepped on a nail that went through my big toe,  I was in so much pain for about 10 minutes.  But at least my girl came to my rescue and we ended up taking the day off work and eat</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hi Curious,<br />
Great point, and I think you have it right.<br />
If she is feeling down and you want to connect with her, then I woould absolutely go to where she is emotionally, but dont take her down further.  She is not looking for an answer from you nor do you want to be her therapist. Instead, understand where she is at emotionally, connect with her there by sharing something of yourself with that emotional feeling then guide the conversation to a happier place, maybe how your own story eventually gave you inspiration or howm you learnt from the experience. If you take the negative and then finsh with a positive in order for her to respond and not break rapport she will have to go positive aswell and now you are both feeling better. </p>
<p>When in an interation you want to have contrast. You dont want to be positive all the time example. &#8220;Hi, Im feeling great today, I woke up this moring knowing to day was going to be great, I love life, everything always works out for me, I think i just won the lottery&#8221; and so on&#8230;.When I speak with someone like this i think two things.  1. I wonder what nut house he escaped from or 2. Wheres the nearest exit?<br />
You want to be real and have contrast in your language.  Be positive then negative, then positive again. Always finish on a positive, that way the reponse will be one of positivity. for example &#8211; I woke up this morning feeling great then I walked into my recently refurbished lounge where the builders are still at work and I stepped on a nail that went through my big toe,  I was in so much pain for about 10 minutes.  But at least my girl came to my rescue and we ended up taking the day off work and eat</p>
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		<title>By: hunter</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22836</link>
		<dc:creator>hunter</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:30:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22836</guid>
		<description>Sandra,,,,I have seen players get married.......they get smitten, at the end of it all.....</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sandra,,,,I have seen players get married&#8230;&#8230;.they get smitten, at the end of it all&#8230;..</p>
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		<title>By: KayTwo</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22828</link>
		<dc:creator>KayTwo</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:38:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22828</guid>
		<description>Awesome post. I like your writing style Khiem. It&#039;s genuine and sincere, and yet methodical.

I personally despise the term &quot;PUA&quot; and would never want it to be my identity. Nevertheless I have been in the &quot;community&quot; for about a year and a half. Met a ton of &quot;aspiring-PUAs&quot; and read majority of the material under the sun. Having said that, here is my &quot;PUA&quot; opinion on the post.

Two things came to mind after reading the article.

1) portrayal of the community
2) pick up lines/methods/routines

...

1) The stereotypical depiction of the PUA world comes mostly from the best seller book and vh1 reality show. Both of which do a heck of a lot more harm, than good. They paint a very skewed and extreme picture, along with coining the childish and all-encompassing term of &quot;Pick Up Artist&quot;.

I found a number of dating gurus in the &quot;PUA community&quot; whose teachings are sound. They don&#039;t teach how to dress like a clown, trick women and exploit their &quot;emotional systems&quot;. They teach how to be an authentic man, who is comfortable in his own skin, can stand his grounds and make assertive decisions in life. The &quot;PUA community&quot; is not black and white, and comes with plenty shades of gray. It just so happened that the most publicized section of the community happened to be the toxic and character eroding one.

...

2) I keep on going back and forth how I view pick up routines and lines. Once again it&#039;s not so black and white to me. They are neither good nor evil. They have their place. I think too many people get too hung up on them, blow their importance out of proportion and start identifying with the methods. 

The best analogy for &quot;routines/methods&quot; that I can think of comes from martial arts. I&#039;ve been taking martial arts classes (Aikido) for about 4 months. The main chunk of my training has consisted of memorized moves. Forms of movement that are planned out step for step in great detail. And yet ask any of the black belts and they will tell you, the moves you learn and memorize will NEVER come up in a real encounter. Shoe-horning &quot;routines&quot; into a real fight is a recipe for disaster. So why bother? Well you still learn a lot from memorized moves. They are a useful learning tool. 

A few memorized routines can be handy. It&#039;s helpful to say the same thing over and over again, while playing around with your tone of voice, changing the rate of pausing, focusing on eye contact, observing your body language and inner psychological comfort. Notice that all the &quot;benefits&quot; I listed from a routine, bring the focus back to yourself. They should help you grow and figure out a thing or two. Their intention is not to trick a woman or base your personality off them. 

That&#039;s my two &quot;pick up&quot; cents.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Awesome post. I like your writing style Khiem. It&#8217;s genuine and sincere, and yet methodical.</p>
<p>I personally despise the term &#8220;PUA&#8221; and would never want it to be my identity. Nevertheless I have been in the &#8220;community&#8221; for about a year and a half. Met a ton of &#8220;aspiring-PUAs&#8221; and read majority of the material under the sun. Having said that, here is my &#8220;PUA&#8221; opinion on the post.</p>
<p>Two things came to mind after reading the article.</p>
<p>1) portrayal of the community<br />
2) pick up lines/methods/routines</p>
<p>&#8230;</p>
<p>1) The stereotypical depiction of the PUA world comes mostly from the best seller book and vh1 reality show. Both of which do a heck of a lot more harm, than good. They paint a very skewed and extreme picture, along with coining the childish and all-encompassing term of &#8220;Pick Up Artist&#8221;.</p>
<p>I found a number of dating gurus in the &#8220;PUA community&#8221; whose teachings are sound. They don&#8217;t teach how to dress like a clown, trick women and exploit their &#8220;emotional systems&#8221;. They teach how to be an authentic man, who is comfortable in his own skin, can stand his grounds and make assertive decisions in life. The &#8220;PUA community&#8221; is not black and white, and comes with plenty shades of gray. It just so happened that the most publicized section of the community happened to be the toxic and character eroding one.</p>
<p>&#8230;</p>
<p>2) I keep on going back and forth how I view pick up routines and lines. Once again it&#8217;s not so black and white to me. They are neither good nor evil. They have their place. I think too many people get too hung up on them, blow their importance out of proportion and start identifying with the methods. </p>
<p>The best analogy for &#8220;routines/methods&#8221; that I can think of comes from martial arts. I&#8217;ve been taking martial arts classes (Aikido) for about 4 months. The main chunk of my training has consisted of memorized moves. Forms of movement that are planned out step for step in great detail. And yet ask any of the black belts and they will tell you, the moves you learn and memorize will NEVER come up in a real encounter. Shoe-horning &#8220;routines&#8221; into a real fight is a recipe for disaster. So why bother? Well you still learn a lot from memorized moves. They are a useful learning tool. </p>
<p>A few memorized routines can be handy. It&#8217;s helpful to say the same thing over and over again, while playing around with your tone of voice, changing the rate of pausing, focusing on eye contact, observing your body language and inner psychological comfort. Notice that all the &#8220;benefits&#8221; I listed from a routine, bring the focus back to yourself. They should help you grow and figure out a thing or two. Their intention is not to trick a woman or base your personality off them. </p>
<p>That&#8217;s my two &#8220;pick up&#8221; cents.</p>
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		<title>By: chad</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22818</link>
		<dc:creator>chad</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2009 06:10:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22818</guid>
		<description>i tried the PUA artist techniques on a female friend before....she was pissed with me a whole week!  its mostly bullshit in my mind....thankfully said chick and I hang out and get along better than ever....id like to make a move though....ill wait till she&#039;s done with her current bf.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>i tried the PUA artist techniques on a female friend before&#8230;.she was pissed with me a whole week!  its mostly bullshit in my mind&#8230;.thankfully said chick and I hang out and get along better than ever&#8230;.id like to make a move though&#8230;.ill wait till she&#8217;s done with her current bf.</p>
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		<title>By: Sandra</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22808</link>
		<dc:creator>Sandra</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 18:46:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22808</guid>
		<description>Hunter
I have heard that players a woman can not change.  But I was told this by a man that was married to a wonderful woman.  If it weren&#039;t for her to keep me straight and teaching me about love I don&#039;t know what shape I would be in.  You know something to think about it men and women do help each other out in relationships it may take time though.  But the two can learn from one another or it becomes where one person is not opening up.  Both people need to be open and honest with each other and let the other know how they are feeling at the time so each person can work on the matter at hand.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hunter<br />
I have heard that players a woman can not change.  But I was told this by a man that was married to a wonderful woman.  If it weren&#8217;t for her to keep me straight and teaching me about love I don&#8217;t know what shape I would be in.  You know something to think about it men and women do help each other out in relationships it may take time though.  But the two can learn from one another or it becomes where one person is not opening up.  Both people need to be open and honest with each other and let the other know how they are feeling at the time so each person can work on the matter at hand.</p>
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		<title>By: hunter</title>
		<link>http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-wrong-with-pua-methods/1280/#comment-22804</link>
		<dc:creator>hunter</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:56:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1280#comment-22804</guid>
		<description>Sandra, I have been around  a good looking player, he won&#039;t do much work.   And he won&#039;t say much either, women have taught him to be careful with what he has to say.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sandra, I have been around  a good looking player, he won&#8217;t do much work.   And he won&#8217;t say much either, women have taught him to be careful with what he has to say.</p>
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