Comments on: Keep Him Intrigued! http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:04:02 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: horsegirl http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29985 horsegirl Wed, 29 Jul 2009 07:37:06 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29985 Khiem - thanks so much for your insight and comments - it's obvious you are very wise and insightful. And, yes, I am in love with him - fortunately or unfortunately for me! This will work out how God has planned it too, I know. We (as people) seem to get in our own way alot though. ~ Karen ~ Khiem – thanks so much for your insight and comments – it’s obvious you are very wise and insightful. And, yes, I am in love with him – fortunately or unfortunately for me! This will work out how God has planned it too, I know. We (as people) seem to get in our own way alot though. ~ Karen ~

]]> By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29945 Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:14:00 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29945 Horsegirl, I think your situation is a prime example of what guys need to learn. Most guys know how to lead a woman into wanting to date them. They WANT to get laid, so they do everything they know to attract and seduce the woman in all the right ways. They try to create magic out of the interaction but once in the relationship, they really don't give a second thought to what they want to make out of the relationship. Just like anything in life, you got to give your relationship a direction. Horsegirl, if you are still happy with your relationship, don't change anything... but consider pulling back from him a bit. Don't chase after him constantly in telling him what you want out of the relationship, don't pressure him to choose anything. Slowly pull back the desire you have been showing in wanting to be in his life. If he's smart, he'll feel that something is wrong. He'll get worried that maybe you're starting to see someone else on the side. That little pinch in the heart may give him enough of a kick in the ass for him to truly evaluate if he wants something more serious with you. If he doesn't, there's no reason to continue your relationship with him. A relationship is a 2 way effort. It sounds like you want to work things with him to accommodate his life and his personal sense of timing... but does he do anything to accommodate your needs and desires as well? On a different note, I'd want you to take some time to really be honest with yourself: Do you just love him as a person... or are you in love with him? Loving someone just means you care for them... and you can love a lot of people... but you don't have to be in a relationship with a person you aren't in love with. Think about it. Horsegirl,

I think your situation is a prime example of what guys need to learn.

Most guys know how to lead a woman into wanting to date them. They WANT to get laid, so they do everything they know to attract and seduce the woman in all the right ways. They try to create magic out of the interaction but once in the relationship, they really don’t give a second thought to what they want to make out of the relationship.

Just like anything in life, you got to give your relationship a direction.

Horsegirl, if you are still happy with your relationship, don’t change anything… but consider pulling back from him a bit. Don’t chase after him constantly in telling him what you want out of the relationship, don’t pressure him to choose anything.

Slowly pull back the desire you have been showing in wanting to be in his life.

If he’s smart, he’ll feel that something is wrong. He’ll get worried that maybe you’re starting to see someone else on the side.

That little pinch in the heart may give him enough of a kick in the ass for him to truly evaluate if he wants something more serious with you.

If he doesn’t, there’s no reason to continue your relationship with him.

A relationship is a 2 way effort. It sounds like you want to work things with him to accommodate his life and his personal sense of timing… but does he do anything to accommodate your needs and desires as well?

On a different note, I’d want you to take some time to really be honest with yourself: Do you just love him as a person… or are you in love with him?

Loving someone just means you care for them… and you can love a lot of people… but you don’t have to be in a relationship with a person you aren’t in love with.

Think about it.

]]> By: horsegirl http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29944 horsegirl Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:28:47 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29944 Khiem - Once again - you are pretty much right on with your comments. Yes, I do have my own, very fulfilling, life - I have a stable, professional career, two awesome pro-level competition horses, my own friends, etc. We do make time for each other most all of each weekend as we don't see each other during most weeks. Even when he is in town, I work 12 hour nights, so we just stay at our own place during those weeks. His reply to going further than just exclusive dating after 3 years is that we 'are on the same path, just going at different speeds.' I am beginning to think that is guy-speak for 'I don't know what I really want/don't want and I don't know if I would want it with you.' He says he doesn't want to lose me, but he doesn't want to change things 'right now'. It seems that it is always the girl that has to say, 'I'm not hanging around to wait for you, but you can try calling someday if you ever decide what you want - maybe I'll still be available.' That's horrendously hard to do when you love someone. Guys, it would be to your benefit to take the responsibility for making that move sometimes. Otherwise, it looks like ya'll enjoy leading us on until we either wise up or get tired of the 'game'. I have seen women get 'crazy', 'dramatic', irrational,etc when this happens - while I don't approve, I can certainly understand the feeling. If you don't like it when women act this way, then be careful how you treat us. Be honest with us - it's not that hard! (BTW - he has been married previously,so he is familiar with committment.) Khiem – Once again – you are pretty much right on with your comments.
Yes, I do have my own, very fulfilling, life – I have a stable, professional career, two awesome pro-level competition horses, my own friends, etc.
We do make time for each other most all of each weekend as we don’t see each other during most weeks. Even when he is in town, I work 12 hour nights, so we just stay at our own place during those weeks.
His reply to going further than just exclusive dating after 3 years is that we ‘are on the same path, just going at different speeds.’ I am beginning to think that is guy-speak for ‘I don’t know what I really want/don’t want and I don’t know if I would want it with you.’ He says he doesn’t want to lose me, but he doesn’t want to change things ‘right now’.
It seems that it is always the girl that has to say, ‘I’m not hanging around to wait for you, but you can try calling someday if you ever decide what you want – maybe I’ll still be available.’ That’s horrendously hard to do when you love someone.
Guys, it would be to your benefit to take the responsibility for making that move sometimes. Otherwise, it looks like ya’ll enjoy leading us on until we either wise up or get tired of the ‘game’. I have seen women get ‘crazy’, ‘dramatic’, irrational,etc when this happens – while I don’t approve, I can certainly understand the feeling. If you don’t like it when women act this way, then be careful how you treat us. Be honest with us – it’s not that hard! (BTW – he has been married previously,so he is familiar with committment.)

]]> By: horsegirl http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29927 horsegirl Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:18:28 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29927 Khiem - Thank you for your reply. Yes, I do have my own life - I have a stable career, my own home, 2 pro-level competition horses, my own friends, etc. I so tend to center most weekends around he & I though, since Fri - Sun/early Mon are usually our only time to spend together. Even when he is in town all week, I work 12-hour nights, so those days/nights we aren't together. Our time is pretty equally spent between what each of us likes to do. He has said he thinks we are on the same path, but at different speeds. (?) This does tend to make me agree with you that he really doesn't know what he wants and/or when he wants it. He doesn't want to live together (that's okay with me-it's too precarious in alot of ways.), but he says he doesn't want to lose me. He says he loves me, but just wants his life like it is for now...... Any suggestions on how I can make it easier for me to move on? I agree with you that it probably would be best, but I love him, too, & of course don't want to make a huge mistake. (Why is it always easier to give advice than to take it??? I'd probably be suggesting the same things you are!) Khiem – Thank you for your reply. Yes, I do have my own life – I have a stable career, my own home, 2 pro-level competition horses, my own friends, etc. I so tend to center most weekends around he & I though, since Fri – Sun/early Mon are usually our only time to spend together. Even when he is in town all week, I work 12-hour nights, so those days/nights we aren’t together. Our time is pretty equally spent between what each of us likes to do.
He has said he thinks we are on the same path, but at different speeds. (?) This does tend to make me agree with you that he really doesn’t know what he wants and/or when he wants it. He doesn’t want to live together (that’s okay with me-it’s too precarious in alot of ways.), but he says he doesn’t want to lose me. He says he loves me, but just wants his life like it is for now…… Any suggestions on how I can make it easier for me to move on? I agree with you that it probably would be best, but I love him, too, & of course don’t want to make a huge mistake. (Why is it always easier to give advice than to take it??? I’d probably be suggesting the same things you are!)

]]> By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29916 Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) Tue, 28 Jul 2009 01:35:59 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29916 Horsegirl, I like what you are doing. I can tell you care about him and are supportive of him... but do you also have a life of your own or does your life solely revolve around his? Make sure to keep a balance. You don't want to lose your own self while in the relationship. On a different note, how serious is he truly with you? If after 3 years, you both don't seem to share similar goals... maybe he's either 1. not seeing how great you are and therefore not truly appreciating you enough. or 2. not ready because he really doesn't know what he wants. In either case, time to move on! Horsegirl,

I like what you are doing. I can tell you care about him and are supportive of him… but do you also have a life of your own or does your life solely revolve around his?

Make sure to keep a balance. You don’t want to lose your own self while in the relationship.

On a different note, how serious is he truly with you? If after 3 years, you both don’t seem to share similar goals… maybe he’s either 1. not seeing how great you are and therefore not truly appreciating you enough. or 2. not ready because he really doesn’t know what he wants.

In either case, time to move on!

]]> By: horsegirl http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29856 horsegirl Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:35:08 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29856 Khiem - you make excellent, valid points. However, I do all those things, especially showing interest, supporting and doing things to attempt to make my guy's life easier, etc. I always ask about his day/work, offer to do things for him while he's working out of town (which he does 3 - 4 days per week almost every week) if I can see he is getting behind/stressed about something from being gone from home so much. I encourage him to share about hopes, dreams and just his general interests. I have become interested in and enjoy college football since I have started seeing him and have really enjoyed saltwater fishing with him. All for naught - he doesn't want more than to date for 3 years ----- ???? Khiem – you make excellent, valid points. However, I do all those things, especially showing interest, supporting and doing things to attempt to make my guy’s life easier, etc. I always ask about his day/work, offer to do things for him while he’s working out of town (which he does 3 – 4 days per week almost every week) if I can see he is getting behind/stressed about something from being gone from home so much. I encourage him to share about hopes, dreams and just his general interests. I have become interested in and enjoy college football since I have started seeing him and have really enjoyed saltwater fishing with him. All for naught – he doesn’t want more than to date for 3 years —– ????

]]> By: Mee http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29771 Mee Wed, 22 Jul 2009 06:57:20 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29771 Really good advice, Khiem! Some of my girls act these ways you mentioned and I feel myself drawn towards them. Really good advice, Khiem! Some of my girls act these ways you mentioned and I feel myself drawn towards them.

]]> By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29744 Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) Tue, 21 Jul 2009 17:34:27 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29744 I have a few tips for women as well. I've met a couple girls that I feel are MASTERS at having guys in their lives... and after careful observation, I can confidently say this: - when you touch a man, make him feel like you are really excited to see him. Every time I meet up with this girl, she either kisses me on the cheek or hug me so excitingly that I'd really feel her lips smack loudly against my cheek... or her boobs would really squish tightly against my chest. Every time she does it, even though I know she does it with all her guy friends, it makes me feel like she really likes me. - Have a genuine interesting in a guy's life. The girl I'm currently dating always shows genuine interest in what I do. Not only she asks me about the things I do, she also always asks me how she can support me or help me.... or participate in the things that I do. It shows real care and love... and it makes me more attracted to her. It also makes me want to do things more for her.... buy her little gifts for appreciations... etc. So if you feel a man never buy you gifts... maybe that's why! Show him that you are just as interested in him as he is in you. - I think this last one is a bit obvious... but learn to insinuate sexy/sexual things. I know women don't want to come off as sluts... but a woman who knows how to "innocently" insinuate sexy or sexual activities through normal conversations will always get a man's attention. Men are horny!!! If you can get him mind thinking or imagining about naughty things.... well, guess what? He'll definitely pay attention.... and who knows... he might pull off some even more charming moves back on you! I have a few tips for women as well. I’ve met a couple girls that I feel are MASTERS at having guys in their lives… and after careful observation, I can confidently say this:
- when you touch a man, make him feel like you are really excited to see him. Every time I meet up with this girl, she either kisses me on the cheek or hug me so excitingly that I’d really feel her lips smack loudly against my cheek… or her boobs would really squish tightly against my chest. Every time she does it, even though I know she does it with all her guy friends, it makes me feel like she really likes me.
- Have a genuine interesting in a guy’s life. The girl I’m currently dating always shows genuine interest in what I do. Not only she asks me about the things I do, she also always asks me how she can support me or help me…. or participate in the things that I do. It shows real care and love… and it makes me more attracted to her. It also makes me want to do things more for her…. buy her little gifts for appreciations… etc. So if you feel a man never buy you gifts… maybe that’s why! Show him that you are just as interested in him as he is in you.
- I think this last one is a bit obvious… but learn to insinuate sexy/sexual things. I know women don’t want to come off as sluts… but a woman who knows how to “innocently” insinuate sexy or sexual activities through normal conversations will always get a man’s attention. Men are horny!!! If you can get him mind thinking or imagining about naughty things…. well, guess what? He’ll definitely pay attention…. and who knows… he might pull off some even more charming moves back on you!

]]> By: Sandra http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29730 Sandra Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:54:34 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29730 Speaking of scooby doo guys this one guy that I am interested in he will touch me I will do the same back. In the meantime I will tell him something encouraging and off we go...That is what I call good communication and letting each other hey I am still interested. Speaking of scooby doo guys this one guy that I am interested in he will touch me I will do the same back. In the meantime I will tell him something encouraging and off we go…That is what I call good communication and letting each other hey I am still interested.

]]> By: MAC http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-scooby-doo-of-men/385/#comment-29728 MAC Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:09:58 +0000 http://blog.davidwygant.com/?p=385#comment-29728 David! DId you see the opening act of the three siblings, Kitty, Daisy and Lewis???? They are part of the 50's scene which I am much a part of!!! They are so awesome too! If you saw them, what did you think? David!

DId you see the opening act of the three siblings, Kitty, Daisy and Lewis???? They are part of the 50’s scene which I am much a part of!!! They are so awesome too! If you saw them, what did you think?

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