So, we were just sitting around the other night reading a very scintillating magazine called Women’s Health.  I must say that the advice they give in there is about as ridiculous as can be.

One of the fascinating tid-bits “revealed” that women who drink up to two glasses of red wine per night are friskier. Wow, really?! Aren’t people who are drunk usually a little friskier?

I’m so glad people pay money to subscribe to this magazine so they can have access to this advice. Also, according to that article, these same women had a higher overall sex function scores. Sure, if I came home and I plowed my girl immediately (who had consumed two glasses of wine on an empty stomach), she probably would want to forego dinner and would have a higher sexual function time.

Another great revelation in this magazine was that couples who take vacations together have a greater sex life and better intimacy than those who don’t. No kidding! I mean, really, is it such a shock that your intimacy level will decrease if you spend 52 weeks a year sitting home watching the same television shows over and over again?

It went on to say that couples who stay in hotels when they go on vacation tend to have more sex. Boy, I’m so glad I picked up Women’s Health magazine so that I could learn that!

Another ground-breaking revelation was that feeling confident about yourself relaxes you during sex and will mean that you enjoy sex more. Really? I would have thought most people’s best sexual experiences happened when they were totally uptight and freaked out about the whole thing.

So what we learned from this is that sex is more enjoyable when you’re relaxed, and that feeling confident about yourself and your sexual desires relaxes you. Who would have thought?!

Here’s another one I thought was great: Women eat more when they’re alone than they do when they are with their man. We have know this since we went on our first date. We learn this at age 14.  

Women feel that men will find them more attractive if they don’t eat a lot. Personally, I don’t really care how much a woman eats as long as she looks good and is in great shape. If she’s like that, she can go pound the burgers with me all night long.  What does it matter?

You wonder about the woman who eats a bread crumb and yet is heavy.  You know the food is coming from somewhere at some point.  

These magazines, though, are just ridiculous. I’ve read dating advice in these magazines that is equally ridiculous. Those are the articles that want to give you “4 Ways To Be Confident On A Date,” and then will go on to tell you to just smile, be confident, say something funny and be sexy. Gee, that is so helpful!