The One Skill You Must Have
August 7, 2010 
17 Comments
I met with Coach Jacob on the phone the other day. Jacob is one of my lead coaches and an unbelievable Bootcamp instructor.
He’s a little version of me . . . literally. I’m 6’2″ and he’s 5’7″. He’s almost like my adopted son. He’s an amazing, loving and honest person, but like any child he can also drive me crazy.
One way that Jacob drives me crazy is that he doesn’t understand what following up is. Follow-up is the key to life.
Now Jacob knows how to follow up with women, but sometimes when I give him work tasks he will follow up on his own schedule. He’s fine with me writing this blog, by the way, because he’s always contributing – in the blog, being there for all you guys, and he is always about self-growth. He will always admit both his strong points and his weak points.
Follow-up is the key to anybody being very successful in life. This is not just about dating either.
Granted, if you get a phone number from a woman you need to follow up with her. If you’re the least bit interested, you should follow up right away. I always say that you should give someone a call within 24 hours.
Call them (or call them back) and rephrase something you talked about with them that interested you. That way the conversation feels like a never-ending conversation. Things will flow really easily.
A lot of guys will get a phone number and they’ll wait two weeks to call that woman. Then when they do call, the woman will wonder why it took him so long to call. Even if you say that you were traveling or give some other reason, the woman will no longer be interested.
By not calling for two weeks, you just look like another ass. You look like a guy who is playing games and didn’t make her a priority.
Every woman wants to feel like a priority. I don’t care if it’s the first time you go out with her or the hundredth time you go out with her, every woman wants to feel special.
Follow-up is the key in dating and in every other part of life. If you are in sales and you get a sales lead on which you don’t follow up right away, you are never going to make that sale.
Someone calls you at your office and it takes you four days to follow up with them. In this day and age, there are so many different ways to communicate – you have emails, texts, and cell phones. So you don’t even have to be home or at your office to send someone a message.
If you can’t call someone right away, how hard is it to just send somebody a quick email saying “I’m busy for the next day or two, but I really look forward to speaking with you after that. Have a great few days!”
It’s all about following up. All successful people understand that follow-up is one of the things that made them successful.
You want to be successful at dating? Â You better learn how to follow up. Â If you want to be successful in business, you better really learn how to follow up.
So many people put things off. Those are the people who wake up every New Year’s Day wondering why they aren’t making enough money or aren’t successful in their dating life. They are the ones who write down the same New Year’s resolutions year after year.
If you really want to succeed with life — with women, in business, or in anything else — you need to learn to follow up. If you’re poor at following up, put a “to do” list together every single day. As you do each thing on the list, cross it out.
At the end of the day, look at your “to do” list and transfer all the items that aren’t scratched out on a new piece of paper as your next day’s “to do” list. Every time that you think of something you need to do, write it down right away so you don’t forget.
Say you’re busy doing three or four things and all of a sudden you remember that you need to call Joe. Since you are in the middle of another task, just write down “Call Joe” on your list and that way you will remember to do it after you’re finished.
Another reason to make this list for yourself each day, is that writing everything down gives you a way to prioritize. You can put older tasks on the top and newer ones on the bottom, or maybe you put the most important things on the top of the list. The important thing is that you re-look at your “to do” list every single day.
When I was dating a lot, I would write down every woman that I met. I would write down what they were about, who they were and when I called them (or was going to call them).
I would write all that down automatically — “Met Jane at Whole Foods. Call her Tuesday.” Then I would write things I learned about them like, “Called Jane and met her yesterday. She was cool, liked ….”
I would do this because I know in life we get really busy, and then all of a sudden you’ve forgotten to call a great woman because time got away from you. If you do call her after three or four days have gone by, she’s going to look at it as you being rude.
So get a yellow pad, start writing things down and get that “to do” list together! Review your “to do” list several times a day, and make sure you remain focused and on track.
All of you can thank Coach Jacob for this great blog. I wrote it, but he made me feel it.
Click here to listen to me talk all about my personal tricks to how to become successful in every part of your life — and how to create a roadmap on how to get there.
This is kind of like visualization without movement.
Wanting to get a promotion, but doing nothing to get there..
Nice one.
thanks jacob and david for the blog.i bet this blog just made someones life better
but dont yu think daivd that i have to wait one or two days to call ? to be a challenge for a women ? i thought that to differentiate my self from other guys i have to be a challenge for her like …
1-am not always availble to hangout
2-it’s hard to tell if i likes her or not
3-i doesnt always return her call when i say i will
please tell me if that is right or what ?
This blog today totally relates to me. It seems like it’s directly right at me. My biggest weakness in dating, my personal life and business is following up with people. In fact, this is one of the things I’m going to talk about with Jacob in the one to one phone coaching in two days. Lol!
Hei thanks for this great blog. 3 days ago i got a number from a woman and i haven’t called her yet. I really need to to do that, and now i know why.
enjoy the day ;D.
this is a conversation i had with a stunning girl after seein a picture of her reading the game , id just added her randomly on facebook, the question is did i ask her for her number 2 soon, and feedback on the conversation would be helpful
me
i better not neg you cos iv seen uv been reading the book, all my secret pua tactics wont work on u…… how do u knw the 3 wise men…. (friends in common)……and what did u think to the the game……..
her
hahah yeh no neg will work on me now i know ‘The game!!’ …..im even ashamed to think i fell for some of the tricks!!! NEVER AGAIN! hahah. loved the book, i feel the need to write a female version but it would read…….Chapter 1…offer sex……..Chapter 2……done!
I know the 3 wise men through grant really, we had a little thing once and then became good mates with the others.
And yourself???
XXXX
after seein she was on facebook chat and didnt need 2 message her back 2 her inbox
Me
o im messaging u back and ur on here
ha i dont think that many lads in england knw what that books all about, i think its more popular in the states, certainly breaks down the whole dating thing vhttp://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-one-skill-you-must-have/4167/ery wel tho, how u stumble across the book ….was ur dating life sucking???lol! ….
was writing as i saw u butcher!!
3:56pmLisa
hahahah a lad told me about it and was too intrigued!!! was laughing my head off!!! I need to come up with some PUA comebacks to keep them on their toes!!
3:57pmMe
u sound like a real player,……!!!!
the female version of the 3 wise men ay….?
3:57pmLisa
oh i am ask the 3 wise men! ha
3:58pmMe
jst got wi jacko tho?
3:59pmLisa
hahah yes just been with mr jackson! im far from a player really just wise to the dating game!!! i reckon mr best is ‘ironically’ the best at it..but then he has had more years experience!
4:00pmMe
yes hes gud at chatting 2 women, grants prob best tho jst cos of his luks , bt yes best is certainly goyt gift of gab……
4:01pmLisa
yeh grant gets the women because of his looks, with the help of shaun and shauns money! ha and wayne, his job helps and he’s cheeky…..put them together and you have the perfect PUA!!
I remember when shaun met one of my friends and they were talking about pets and she said i like cats more and shaun said ‘id love to see your pussy sometime!!’ totally threw her!!! was fab
4:02pmMe
anyway …..are you good at getting the guy u want……and can u keep mr right,,,,,?……and thts a great line lmao!!!
4:04pmLisa
good line like it…..have you actually used this line?
4:05pmMe
yes im asking u u dork…….stop thinking im hitting on u…………. I DONT DATE BLONDES….`QUOTE`
:-)
4:06pmLisa
are you negging me now!!! ha! i dont get every guy i want and ive never found mr right to know if i coudl keep him but id have a dam good go!!!
PS: Im not a natural blonde!
4:08pmMe
thts bizare even tho u knew i was jokingly using a neg on u….u still tryed 2 qualify urself 2 me by saying ur not a natural blonde,….i never thought a neg would do what its ment 2 do wen the girl knws wat im doing….bizare!!!
4:10pmLisa
its was more to clarify the assumption that blondes are stupid, which would be wrong to think of me ‘tryed’ is actually spelt ‘tried’!! ha
and ‘ment’ is spelt ‘meant’
4:10pmMe
i i dnt give a shit is spelt like that…..
;-)
4:11pmLisa
well thats where you would be wrong because ‘i dont give a shit’ is actually spelt ‘i dont give a shit’ …not ‘like that’!! oh dear!
4:14pmMe
u can win this petty war, and its ok uv qualifyed urself enough 2 me now i can see u passed ur english gcse ……bt what other 3 qualitys have you got tht seperate u from other attractive girls, cos getting an A* in english hasnt won mr right over yet….
:-)
4:15pmLisa
are you classing yourself as Mr Right!!
4:15pmMe
can hear the wheels in ur head working for comebacks….
:-)
….and yes mr right of course …
:-)
4:15pmLisa
hahahahahaha i know…im still jet lagged give me chance !!! hahahah
im still work in progress on the banter front as mr best said!!! im getting there!
hmmm qualities….do i answer serious or try to be cocky!!! hmmmmm
4:17pmMe
no serious ….il be honest im trying 2 have a real conversation with you…
:-)
4:19pmLisa
Ok i dont know if these separate me from other attractive girls but i would say……..im not stuck up, Im caring and other people come first
…..this is like a lonely hearts application
and your answer would be?
4:21pmMe
did u not read tht line in the game, iv jst got u trying 2 qualify urself 2 me again……ur a real beginner at this game thing arnt u ….hahaha
4:22pmLisa
bloody hell!!! im going to have to read this book again!!! clearly you have it next to your bed as a nightly read!
4:23pmLisa
are you now going back to the book to reference a comeback!!!!
hahahahahahah
4:23pmMe
no respect…..tht was a great comeback…..
4:24pmLisa
hahah now your using the word ‘respect’ as he did in the book also to the comment of ‘ i give good blow jobs’! ha
4:27pmMe
do you give gud blow jobs, my first girl i ever shaged was the only girl ever 2 deep throat me, she jst updated her status…..too much to think about…..my little head cant tke all of this….i commented if my memory servers me correct ur head used 2 take an awful lot lol….
4:28pmLisa
your being very generous to yourself!!!
does she have a small head?
4:29pmMe
i dont knw gemma soraine shes called is it a small head…..?
4:30pmLisa
as heads go….average!
4:31pmMe
she deleated the comment off her status lol
4:32pmLisa
I bet she has!!!
4:33pmMe
weres ur dad from, he luks like some crazy italian cheaf dnt knw how 2 spell it sure ul correct me…?
4:34pmLisa
‘chief’ oh dear!!! its habit! He is english although he does look foreign and everyone also thought he was my sugar daddy all week!!!
4:35pmMe
wel u luk like abit of a gold digger…..???do u go after guys wi money?
4:35pmLisa
if i answer is that classed as qualifying myself to you? ha
4:37pmLisa
do you think i would be the type of gilr that does?
4:37pmMe
ha ur learning…… u trying 2 think one level above me now bt i dnt think u can….
hmmm il be honest u seem very open and sweet so probley not bt im not saying u dont either cos dont knw u!
4:38pmLisa
interesting!!
4:38pmMe
yes many girls say tht about me…..
;-)
4:39pmLisa
are you qualifying yourself??? hahaha
4:41pmMe
i would only do tht if i thought the girl felt her status was much lower then mine…… so …..mayb …:-):-)
4:42pmLisa
good comeback!! that one isnt in the book!!!! this is going to be harder than i thought!!! ha
4:44pmMe
listen its fun talkin 2 u got 2 go now, send me ur number and il txt u later, wud be cool 2 meet for coffee when youve slept off ur jet lag, …..cos if we meet b4 tht u might luk bit rough lol……
4:46pmLisa
ahhhh….. seal the deal with a number!!!! no chance…im off for a run, so ave to dash myself…….if you want my number you will get it…….. If not nice chatting too, good banter.xxx
Me
speak later, not sure what u mean with regards 2 ur number, u might speak more sense when ur feeling fresher, speak soon…. andrew x
4:50pmLisa
Lisa
hahah as in im not going to give my number that easy…… if you want my number you will get it from somewhere…..follow the star as the ‘three wise men’ did.xx
4:51pmMe
no lisa i would never get a number from any1 bt the girl …..even if she was the last woman on earth, rie jog on woman….
:-)
`rite`
this is a conversation i had with a stunning girl after seein a picture of her reading the game , id just added her randomly on facebook, the question is did i ask her for her number 2 soon, and feedback on the conversation would be helpful
me
i better not neg you cos iv seen uv been reading the book, all my secret pua tactics wont work on u…… how do u knw the 3 wise men…. (friends in common)……and what did u think to the the game……..
her
hahah yeh no neg will work on me now i know ‘The game!!’ …..im even ashamed to think i fell for some of the tricks!!! NEVER AGAIN! hahah. loved the book, i feel the need to write a female version but it would read…….Chapter 1…offer sex……..Chapter 2……done!
I know the 3 wise men through grant really, we had a little thing once and then became good mates with the others.
And yourself???
XXXX
This is what I need to do! I’ve been talking about dating and researching it for more that 2 years. Yet I haven’t been able to meet or attract new women. WHY?
because I don’t approach….I just talk about it. Im a talker not a doer. I need to become a doer….in order to be the person I want to be! It’s hard because every time I want to approach…I panic.
I should have a list that says everything I NEED to do in the day.
David,
Why is it that you always seem to read my mind? I agree on following up. I was at a real estate sales meeting yesterday, and they mentioned the follow-up concept. If you get a call, you better answer it or call right back, or you will lose $8,000! Just imagine what you could have done with that $8,000. Great blog today, David and Jacob.
Mario,
Try this affirmation: “Everything that comes my way, I can handle it”.
I was at a bookstore yesterday, to talk to a girl I am romantically interested in. I greeted her, she gave me a very cold “Hi” back. Now normally this kind of stuff would throw me off balance. But yesterday it did not. She was very busy working and she was a bit moody. So I don’t take it personally.
Today I met a group of friends at the beach. They also brought friends of theirs that I don’t know. A very attractive girl was amongst them, she is married, but still I felt a little anxious. I did not want to come across as boring.
I told myself this is the time to practice and that I should not worry about what I am talking about, as long as its not about negative topics, or making myself look like a clown all the time.
I feel much more confident today. Time for me to keep this up.
but dont yu think daivd that i have to wait one or two days to call ? to be a challenge for a women ? i thought that to differentiate my self from other guys i have to be a challenge for her like …
1-am not always availble to hangout
2-it’s hard to tell if i likes her or not
3-i doesnt always return her call when i say i will
please tell me if that is right or what ? … PLEASE ANSWER
hahahaa great to know that Coach Jacob is not perfect and he is just as human as all of us. I guess sometimes people tend to think that we can never reach at the level that the coaches are on. But I think if Jacob can do it so can all of us. Thanks for the well written message David. And Jacob thanks for being open about this, it really helps!!!
Thanks coach J for sharing your weakness. I liked what Clint said about you and I find that to be so true.
Oh my i don’t how i missed this blog:)
now i can say something back to CJ.
hey CJ I love you for all the work and support you have given us!
No one does it better than Coach Jacob in the field that’s for sure! Another great blog by David and Jacob or should I say father and son:)
Very funny Rick:)
Thank you all for the comments and I’m glad you enjoyed the blog. And yes you will hear it from Jacob, even he makes mistakes:)
Coach Jacob will you ever be in the pua summit? Would love to see you speak.