Touching You Touching Me
January 6, 2008 
139 Comments
Online Seduction By David Wygant
You know, I’ve been asked many times how to create online seduction. When I’m talking about online seduction, I’m not talking about you getting the initial contact with a woman and taking her on a date. I’m talking about seducing her late at night and getting her to come over.
It takes a couple of things to do this. First off, one of the things you need to realize is that if you’re online on a dating site late at night after say 10:00 p.m. and you connect with a woman at that time, you need to quickly – immediately – get her to instant message with you.
It’s a two-step process. One, there’s some websites like jdate.com that have instant message right away (which is fantastic!). But let’s say you’re on Yahoo! Personals or match.com or lavalife.com or date.com, or one of those.
Let’s say a woman contacts you first, and she writes something like “Nice profile.” You write back to her immediately if you’re online. Because what’s happening here is she’s fishing . . . if she’s fishing late at night, it probably means she’s bored. She might also be a little horny too, you never know. So you just need to play around a little bit.
Below is an actual email exchange with a woman that I met online last summer when the weather was really hot.
What you need to do is immediately email her back and say:
You: “Yeah, I like your profile too.”
And then you bust her on something. Let’s say there’s something in her profile that says she’s spontaneous and daring. So you’ll then write
You: “Are you spontaneous and daring really? ‘Cause everybody writes that.”
Send it . . . immediately challenge her. By challenging her, she’s going to respond to you immediately. If she responds to you right away, she will likely say something like this:
Her: “Yes I am spontaneous and daring. Do you want me to prove it?”
You know, they’re always about proving it. Then you say:
You: “Yes I do. Send me your IM screen name right now, and I’ll send
you and instant message and we’ll chat.”
So immediately she’ll send you back the IM screen name. So now what you’ve done is set up a daring exchange with her.
It doesn’t matter if you use the “daring/spontaneous” exchange with her. There’s a lot of different ways to get her attention. But the bottom line is that if a woman emails you late at night, say after 10:00 p.m., she’s up for an IM session. She’s not up for a LONG email exchange back and forth . . . she’s up late and feeling a little frisky, so you’re playing the odds.
So what needs to happen next is you’ve got to create tension with her. Now let’s say you’re on instant message and you say:
You: “Wow, you really are a daring person.”
Congratulate her for being daring. Congratulate her for coming out a little bit. So she’ll instant message you back and say:
Her: “See, I told you I am.”
What you need to do now is IMMEDIATELY take it out of the small talk range. See, most guys will keep it in the small talk range here and get into a boring conversation about work, the weather, or about other things. What I do is I like to push the gusto.
So congratulate her a little bit for being daring. Then, instead of talking small talk like most guys do, don’t play it safe. Most guys play it safe. Women are looking for guys who take control. Most women are looking for guys who want to be the leader. Women want you to be the leader. Women want you to be daring.
Women want you to be confident. That’s what they’re looking for, so what you need to do is open her up a little bit and say:
You: “Yeah, I’m glad that you’re a little daring, but IM is nothing. I’ll tell
you what, do you want to have some fun tonight?”
She’ll respond and say:
Her: “Absolutely.”
Of course she wants to have fun. You’re getting inside her head! She’s been bored. She’s been sitting around her house just like you have all night long. She wants to have a good time. You don’t know yet what she wants or what type of good time she wants to have, but you have to push the envelope. A strong guy will push the envelope. A strong guy lead her down the path she where wants to go, and you’ll create tension to build the steps. So you’re not going to play it safe like every other guy.
So you’re going to go back to the instant message, and you’re going to say:
You: “OK . . . Have you ever played IM truth or dare?”
Her: “No. What is that?”
You: “Well basically what it’s ’20 Questions,’ but ALL questions
have to be something that’s different, interesting and daring.
You can’t ask any boring questions.”
Her: “Like what?”
You: “Boring questions . . . like about work, family life. It’s got
to be about something interesting and exciting – about
something you’ve always wanted to ask a guy.”
You’re leading her a little bit. And then what she’ll say next is:
Her: “OK.”
You: “OK? I thought you were daring and spontaneous.”
Throw it back at her. She’ll say:
Her: “Yeah, yeah – I’m daring and spontaneous!”
You: “Good. That’s the attitude I like. Now, being a gentleman
like my Mother always taught me, I want you to go first.”
Now what you’re telling her is that you’re a gentleman by letting her go first. There’s a lot of subliminal stuff in here. There’s a lot of subliminal mind teasing.
Nine times out of ten, she will come back at you with some kind of sexual remark. Meaning things like “What do you like to do?” or “What type of sex do you like to have?” or “What’s your favorite position?”
Now, what you need to do is get very creative here. Because most guys would write back and say something very caveman-like and very sexual and in response to a question about his favorite position say something like “I like to pound a woman on top.” No, no, no!! You have to speak woman-talk. You’ve got to be able to seduce her and tease her. Women are all about very visual things described in words.
So let’s say a woman asks me what my favorite sexual position is. What I’m going to do is I’m going to get her so hot right now that her mind is going to be on fire which will turn her body on fire. I’m going to describe a very hot, sensual, erotic massage. I’ll say:
You: “I love to give a hot, sensual, erotic massage.”
And what I’ll do is describe it detail by detail . . . talking about how I love to flip her on her stomach, and how I love to put oil and rub my hands together to get them all warm so she can feel the sensation of how warm the oil is on my big, large hands. You describe it. Then you tell her how you’re going to massage every little inch of her body, how you’re going to touch her thighs, the back of her knees, how you’re going to touch her back.
You: “I love at that point to alternate between my hands and my mouth,
slowly taking my lips and gliding them over your body.”
What you’re doing here is you’re creating a scene. You’re teasing her a lot. What happens next is you say:
You: “That’s what I like to do.”
Don’t turn around and tell her you like to screw her afterwards. Just get her really, really hot. What she’s going to do next is she’s going to say:
Her: “Wow!”
Then you’re going to say:
You: “Yeah, that’s nothing. That’s just the beginning. It’s my turn, right?”
So then what you do is throw something out of left field, because it shows that you’re in control. What most guys are going to do now is to ask her what her favorite sexual position is or what she likes to do. What I like to do is say:
You: “What was your favorite pet you ever had?”
So at that point she becomes very confused thinking “Wait a second. This guy just described the most hot, sexual thing to me in the entire world, he has me totally turned on, and NOW he’s asked me about my favorite pet.” So what she’ll say is:
Her: “My cat fluffy was my favorite pet.”
And you’ll say:
You: “Fluffy, huh? So Fluffy was a cute little pussy cat? Awww . . .
What a cute little pussy cat.”
Tease her a little bit. By using the term “pussy,” she’s already thinking about how her pussy is hot and wet to begin with anyway. So you see that what’s going on here. It’s a lot of creating tension, and it’s showing her that you’re strong. So then what you’re going to do is say:
You: “Your turn, right?”
Then she’s probably going to ask you a sexual question again. She’s going to say something like:
Her: “If you could have a woman do anything, what would it be?”
Then what you need to say is:
You: “I love a woman who respects my dick.”
Her: “What?”
You: “Hmmmm . . .”
Then you wait ten, twenty, thirty seconds, and she’s going to be wondering “What is this about me respecting his dick?” and she’ll start saying things like:
Her: “Well?”
You: “Are you sure you can handle this?”
Her: “Absolutely!”
You: “OK, before I tell you this about how I want a woman to
respect my dick, I want to know what your favorite sexual
thing is to do to a guy.”
Her: “Oh God, I love to give a guy head.”
You: “You know what, so many women say that. But women
who don’t respect dick don’t really know how to give head.”
Challenge her a little bit. She’ll come back and say:
Her: “Oh I know how to give the best head.”
You: “You know what, all women say that.”
Her: “Oh, but I really do.”
You: “Maybe one day you’ll get lucky enough to show me
your skills.”
So what you’re doing is teasing her a little bit, and you’re showing her you’re in total control of the situation. It’s unbelievable . . . it works every time.
Now between emails and IM’s, you’ve probably been into this thing about 45 minutes. So what you need to do now is ask her a question like:
You: “Let me ask you a question. Are you wet right now?”
Her: “Yes.”
You: “What are you wearing?”
Her: [She'll tell you what she's wearing]
You: “Look, do you want to talk on the phone? It would be
great to hear your voice. Plus I’d really like to hear more
about how you’re going to respect my dick and I want to
tell you what I like to do after that sensual massage.”
She’ll give you her phone number and you get on the phone with her. The next thing you do is start talking to her in a very deep, seductive voice. Then you start saying:
You: “Do you want play more ’20 questions?’”
Her: “Absolutely.”
So, every time she asks you a sexual question, you take a long, slow, drawn out way to describe what you want to do to her. During this time she’s going to be getting very wet. During this time she’s probably going to be touching herself.
So what you need to do when she’s touching herself, is listen for some sighs or some moans. When she starts moaning a little bit or sighing, you then confront her on it because it’s showing that you’re in complete and utter control.
So what you do next when she does that is you say:
You: “Are you going to touch yourself right now? Are
you going to bring yourself to orgasm?”
Her: “Do you want me to?”
You: “You know what? I’d much rather see it in person. I’d
much rather have you here, standing here so I can watch
you. I want to sit in my chair, and I want to tell you
exactly what to do to your pussy.”
Take control!
Her: “Do you really want that? Do you really want to?”
You: “Absolutely. But you know what? I don’t even know you.
I’d invite you over right now, but you could be a crazy
chick. So I don’t want to invite you over.”
Do a little laughter here, because she’s probably thinking the same thing and wondering if you’re crazy. What’s happening here is you’re in complete control, and you’re throwing her fears back in her face.
By making her think you are afraid, it’s a very subliminal, subconscious way to mind f&*@ her all the way into your bedroom. She will show up.
You’ve got to have some balls, and you have to get her to come over. If she doesn’t come over, allow her to masturbate to you but while she’s masturbating tell her:
You: “Look, this is driving me crazy. I’ve got to see you. I’ve
got no problem engaging in phone sex with you, but
tomorrow night I want you to come over and I want to
lick your pussy all night long.”
You need to tell her these things. Get her off. Get her off so strong over the phone if she doesn’t come over, that the very next night she’s going to come over and she’s going to want to be seduced by you all over again. She’s going to think about it all day long at the office.
The next day you’re going to text message her and tell her things you’re going to do to her that night. You’ve got her opened up sexually, so now what you need to do is hammer it home.
We’ll talk more about this . . . if you guys want to know more information, and go deeper into her mindset and how to get her to become your sexual slave at all times, email me! I’m putting together an amazing program to teach you how to seduce a woman . . . any place, any time, anywhere. Hope you enjoyed this, and I hope you enjoy today’s blog.
Look this is a raw story from last summer.
I created this blog so we can have a community of free speech and real advice.
Women are sexual, and no man should ever judge a woman who is open sexually to do the above.
Life is all about expressing your sexuality and being free of judgment.
If anyone wants to learn how to be sexually free and experience a life of honesty and non judgment, take a look at my mastery series for men by clicking here and for women by clicking here.
Live a life that you always desired no games no bullshit.
Todays video is all about how to turn a casual glance on the street into a phone number.
Good afternoon everyone,
This blog is definitely worth a read, and what caught my eye was the first few paragraphs. Again, I’m going to refer to what I read in “Always Talk To Strangers,” which so far has a permanent spot among the top ten books I have read.
Particularly when it comes online dating, I found myself guilty of making this mistake, the extending of playing games. Although I have used JDate one too many times (seven, and I refuse to do it again, unless they offer some kind of guarantee that I’ll meet someone, which I know they’ll never do), whenever I have read someone’s profile that I would like to talk to, I always try to IM, and after five minutes, the conversation ends, because the woman decide that they do not want to speak to me-I am being polite, asking where they’re from, etc., and the only assumption I can make is that they think I’m “beating around the bush” and they have no desire to continue the conversation. Personally, it’s their loss, but it also made me realize maybe that it’s something on my end that is contributing to it too. I realize there are only three guarantees in life: death, taxes, and the HBO Saturday Night Guarantee of a new premiere movie that night..haha, the third one was my addition. But once again, I digress.
More than anything, whenever I look at these ads, I always see something to the effect of “No games, please don’t waste my time.” I can understand why that’s there. Now more than ever, we spend more time on our careers, and free time is extremely limited, and the woman wants to know it’s not being wasted. When you’re in the dating game, you want to show yourself that you’re “not just another guy.” I know I’m not. Perhaps most ironically of all, whenever girls speak to me online, they are actually stunned that “the first question is not what cup size I am.” It’s actually sad that that is the first response..but it’s easy to understand why.
I think what David is saying is that you need an angle, an unorthodox one. If I do go back to these online sites, I’ll definitely try this. You have only a limited amount of time to capture the girl’s interest…just like the song where Gwen Stefani talks about how “She’s just a girl because that’s all that you’ll let her be,” you don’t want to be just another guy in her eyes.
Thanks for reading.
-SK.
Hi David,
I responded to your email with the contact information you needed. The best times to reach me are Tuesday and Thursday after 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. I can’t wait to hear from you.
-SK.
DAVID;
Great job on the massage technique. Being an MT, I can say that with authority…
“You know, they
Steven K
…”I realize there are only three guarantees in life: death, taxes, and the HBO Saturday Night Guarantee of a new premiere movie that night..haha, the third one was my addition. But once again, I digress.”
LOL It is good to know there is a third one to look forward to as well.
There is nothing like a good movie to take your mind off of taxes and death….or taxes that make you WISH for death…lol
..” It
It all sounds good until you start saying words like pussy, dick, etc. I could force myself to type it, but i don’t think i could ever manage to say it to a lady. It just seems so vulgar. I always thought woman would either be turned off or take offense to such strong words. Do woman really want that out of a man? I have no clue lol I’m really asking for an answer. David, could you please explain to me if i should overcome this fear of saying vulgar words around ladies or is it possible to turn on a woman without being soo upfront. either answer me back or use this as the subject to another blog. plz
It seems to me, in something that is as reciprocal as sexual relations, that there shouldn’t be as much judgment as actually occurs. Yes, we’ve come a long way, but maybe it is the different wiring that won’t let us evolve to a higher or more comfortable state. Even the most liberated of women that I’ve talked to step back, back peddle, and gloss over what wouldn’t be seen as any big deal if she were a man. A friend from work, went to Vegas about a week after I did and oddly enough kept her bags in her room while she shacked up with a guy. So of course I’ve been teasing her about being axed in her sleep but she didn’t trust the guy with her stuff. She totally back peddled. Tried to gloss it over. I had to make it clear that I didn’t think anything of it all. She’s still a bright wonderful person and a good nurse. When I went to Ashland I told her that I wasn’t keeping my bags in the car. lol.
Steven,
It seems vulgar when it’s coming out of nowhere. Out of context.
When you start emotional, romantic, sensual… whispering, teasing, adoring, loving, giving, sharing, exciting… and then sloooowly feel yourself getting turned on as well as your woman, more and more and more… and your words and touching go faster… go firmer… more intense… and you THEN start the naughty talk, it’s fucking hot and it’s going to turn YOU on.
The context changes as you both get aroused. You start wanting each other. The more you want her, the stronger your carnal desires grow (which is wonderful, being a respectful and responsible person). The more you may want to DO her.
I find that the more excited I become, the more vulgar my languaging becomes. It turns me on EVEN FURTHER. And not just me
It all starts with gentle caressing and soft, dreamy whispering… all the way up to telling her exactly how I want to take her, verbalizing what’s going on, and allowing her to totally let go and be the horny passionate sexual girl she loves to be.
And then in the end… allllll the way back.
Do you see the build-up? Can you better imagine using vulgar language in a delicious way now? Can you imagine how it may turn a woman on if you let her tell you how she likes to be your horny little slut and cum on your cock, right before she actually does?
By the way, the pussycat thing never was for me. You find that one in every bad movie. It’s so cheap!
Steven- For this one remember the context is trying to score right away off the computer. Yesterday the message was to wait a few dates before getting sexual (and hope she’s frustrated in a good way and still hasn’t ejected by then). But in either case, YEAH, women will talk like this! Believe me, most of the women you’re going to meet have seen and heard it all already (and probably done most, if not all, of it already too). They’re not really all that innocent the way you think they are (not to destroy an illusion… but they aren’t!). Of course, you have to calibrate yourself and what you do/say depending on the particular woman and situation… but you are going too far overboard by treating them so gently and respectfully and that can hurt your progress. In a weird way, that can almost be more offensive to them than becoming more assertive with women. Sounds like you’re getting in touch with David so once you start having some successes your reality will shift and this will probably be clearer.
David
I’ve already heard you talk about this in the interview with Grant, and I think it is amazing. So fun and exciting.
BUT. I’m missing a piece that I would like your advice on.
Now, I have done this exciting online seduction thing a few times with some people I met in an online community game. I was the life of the party there. So much stuff and so many boring guys. I was already on a high – it was my jump start, and these girls jumped on it. (Especially that one time I told The Grinch Who Did Me On Christmas. That was the best. THANK YOU for that idea man!)
I am convinced that if you do this in a dating/chat community, the lady is going to check out your profile right away, as I would hers. And I believe that it matters what’s in there.
I want to make it appealing. I want my profile to reflect what I’m all about. I want it to excite a woman. And I’m lost there. Could you help? A blog, an e-mail, a response, whatever you see fit.
I’d greatly appreciate that.
Best,
Pete
Dave
“They
Pete:
“….It seems vulgar when it
Joan,
Tis true. I don’t think that there are many of us that don’t want some sort of connection, respect, and caring whether or not we want a long term relationship or not, before we enjoy dirty talk. I suppose that there are a few on either side of us, but I’d go with the odds on this one. I don’t think much of the dirty talk online or even on the phone unless its someone I’m already intimate with.
Steven,
We aren’t that fragile, and in the right context we do find it exciting. That scenario that David wrote won’t work on all of us, but then you might want to work on something a bit more toned down…You just be comfortable with you and it’ll all work out.
Hey All
I knew today was going to be very controversial
Bertie
You are correct not all women are going to respond as this women did and it has taken me years of studying and understanding psychology to know when and how to push the buttons.
This is why i created all of my products so i can share all this information with people and teach them how to learn all that i know.
But this takes time and for some this approach may not be their style.
Steven is not comfortable with using the words pussy.
Some women I have been with love when i say I want to eat your pussy while others do not and that is why each person is so different.
The reason why i posted this as Pete realized that you need to stop treating women with kid gloves and let them be the passionate erotic sexual beings that they really are.
Pete
The key to online dating as you know is writing a great profile that will create an emotional response in a woman when she first reads it.
I can write a blog and will write one real soon.
I am also working on a products about online dating and how to write a great profile and i do write peoples profiles for them on my coaching page.
Pete
Here is my profile.
Take a look and see how it creates an emotional response and tells a story.
Woman want to feel some kind of emotional attachment when they read your profile.
Also look at the way i challenge women who read this and use humor and stories to talk about who i am.
This profile is on a site and i get about 30 emails a week from women who contact me first.
I also only contact women that looked at my profile. I can go on and on about why this works and how it works but my typing is not that great.
Maybe ill post a video tonight on it.
For now here is my profile.
I know what I want and who I am. This is one of the many benefits of being a growing person who takes calcualted risks and approaches life with an open attitude. If I miss the mark…no worries, after I get done swearing I always lick my wounds, dust myself off, and get back on a different bull. I have a very creative business that allows me to travel to Thailand where I visited the Buddhist Temples, to Italy where I boated along the coast of Positano, and London where I got lost walking in the streets (you should know that I refused to ask for diections). I tell you this not to brag…I just think it is only fair to let you know that I have an addiction to travel. So much so that I just joined a 12 step progam called travelers annonymous and they took away all my miles and hotel points. If you can relate, we need to talk.
Each day need not be anything special. I find entertainment in the most unique places. The other day I was getting a coffee at the local coffee shop and saw a cute grumpy older woman. Her grumpieness was the kind that didn’t run deep so I went over and decided to make her smile. Making someones day is something I try to do on a regular basis…except when i am driving of course. Yes, I am a New Yorker and I when I drive I am on a mission. I still cant grasp the concept of talking on the phone, plucking the eyebrows and reading the paper while on the 405…but I am open to learning:)
I workout everyday which usually includes twisting myself into a pretzel during yoga, pumping up with some iron, or dragging my lazy lab Daphne up a hill. I take great care of myself inside and out.
I am a very loyal, sensual, spontaneous person who will always let you know where you stand. I enjoy a variety of things in my life…from deep connections to just being goofy! Romance is something that every soul needs and no one should settle for second best!
What is attractive to me is a woman, who has a deep understanding of themselves (or is willing to learn) and is not afraid to take chances (if you are I will give you a nudge), and someone who expresses their passions about life. If you want to find out more email me and ask me anything. I double dare you!
Hi Joan,
Once again thank you for the Charlie Brown comment, and yes I am different from the guy who is named “Steven,” so just to clarify I did NOT write the comments about saying the words “dick” and “pussy,” that is why my name is different. The K stands for Kaufman, of course.
-SK.
Hi David and greetings to you from Long Island,
I know this is probably going off on a tangent here, but since you mention online dating frequently, I had to make this observation: is it me, or do we notice certain eerie similarities when it comes to ads posted by women on the various web sites? These are “online-dateisms,” where it seems like each ad has a variation on the same theme.
-SK.
DAVID;
That is an excellent profile you have. Very simple, humorous and honest.
Bravo!
Bertie;
Thank you. I was wondering if anothe r woman was going to chime in from another angle.
I don’t favor much being the only woman commenting and will sometimes (very rare) lol withhold comments because of such.
HEY…Jessica?????????? Where are you girl?
There are so many women who have abandoned us here Bertie. We need to start recruiting. All my friends are either chicken shits, or think they have it all figured out…pfffffffffft Sorry girls…..but ya never have it ALL figured out.
Joan
Thanks i am a writer:)
I have written many profiles for clients and every time i do this for someone they meet more men or women right away.
Its amazing how many bad profiles are out there and online dating is so competitive that you need to do all you can to stand out!
Steven
Go deeper into that for me please.
Tell me more about what you notice.
Pete
I actually use the pussycat thing to change the topic for a bit and use some humor.
Its all part of the push pull give and take……
Hello David, and good evening to you,
Pursuant to your request, here you go. As an unfortunate seven-time victim of JDate, I tend to notice comments that vary on each one of the themes I have here. I look forward to your comments, and to speaking to you on the phone Tuesday night. These are not just restricted to JDate, though:
Common JDate-isms and what they mean:
1.
Hello David, and good evening,
To elaborate on my last comment, I don’t mind if people put one photo of themselves all dressed up, but unless you are like that every day, try and put up pictures that represent YOU as you are in your down time.
-SK.
Steven
YOu think quite a lot my friend.
I have to throw you a compliment here….you are a smart man.
Now theres the compliment and heres what i see.
You are spending too much time reading into things due to your personal frustration with dating and i totally understand that.
You and I will talk this week…….we have a lot to talk about my friend and i am looking forward to it.
Steven K;
In reading your comments, I sometimes think in my head, “Is this man for real,” but the more I read…the more I realize the answer to that question is yes. That is a compliment to you and I agree with David. You are very intelligent.
You have intelligence coupled with manners and an abundance of respect for people in general. I appreciate that very much.
Your comment on the midwest girls? I was originally born in the mid-west. When I tell people I am basically from CA, they don’t believe me because of the difference in my demeanor.
Never to place myself on a pedestal EVER, but I do think there is some truth to that statement. Hey even the beach boys sing about the “mid-west farmers daughters really make you feel alright!”
Now whos going to argue with the beach boys??
You are a pleasure to read, and I know I am not alone in that thought.
Thank YOU for reading as well as sharing.
David,
Well you know how I’m in that what 2% of the female population….
Yeah, I’d play the twenty questions, and answer them all honestly and frankly, but all it would buy a guy is a cup of coffee on my next day off, and then we’d see….
Steven K,
I wonder why you look at things the way you do….
You listed very valid complaints with regards to online dating, but for instance in #4 you actually ask why they put up a profile. Its really a loaded question that might not have an acceptable answer.
I have a profile online because its difficult to meet men here with the following criteria: Has a job, has all his teeth, doesn’t spend his entire weekend in a bar, and appreciates an assertive intelligent woman. Sounds like I’m either being picky, nasty about the men who live here, or self-deprecating. That’s really a no win anyway or I can say because someone suggested it. I was bored one night. I don’t have the luxury of living in a city with millions of people in it to choose from. I live in what could be loosely termed as redneck country….and only the truly evolved redneck boys appreciate a girl who can keep up with them at their own games.
As for the pictures thing…
Don’t you think you should put your best foot forward. Now true, party girl pics from the bar shouldn’t be on there, but what kind of women’s profiles are you looking at? If you’re looking at the average under thirty that’s pretty much what you’re gonna get.
Most of mine have one or all of my kids in them. As soon as I remember to not be so focused on playing with my winch and more focused on taking pics of the boys and I using it those will definitely be on there.
I suppose I could post some work pics but I’m not sure how that would work with all the HIPPA rules nowadays. Its all carefully monitored now, but I have one of me on the phone getting what I want from my pig-tail puller. I think I was telling him to get his behind to the hospital and help us out a bit, but I’m getting off track….
Maybe you just want to skip those profiles?
David W,
I sent you an email. I’m interested on your Online Coaching, as I’m sure my profile suffers big time from “he-talk”, and doesn’t relay who I am.
P.S. I’m a divorced dad, multi-cultural… no sex hang-ups here. LOL.
I’m a huge fan of on-line dating. I’ve had great fun and success with it. After a few tries with different sites, I finally figured out how to use these sites as a resource to attract a lot of men and get to know them before meeting. Most of the guys I attract are the kind of men I’m interested in getting to know better. As David talked about, a well-written and original profile that sets you apart will really make a huge difference. I think I’ve done that, (although I’m sure I could improve). I also post recent pictures that reflect who I am, and I take specific pictures for the dating site. I don’t rely on pics from my everyday life. Some are sexy, some are sweet and others a little quirky. It’s better to SHOW that I’m sexy, sweet and quirky through my written profile and pictures, rather than write those words in my profile statement.
Steven K – In my experience, all of your concerns about women’s online ads also apply to ads on the men’s side. I pretty much agree with all the points you’ve made, however, I also try to look for other evidence of attractive qualities before I write someone off completely.
Lastly, a couple days ago Shannon suggested that I’m way too picky. She also eluded to a book I wrote??? I haven’t written a book. As for the pickiness, I think she assumes that I rejected all of the 19 guys that I dated. SOME of them decided they didn’t want to see me again (some after the first date, some after the 5th date). Another few became friends of mine, but we decided we aren’t a good fit for a romantic relationship (I’m even helping one of them rewrite his profile so he can meet more women). Best of all, the 19th guy turned out to be a fantastic match for me and we’re having a blast together. I don’t think one out of 19 is too bad. I’ve had a good time, and I think most of the guys I went out with had a good time too.
Hello David and good evening,
I am deeply humbled by the compliments. It makes me smile when people give me a compliment. After all, Mark Twain wrote that if you give a person a compliment, they can live off it for three months. It’s true.
Hopefully someone will hire me soon, because I am getting frustrated working part-time at a restaurant while I’m looking for work. Anyone know of good public relations entertainment companies in L.A. or NYC? LOL.
Joan, in response to your message, I can understand why you wondered many times if you think I’m real. The way the dating world is today, a guy who could be seen as intelligent, considerate, and polite is about as welcome as a Yankees fan in a Boston tavern. (OK, maybe that’s lame, but you understand). They are pretty much seen as undesirable and unwanted, like last year’s model at the local car dealership. For a long time, I felt like I had to prove everything to everyone. I don’t have to, but most importantly, I don’t want to. Nor should I have to.
If you will permit me to, I want to use a hockey analogy to explain why I feel I am the way I am. I consider myself a student of the game, and while most fans are waiting to see which player’s adrenaline is going to explode on the next player, I watch critically to see why a team is the way it is-it’s not always that a team is not talented. Many teams have the flashy superstars, the playmakers who will be seen on ESPN every night. That’s the player whose jersey everyone wears. I’m not like that at all. I’m the lunchpail guy, the one who grinds it out, the one who’s going to do the dirty work and comes out with the scars. They’ll never make the scoresheet, but their contributions do not go unnoticed. It’s the same thing with these online ads-women will often go toward the “hotties,” while ignoring the rest of the guys, the “leftovers.” While that relationship may work at first, they will see that eventually it fizzles out-sure, the intimacy may be great, but what else is there? The “leftovers” may seem to be undesirable at first, but they’ll be there whenever they’re needed, and they’ll remember important things as well.
To comment on something Bertie said, and her comment was “I don’t have the luxury of living in a city with millions of people to choose from.” While I do live in the suburbs of a city with eight million people, please do not think that makes it any easier. Actually, it makes a lot more challenging. Yes, cities do offer a wide variety of people to meet. And it’s not only New York, it could be Atlanta, Boston, et al. The geographic numbers may be on your side, that’s true….but New York is a totally different dating scene than anywhere else. New York women are very demanding, and have very high standards (i.e. if you’re not a doctor, lawyer, or accountant, don’t waste their time). I’ve met people from small towns who say they’d love to come to NYC and meet people. I tell them you may have more people in numbers, but that doesn’t always translate to success.
Any thoughts are welcome. Thank you for listening.
-SK.
Steven K – Midwest girls ROCK!!!
(hailing from Iowa)
Hi Theresa, and good evening,
I really liked your post, and had to comment on it.
The problem with online dating, or at least what I see, is that too many of these web sites sell their “success stories.” You know, the links that show couples who got married and met on their site. Well, of course they do..do you think if they said “We’re horrible,” anyone would actually sign up to use their service?
The interesting thing is though is that I think because of that, they cause people to have delusions, of meeting “the one.” It’s not going to happen, at least not right away. And if you think that’s the case, there’s a nice piece of property I can sell you in the Bronx for a good price.
The best way to approach these sites is to think of it as a “step-by-step” approach. Unfortunately, too many people want everything now, and won’t pay the price to do so. This is the land of instant gratification after all, we can get our drinks Supersized and we also expect the women to fall into our laps, the sooner, the better. If you get a response to your ad, great! You should accept that for what it is. If you get a phone number, even better! The ultimate goal in this online dating endeavor is to get a date. You should not even be thinking about getting into the woman’s, well you know the rest.
I did make a reference to my former girlfriend, Jenn, whom I met online. However, I did date other women I met offline as well. While some of them I had chemistry with, others I absolutely did not. One date I remember visualizing myself as Maverick from “Top Gun” with my finger on the ejector button. But each date you find out about yourself, and the other person. You find out what you want, and what you don’t want as well. And regardless of how the date ended, I always let the woman know that in any case, I hope I demonstrated that I was respectful and considerate, and that they enjoyed themselves. I always hold the car door open, as well as restaurant doors and so on. It’s the little things they remember, even if the date doesn’t materialize into anything else. But again, what intrigues me is with some people, if I hold the door for a woman, I get looked at like I’m weird. I don’t know what constitutes normal to them, maybe if I asked them what cup size they are that would make it “normal.” Unfortunately, many women have had this experience and they expect the shoe to drop as a result.
Of course, any comments are welcome.
-SK.
Hi Theresa, and good evening,
So Midwest girls rock….hmm maybe I should do a scientific experiment about what happens when a New Yorker and an Iowan get together. Any predictions? Haha
-SK.
Steven K,
Where are you going? I like to go to bookstores, museums and little mom and pop places. I haven’t met any people that seem like that even in SF where nearly everyone seems rude.
I wouldn’t be living here if it weren’t a good place to raise my kids and the fact that I don’t have to plan an off road trip. I can throw a blanket, bottled water, the topographical map of northern CA and the firearms in the back of the jeep and go target shooting for the day. If I lived in the city, I’m afraid I’d have to plan that much more, as well as have to purchase a vehicle to commute with. You might have an easier time in a small town, but my situation is a bit unique though I’m not giving up. We’re just different in public than most people in the city.
Joan,
I think Steve Miller said something about Northern California girls keeping their boyfriends warm at night…..I heard he sold his ranch in Merlin Oregon though….sigh.
Steven;
“…While that relationship may work at first, they will see that eventually it fizzles out-sure, the intimacy may be great, but what else is there?”
Hmmmmm very intuitive statement.
Unfortunately, I was 17 and in love with…well love. What I thought was love from a “pretty boy” or a “hottie” went on for 20+ years of a living hell for me. The pretty boy loved the mind blowing sex, but as far as wanting to really know the me inside…..which ain’t so bad a girl….well there wasn’t much interest there.
Looks and attraction to a person because of the look is such a small part of the full picture of what makes a real relationship.
I am glad…now that I still have 1/2 my life left to experience good things I know this fact.
Theresa:
I think you were very generously complimented here, and if you are looking for a more than worthy canidate for a date as well as a true respectful gentleman…Steven K might be just that gentleman hugh? 
Good luck to all in your dating lives. I am going to take a little break here so have a great evening all.
Steven K,
I dated a guy from Brooklyn about 17 years ago (long-distance … lots of frequent flier miles). It didn’t last, however, we reconnected as friends a few years ago. I found out that he married an Iowa girl a couple years after our break-up. I tease him that he couldn’t live without Iowa Lovin’.
Who remembers Neil Diamonds song.
Touching you Touching Me?
Steven K,
Maybe it’s a midwest thing, or possibly my age (43), but I notice a man’s manners. Opening doors, pulling my chair out, helping me on with my coat, etc. It’s not about being treated as helpless, it’s about consideration and thoughtfulness, and I appreciate it.
I’ve talked with other men in their 20′s who tell me that some of the women they date are either surprised or insulted by such gestures … but not all women in their twenties.
~ T
Sorry it was Not neil diamond it was abba and the song was knowing you knowing me.
i am so bad at lyrics
my friend sitting next to me is laughing her ass off right now
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time were through…
David,
Do I have to admit I was alive when the song first came out?
That is one of those songs that you really do not want to go through your head.
Now it is going through mine and i am not thrilled with it!!!
David, you weren’t far off. Neil Diamond had an album called “Touching me, Touching You”
it’s contagious
I knew i was not crazy….I will also admit just once that i am a huge Neil Diamond fan.
I went to see him in Atlantic City in 1984…what a blast!!
Yes it is…….and i am still humming it in my head right now
OK Theresa
Are you ready for this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKDdaVRNGwE
There are worse songs, and if I was feeling a bit more sadistic, I might suggest one.
Go for it……..Give me your worst song ever
YES!!! What a blast! Takes me back … I used to spend hours straightening my hair so it would look like that. And bring on the blue eyeshadow!!!
Theresa
Which one are you, the blonde or the redhead?
Neil Diamond, there’s a blast from the past….a New York native as well. You just can’t beat driving around the city and when you hear “Forever In Blue Jeans” or “Coming To America” and smiling that the hometown boy made good…same thing with Barry Manilow, a Brooklyn boy too. I should be so lucky to look good in my fifties and have women swoon at me haha.
-SK.
I get choked up every time i hear I am I said.
Really reminds me of my parents dinner parties in the 70s when they were all sitting around the living room stoned and drunk with their friends.
Its funny I just redid my house in Mid Century modern and would do anything for the marble coffee table and the 8 track player:)
Good evening all,
There are far worse songs, when I heard “I Adore Mi Amor” by Color Me Badd I literally felt like vomiting LOL.
-SK.
“This is the song that never ends” or “I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs”
Sam, I’m definitely the blonde
Hey David,
I Am I Said…another great Neil Diamond song lol
Ice Ice Baby
Vanilla ice and the clothes that he wore in that video.
I still cant believe that 80s fashion or lack of is back
There are some great Neil Diamond songs and some bad ones like the ET one.
Turn on your hearbeat……cant remember the next words
Hello everyone,
While we’re on the subject of really bad songs, allow me to engage you with my pop culture encyclopedia information list:
1. “Informer” by Snow
2. “Things That Make You Go Hmmm” by C & C Music Factory
3. “Mr. Wendal” by Arrested Development
4. “I Adore Mi Amor” by Color Me Badd
5. “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice
Sweet, definitely the hotter one of the two. hope she wasn’t the one that choked on her sandwhich.
Personally I can’t go past lowrider by War. Great cruising track but you don’t want any cute girls to hear you listening to it. Instant embarrassment
Hi David,
You have to give it up for Neil Diamond’s “Coming to America,” I was in Boston for the 4th of July, the fireworks made that song come to life, poetic just hearing it!
-SK
David,
you got me with that one,
and, yes, Turn on your Heartbeat = tragic
Whatchoo talkin’ bout willis?! Ice Ice Baby is a classic! even if they lipsinked the entire album
Sam,
I thought all guys were hot for redheads
yes tragic and you can not forget the facts of life…..that was a classic show.
“Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. Steven, you need to add a 6th, I think.
“Soldier of Love” by Donny Osmond was so bad……
or how about another good one.
one day at a time……
i always thought he was saying dont worry be appy and what was appy?
Oh wait! I got a better one….tell me if you all know this.
“Hey everybody if you want to take a chance, just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance” lol
Theresa
OK you busted me, I actually like the redhead better. I was just trying to be nice, I promise I will never do it again
OK you busted me, I actually like the redhead better. I was just trying to be nice, I promise I will never do it again
or dead or alive spin m rounfd round baby round round like a record.
would love to hear the mp3 version.
compress me baby into ipod and steam all day round round
I used to watch One Day at a Time every week. Everyone need a Schnider.
Hello all,
Although this song shouldn’t fall into the “so bad it’s good” category, anyone remember “Come on ride the train” by the Quad City DJs?
i agree i like the redhead but what about the blond with the mullet in the ugly jump suits
What David? You didn’t just love the leg warmers?
Manilow still sounds good on that new Dave Koz CD, but I still love Billy. Veronica and I are conspriring to see him in February at the Arco arena. (heavy sigh)
I forgive you, Sam
schnider was the man
how about the cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve but my all time fav was dynasty
I’m out everyone…good night to all and I’ll be back tomorrow. As always, the pleasure of posting was all mine.
g’night, Steven
bertie
leg warmers you just made me remember my fav crush of the 80s
jennifer beals who didnt really dance in the movie.
but when michael sembello sung maniac….that was another 80s icon
coe to think of it i just had a huge laugh…….i remember dating this girl who would always wear leg warmers..
wow nothing was better than a good pair of leg warmers and high heels:)
What girl didn’t want to BE Jennifer Beals? Hot, sexy, independent and daring … except for getting hooked up with that creepy old guy at the end of the movie.
here is some good trivia
what was the name of her dog in the movie?
Another 80′s classic, The Final Countdown by Europe. Truth be known I’m actually an 80′s music tragic, I love it! The bad perms and flouros, all good stuff. Does anyone support my theory that the music you love the most tends to be the stuff you heard when you were too young to appreciate it? Its like it gets wired into your brain as a child and then your appreciation for it emerges at a time when it could prove socially fatal for you.
leg warmers and high heels? quite an image!
sam
i may agree with you on that one.
i am really into some of the old 70s song when i was a kid.
i was driving the other day and kung fu fighting came on.
i think what music does is trigger an emotional memory from a time in our life that was full of innosense.
I agree with you, Sam. Eventually, we all admit to our secret musical taste and it’s a bonding experience, not socially fatal.
I’m a die-hard Supertramp fan and damn proud of it!
Don’t forget the MASSIVE shoulder pads
Supertramp
Breakfast in America one of the best albums of all time.
Do they say album now a days?
Or one of the best downloads ever.
I kinda miss shoulder pads. The broader my shoulders look, the smaller my ass looks …. except, it also makes you look like a pin-head.
David,
I already respected you, but NOW, I know you’re truly a kindred spirit!
So glad I’m not the only one. Im yet to meet a girl who will don the striped legwarmers and high heels for me, but a man can dream
David I think you’re right, it does trigger the emotional memories. Just a feeling of a better time
Shoulder pads were a really funny fashion idea.
I had a jacket that had shoulder pads….i ripped them right out.
I miss all the Miami Vice fashion and colors.
I actually hung out at fashion week in nyc last fall and all the miami vice colors are coming back from spring…so i am sure shoulder pads and acid wash are around the corner
Sam
Not sure of a better time….i love my life right now because of all that i have experienced in life.
But the times when we were kids were really innocent and i think that is what triggers that powerful uncomplicated emotion.
Oh, I was just kidding about the shoulder pads. I actually already have broad shoulders. Please say it isn’t so!!!
And acid washed jeans? ewww …
Sam, I’d wear leg warmers and high heels for a guy, but I’m the kind of girl that likes to play all kinds of dress-up games.
Theresa
Now we are getting somewhere fun.
Tell me all about how you like to play dress up.
I think en can really learn about how women like to have fun and express their sexuality in different ways.
I am all ears….start sharing please:)
Agreed, life was so simple as a kid. Play eat sleep, thats about it.
I love how the aviator sunnies like those in Top Gun have come back into fashion, many a year I awaited for this to happen! But I think now that Ive grown up a bit, Im not goin to wait for someting to come into favour before I can wear it, be a TRENDSETTER I say!!!
OK Sam
Here is the million dollar question/
What color was your members only jacket and do you still have it?
I was too young but my brothers was a red ochre colour, and no I don’t think he still has it. This is why Ebay is a beautiful thing
I don’t know if I represent all women, but I like to play imagination games with my lovers. However, it’s only fun if they engage in the fantasy too.
My ex was an actor and also worked at a costume shop for a while. I have several wigs and other props. Sometimes it’s fun to pretend to be someone else for a while: Inga, the Swedish Massage therapist (long blonde wig). Sheila, the Beauty Technician – green pageboy wig and leapard-skin cat glasses, or a sassy pirate (“do what I want or you walk the plank”).
I love ebay.
I can get lost on ebay.
right now i am actually looking at old cars on ebay as i hang with all of you.
i want to get an 82 chevy citation.
i think american cars hit rock bottom when they produced that never will be a classic.
theresa
role playing can be a lot of fun:)
ok you need to tell the men how to bring this up so they can play walk the plank.
i think a lot of men really would love to role play but are too afraid to have the conversation.
any tips for the men.?
and you really need to share with me all the details of walk the plank:)
David
My guess is you still have yours though, c’mon, you know its there, tucked away in the deep recesses of your closet. Speaking of fashion, (sorry I don’t want to get too far away from Theresa’s dress ups) (we’re still waiting by the way Tess) can you tell me what brand of jumper you wear in some of your videos? its a white woolen one, been looking for simlar for a while.
Sam
I purge my closets all the time.
I am actually a huge clothes person so i like to change up my look and tend to get really bored with the same things.
I will keep boots and shoes and leather jackets…the rest will head to ebay or to my friends,
As for a wool members only….did they really come in wool?
Tips for men? Hmmm … seems like I’m the one to bring it up.
Seems like first you have to find out if your lover has a playful imagination. Also, being with someone that enjoys dressing sexy at all seems important. If she can’t get excited about a trip to Victoria’s Secret, playing Naughty Librarian is going to be a big leap.
If she DOES like to dress up in lingerie, then a conversation about how you think about how sexy she looks, and you think about the things you imagine doing. That might start things out well.
Maybe, tell her a story where she’s the main character. Perhaps she’s a catholic school girl (my latest costume … so fun!).
What do you think?
Ha yeah would’nt that be something, hello ladies…
no I mean the jumper you were wearing in the photos on Markus’s webpage. It looks like CountryRoad?
Yeah Ebay rocks, I dunno how we did without it. Perfect if your’e a fussy buyer like me. Although, down side is you miss out on playing with the sales girl. Theres an idea, online sales chicks!
Theresa
That is great advice.
I wrote a blog about this the other day.
Do you remember the bedtime story one?
It is so true you need to test the waters a bit and see if she is game.
Now can you please tell me how work the plank works?
I have never heard of that one before.
Catholic school girl is an old time favorite of mine
Sam
Online sales chicks would be a blast…can you imagine being up late at night and flirting with the cute ebay babe.
Do you think one of those cute online sales babes will go for the online seduction?
So what do you think of Theresas dress up plan?
Theresa
Trust me from experience, catholic school girls are wilder than you think
I used to head down to the catholic school down the road from my college…i was at american u.
and we would head to mount mattress….i have no idea what the real name of the school was
LOL! Members Only Jackets! As for heels and leg warmers, well I got busted down publically by my nursing instructor during a lecture for my dangly earrings, short dresses and heels. I remember it being terribly embarassing. Sad how some people just assume that you can’t be professional and still be feminine. Its not like I ever wore any of that when working with patients. Well I wear dangly earrings at work now, but I’ve since learned that when folks are grabbing at you they aren’t grabbing for your ears.
David,
I’m a very, very bad pirate looking for booty. You’ve been captured by me, along with your gold deblumes. There’s no use trying to escape because I have you tied to one of the masts with the sash from around my waist. You’ll have to be a perfect slave for me or I’ll feed you to the fishes.
(check your email, I sent you a pic)
An entrepreneurial person could make this thing work, “hi Im Alison welcome to Ebay”
“well hello there Alison, Im looking for a members only jacket, preferably woolen”
Theresa
Its two against one now, how does this plank function??
Ok now that is a brand new fantasy to me…….what is the music you play during this one?
“The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” isn’t a very sexy soundtrack
The guy I recently started seeing seriously was born on talk like a pirate day. Too fun!
Has to be Golden Brown by The Stranglers
Love the pirate picture.
Walk the plank……..great stuff.
Also, he read the link to your site that I sent him, and WOW!!! He really seemed to understand EXACTLY what you wrote. We had a great weekend. Many thanks!!!
That is so cool…….love that it helped you out
It was fun chatting with you. Good night.
good night and thanks for teaching the men how to get a woman to play dress up.
Great reminiscing everybody. What was this blog about again? Oh well always tomorrow to stay on thread.
Later
the blog was all about how to seduce a woman online……we were on thread for a long time and ended with some great role playing advice.
“… miss all the Miami Vice fashion and colors.”
Personally, I miss Don Johnson slowwwly taking off the Miami “vice!” LOL
David
Thank you very much!
As for the pussycat thing, I’ll have to come up with something else in Dutch anyway
Damn that’s a lot of posts. Too many for this morning. Off to start 2008!
“Touching You Touching Me?” Ahhh yes…that is from “Sweet Caroline”
DAVID;
A song that would have gone well with the “Using Your Morning Wood?”
“TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING!” LOL
Geez, after reading all this, I feel like I’ve consumed a seven course meal. I’m so full of bull, I’m going to waddle out side to see if I can get hit by a falling icicle!
I thought it was Neil Diamond’s “Turn on your heart light”.
David,
LOL! It’s “turn on your heart light” and “touching me touching you” is in the song Sweet Caroline. Yes, I’m kind of a Neil Diamond geek. How could you not be when growing up in the 70′s.
And SUPERTRAMP’s Breakfast In America to me is one of the greatest albums ever made! I’d have to put Earth Wind & Fire’s September up there as well. I’m one of those geeks you see shopping and bopping down the isle when this song is playing.
Yes, if you are a true music lover they are still called albums.
Check out LyricsDomain.com for all of your lyric questions.
S
Thanks Shannon
I do like the messed up lyrics in my head.
Well, here’s another song with the lyrics “Touching You, Touching Me” Anybody remember this one? LoL
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_g3GmDI8G0
Chad;
WOW!
I wonder how much drugs this guy injested so far in his life?!
That was probably the most “peculiar” video I have seen in quite some time…..if I have ever seen one that different ever?
LOL I am dislexic so naturally it would be “Touching you Touching Me.”
No really, I love to give and think about touching before being touched, although once I AM touched….please do not stop!
When I was single, I loved clever, hot, funny, spontaneous IMing. Some guys were excellent at it. But it requires GREAT TYPING SKILLS. Nothing worse than writing clever, sexy stuff and then w a i t i n g for one sentence responses while they hunted and pecked away. I’d be onto my 3rd or 4th sentence while they were still responding to my first. I’d lose interest fast.
Susie,
I’ve missed most of the conversation, but you have a great point.
Typing skills come in damn handy
…and waiting too long for a message is a boner-killer for me also
But when the conversation flows smoothly… I loove that.