They say that in life, it is the most tenatious people who always seem to get what they want. Let’s take this a step further.
When it comes to asking a woman out on a date, you ask once or maybe twice and that’s it. There are other areas of life, however, where it behooves you to become a pain in the ass.
Let me give you an example. I live in a building that has tandem parking and parking spots that are very close together.
My neighbors are inconsiderate and rude. Whenever they get out of their cars with grocery bags, they do the pinball maneuver in between our cars and scratch the side of my car. This really angers me because I am very respectful of other people’s things.
I would never open my car door and let it hit and mark up a car next to me. I also would never set my keys or my shopping bag on someone else’s car and scratch their paint so they have to spend a couple hundred dollars to color sand their car. That’s just not me.
So I’ve been trying to get the management company to move me into the big garage (which is reserved for people who live in the bigger apartments). There are four big apartments, and the people who live in them get the four good spots in the big garage.
So I’ve been asking for a new parking spot nonstop for a year. I call the management office, ask the woman on the phone about her day and then say, “Where’s my new parking spot?” Finally, as a result of my consistent badgering (or what like to call “persuasive talking”), I am going to get a new spot so my car will no longer be scratched. Now someone else will have my spot and get their car scratched for a while.
In life, you need to be really persistent in everything you do. Don’t ask for something once, and don’t expect someone to get back to you. Don’t ever expect anything.
You need to take a stand for anything you want in life. So the next time you don’t get want you want — whether it’s in business or in your personal life — take a stand for it.
If you’re dating online and you emailed a woman a month or two ago who didn’t respond to you, find her again online and send her another email. Now don’t send an email every day, because even persistence needs to be spaced out properly.
In my example with the car, I wasn’t calling every single day. That crosses the line from persistence into pestering. Pestering just drives people crazy.
A friendly reminder or call about something once a week or every couple weeks, however, is what makes people successful. Persistence is what you need to succeed in life.
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I seem to remember hearing a story a while ago (maybe from you?) about a company that would call potential candidates and tell them all that they did not get the job. If a candidate fought for the job, they were offered it. If not, even if they were qualified, they were not offered the job. The company believed that if people would fight for the job they wanted, they would fight for everything else they wanted in the company and get results.
Congratulations on getting your new parking space David. You got results!
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More good advice. I’ve been accused of being more persistent than what is socially appropriate, but that was in my “socially retarded” days. I think the key is to be casual with every area of communication, but it’s also good to add that extra nudge if need be. If I email or text someone (by the way, Ive just emaled you, David, although I know that typically costs money, which I would be willing to pay for a response), then I remember that if they want to talk to me, they’ll get return the favor. I’ve found that it’s always better when speaking to someone who really wants to talk to you as much as you’d like to speak to them. And the rest? Well, honestly, fuck them.
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Very well explanation!
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Persistence in the end always pays off big dividends, I believed this as a kid because my grandfather would drill this to me everyday until i turned 18.
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I bet you were really persistent you don’t want anyone to hit the new beamer:)
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Collin
That is a great way to test peoples willingness to fight for things they really want. Persistence and patience does really pay off in the end!!!
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collin: i am curious what was the last thing you were persistent about?
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This is something work in progress for me!
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Drew: I agree if they don’t so fuckem:)
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I think it takes both persistence and patience as well. If we do this too often it gets irritating to both men and women.
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So there is a difference between persistence and being needy.
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Iron Man,
Most notably would be my motorcycle. My parents were always telling me that they would disown me if I got one. A year or two, a little logic, and a lot of persistence later, I currently own a motorcycle and have their full support.
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Persistence…
I’d like to think of that as consistency. If you are consistent in asking for what you want, you’ll eventually get it.
I remember when I was looking for a corporate job, I wouldn’t settle until I felt satisfied with the position they had to offer…. and even though I was among the later guys to get hired from my “incoming class”, I got what I wanted!
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Collin–well put. I think part of persistence with something too is being passionate about what you want. This completely relates to dating. You become attractive when you are a passionate person and you go after what you want. A woman likes a man who is strong in their convictions so go for it! Here is a great example of persistence for those of you who saw Million Dollar Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYJnFQE7evQ
What are all of you passionate about?
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haven’t checked on DW in a while now…
great message!
I’ve been focusing on relaxing, doing the things I like to do, being respectful to those in my life, etc… In general, being the best person I can be, like David would advocate. Right now, personal life isn’t a major focus of mine… but I can see women noticing me because of my healthier energy….
David has good messages and he’s right; its about being yourself.
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I am passionate about playing music & entertaining. A little shameless promotion here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJHbA0X-fF0
Entertainment and music is all about persistence. If you want to play festivals, if you want radio play, if you want a certain gig, it all applies, especially when you are independent (manage and book yourself) You need to be working the phones and hustling until you have steady work.
When I get frustrated, I tell myself- Greg- you’ve practiced hard for many years- it is too late to give up. If I’ve come this far, am I going to let a few obstacles get in my way? No!
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Excellent piece written. I have explored lots of different coaches and systems. Alot of them either dont make sense or have some flawed logic to them. Wygant’s material was sheer common sense to me and stuff that didnt make me feel like a douchebag when communicating. Recently I bought material not because I needed to find a girl- but because I actually did. One that was finally worthy of my attention (Yes! Intelligence is hot!). And I definitely don’t want mess this up. Your blog got my attention and spoke to me and basically said to me,”Go for it and this time don’t give up. Some things are worth fighting for.”
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I sometimes wish that all individuals in my demographic could realize that we’re young, and nothing should stop us from conquering and achieving. I become doubtful at times, but I remind myself that the most difficult part of becoming a successful filmmaker is actually choosing to go all the way and just mak a movie. Quentin Tarantino said it best. “If you want to make a movie, make a movie.”
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i agreed with you david.
another words to describe is consistent.
Never Give Up
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Coach Kimberly- that was a great video, now i really want to see the movie, i felt the emotions in the little clip.
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And no matter what persistence always pays off in the end.
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Coach Kimberly:
I am passionate about my martial art that I practice called Capoeira. It’s a Brazilian martial art. The funny thing is when I talk about it with women, most of them are just sucked into my conversation about it, because I talk with such passion.
Oh, and by the way, this is the only martial art I have seen so far that attracts allot of women. I have been to events where there were more women then men atteding the particular event. Sometimes there are women-only events also.
Part of this martial art, is that it is part dance, part fight, it has music, some say even a level of spirituality.
I just got home from a Capoeira class I attented. I had to deliver a message from my teacher to the teacher of whom’s class I attented. I arrived late and he thought I wasn’t going to show up anymore. When I finally did arrive, all his students greeted me with a very warm welcome. I really felt the energy. It was something very unique.
For anyone who wants to check out this martial art, just type “capoeira” in youtube and search for some awesome clips
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F…I love it! Thanks for sharing. Great example!
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i agree with you david. a guy approached me a while back and i wasnt going to give him a chance at first, but he persistantly came to see me and asked for my number. so we ended up talking and going out on dates. im so glad he persisted now because ive found hes a great guy and we get on really well. now weve both got what we wanted
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