The Perfect New iPhone Dating App
April 6, 2010 
29 Comments
I have a great new app for iPhones. It’s perfect. It’s something you need to install and download right away on your own phone.
As a matter of fact, I am going to call Apple, and I’m going to get this thing done.
It’s an app that is called “Lower Your Standards Time!”
Picture it. It’s 1:00 am and you’re standing in a bar. You’re drunk. All of a sudden your phone starts going crazy — beeping and vibrating. You look at it, and it says “It’s Lower Your Standards Time!”
“Look, there’s a drunk girl leaning against the bar right now. She just made out with a random guy in the corner. It’s time for you to go over there and get her number. It’s time to lower your standards!”
It is hilarious what we do at 1:00 am. It’s almost like we’re one of Pavlov’s dogs.
It is 1:00 am and you haven’t been successful all night long, so you automatically lower your standards and go for whoever you can possibly get so you can validate yourself that night.
Why? You do it so you can tell your friends you got a phone number. You, however, never tell your friends that it’s the phone number of a woman who was drunk, vomiting at the bar and won’t even remember who you are when you call her.
So, really, I think you know where I’m going with this. Why ever lower your standards?
The only reason why you ever lower your standards is because you don’t have the balls to talk to women to whom you are attracted. You get all full of panic because your ego wants something.
Your ego desires to get a phone number. It validates you that you actually could do something — even if it’s something that totally lowers your standards.
So, you know what? I’m going to have you download this new “Lower Your Standards” app from Apple. That way you can always kid yourself and think that you’re more successful than you really are.
The other option is for you to get on the ball and really start to meet the women to whom you are most attracted. Which option seems better?
CLICK HERE to find out the one way to never again be stuck settling and lowering your standards — and to always CHOOSE the women you want to meet.
Have you been spying on me David? Ever since I started trying out online dating recently, I’ve had to deal with my horny-six pack in-3:00am self. I’ll come back from a night with the guys and suddenly I’m exchanging phone numbers and setting up coffee dates with girls I wouldn’t normally be interested in.
I need to have a rule that I only get on right before I go to bed. When I’m exhausted and really just want to go to sleep, the only girls I’ll message are the ones who are really worth my time, since any other girl is too much effort.
Collin,
It’s important that you “practice” in an environment where you want to actually play in.
Let’s take a sports analogy. If you wanted to be a champion in tennis, would you practice tennis playing against players in junior leagues? No!
So it’s the same with women, you have to know what you are looking for… and chat up the caliber of women you know you want.
Definitely. I do that normally. I mean, I can message the hottest girls and 3 out of 4 times, they’ll reply back. Turns out, funny, confident, and unique really do work. I’ve just had to learn to maintain my standards, even when I’ve had a couple beers.
Collin Does it really? I mean I heard women tell me that all they ant is Someone to talk to them, introduce hemselves. But I still find it so hard to talk to them both in school and out of school. Maybe I’m not looking or idk wat bu I stll can’t make conversation with hot chicks. I find nothing to talk about.
Mario, so you can’t find nothing to talk about?
Hey, I know your pain, I’ve been there and sometimes still find myself in such situations, although that happens less and less often nowadays.
David explained in one of his youtube videos 3 important rules:
1. Observe
2. Speak with conviction, you have to OWN what you say.
3. Listen
Lets say for instance, you see a new girl in school. She has this nice bracelet. You walk up to her and you say: Hey, that’s a nice bracelet you got there, whats the story behind it.
Remember, say it with conviction, OWN what you say.
She will tell you the story. Maybe her boyfriend got it for her. Or she bought it one time when she was in Italy during christmas.
Now you got two topics to talk about. Italy and Christmas in Italy.
You can ask her where she went in Italy and what she liked about the city in which she stayed.
It’s about the skill you are developing, not the outcome.
I love this line…..
“It is hilarious what we do at 1:00 am. It’s almost like we’re one of Pavlov’s dogs.”
I like the latter option better, I can’t never lower my standards like I have in the past.
Mario,
The key is to use all 3 at the same time. The incredibly attractive ones are the ones who hear the same crap all the time. F pretty much hit the nail on the head. It isn’t THAT hard to stand out if you know what you’re doing. You just have to know what you’re doing. Now you do!
Mario: what do you think about when you see a hot chick? I can see that its easy to get intimated by them.
F
very well said man its not about the outcome its about the skill developing! Its all very simple if we just take the time to apply it.
F
Do you have any favorite product by David?
Jacob: its seems simple but its sad that how often we don’t really practice. I guess we all want that instant gratification instead of putting int he effort.
Those were good old days. I wish I read this blog in my twenties. Where were you then David? But to the younger guys my advice is to live life, and do your best with what you have not what you don’t have.
Mario-
You will have to change your mindset. Feel the fears and do it anyways.
Always something very refreshing to read. Keep up the great work David!
It will probably help if you don’t think about trying to get them to date you. Make it your mission to just find out as much as you can about 1 new hot girl a day for a week. Don’t worry about getting phone numbers, facebooks, myspaces, bebos, emails, twitters, or pager numbers from them all week. Just balls up and start talking to one a day. You can do it!
Don juan
Its very interesting how we want the instant result without putting in any effort.
Tracy–love hearing from other women! What was your favorite part of the blog today?
Coach Jacob,
The program I am focused on buying right now, is the men mastery program. Saving money bit by bit, but slowly getting there
.
You mentioned something very important about mindset.
Indeed feel the fear, and do it anyway.
But I have a question: What if your mindset gets a hold of you.
Let’s say you see a girl or woman you want to meet. Your a little nervous, but before you know it, you’re in that nervous mindset and can’t get out.
I had something like that happen to me.
During Christmas holidays I went to this beach party on a Sunday. I made an arrangement with a girl I know, a couple of days prior to Sunday. She said she would let me know. I heard nothing from her, I got there to the party, and stood behind someone, not knowing I was standing behind her. I recognized her by her hair colour. I can tell you, I got this immense feeling in my chest that spread through my body and paralized me right then and there. I immediately bailed out. Had she seen me, I would be talking and acting all uneasy and nervous with her.
As I walked away, she turned around. I am not sure if she saw my face, but her facial expression seemed troubled and unhappy. That was not the first time I have seen that face expression.
I regained my composure thereafter and started talking and having fun with other people.
Mario,
Here’s the link to the video of David:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSEmEJjWndI
Oh yeah, and if she does not respond. BIG DEAL, there are other women.
There is no such thing as rejection, only the way people react to one another. It took me some time to internalize that in my head. A good friend of mine told me this.
And when you approach her, remember you will approach her based on what you are thinking.
If you approach her with the mindset of her rejecting you, that is one sure way to get rejected. It makes you play it “safe”.
What works for me nowadays is this:
Im at the gym/wholefoods/etc, I see this cute girl. I think: Maybe she doesn’t like me talking to her/ I’m interupting her, blah blah.
I think: Whoa, is THAT really based on reality itself? —> NO!!
So I change my thought to:
She is dying to meet me. In fact, while she was playing with herself in the shower earlier today, she was thinking about me. She is such a naughty girl…
Again, is this based on reality itself? Nope, but it sure is a better mindset.
Thanks David, that mindset really helps…
Coach Kimberly:
Thank you for your reply! My favorite part or what I understood, is that we should never lower our standards. I have dated few guys in the past who turned out to be a jerk. It was my desperate energy that attracted them. But now I’m more enlightened and the jerks have no room in my life. SO now I expect more, accept less.
F
That immense feeling in the chest is very paralyzing. What I like is that you re-gained your composure and started to have fun. I think its very important to let go of the past and just live in the moment and have fun.
F
One more thing I love your enthusiasm on the blog!!!
F,
I think you describe not only how the fear paralyzes us sometimes… but how we really need to learn to let go of ego to really stay in the moment and have fun.
That’s personally what I think about. If I feel something paralyzing me… I try to change the perspectiv from which I perceive things from.
Most of the time, it’s my pride… or fears getting the best of me.
So I try to remember to have fun and most importantly smile. I found that by smiling (even forcing a smile for a few mins), I can’t stay in that depressed, paralyzed mood…. and I start having fun.
I think you’ll really enjoy the Mastery Series. I’ve never had any one but praise that program.
Another way to look at it is, there is a wide variety of girls I am attracted to or find attractive in what ever way. Then go up and talk to ALL of them or at least make your best attempt to communicate with them. Find out what you like, then approach the kinds of girls that you like. Just say hey, what’s up. Or ask them about Whole Foods veggie section or something. Get girls’ numbers or email addresses. Or maybe tell one cute chick about some event you heard about on Facebook that you are thinking about going to.
Man,
I just got back from the gym two hours ago. As I was working out I was working on my social skills. It felt great. Talking to both men and women, getting to know a little about them. There is this one woman who I finally approached after like the 3rd time I saw her at the gym. I walked over and asked if she was Brazilian. Turns out she is Canadian, but she told me allot of people ask her if she is Brazilian. She asked me where I was from. I said I am half Dutch/ Half Carribean. She told me her mother is from the Carribean as well.
She then exused herself and went on, and so did I with my fitness program.
I really feel a shift taking place in me, the more and more I do this.
Another great article, thanks David. How about a
companion app, the Icreepy. This app alerts your phone
earlier during the night randomly. It says, “Stop
staring at her. She knows it, and it creeps her out.
Make a move right now. And I mean right now.” There are
two prompt buttons, a mission accomplished one and a
snooze one, depending on what is done. The mission
accomplished rewards you with a medal of bravery, and
the snooze reminds later that you are still hovering.
When you haven’t acheived any approaches then your lower
your standards app kicks in for the drunk girl. We can
go 50 50 on this, David. What an awesome idea.
I have to disagree on one point though. I don’t think
it’s a lowering of standards. If a guy doesn’t man up
and overcome his fear of approach, then maybe he doesn’t
deserve her. I know that society is pretty tough on
people, telling us we need looks, money, power for
permission have a hot girl. Advertising is always
telling us that we are inadequate to get us to purchase
their products. They say, buy our clothes, cars, and
stuff, and you can get the girl. It’s not the things or
stuff that makes us attractive though, it’s our
attributes that allow to acquire the stuff. Confidence,
intelligence, resourcefulness, perserverance, courage to
take risks. When a guy is nervous meeting a girl, and
does it anyway, that says something about him.
A person can logically think that they have a standard,
the hot girl for example, but emotionally they feel that
they don’t deserve her, even if they actually do. The
drunk girl is like the impulse buy on time limited offer
on an infomercial. If you look a normal distribution
curve, everyone is bunched up in the middle. A guy that
steps up and in spite of feeling scared, starts applying
the stuff David teaches, can be ahead of the curve. Even
if you aren’t exceptionally good looking or rich, you
can a least be brave and confident.
Tracy–
Thanks for sharing that. It’s so true that your often attract what you put out for sure. It sounds as if you are in a good place so you will attract the right man in your life. The main thing is to focus on YOU and the rest will fall in place!
everyone keeps telling me “john,, you need to LOWER YOUR STANDARDS”. ,, Now I’m confused. :-/