Shogo and I were speaking at our Art of Communication and Seduction seminar in New York last weekend. We talked the whole second day of the seminar on the topic of seduction. One of my favorite quotes we came up with: Women look at sex like a marathon, but guys look at it like a horse race.

I think guys look at sex as if they were at the Kentucky Derby. The woman gets naked. She’s standing there in front of the gates, ready to go. The guy’s all geared up in the pen ready to go. Have you ever seen a race horse, when he’s all penned up and he’s about to go? All of a sudden, the gun shoots off and you hear dun-dun-dun-dun-dun, aaaaand it’s off they go.

Sex Is Like A Horse Race

Or you’re at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway and you hear, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” And all you hear is the sound off all that horsepower rearing to go.

It seems like guys are always in a race—not with each other—but with the woman they’re with. The minute they see a naked woman, it’s almost like they hear this: “Gentlemen, start your erections!” Literally the second a guy gets hard, all he wants to do is be let out of the gate, start up his erection, and run for the finish like Seabiscuit.

And what’s the result? Three minutes of lightning-quick humping and a cloud of sperm. Men need to understand that women love the art of seduction. We go through this at our seminar.

She loves it slow. She loves it when a man takes his time and isn’t in a hurry to get to the finish line. She loves a man who is in control of himself and knows that they will get there soon enough.

What she positively doesn’t love is a guy who meets her, talks to her for 15 seconds, looks at her with a face full of anxiety and goes, “Give me your number, we should get together! Do you want to go out with me? Do you want to do something sometime?” Meanwhile, so far you’ve talked to her about nothing but the weather. Yeah, that’s exactly who she wants to hang with: a guy who she can talk about the weather with. What a great date that is going to be for her. You can talk about cold fronts, humidity, so many exciting things you have in common.

Men always want to rush the process; they want to rush the process from the second they first approach to the second they have sex. They just really want to make it happen. Women look at sex like a marathon. It’s a slow, steady journey, you have to pace yourself, and you have to finish strong. Start thinking about the art of seduction. Start seducing women properly, in a way that’s enjoyable for both sexes. Start making sex last, and they’ll come back for an encore.