The Secret Behind My Blogs
May 11, 2009 
116 Comments
I was looking at my car the other day. Then I was driving and looking at the five cars driving near me, and I realized that I’ve owned each one of those cars in the last five years.
When I saw one of the cars I used to own, my first reaction was to think how cool that car is and to wonder why I had gotten rid of it. Then all of a sudden I realized that I really no longer care about what I drive.
I realized that driving in Los Angeles sucks no matter what car you’re driving. There are only a few things now that I care about having on any car I drive.
One thing that’s important to have is extra big bumpers, so I can push pedestrians through crosswalks a little faster. Power windows are also important to me, so I can easily put them up and down to let other drivers know exactly what I think of their driving skills. What’s really important, though, is an extra loud horn so I can wake up all the drivers who don’t ever seem to be paying attention.
I am waiting for someone to invent a car that can drive itself, so that I can text the entire time I’m in traffic. The fact is that driving and spending time in traffic are such a waste of time.
There are so many better things you can do in your car than just driving . . . like writing blogs. You know, people always wonder how I am able to write so many blogs and whether I actually write my own blogs.
No, there’s no secret newspaper from which I steal them. Of course I write them!
I write them when I’m in traffic, when I’m on the beach and even when I’m on the toilet. I write blogs whenever I have the urge to write one. I’ve even written blogs after sex. I have never written a blog during sex, because that would be too much like a Seinfeld episode (Remember George eating the sandwich in bed?)
i really find the best and most creative time for me to write blogs is when I’m angry. I hate driving in Los Angeles. I despise it to be honest, but for some reason or other it really makes my creative juices flow. In fact, I’ve found some of my best blog ideas come to me while I’m in traffic.
Now I’m sure you’re wondering how I do all this blog writing in traffic, especially since California passed a law where it’s illegal to type on your BlackBerry while you’re driving (Of course it is still legal to roll down your window and curse at people while you drive).
So how, then, am I doing all this blog writing in traffic? Are you wondering if I have my laptop with me as I drive around stealing wireless Internet signals? The answer to that is no. Do I use a dictation service? The answer to that is also no.
How I manage to write all these blogs in traffic is really my secret and yours to discover. In fact, the first person to guess correctly how I write blogs in traffic gets an hour of free phone coaching . . . while I’m in traffic. I don’t think anyone will figure it out, but go ahead and get the guesses started!
my guess is that you are using a voice to text program, either the one in Word or something on your Blackberry (although I’m not familiar with Blackberry’s I’m sure there is an application out there).
Either way, I do enjoy reading them. I wish I could read them while I’m on my 90-120 minute commute!!
My guess is that you’re not actually driving, its you’re girlfriend or your dog Daphne. Nice touch with the Seinfeld reference. I bet you could probably relate every blog to a Seinfeld episode.
Nick
Nice guess but you are wrong:)
DJ@
hmmm…a driver that would be fun but i only drive 250 miles per month!!
so now lets see how you deal with that curveball
Dave
I can see it now you are driving and all of a sudden a light bulb. Then I hear screeching tires and the blog comes in mind…Funny I was a passenger in a car riding in LA…I used to say drive in Nashville live to tell about it you can drive anywhere. After that ride and my nerves calmed down I changed my mind. There is a game by Microsoft called Midtown Madness I played it and laughed myself stupid especially following pedestrians on the sidewalk and blow the horn and they get up against the wall.
My madness behind the wheel is when I get behind a car and they are traveling slow you know the type trying to break the land speed record: I usually say can’t drive it park it. Or senior citizens day out.
Oddly enough even I don’t know how you write those blogs! My only guess is that you record them onto that digital recorder of yours first, then send the audio over to someone who transcribes it.
I don’t know how you write them but they are great!!! My guess would be that you type them on your blackberry while you are in traffic.
Doesn’t matter that it’s illegal
Hmmmm…. either you videorecord yourself with your phone (which is probably strategically secured somewhere to your dashboard) or you have one of those old-time recording devices that people used to bring to class in college to record lectures…
Peter
Not that good with my thumbs!!
Taras
You are 100% correct on some of the blogs. But some of the others are done in a whole different way.
Tee
You are very creative!!!
And by the way, do you really shout at other drivers while you are driving?! Aren’t you scared that some crazy guy is going to beat you up
maybe you leave yourself a voicemail
David,
Dictates it to someone on a phone or have your passenger write them. I dont know whats more intriguing you some how jotting them down while driving or the fact Daphne is your ghost writer.
Go Daphne we all knew you were the brains behind it all. (-:
Thanks! I have one more… you call yourself and leave a message
oops, Marc already said that… sorry, don’t mean to copycat
I’m going to guess a good old fashion pen and paper. Surely you’re in gridlock long enough to warrant the time for such an endeavour.
I don’t have a guess, but I do have comments about LA traffic.
I gave up driving in LA quite some time ago by accident. Years later I think I am a much better person as a result. LA is not like other cities where you adapt to the driving styles you find there. Here, everyone drives differently an everyone assumes that everyone else’s way of driving is the worst.
I wish LA would enact the “horns only for emergencies” law like in Paris and New York. Sure it is annoying to be stuck behind someone not paying attention, but it is also extremely hard to write when you hear horns honking all day long.
David, for every pedestrian that gives you trouble, I could tell you a story about a driver who doesn’t pay attention and nearly takes me out when I try and cross a street. It’s not a drivers versus pedestrians world, its an inept versus capable world. I’m a capable pedestrian and as long as you pay attention to me on the road, I’ll pay attention to your car.
Last thought. Driving has been proven to be one of the most creative moments for any person to experience on a regular basis. They say it is because the brain has to speed up its “blink” or snap judgement processes to accomadate all the variables that good driving needs. So even if you find yourself angry about where you are driving, your creativity is in full gear to handle all of the challenges road work in LA can bring.
Mike
Mike
Driving IN la is the title to a blog later this week so save the amazing stories for that one:) and i agree people have no idea how to drive and deal with people crossing.
But so many pedestrians have such arrogance and stop traffic and slowly walk across a street screeching traffic to a halt.
Alex
My handwriting is so bad that even i cant read it:)
Marina
Daphne now that is a great guess.
Dictating to someone you are getting very warm:)
Peter
I have no fears and when i shout at the drivers i have my cell phone to my ear so they think i am shouting at someone on the phone:)
Marc
If i was a good typist that would be a great way to do that.
But as you can see from my short answers typing is not my thing!
I say you dictate to your girlfriend or assistant while your on a blue tooth device
Nick
No blue tooth i think they are really geeeky to walk around looking like a reject from a star trek convention:)
girlfriend too busy….
assistant is really close you are getting warmer
you pay a service to transcribe your dictation
You relate your blogs to whatever song you have playing on your radio.
Sandra, you are right Nashville is a crazy place to drive. I catch hell everyday, (I-40 and I-24).
long time no see people i been working a lot trying to save up some money.
as you guys noticed i also changed my name to yours howe:) and about the blog i think you voice record it and then it translates somewhere and send you an email thats what i think, i hope i am right.
Tee
Ok you have part of it.
I do pay a service to transcribe my blogs but who makes them perfect?
And I also wrote blogs 3 different ways:)
Waveman
Good theory maybe i should start doing that!!
I have no idea David, however your blog kick ass!!!
Yours Howie
Very close on one part…keep guessing
your coaches review the blogs once they come back from the transcription service. You put the final stamp on it
Tee
I have someone something that is behind the scenes….
Good guess though and maybe i should make the coaches work harder:)
You have a blog editing robot
You know I have always wondered how you manage to write the blog every single day, where you get the ideas from, it’s very interesting to read that you write them when you are driving or doing other things, that is highly creative David, and that is why your blog kickass like Rick mentioned!
You must have an assistant or intern helping you
I actually know how you write all these blogs in traffic, David, because I was one of the few people who were with you when you did it. In fact, I now use the same method for myself. However, I will decide to allow someone else (who could really use the hour of phone coaching) to answer your question. If you want, David, I can give you my answer in a private e-mail, so you can let me know if I’m correct. I know part of it involves your assistant, Rey, as your helper.
Rey: You are not allowed to answer this question.
you are outsourcing- some poor girl in india is typing it all while you text her or leave a voicemail:)
now am i right or what, can’t wait to get my free 1hr coaching.
howe keep guessing:)
I will keep my mouth shut since I know.
coach yakub- if i win can i have one hour with you?
Sure howe when David picks the winner!
I always thought it was your intern helping you, now I am curious:)
i think david has a twin that does the blog:)
If David did have a twin, the only person I can think of being close Coach Yakub:)
That is very funny jimmi and howe!
You record them when you’re out or whenever you have a thought and you transcribe them later
hello there gents and my girlfriends:)
I would love to have the younger version of david since he is not available anymore:)
hi Lisa where have you been?
and How is BOB doing?
Lisa: You can have me if you want.
ohhhhhh BOB is great, lately I am craving the real thing:)
David just replicates himself… and his other self writes the blog!
LISA:
YOU CAN HAVE ME AT ANY TIME:)
And don’t forget to change BOB’s name to howe:)
coach Khiem- how many replicates does he have, are you one of them:)
how do you guys insert the smiley face on the blog???
Jimmi,
My name is really not Khiem… it’s just a fake name for David #29!!! LOL
For the smileys, Just type the symbols for it… and html will change it to the smiley face… so it’s the : and the ) symbol.
And…
DanielTheConversationalist-
I would love to have you if you know how to give multiple orgasm before you jam it inside of me:)
lisa- your dirty talk making me get a hard on, i can’t stop thinking about you.
coach khiem-
David #29 LOL
thanks for the smiley help!
David #29 hahhahahah
Lisa- what can I say, you are right the younger the better:)
how did this turn into sex again LMFAO
I just think You call your friend and he/she writes it on the blog.
how do i become a replica of david coaches?
i really think it is done by someone over india, mexico, and or china
David voice records them, then write them later?
Or, escriptionist.com? Its pretty cheap lol.
howe- you become replica after the bootcamp:)
Actually, we don’t replicate ourselves in you… you just do it on your own after the bootcamp b/c you love us so much
you have someone in the car with you as you talk typing it all down for you. either that or you conference call someone.
that is my best guess. a conference call or just a regular call talkin to one of your helpers as you drive unloading the thoughts on your mind for the blog and they enter it and edit it all later.
The way your blogs are sometimes written have a certain flow to them that only comes from speaking. In otherwords its seems a lot more spontaneous and natural, and it doesnt feel like I’m reading a nit-picked script.
My guess is that you speak to your assistant, and since I doubt you bring your assistant everywhere you go, you probably speak to him on the phone. Whether or not you leave a voicemail message probably depends on what you both are doing, and changes with the day.
Waveman
You know what I am talking about then the one I love is when I have my signal on and the person behind me wants that same lane oops first come first serve and when I get on interstate they better give me room or I will make room. Ever been down Charlotte Avenue I am at Wal Mart.
I believe David has a brother somewhere did I see a pic of him somewhere.
It’s ray writing it down. (-:
or is his name Rey, (-: who writes them down
David on your phone you call Rey and he writes it down
Rey is in the car with you writing it down as you speak, and Daphne proof reads, she is a bit of a control freak (-:
David you call Rey and he records it down and then he writes it down.
I wonder if Rey is sitting with David while he is driving, and Rey is simply taking notes on what David is saying. Then again, Rey could be writing everything that David is saying verbatim; of course, some grammar editing would be required.
Dave
P.S. I wonder what the blog would look like if I were editing it.
I am sure Rey is the one who transcribes it into electronic format for the blog. David usually slaves him to death.
I would slave him to death too.
Rey: You work too much. Tell David to give you some free time, so you can join us for the next UFC match.
H. Lisa: You will have to find out for yourself.
Those of you who have attended David’s Bootcamps will know the answer to his question about how he writes these blogs. Those who know the answer to this question can understand why he goes from one train of thought to the next train of thought within the same blog entries.
Sandra
Yea I have been to the Charlotte Ave Walmart a few times. I live in Hermitage so its less traffic here. But the worst traffic is downtown switching from I-40 West to I-40 East heading towards Knoxville. The other drivers also have a tendency of moving over without putting on a signal lmao!
Actually i write the blogs for david everyone! JUST KIDDING. : )
The “car” that drives itself has already been invented and you don’t even need to buy it! :0) Check it out!
http://www.skytran.net/phpsite/home/Home%20Intro.php?bg=neg It’ll be cool if the cities ever agree to install them.
I think you’ve got this metal bowl that you wear on your head with wires coming out of it every half inch, that has a psychic connection to a universal translator android that you have hidden in your closet. When you’re finished the android comes out, unplugs it’s head and connects it to the keyboard socket on your laptop to transfer the file.
I could be wrong though.
good guess
i need to clear a few things.
rey no longer works for me…he is full time in school and having a blast:)
Anthony
Nice guess but you and dan know how i get this done and i am glad that none of you did not blow the whistle.
So Far what we know is this.
I have a little recorder that i speak into.
I use a transcription service.
But all of you have missed this part of the puzzle.
I have 2 people who I use to help me with the blogs.
So now knowing that information how does all this happen?
It’s MAAAAGIC! or the good fairy, eh?
Okay, so there is a recorder that David speaks into, and he uses a transcription service, not to mention that there are two people that helps him with the blogs. If I did not have so many excuses not gamble making me a gambling man, I would be willing to bet that the little recorder that David uses is that voice recording feature in his Blackberry. (I wonder if iPhone has an app for that!) I cannot say which transcription service David uses as I am unfamiliar with the ones that are out there, especially in California. As for his two assistants, perhaps he uses two transcription services. I recall that David does indeed use an editor. I would like to say that Tyler is at least one of his editors; however, he seems to be more of a webmaster than an editor of written English. Tyler might be the one that actually posts the blogs on this site as he is one that designs the site. Another person that might have some responsibility for the blog could be Khiem; he has written a column on this site on occasion. Yakub may be involved as well. The blog would probably very well written if Kimberly was involved as her writing seems to be very polished and elegant, but I doubt that she has anything to do with it. Is that any closer, David?
Dave
david,
since your blogs are so natural so i think you dictate or record your voice and give it to some hired professional one to type and after that before posting you do the final correction.
am i right.
david,
since your blogs are so natural so i think you dictate or record your voice and give it to some hired professional one to type and after that before posting you do the final correction.
am i right.
Dave–great comprehensive guess! And thank you for your sweet compliment. David, I think Dave should get a free half hour from each of us for that one! Maybe for the people who guessed part of it can get the other coaches as a constellation prize
And the big winner still goes to……
Recorder to transcription service (likely one based in India), it comes back as text and THEN it is emailed to Khiem who edits it nicely. Why Khiem? Well, as a non native English speaker, Khiem knows his grammar and is one of the rare Asians who does not screw up the “s” at the end of the words:-)
Please email me to schedule the free coaching session:-)
Well, what you could do is use Google Voice, call your own number to leave a voicemail. As Google automatically converts all voicemails to text. Then you have an assistant go over it and correct any errors in the transcription and make any grammatical edits or whatnot.
ok we got the recorder and the transcription service, then I think you use Khiem as one of the people, have to make sure you don’t get sued…so much for your “fuck it” attitude…JK and rey as the other.
btw…did you like my name i changed it just for you;)
D. does go from one train of thought to another, I have never noticed it before until you mentioned it Dantheconversationlist:)
whats up Lance! how is the love life going:)
howe- what’s happening buddy?
Love life is getting better after listening to the MMS and putting it to practice, I do see a huge energy shift in me so which is great!
you are scaring my Howe, you are like a chameleon, changing names toning down. (-:
You know you are desperate when you copy and paste forever
ok we got the recorder and the transcription service, then I think you use Kristen as one of the people, have to make sure you don’t get sued…so much for your “fuck it” attitude…JK and Adam as the other.
With the time difference Adam would be the one being the most awake.
did anyone come close to get it right or what?
People came very close and next week i will announce the sort of winner and how things get done….or i just may keep the contest going.
Marina
You are actually the closest one to getting this right but y fuck it attitude has nothing to do with it!!
So close though…
David just jk with the fuck it attitude
ok we got the recorder and the transcription service, then I think you use Kristen as one of the people, have to make sure you don’t get sued…so much for your “fuck it” attitude…JK and Kimberly as the other.
ok we got the recorder and the transcription service, then I think you use Kristen as one of the people, have to make sure you don’t get sued…so much for your “fuck it” attitude…JK and yakub as the other.
ok we got the recorder and the transcription service, then I think you use Kristen as one of the people, have to make sure you don’t get sued…so much for your “fuck it” attitude…JK and Khiem as the other.
Lawyer girl I am putting a lot of faith in you. Come through on this one for me
I’d guess that the transcription service is a computer program, such as Google Voice, Jott, or similar. But that is error prone so someone who knows David (and would know what he meant and his general speaking style) would need to do a first pass cleanup of the transcript so that he could easily come back to refine and finish the blog post.
Waveman
Ever been at the bottleneck of Trinity Lane where I 65 bottlenecks with one of the other Interstates. That is fun but I am thinking about somewhere near Metro Center boulevard vicinity.
telepathy
Sandra
No, I have never been to bottleneck before. I have been other places downtown, and near Metro Center.
Waveman
The bottleneck is where you come away from Trinity Lane exits and it is I65 South and it bottlenecks into I40 and you go down and see I24. But I do understand about I40 too many wrecks. I use to live near I65 in White House TN and walked upside a hill to see an accident. I usually go down Briley Parkway home. 155.
Oh Waveman
Before I forget have you been in Nashville driving and all of a sudden the first snowflake falls then everyone is bumper to bumper and hitting ditches. One night I was coming through Bordeaux and seen cars over the bridge. Then they pass a State Trooper and they have him blocked now I have seen that or the Christmas Tree redlights come on.
Sandra
Yea I have been in that. Driving in Nashville during the snow or the little snow that falls is an experience HAHAHA! Since I’ve moved here I did get hit one time on my rear bumper when it was raining one day while driving in traffic on I-65 South. I do notice that when a people see a State Trooper or Metro Police the traffic gets backed up horribly for no reason. However, I would say the biggest scare of driving here is people swerving into lanes directly in front of you, and immediately stumping on their brakes!!!! That is something I still haven’t gotten used to.
Waveman
I was born and raised in Tennessee the one I like is when the person awaits the one traveling on the main road and once you are near them they pull out in front of you. I have had a few near misses in my driving career. I decide just to drive like them. You know people should take a drivers course in LA for they would know how to dodge each other.
youve just stated one of the reasons I dont fancy taking up driving soon!
Really with the continued quality of your blogs pretty much every day (I like to think I’m honest enough to think the vast minority of your blogs are written when you’re mind isnt particuarly on the blog, or you’re totally affixed to one particuar thing, which we’re all human anyway)
; I’m surprised you havent had a shot at doing your own daytime thing, if not your own MTV thing, instead of all the jeremy crap like we get here in the UK!
This is going to sound weird to those who were not there on the Monday after the 2008 London bootcamp.
David, I doubt you’ve ever done a blog post while on the toilet (unless you did it on purpose or have changed your habits since then). Remember I recorded the conversation that took place at lunch in the restaurant. I can definitely say that it was the strangest conversation I’ve ever been a part of.