Twenty-Eight Hours
October 22, 2008 
22 Comments
Have you ever spent time with somebody with whom you look forward to spending every minute? You know, in life it’s so interesting how we date and date and date and date even more – all in an effort to find that someone we look forward to hanging out with and with whom we want to spend every minute.
Have you ever spent twenty-eight hours with somebody and it felt like one minute? Twenty-eight hours in which the conversation never ceased to stop? Twenty-eight hours in which the excitement kept building and where the connection kept getting stronger as each minute passed?
Life is a gift. It’s time all of you started accepting the gift of life, because when you do what will happen is that you will actually start to meet people who are going to blow you away. When you’re open and you’re being honest, that is when you’re going to find someone who is also open and honest and then life is just going to seem to mesh.
You will be on the same page with this person about everything you think and feel. It’s amazing when you spend twenty-eight hours with somebody, and when they leave all you want to do is start another twenty-eight hours with them all over again. You don’t want that person to leave. You just want them to stay.
Of course we all have responsibilities in our lives. We all need to work. We all have things we need to do. We need to make money. We need to see our friends. We need to see our family. When someone leaves you after spending twenty-eight hours together and all you can think about is getting to spend twenty-nine (or even thirty-six) hours with them the next time you see them, however, you are in the midst of something amazing.
It’s about building. It’s about desire. It’s about experiencing someone so much that when they leave, you think about how amazing your time together was and look forward to more. That is what chemistry is all about.
Chemistry is about connecting with somebody on every level, and having a very peaceful feeling as you connect with them. It’s is knowing that whatever you say is safe. It is knowing that whatever you’re feeling, they are on the same page with you.
Every word that is said and every moment that is exchanged is building a memory. It’s building things the two of you can talk about in the future. It is the foundation of a relationship.
The first few months you are hanging with someone is building the foundation for what you hope will be an amazing relationship for a long time. So for those of you who are dating someone new, enjoy every moment and every memory because those memories and moments are precious.
There will be a time when you will no longer see that person for twenty-eight hours and will see them all the time. You’ll be so entwined in each other’s lives, and you’ll get there naturally. You’ll get there because each twenty-eight hour period is building the desire to spend more time with each other, to get to know each other better, and to experience more and more of each other.
Connecting with another soul on a deep level like this is amazing and is the best feeling you could ever have, because it’s a connection with no thought process that is 100% natural. That feeling is something that is really going to last and which will really build into more intense feelings.
I think the greatest thing you can have in life is being so content with yourself and so happy, that you are able to truly think about someone else and how you feel about them. I must admit that it’s addicting, and it’s an addiction that everyone needs to feel.
What are your thoughts on this? Are you dating someone about whom you feel this way? If you are dating someone and you don’t have this feeling about them, then you need to move on because this feeling is one that we all need to experience.
There is no other feeling you should experience with someone, because if you’re not feeling this way it means that you’re not connecting with that person on enough of a deep and soulful level. It’s all right if you discover you’re not with someone for whom you feel this way, because you can feel confident that if you move on that there is someone out there waiting for you with whom you will experience this feeling.
If you believe that this type of connection with someone is possible, it will show up. When it does, you need to embrace it because that person could be the love of your life. You’ve got to embrace every little moment of it, because the more you do the better it becomes.
hi. i have a clever question. I love talking to women and doing the whole thing. But. i also dont like to waste my time with women who already have a boyfriend or partner. My question is to everyone out there, especially david. What do i do in order to make weed-out that women who already are seeing someone, so i dont spend 40 minutes with her just to find out at the end that she is seeing someone? This question should save a lot of time for everyone out there, Thank you..by the way this website is the best website ever created for relationships. period.
I have never really spent 28 hours with any man I have ever been in a relationship with, nor with any man I have ever had dates with. The longest I was able to spend with a boyfriend was 16 hours and that’s it. Can’t talk about the present because I’m not in the dating scene nowadays.
Anyways, I did however experienced 28 hours with my female college bestfriend. I met her when I was in music school. And by the way I’m 100% straight in case ya’ll would wonder. So yeah, back to one of my fave 5. For us, we were like inseparable. We were classmates, same major, same religion, and we lived close from each other. A lot of times she would let me stay over if she and her roommate are in bad terms, and we would just talk the whole night till the sun comes up and we’d eat breakfast together, you know stuff like that. We always did so many things together. That was the only friendship I have ever had that really showed me how real friends function in terms of through thick and thin, no matter what. We became bestfriends August ’04, and since I left for the US april ’05, we’re still solid friends until today. It’s funny coz’ sometimes when we talk about fights with our own boyfriends or about dates that simply didn’t work, we’d joke that maybe we’re both meant for each other. And then we’d laugh and say nahhhhh I still prefer to be with a man in bed coz’ a man is more fun. Hahaha lol…
It is true, that being able to spend 28 hours with someone, or shall we say 16 hours or more with someone, whether it be with a date, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or a bestfriend, is indeed amazing. It’s one of those few moments we should grab right away once we have the chance to do so, because it doesn’t come on time, it’s not like it’s every Thanksgiving where we’d know when to celebrate. It’s unpredictable, and it doesn’t happen to a lot of people. Sometimes it just takes years till it happens to us. And when it does, don’t throw it away coz’ it’s priceless and it’s a one in a milion experience.
Funny you should write about this today of all days, because tommorrow afternoon I will be leaving to spend 3 full days and nights with a very special woman. Yes YES YES we canot get enough and Yes it is addiction!!
David , you say it so much better than i ever could. It is absolutely about honesty , and connection…. and this weekend it will about creating memories.
Hope you all get to experience something as wonderful as David describes (and obviously HE is enjoying it too!)
Great post as always.
Junior,
Have you ever tried just asking the woman if she’s in a relationship?
And don’t mean saying stuff like “do you have a boyfriend?” in a way that seems needy or creates a double bind for her.
But you can ask her something along the lines of “What’s your dating life like?” and frame it as though you’re just curious and enjoy talking about relationships.
In my experience this can be done fairly early on at times as long as the vibe is right. Maybe try playing around with it a bit.
The only person I’ve had this kind of non-stop spending time/fun/talking connection like this with is my best friend. I keep telling her I have to find her as a boy! And I know a ton of guys who, if their best friend was a girl, they’d be married for sure. It’s not easy to find these kinds of connections. That’s awesome you found it w/ someone great, David!
To Taras. Thanks. youve been much help. i have a question for you Taras OR ANYONE out there that can help me……maybe u can help. Im a Hispanic male and i go to a university where their are many white females. I am sort of intimidated a little at times when i would want to approach them and start a conversation. Can you help me here?
Junior, I think the best way is to ask indirectly in the first five minutes or so. For example, ask something like what does your boyfriend think about that or if they have a ring on their wedding finger ask what her husband thinks about something about her. I usually do this and it accomplishes three things. First, she will say what the boyfriend or husband thinks or they will say they are not seeing anyone (so now you know her relationship status, that is the first thing it accomplishes). The second is that you are letting her know that you think she is interesting enough for someone to want to be in a relationship with her and she is not thinking that you think this way because of her looks because you have looked into her eyes not her chest, and have shown interest in what she thinks and who she is vs checking her out like most other guys. The third thing this accomplishes is just awesome, ( remember that you should ask this after the two of you have been having a good conversation for a little bit NOT in the first minute! find out if you like her) When you ask what her boyfriend thinks about something about her, a woman will say “I am not seeing anyone right now” and you two are staring right at each other when she says it. To me this is a perfect moment to be in because if she keeps talking to you after she says this to you it feels like she paved the groundwork for you to ask her for her phone number because you came up and started a conversation about what she was doing, got her to talk about herself and then SHE TOLD YOU that she is not seeing anyone but you didn’t even ask( AND a fourth thing it does is now she thinks that you talked to her just to have a fun conversation you didn’t come up to her hoping she was single!). The vibe that that statement sends out 4 out of 5 times is ” I am not seeing anyone and you are being different than every other guy you should ask me to hang out sometime because I have no ties right now”. I hope this helped
I keep wanting to add more to this… so when she tells you that she is not seeing anyone don’t tell her that you are not seeing anyone either, that sounds needy, make it fun, don’t tell her, see if she asks you if you are seeing anyone. That is a great feeling to have a woman ask you if you are seeing anyone. But if she never asks you its still ok because you can still be the man and ask her for her phone number or like David says WALK AWAY. She will probably seek you out or when you do run into each other again she will make sure she is not going to make the mistake of letting you get away again or it will be super easy for you to ask for her number then because she just approached you and you two are comfortable with each other.
what should i do when the girl i like invite me to the movie with 1 of her GUY FRIEND ????>….should i just go along or back out???, cuz i feel weird and awkward! …some1 help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NICE WILLIAM. u sort of just refreshed my memory. u know what i sort of knew this already. its just that i have been in college and my mind tends to direct in just reading books….i used to know this tactic of asking indirectly. i used to ask women things like ” so i can wait for my birthday, whens ur birthday?, So what did ur bouyfriend get u for your last bday?”….so william, do you think you can help me with my fear of approach towards white women?!?!?!? also i dont seem to have much time these days cus i gotta study so much…..thanks for all your guys help.
Jeff
That is amazing that you are feeling this,
It is by far the best feeling that i have ever experienced in my life!!
Have a great weekend!!
David
Junior – You might consider another point of view. Having a 40 minute conversation with someone that might go no further isn’t a waste of time. A good 40 minute conversation is a nice thing all by itself. Just relax, be yourself, have a conversation, and try to have no agenda. If you’re focusing so hard on finding out if she’s available you won’t really be listening to her and truly participating in the conversation. I am a firm believer that you get out of something what you put into it, and if you want to make a strong connection with someone it can take time. If she takes the time to talk to you for 40 minutes she’s very likely interested in getting to know you better.
THANKS ADAM. Do you think you can help me with the fear of approaching white women. I have absolutely no fear approaching all other kind of women. Its just that approaching white women (whom i am HIGHLY attracted to) seems to be tougher for me. How can i over come this or what should i do? I tend to see white women as smarter, way-better looking, higher class, most-wanted, and untouchable. How do i get over these ideas?
Junior..
First of all, please don’t think that I’m insulting you, coz’ I’m not. I’m just being honest, I say what’s on my mind.
So, how do you get over those ideas? just get over them. They may be white but they’re still women, the only difference is their race. No matter how we all gonna encourage you, it ain’t gonna work if you’re not gonna do it yourself, seriously. Forget about the fact that they’re white. Erase it from your mind that they’re white. Relax! Don’t overthink about what they may be like or how they’re gonna react because they’re white. Remember, they’re still women. So go and talk to one of them, relax, and just be yourself. If you have no fear approaching other women, then for sure you can also approach the white women as well.
Is anyone out there still in the college scene? cuz whut im trying to do is do good in school but at the same time, make efficient time and efficient efforts to meet women, so i can find myself a girlfriend. Anyone out there know how to SAVE some time while in college, so i can make time to make a girlfriend?
Junior,
Regarding your statement:
“I am sort of intimidated a little at times when i would want to approach them and start a conversation. Can you help me here?”
I recommend listening to David’s Men’s Mastery Audio Series and taking his Bootcamp for Men. It will help you with your confidence.
Daniel
and again, i have yet to feel like this about any girls….. sometimes i think i know it all,
and stuff like this shove my age and immaturity right back at my throat ; )
Yo, Rey, are you just thinking about sex? Think of girls as bestest bestest friends, like David, you freaking have so much fun together, just loving the funny moments and killing time.
That is the way it should be with a girl you will start feeling amazing about one, unless you are depressed. Hang 10 bra.
OMG – I have not experienced this yet, David… I do think that there is someone in my life right now that I can experience this with but haven’t given into it yet. The reason is b/c this is a hard time in my life right now and I feel like I should wait until I am clear headed enough first. that person is on the same path but we are both experiencing the same feelings and learning the same things at the same time. I am not sure what this is exactly but it seems that we are running alongside of each other. I get those funny feelings in my stomach everytime I see him and get that feeling of joy. I even forget that people are talking around me and really just want to talk to him. We haven’t connected yet though, but I feel as if that is coming. I am just holding myself back.
I get so scared and can’t get outta my head! I’ve been practicing flirting and talking to other people and all & am doing really well at it! I just can’t let myself go totally yet! It really is aggravating – any thoughts? I listened to Deepak chopra’s Book of Secrets and it was talking about the ego being the thing that holds us back from experiencing life at times. What is a good way to let the ego go??? Meditation? Or talking to more people?
Sounds like the planets aligned for someone, DW…it just goes to show the rest of us that we have a ways to go. You can’t get that lucky until you leave yourself open to it.
and Junior – yesterday’s eye contact and SMILE plus today’s nod and smile and ‘hi’ could be tomorrow’s 28 hours for you. Stop backing away because she is involved (or white)…she’s not dead and neither are you. It will give you good practice to get through the initial stages of a new contact until you feel more comfortable doing it with anyone. You don’t have to hit on a woman to make contact and for both of you to enjoy it. And yesterday’s unavailable object of your desire could be tomorrow’s girl seeking out that guy who always smiled at her and said ‘hi’ in passing. Go with the flow and enjoy yourself and her – even for that moment! If you are too heavily invested in the outcome of every piddling contact you have, you will lose, major big-time – and you will never feel comfortable with anyone new. Try to have fun with it and enjoy ALL of it. Consider it your own personal boot camp and no one has to know except you…and all of us! Tell us what you found.
Gabrielle – maybe it would help to remember that your personal worth does not equate to your comfort zone. Being embarrassed or looking foolish is OK. When you don’t mind being perceived in that way (even for just a little while), it relieves a lot of the anxiety. Even then it doesn’t mean that you will never experience those things again. Over-thinking things makes us fearful. Don’t bet the farm on the outcome of any encounter. The journey is the fun part, not the end.
I am in a relationship with an amazing woman, and we both feel like David described-it is absolutely incredible! I’m 52, she’s 50, we’ve been thru the good and bad of life and learned some valuable lessons along the way that are making this the best time of our lives. It feels like our spirits have known each other for a long, long time. We are so connected at every level! We both work full time and sometimes it is a challenge to get together, but we grab every moment that we can. I hope that everyone here has an opportunity to experience what we have-what a gift!
I have known this women for over a dozen years and I’m totally in love with her and have told her so! In those years we have gone out and have had nothing but great times when we’re togather. However, everytime it looks like we may go to the next level in a relationship she runs!! We stay intouch but end up in other relationship and then we end up back seeing each other again when those end. This has happened at least 3 different times but we always stay in touch. The last time she ran we have continued to talk on the phone everyday and talk almost more then married couple’s do. The questions I have are the following; 1 do I scare her or intimadate when we’re togather or 2 is she afraid that if we take the relationship to the next level that if it fails she will loss me as a friend (will not happen from my side)-3- is she afraid that she does not deserve to be in love with someone who is totally in love with her and just’s wants to make her happy? I’m totally different then the men she has been with in the past who have abused her and miss treated her both pyshically and emotionally. I have never been so confussed and not known what to do in my entire life. All I want is to spend the rest of my life with her!!!!!!! Please someone HELP me?
RE: Junior
Just because you are attracted to white women general doesn’t mean you will have chemistry with the individual, similar to ANY woman you meet. My advice, for what it’s worth, is to take a step back and think about this before initiating conversation: What if you just went up to a white woman with the intention of getting to know her over the next 10 minutes and find out if YOU are attracted to her for more than face value. Would it be so bad to start making friends with these “elusive” white women, even if there isn’t a connection with the first 1,5, or 100? I get the feeling like you don’t think you are good enough in some way for them, which is ridiculous. Stop shooting arrows at yourself.
RE: Joe
Question 1: Is it fun to play poker with someone when you can see ALL of their cards? My guess is that she values your relationship, but you are not fulfilling her emotional needs somehow. When she sees you with other women, your body language is different than when you are professing your love for her. You are not leaving her wanting more, so she is going to turn to other things that can fulfill her needs, and not one of those needs is a whipping boy she can control and knows will call her every night before he goes to sleep. Stop being predictable and be exciting. I don’t think you intimidate her, I believe she feels she intimidates you.
Question 2: I don’t know how the psychology works exactly, but from my experience you are not being the person she wants to fall in love with. You are being the awesome friend she can always count on. Once you are in this category, it is extremely difficult to change her perception of you. The harder you try, the more likely you are going to lose her as a friend, too. It sucks, I’ve been there.
Question 3: I’m not really sure about this one… seems like everyone would want to be happy, her path may just be a little different?
DISCLAIMER: I have no relationship education other than Life.