It’s funny. Why are so many sex terms so bizarre?

Who came up with the term “blow job?” Isn’t it really a suck job? Why the hell did they ever call it a blow job?

A blow job is really a suck job. I never understood that. Can I have a blow job, please? Well, fine. Then take your pants down and I’ll just blow on your penis. I mean it’s like so many of these terms make no sense at all.

Take the term “going down on a woman.” Going down on a woman is really going to her feet, as that is where down is.

How about cunnilingus. It sounds like you’re talking about an Irish woman named Connie Lingus. I never understood how Connie Lingus got the term for oral sex on a woman named after her.

What about a “hand job?” Now this one actually kind of makes sense, because it is the woman’s hand doing a job.

Isn’t sex, however, supposed to be fun? Why are there so many things sex-related that have the word “job” associated with them?

It’s also funny how when they are things a woman does they are called jobs, but not in the terms describing what men do. Women give hand jobs and blow jobs. They make them seem like awful things.

So when a woman goes down on a man it’s called a blow job, but yet when a man goes down on a woman it’s just called ‘going down on her.’ It almost makes it seem like the woman is being forced to do it.

Isn’t it just as fun for a woman to go down on a guy as it is for a guy to go down on a woman. Now I know there are some women who do consider that a job, but it’s probably the same percentage as the percentage of men who find going down on a woman to be a job.

What about the term “making out?” What are you making out exactly? I mean, isn’t this just tonsil hockey, kissing or swapping spit (all of which terms make more sense than ‘making out’)? It makes no sense to me.

Then there’s the famous “feel her up.” Alright, you’re feeling her up where? I mean, just like I said about going down, wouldn’t the “up” really be the top of her head? So, really, aren’t you just touching the top of her head if you ‘feel her up?’

Another term I love is “banging her.” You’re banging her? Where does the banging come into play? How do you bang somebody?

Banging is the sound a gun makes. Your dick doesn’t really go bang when it’s inside a woman. Granted, there is the sound of flesh pounding against flesh. So, really, ‘pounding her’ would be more accurate.

Sex terms are sometimes outright hilarious. Take the term “f*^k the shit out of her.” Really, you did? Who cleaned up the mess afterwards? I mean, that is disgusting. I hope you had the Charmin next to you at the time.

How about “she rode the hell out of me?” Really? I didn’t know you were a devil who had hell inside of you. So when you say she rode the hell out of you, did horns come out of the top of your head while she was doing it? Too bad she can’t ride the heaven out of you, so that you could be smiling and happy when she’s on top of you.

Then there’s having sex “doggie style.” About the last thing I want to think about when I am entering someone from behind is two dogs f^*king.

Welcome to the world of funny sex terms. I’m sure I missed a few, but this was a good tour down funny sex terminology lane.