Comments on: It’s All About Respect http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Thu, 24 May 2012 21:46:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Unch http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-26385 Unch Tue, 21 Apr 2009 02:10:20 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-26385 I'm glad I saw this, kudos! I’m glad I saw this, kudos!

]]> By: Khiem (DW Coach) http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-25302 Khiem (DW Coach) Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:32:26 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-25302 When it comes to flaking... I have one personal rule for myself. I like to consider my time as a gift to someone. When I decide to meet someone, I'm not trying to get anything from them. I want to bring fun and joy to people around me... so if someone is flaking on me... I just retract my attention from them. They just showed themselves undeserving of me. It's not about punishing them... it's really about having self respect for yourself. You decide who is worthy, who deserves to spend time with you. Most people just need to respect themselves more... and once they do, they'll surprisingly get less flakes. When it comes to flaking… I have one personal rule for myself.

I like to consider my time as a gift to someone. When I decide to meet someone, I’m not trying to get anything from them. I want to bring fun and joy to people around me… so if someone is flaking on me… I just retract my attention from them. They just showed themselves undeserving of me.

It’s not about punishing them… it’s really about having self respect for yourself. You decide who is worthy, who deserves to spend time with you.

Most people just need to respect themselves more… and once they do, they’ll surprisingly get less flakes.

]]> By: Gabrielle http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24988 Gabrielle Thu, 26 Mar 2009 01:10:46 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24988 Thank you for clearing that up! I hate it when people are texting in front of me while they are talking to me! Ugh! I make it a rule NOT to do that to ANYONE (even if they are boring)!!!! Someone's gotta say the golden rule: don't do it if you don't want it done to you! I thought that about the time thing too and it's so true. The person who I'd really like to be around would be all into me and want to be with me anytime and not text other people in front of me during our time together! Thank you for clearing that up! I hate it when people are texting in front of me while they are talking to me! Ugh! I make it a rule NOT to do that to ANYONE (even if they are boring)!!!! Someone’s gotta say the golden rule: don’t do it if you don’t want it done to you! I thought that about the time thing too and it’s so true. The person who I’d really like to be around would be all into me and want to be with me anytime and not text other people in front of me during our time together!

]]> By: Cyn http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24942 Cyn Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:40:36 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24942 Wow...this whole idea of "punishing" sounds very passive-aggressive and a bit creepy. What a way to start things out- by starting a retaliatory relationship instead of simply asking why they are late. If they do it more than once, break things off or tell them nicely that it puts you out. It's no wonder there are some real dicks out there in the dating world if they're following some of these "gurus"... As for texting and cells on dates, unless it is an emergency or you're on call (as mentioned earlier) set the phone to vibrate. I want a guy's undivided attention and to give him mine in return, so I bury the phone in my purse. Just about anything can wait a few hours. And believe me, a guy who texts or takes a call during a date definitely lowers his chance of a second date. It's so uncomfortable sitting at a table while someone jabbers on the phone. Wow…this whole idea of “punishing” sounds very passive-aggressive and a bit creepy. What a way to start things out- by starting a retaliatory relationship instead of simply asking why they are late. If they do it more than once, break things off or tell them nicely that it puts you out. It’s no wonder there are some real dicks out there in the dating world if they’re following some of these “gurus”…

As for texting and cells on dates, unless it is an emergency or you’re on call (as mentioned earlier) set the phone to vibrate. I want a guy’s undivided attention and to give him mine in return, so I bury the phone in my purse. Just about anything can wait a few hours. And believe me, a guy who texts or takes a call during a date definitely lowers his chance of a second date. It’s so uncomfortable sitting at a table while someone jabbers on the phone.

]]> By: Taryn http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24920 Taryn Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:48:38 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24920 I agree way to many people text on dates. I put my phone on vibrate and the only place I will check it is if I have to go to the bathroom and its usually just because I date a lot of guys after meeting them online and my best friend checks on me to make sure I havent been murdered lol. But I always wait to be alone to text back. I had a guy this past Saturday take me to one of his favorite places and took a picture of his food and sent a picture text to his cousin to rub it in that he was at their favorite place. I was not impressed by the distraction. I agree way to many people text on dates. I put my phone on vibrate and the only place I will check it is if I have to go to the bathroom and its usually just because I date a lot of guys after meeting them online and my best friend checks on me to make sure I havent been murdered lol. But I always wait to be alone to text back. I had a guy this past Saturday take me to one of his favorite places and took a picture of his food and sent a picture text to his cousin to rub it in that he was at their favorite place. I was not impressed by the distraction.

]]> By: Peter http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24918 Peter Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:27:36 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24918 This is a great topic. I'm of an age that my dating life began before mobile phones were introduced, but now all of the girls I date have known nothing else. So whilst many of us may find it rude that people take calls and read and reply to texts whilst they're with other people, for most there is little social stigma to doing this. Of course, I do hate it when a girl is constantly seeing to her phone whilst we're out - that usually doesn't last too long. Funnily enough I saw a girl a couple of weeks back who is (unfortunately) currently in a relationship - as per David's posts on this, I'm biding my time. Anyway, at the end of the 'date' she realised that her boyfriend had sent 4 texts over the preceding 3-4 hours that she hadn't replied to. We were either having a great conversation or she just has great manners. :) This is a great topic. I’m of an age that my dating life began before mobile phones were introduced, but now all of the girls I date have known nothing else. So whilst many of us may find it rude that people take calls and read and reply to texts whilst they’re with other people, for most there is little social stigma to doing this. Of course, I do hate it when a girl is constantly seeing to her phone whilst we’re out – that usually doesn’t last too long.

Funnily enough I saw a girl a couple of weeks back who is (unfortunately) currently in a relationship – as per David’s posts on this, I’m biding my time. Anyway, at the end of the ‘date’ she realised that her boyfriend had sent 4 texts over the preceding 3-4 hours that she hadn’t replied to. We were either having a great conversation or she just has great manners. :)

]]> By: DanTheOriginal http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24917 DanTheOriginal Wed, 25 Mar 2009 12:19:37 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24917 I turn off my cell phone when I am in a meeting with a client, nothing will take away from my time with them! If you are on a date and you do not turn off your cell phone ,and it beeps, I won't mind at all if the lady says "Excuse me, this is a very important phone call I was expecting, can I answer it please?'. Of course it would be real nice if you warn your date before the date starts that you are expecting a very important phone call. I have developed this email obsession and check it with my phone frequently. But I try hard not to do it when other people are around, they must think I am such a jerk if, while being in a conversation, I "pull it out" :-) and check my email! It is true that with all the tech mania going on we are losing lots of human interactions and eventually connections. This may sound flip but I wonder if anyone read manifesto of the Unabomber...makes a great reading of an obviously sick person but whose ideas and consequences we are facing and are going to face in the coming years. >>>>>>Sometimes I wonder how many guys have asked themselves where did Juliet go? I wonder that myself every day with my wife:-) People change, life happens, kids come into play, lbs get added, playfullness is missed...But you make the best of it and, as David says, it really helps to concentrate on the present:-) I turn off my cell phone when I am in a meeting with a client, nothing will take away from my time with them! If you are on a date and you do not turn off your cell phone ,and it beeps, I won’t mind at all if the lady says “Excuse me, this is a very important phone call I was expecting, can I answer it please?’. Of course it would be real nice if you warn your date before the date starts that you are expecting a very important phone call.

I have developed this email obsession and check it with my phone frequently. But I try hard not to do it when other people are around, they must think I am such a jerk if, while being in a conversation, I “pull it out” :-) and check my email!

It is true that with all the tech mania going on we are losing lots of human interactions and eventually connections. This may sound flip but I wonder if anyone read manifesto of the Unabomber…makes a great reading of an obviously sick person but whose ideas and consequences we are facing and are going to face in the coming years.

>>>>>>Sometimes I wonder how many guys have asked themselves where did Juliet go?

I wonder that myself every day with my wife:-) People change, life happens, kids come into play, lbs get added, playfullness is missed…But you make the best of it and, as David says, it really helps to concentrate on the present:-)

]]> By: K http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24914 K Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:56:32 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24914 It's different when you're truly on-call for your job (even if you're NOT a doctor) or you have small children, but geez - what did people do before cell phones, texting, IM, beepers, etc? Probably had a good time when they went out. It's like being with someone for lunch or a movie and they are unable to be out-of-touch even for a few hours. It's ridiculous - no one is that damn important. I don't do that to my family or my social circle and I wouldn't do it to a stranger that I'm just getting to know....it's beyond disrespectful. And I certainly would not accept that type of behavior on the flip side. I've actually been on call for my job over the holidays, weekends, and in the middle of the night and as long as everyone knows up front - no harm and no foul. Ditto for people that I've been with but honesty is everything. But if you're like that all of the time, then you are clearly too busy for me...and I'm not even particularly demanding otherwise. Your loss - not mine. It’s different when you’re truly on-call for your job (even if you’re NOT a doctor) or you have small children, but geez – what did people do before cell phones, texting, IM, beepers, etc? Probably had a good time when they went out.

It’s like being with someone for lunch or a movie and they are unable to be out-of-touch even for a few hours. It’s ridiculous – no one is that damn important. I don’t do that to my family or my social circle and I wouldn’t do it to a stranger that I’m just getting to know….it’s beyond disrespectful. And I certainly would not accept that type of behavior on the flip side.

I’ve actually been on call for my job over the holidays, weekends, and in the middle of the night and as long as everyone knows up front – no harm and no foul. Ditto for people that I’ve been with but honesty is everything. But if you’re like that all of the time, then you are clearly too busy for me…and I’m not even particularly demanding otherwise. Your loss – not mine.

]]> By: Bertie http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24913 Bertie Wed, 25 Mar 2009 05:10:58 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24913 So what should you do if you're phoned or texted by one of the most important people in the world to you while you're on a date. I'm really close with my family, and the one time it has happened, I did need to know what was going on in order to straighten out the brothers. I apologized and told him I had to straighten out kid issues. He was actually really great about it, and I still see him when I'm in the bay. What I'd like to know is why the incessant need to text? I've had a couple of different men text me incessantly attempting to have these long drawn out conversations via text messaging. It seems like this huge waste of time to me when we could just talk on the phone or see one another in person. So what should you do if you’re phoned or texted by one of the most important people in the world to you while you’re on a date. I’m really close with my family, and the one time it has happened, I did need to know what was going on in order to straighten out the brothers. I apologized and told him I had to straighten out kid issues. He was actually really great about it, and I still see him when I’m in the bay. What I’d like to know is why the incessant need to text? I’ve had a couple of different men text me incessantly attempting to have these long drawn out conversations via text messaging. It seems like this huge waste of time to me when we could just talk on the phone or see one another in person.

]]> By: Coach Kimberly http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/tuesday-qa/1427/#comment-24910 Coach Kimberly Wed, 25 Mar 2009 04:04:29 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=1427#comment-24910 I find this phenomena of lack of respect be particularly true in this day and age. Both scenarios whether it is flakiness or texting are signs of self absorption. Both things have to do with people being so absorbed in their own worlds and not thinking outside themselves and how the other person might feel. In order for any relationship to work, you have to think about how your actions might effect the other person. So Sandra--you are so right about how things should be equal and reciprocal! I find this phenomena of lack of respect be particularly true in this day and age. Both scenarios whether it is flakiness or texting are signs of self absorption. Both things have to do with people being so absorbed in their own worlds and not thinking outside themselves and how the other person might feel. In order for any relationship to work, you have to think about how your actions might effect the other person. So Sandra–you are so right about how things should be equal and reciprocal!

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