Third Date Sex
August 27, 2009 
20 Comments
Do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? I mean, apart from the fact that they’re always too short, and involve sitting in uncomfortable airplane seats and having the person in the hotel room next door to you play their television way too loudly. Besides all of that, do you know what the worst thing is about vacation? It’s coming home.
What is it about coming home? Why is it such a downer? I have a nice home. I like my home. I love coming back and seeing my dog. I just never want vacations to end. They’re never long enough.
It was sad seeing New Orleans. It’s the second time I’ve been there post-Katrina, and the city still hasn’t totally recovered. I’m not about to go on a political tangent about how the government screwed that thing up, I’m just going to go on to talk about today’s blog topic.
Whether or not you’re getting sex seems to be a fun conversation, so let’s enjoy it. Also, speaking of sex, take a look at the end of this blog because there’s a sneak peek of a very private offer. (I know some of you only read the beginning and the end of the blog, so I didn’t want any of you to miss out on the prize).
Talking about prizes, how much fun was it as a kid to try to get the prize that came in the bottom of cereal boxes before your brothers and sisters could find them? You always knew when my brother had gotten to a cereal box, because the whole side of the box would look swollen. There’s no way to get those toy surprises in a box of cereal without causing some damage.
Sex is kind of like a prize too. So let’s talk about sex and particularly the “third date sex rule.”
It’s the third date, so it’s time to have sex, right? There seems to be a widespread rumor out there that if you get to a third date with someone, then it’s time to have sex.
What is it with this “it’s the third date so it’s time to have sex” thing? Who made up this rule? Who started it? Was it on an episide of “Sex And The City?” I mean, from where did this “rule” come?
I’m going to tell you exactly what the third date means. If you’re really in touch with yourself and the other person, then the third date signifies the point at which you usually know whether or not this is a person with whom you want to hang, get to know better and with whom you want to see if you can establish some kind of relationship.
Three dates with someone will usually tell you if this is a person you want to get to know better, because you’ve probably spent nine, ten or more hours with them by this time. You’ve had a bunch of phone calls with them in between the dates. You’re getting to know them and learn who they are.
For me, the third date always meant that I liked that persosn, I can hang with them and I want to get to know them better. It doesn’t mean that I sit there all uptight counting down the minutes to the end of date one, counting down the minutes in the second date, and then counting down the minutes to the third date when I can try to get her to come back to my house because it’s the third date and we have to have sex. C’mon…that’s ridiculous.
So from now on when you make it to three dates, instead of just thinking about sex why not ask yourself some better questions:
Do I like this person? Do I want to get to know this person better? Is this person someone whom I respect? Do I like their viewpoint? Can I imagine myself doing things with them (e.g., traveling, going out to dinner)? Do we share some of the same interests? Do I enjoy their company? Do I enjoy listening to them? Do I respect what they do for a living?
Instead of just thinking about whether you’ll vibe together in bed, think about whether you’ll vibe together as people. Because if you vibe together as people, the sex will be great. So stop thinking with Mr. Penis, and start thinking with your heart and with your head. Remember that whenever you let the penis do all of the thinking, the penis is usually wrong.
You know what’s funny too? Some people want to have sex right away. They want to live out a sexual fantasy, but they may have NO clue how to make that happen.
Today, I released a product about sexual fantasies (and how to make them a reality) BUT it’s only available to people on my private subscriber list. If you’re on that list, check your email inbox and the link to (and a video I created about) that product is contained in an email I sent you.
If you’re interested in this product and you’re not on my subscriber list, you have to sign up to be able to get it. Signing up is free, easy and fast — all you have to do is put your first name and email address in the box at the top right hand corner of the page.
David,
I have been hanging out with this girl with a while and we have fun and we have pretty good chemistry, but I know that I really need to escalate the sexual attraction level. What is the best way to do this? The videos here are great and I have watched all of them (I have watched most of them at least twice).
by the way, great blog today. I really like New Orleans and would like to go back soon. Last time I was down there it was St. Patrick’s Day. St. Patrick’s Day on Bourbon Street is a great experience!
Really enjoyed reading today’s blog David!
Thank you for the prize in the end:)
I just signed up really looking forward to get it soon!
Thanks David!
How long you stay at New Orleans? I was there last summer to visit family, I have to say it’s sad where the city is still today, how really the government screwed it up!
“Instead of just thinking about whether you’ll vibe together in bed, think about whether you’ll vibe together as people. Because if you vibe together as people, the sex will be great. So stop thinking with Mr. Penis, and start thinking with your heart and with your head. Remember that whenever you let the penis do all of the thinking, the penis is usually wrong.”
So well said, it totally hits home for me, just profound!!!
Hey Wygant Fan-
What is St.Patrick’s day like in Bourboun st.?
Hey I noticed you said you have family there, hope they were not effected and living well!
Lance- are you asking me? that’s what i am thinking…..
hahhahah ya sorry I meant you John.
My family had to buy a new home, lost possession of bunch of valuable assets. But most importantly health wise they are doing great now!
Thanks Lance!
Wygant Fan–there are lots of ways to elevate sexual attraction. Mainly it’s about creating sexual tension through your body language like with your eyes, touch and the way you say things….
There are a ton of stuff on this topic on the private subscriber site for more instructional information
I really enjoy how this blog gets interactive with other user:)
Another awesome video Dr. Hitch, I will not give it away but you guys will have to watch it.
Hi Coach Kimberly- how are you doing?
Lance,
St. Patrick’s Day on Bourbon Street is drinking, flashing, girls everywhere, did i mention flashing (lol?), street parade, more drinking, fun, and great crowds. It is like Mardi Gras but less crowded. The weather is probably better too!
I have been on no-sex third dates, and noticed that the woman got frustrated, for my not initiating. Then, women start asking questions like, did you ever talk to your father? Needless to say, these women don’t want to see me anymore.
dunno about the 3rd date thing. i’m hanging out with a lady i’ve
known for 25+ years, we go out, cook together, hang with friends,
are really getting to know each other. i’m getting companionship,
understanding, friendship, but, no sex yet. i could go for it anytime, but ain’t too worried about it. i like this woman enough
that i don’t want to put her off. she’s not ready(we’ve talked
about it). whenever we’re together, or even if we meet by chance
somewhere, she’s with me, even when other guys she knows are around.
im havin’ fun, so is she, so what’s the problem about some time
limit?
DRD, you must be 50+ years old, or have a low sex drive.
DRD, you are the friend… if you truly liked this woman in a romantic way… I don’t think you’d be hanging out with her for 25 years without trying to have sex with her.
It’s quite possible that you could have sex with her if you both decide it’d be right for the both of you… but the fact that you are just chilling with her for 25 years mean you probably don’t like her THAT way.
Wygant Fan,
You don’t need to ESCALATE the attraction level… what you need is to turn her on. She either IS or is NOT attracted to you. But for her to be open to the idea of having sex with you, you need to turn her on! So based on who you are, how are you going to turn her on? Are you gonna turn her on by looking at her intensely in the eyes and talking to her powerfully and seductively to her? Are you going to turn her on by touching her in casual yet sensual ways?
It’s really up to you! But until you decide to “turn her on”… you won’t be having sex with this girl anytime soon.