Got an email the other day from Eddie in Australia.

Eddie asked me:

Dave,

What does it mean when a woman says she ‘just doesn’t feel it’?

. . .

Well, Eddie, it means the same thing that it means to you.

It’s black and white, dude.

It means she isn’t feeling your sexual energy.

You’re not triggering attraction in her.

You’re not creating desire in her.

You’re not making her want you.

She looks at you like you’re a friend, a brother, the guy that works at the grocery store.

She doesn’t feel it because you have not created it in her.

Now let’s take this a little deeper:

Sometimes, even when you do try to create attraction—meaning you’re present, you listen to her, you talk to her, you’ve got great eye contact, strong body language, you touch her—she still may not feel it.

But at least if you go in and you do all those things, good eye contact, strong body language, conviction in your voice, listen to what she says, being a good conversationalist, holding her hand, grabbing her hand, touching her, whatever it might be, and if she still doesn’t feel it…at least then you were acting like a man should.

But, if you just don’t do anything, sit across from her and make no moves on her whatsoever, putting out insecure nervous energy around her, she isn’t going to feel it no matter what.

So, at least if you go in guns-a-blazin’, out to conquer what you want, what you desire, and what you need…

You’ve got a fighting chance.

If she still doesn’t feel it—so what? There are plenty of other women out there.  Have an abundant mindset when it comes to dating.

I like the old saying:

Some will. Some won’t. SO WHAT.

It just doesn’t matter; there are so many women out there.  But once again, it’s about how you conduct yourself as a man in the world of dating.  Strong body language, great eye contact, listening to what she has to say, being a good conversationalist.

And most importantly: not being afraid of physical touch. When you feel like touching her, touch her in a very nice way.

Touch her back when you’re walking out through a restaurant, hold the door open for her, grab her hand when you walk across the street. When you end the date, give her a hug.  Don’t be afraid of physical contact.  Don’t be afraid to try to kiss her on the lips.

At least if you do all those things and she still says she ‘doesn’t feel it’, at least you were a man about the way you conducted yourself in dating.

Be a man.