The Art of Observation: Part 5

Men's Advice Uncategorized, Videos

By David Wygant July 22, 2013 168 Shares

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

Pickup lines.

Canned openers.

Routines.

The world of seduction and attraction is littered with all this crap that floods the heads of lonely men everywhere.

Any time I hold a boot camp, I get asked about what my favorite lines are to use on unsuspecting women.

You should see the looks on the faces of my clients when I say, “My favorite line is ‘Hello’.”

But that’s not even fully true. My favorite lines come up in the moment. They are real, based on what I’m feeling and seeing in the moment.

You see, the best lines come from observations.

To learn more about how to observe your surroundings so that you can come up with openers on the spot, you should watch the video below:

Nowadays, dating is more competitive than it’s ever been — download this free report to learn 6 proven skills to stand apart & succeed in the modern dating world.

About David

1.7 million men & women come to me every month to find the secrets to success. And after 20 years of coaching, I’ve discovered the golden keys to success in dating, business, health and wellness, and life.

I’ve helped millions of men and women around the globe achieve success in their dating, social and personal lives. I’m also a father to the world’s cutest little girl, and I am an unapologetic man. Some say I’m nuts, others say I’ve changed their life forever. One thing’s for certain: I’ll always give you the truth, whether you can handle it or not. I never sugar coat anything.

Nice is so overrated. I’d prefer brutally honest breakthrough to a “nice” rut any damn day of the week. If you’re the same way, then you've come to the right place.

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Technoboy

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

"They have that deer in the headlight look that women tend to have" It's good to know I am not the only one who has that effect on people :). If she is not in the mood to talk to strangers, it doesn't matter what you say - she will just look at you like you asked her for spare change for a 'bus ride' or farted. If she is in the mood to talk, it doesn't matter what you say either. My most boring opener ever was at a conference. I changed seats and gloated 'I just got a better seat' to the woman next to me. I was laughing on the inside at how lame that was. Five minutes later we're talking about her playing contact sports as a kid and the proper way to handle a lacrosse stick. True story.

Brad

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

Great blog, as usual ! One thing that is also very important is the ability to 'see' if people are even willing to talk. It is a subtle thing, but if you observe people closely, you can pretty much tell if they will respond or not. You have to somehow be able to quickly pick up the vibe a person is giving off, especially when you walk down a busy street. I think cities like New York are great, because at any given time, half of the folks you see are tourists, and they are almost always open for a conversation. Walking slow and looking around are good indicators.

Bobby

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

Not a very informative vid IMO.

Mike

Monday, July 22nd, 2013

Where is John? This is right up his alley, here David trying to talk to women and it's not working out perfectly like some of the other videos! :) I think the video camera intimates peeps, why is this stranger filming me? they ask..That area is a gold mine for talking to people on a daily basis. All kinds of stuff around to talk about, even ask about.

john

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

???? I thought the video made that point on it's own without me pointing it out. But, since you bring it up... "That's a nice scarf..." Reply... "Thanks" ...(keeps walking). What is gained by that???? This is exactly why I'm not an advocate of the "street / cold approach" pickup. There Is no connection there. That is exactly why I believe building a better social circle is a better approach. Now, if your social circle consists mostly of guys, and taken / married women... and they don't know any women who are single... what do you do? I haven't figured out the answer to that. (I was kinda waiting for Bob's take on this video. )

Bob

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Gotta agree Mike. The video camera would make it very difficult, but the idea is sound. This is what I do daily to meet my women, but I take it a lot further and will almost "insist" that they respond to me in a friendly, chatty way, and even chastise or tease them, and ask them why their day is going so bad, or why they are in such a bad mood if they behave "improperly", rude, or won't take a moment to respond to my inquiries.. The response David got is probably not what he would normally get if he were out alone, and kicking it, and not with a bunch of clients and a video camera. I'm sure it is tough with all that going on. It takes a lot of practice, but is not that hard to get the "deer in the headlight" women to slow down, stop, think a minute, and open up and talk to you, and get them laughing and playing, if you persist a little more. It might be an Okie thing, but we have a natural way of sounding friendly, and interesting to most people. Good vid for beginners to learn.

john

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Bob.. I kinda have to disagree. Most people here don't live in places like OK. "Southern hospitality" is a little different. In places where things are more "hustle and bustle".. areas like LA, NY, CHI.. Hell, even cities like Cincy, or Columbus.. people are in a hurry. The reactions I get trying "street pickup" are exactly the same as the reactions David is getting in this video. I've asked a lot of women about this subject. Every single one of them has told me they DO NOT LIKE to be approached in the street, no matter how good looking / funny / charming the guy is.

Bob

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Yea, I get your point. I have had lots of conversations with women, but very few of them do I even want to take it any further with, or even get their number anyway. I just do it for practice, so when I do finally meet one I want to pursue, I will have the skill and practice to just go ahead and ask her out. I live in either Oklahoma, where it is weird to not to talk about what is going on around you and for strangers to have long conversations in passing, or in Florida, where I spend time fishing, boating, or on the beach. Everyone there is on vacation or relaxing, so not busy or hustling around like on a sidewalk. Totally different circumstances. But, I have met women at street fairs, beaches, outside beach bars, and tiki huts. Most, after talking with them, I don't even want to take out. As I've always said, my best work is at honky tonks. I met my last two wives there (yea I know, but they were both great women, we just moved in different directions), and my last several girl friends in country bars, so that is where I do best...Street chatter is just to get people who are uptight and shy to be able to just start a conversation, and get used to rejection and not worry about it.

john

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Yeah. All of my past relationships were with women I met at a bar, which explains why they failed pretty quickly. I was havinga discussion about this with a few of my sister's friends ( they were at my parent's house when I stopped by) and I asked if guys aporoach them on the street, and what they say. One told me "you don't meet someone on the street. You meet someone through friends, or at a party." They didn't mention work, but they are younger. Where I work, all of the cute girls in the office are either dating management types in the office, or supervisors in the warehouse. Everyone I know is dating, or married to someone they met at work, or someone they met through friends. There's nothing wrong with talking to women on the street, or in malls, etc., I do it too, but I've never had it go anywhere. I try to expand my social circle, but I work so much, I rarely meet new people. Most of my friends are either married truck drivers (co-workers), or married cops (old friends), and their wives.

john

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Oh.. there's Bob's take.. lol. Great timing.

Hans

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

I think the point of the video is not really to suggest that talking to random people in busy streets will net you a relationship. The important thing is to be aware, aware of your environment, and aware of what's going on. In addition, you always want to appear as someone who is walking there with a purpose, and that purpose must under no circumstance be picking up women. Dishing out compliments to strangers about things you notice is awesome. So far, the US has been the only country in the world where this has happened to me, on a regular basis. And I am a man... Whatever you say, say it with a smirk.

john

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

Hans, I'm not saying there's anything "wrong" with talking to random women on the street. Why not? It can't hurt! I just think the conversion rate for approaching women on the street is VERY LOW. I don't know of one single solitary couple who met through a cold approach on the street. In the years I've been following this blog, I have yet to see ONE post from a guy detailing a SUCCESSFUL street approach. So, I'm not saying it "can't" work. I just think the success rate is very low. (Like I said, I usually get the same responses we see in this video. A polite thank you,( if a compliment) or a quick answer to my question, (if a question) then they walk away and go about their business, never looking back.)

Technoboy

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

I don't see street pickup being effective either - have not once heard a story of a couple meeting through a street pickup. The other thing about the street is people are usually going somewhere and don't have time to spare. If you approach the same person twice - once while she is on her way to catch a bus, another time while she is window shopping and killing time, I bet you will get completely different results. Either way, talking to strangers on the street is great practice though. I've never picked up a woman at a bar either, believe it or not. I meet people through activities, classes / seminars / special interest groups, and house parties.

Hans

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2013

John, Techno, I totally agree with you. The conversion rate (that sounds like a basketball term) is probably extremely low. I was in New York City a couple of years ago, armed with a fairly large camera, a tripod, and a panoramic tripod head, in order to take 360 degree pictures of the city. I did not have to talk to anybody, people would just stop and talk to ME instead. They would even ask me for my card, because they wanted to see what the heck these pictures would look like (they actually look like nothing you have ever seen before). So I guess it is the same with everything: if you do something you are really into, you kind of naturally attract people. That said, I also attracted the NYPD a couple of times, because the entire construction looked like some sort of weapon, from a distance. One of the cops let me take a shot of him in front of his 'Interceptor', arms crossed, looking down, really bad ass. A camera is a great tool, whenever you take pictures, people will be interested. Especially when you are flat on your stomach, in front of a cop...lol.

Mjike

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Technoboy, You say, "I don’t see street pickup being effective either – have not once heard a story of a couple meeting through a street pickup." How many people randomly talk to people on the street, looking for someone to intrigue them for a date? How many people find a lot of dates while food shopping? Many hunt for dates in the bars/clubs but most find their relationships outside of that realm. So what are peeps telling you where the hot spots are for dating or do you think your places are the only hot spots? The way you meet people is having a common interest with them already, which makes it easier to connect with people, something David recommends too and is a great idea! :) But are you a mind reader? You say, " The other thing about the street is people are usually going somewhere and don’t have time to spare." How long do you think your going to engage people on the streets? If she interests you, and one or both of you doesn't have much time to spare, ask for her number so you can continue the conversation at another time! You will be surprised at the people who will take time to talk to you in the streets.

The Art of Observation: Part 5

About David

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16 Comments | Join the Discussion!

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Technoboy

Brad

Bobby

Mike

john

Bob

john

Bob

john

john

Hans

john

Technoboy

Hans

Mjike