Don’t Compare Yourself to Others by David Wygant

So someone asked me a really good question, and he said, “man, I’ve been involved in the pick-up world, I’ve been doing all of this stuff trying to pick up women, and I’ve been at it a full year now, and there are some guys who are just better than me!”

What is funny about that is that, for one, life is a marathon – not a sprint. You can’t compare yourself to other people and their accomplishments. Everybody learns at a different pace. Everyone learns things in different ways.

Not only that, but there are so many different ways to understand how to meet women – there are so many different methods. My method is more based on natural conversational styles and real inner confidence, which happens to take a little bit longer to learn and to manifest.

There are other guys out there that teach “handy-dandy pick-up lines” that you can use in an instant – and that works for some guys. But you have to realize that everybody’s learning curve is different. Everybody has to learn at their own speed.

What a lot of guys fail to do is to embrace their small wins. They are always looking for the complete victory – it’s almost like it’s baseball preseason and you’re already thinking about being in the World Series – you don’t even want to play the full season, you’re just trying to get to the Series.

But you’ve got to get up to the plate everyday and take your swings, and you also have to be okay with fucking up! It’s really okay just to fuck up.

So you’ve walked over to a woman, you’ve approached her, and what you said didn’t resonate with her. It doesn’t mean that what you said to her was wrong; it means that you just didn’t resonate with her. There just wasn’t any chemistry.

You can’t manipulate every single situation to work in your favor. You have to be okay with screwing up. You have to say to yourself everyday, “okay I’m going to go out, and talk to ten women today, and some of them are just not going to like me” – but what are you trying to do? What are you trying to accomplish?

What you are trying to do is to find one or two women to have an amazing conversation with. If you really think about it, you can’t have chemistry with every person that you talk to. You just can’t. You really need to grasp your mind around that and understand that it’s okay to go out there and screw up.

If you go out there and screw up, it means that you are trying. If you are trying, then you are going to get it right, because if you practice, then you will start getting it right all the time.

You will start understanding situations better – you’ll start trusting your gut instinct. Most guys don’t trust their gut instinct when they first start out – they compare themselves to other people who are “better” than them – they just want to be that “better” person.

They never really think about what that “better” person went through – personally, I know what I went through, and it was YEARS of torture trying to figure this stuff out! In my 20s, I had days that were amazing, and I had days where I couldn’t even spit out the word “hello” to a woman. And I couldn’t figure out how I could be so good one day and so bad the next.

I used to take things personally. I would go and talk to a woman, and she just wouldn’t be interested, and I would think it was something that I did. But then I realized it wasn’t me, there just wasn’t any chemistry between us – she wasn’t vibing me, I wasn’t vibing her.

You’ve got to realize that whatever pace you are going at is the pace that’s right for you. As long as you are out there, every single day, trying – going out there, opening women up, flirting with women, talking with dudes (because you want to talk to guys too, so your conversation skills improve), listening – then you are doing well.

If you’re doing the three key elements: observing (opening somebody up with an observation you made about them), having a conversation (and a conversation means listening and not just talking at that person), and leaving that person with the feeling that you had a positive interaction together, then you are going to be doing things that are right.

But you have to give yourself that permission to go out there and screw up. Most guys don’t want to give themselves that permission. They think that if they don’t get this one girl, it’s all over – or they compare themselves to somebody else and they feel insecure. They say, “god, I’ve been doing this for a year!”

Think about this: how long does it take to become a good major league pitcher? Years, right? How long does it take to become Barry Bonds? Years and some good steroids, right?

How long does it take to put on a good campaign for President of the United States? Years! You are branding yourselves right now, and what you first have to realize is who you are, what you’re all about, what you stand for, and what type of people you attract.

It’s not about trying to win, and it’s not about being better than other people. You want to be the best that YOU can possibly be.

Todays video is the start of a series of videos of how to succeed in online dating. This information is something that match.com and all the dating sites don’t want you to know!!