The New Dating Diet
August 9, 2010 
8 Comments
You guys have been asking me to come out with a diet and exercise plan. So I wanted to tell you all about what I call “The Dating Diet.” More about that in just a minute.
I’ve been working out my entire adult life, and I want to share a funny — but true — story with you about how I started working out. It’s going to sound goofy to a lot of you.
There was actually one movie that pushed me to want to start working out. It wasn’t Rocky. It wasn’t Dirty Dancing.
It was the movie Flashdance. Yes, I actually went to see the movie Flashdance when it came out.
I watched all the dancing scenes, noticed the way the bodies were totally toned and ripped, and it motivated me in a very bizarre way. Maybe it was all the booze I drank in college, but I remember arriving home after seeing that movie and suddenly started to pound the weights.
I haven’t stopped since. Give or take about five pounds, I’ve basically been the same weight my entire adult life.
I consistently work out. I do cardio four days a week. I lift weights three days a week.
I used to do yoga before I blew out my back. I have now found that being tighter actually keeps me together better.
A lot of people have trouble starting to work out. You gain five or ten (or twenty or thirty) pounds, and you look at yourself in the mirror not liking the way you look.
What a lot of people do in that situation is to head straight for the microwave and eat even more. Others will sit on the couch and say, “I’m going to start exercising next week.”
Here is the truth. If you don’t like the way you look and if you can’t embrace your own body, then nobody you date will either. That is why I call this “The Dating Diet,” because it is all about you feeling great about yourself and your body when you’re dating.
There’s nothing that turned me off more when I was dating, than when a woman insisted on making the room completely dark the first time she got naked with me. I would be looking forward to seeing her naked body, and all she wanted to do was leave the room completely dark because she felt insecure about her body.
How you feel about yourself is so important. So if you feel you’ve been slacking, you need to push yourself.
Start going to the gym, and do just 20 minutes of cardio in the beginning. Then the next week, move up to 25 minutes of cardio, and increase to 30 minutes of cardio the week after that.
Just get started. Whatever you choose to do, start slow and build up.
If you’re not feeling great about yourself and feel uncomfortable at the gym at first, then pick a time to go when there are fewer people there until you feel more comfortable.
Write down all of your excuses. “It’s too cold right now to go to the gym.” “I’m too comfortable on this sofa, and don’t want to miss my favorite shows.” “I didn’t get up early enough today.”
Write down your excuses, and realize that all of them are just that — excuses. You must be dedicated.
Now I’m going to ask you to do something that will really be a challenge for a lot of you, but I want to push you a little bit. Stop reading this blog, go to the bathroom, get undressed and look at yourself from all angles in the bathroom mirror.
What do you like about your body? What do you dislike about your body? What you change about your body? What do you need to accept about your body?
If there are parts of your body you don’t like that you can change through diet and exercise, it’s time to commit to work toward getting those body parts to look how you will love them. If there are other parts of your body that you don’t like that weights and cardio won’t change, then it’s really important to embrace and love who you are.
Thank you for this post David. Unfortunately, it will fly over the heads of most people. I find that people are mostly motivated to take steps like this when they hit rock bottom: doctor tells them to do it or die, they get super-depressed, etc. Losting weight and getting in shape helps in so many ways, even if you don’t notice a change in the first month. Just do it. I got serious about this two years ago and have managed to lose weight and keep it off. I don’t workout as much as I’d like to, but like David said, it’s a start.
I really recommend a work out buddy. Some people have the motivation to work out all by themselves, but I need someone constantly pushing me. My roommate is trying to lose weight, and I’m trying to gain weight, but we can push each other to work harder, not to slack off, and to fight to meet our goals. Considering the state of my rotator cuffs (thank you high school football and college rugby), I doubt I’ll be benching 200 again by the end of the year, but who’s to say I won’t be able to do 135 20 times?
This kind of relates to the previous blog “The one skill you must have”. Follow up on what you said you would do.
Flashdance is also one my favorite movies…. & movie soundtracks
‘Take your passion and make it happen!’
Fitness has always been a strength of mine. Having run competitively during high school and into my early twenties, I am well aware of how one can push their body and reap great dividends. I can comfortably say that working out doesn’t challenge me like it used to because I’ve proven to myself what I am capable of.
Career and business on the other hand, does challenge me significantly, and I have far to go in this area!
My goals are to just enjoy myself and perhaps gain a little upper body muscle in my chest/biceps. I am a light guy at 5’10 and around 160lbs and am quite comfortable at this weight.
I notice that many guys (especially in their twenties) are on these powder shakes and crazy diets… They all want to get ‘ripped’ I’m all about setting a goal and reaching it, and to each their own… But it does make me wonder… Are they are doing it for themselves? Or to maintain an image they want to live up to that isn’t really them?
As soon as I get ripped like that guy in Twilight, I’ll go and meet people!
(just kiddind Dave.
I know that was one of your past pet peeves)
Hey David, I saw the movie when it first came out too. And, like you, I have worked out my entire adult life, and can wear the same clothes I wore in high school. It’s a nice feeling, isn’t it? I think it is more of a personality characteristic, that comes from persistance and dedication, to keep yourself in shape. Same characteristic that makes some people successful in life, and others fail, and give up.
David, I started exercising and eating right in mid March. I’ve now lost 20 lbs and added several lbs of muscle since the last time you’ve seen me. I feel great and look a whole lot better. The other night I was wearing a tank top and my friend Jenny said “Your body looks phenomenal”. That put me on cloud 9! Not only that, I’m 49 years old and have been taking medication for high BP for over 4 years. Now, I don’t need it any more, my BP is normal. Diet and exercise, who’d a thought? I use the 1 ingredient diet, if it has more than 1 ingredient, I probably won’t eat it. Just whole foods, grains and protein shakes. Thanks buddy! You’ve been an inspiration.
I’m not a fan of gym but I do play team sports like football (soccer in the US), volleyball and basketball. They’re excelent cardio and you get to know more people.
As to the insecurity and turn off you mentioned, I’m dating a guy who is chubby and has trouble taking off his shirt before having sex, even with lights off. It’s until after some teasing and kissing that I finally manage to take it off him.