You know, this is an interesting blog I’ve always wanted to do. A lot of guys always wonder when the right times are in a relationship to give a woman flowers. They want to know about the right occasions to send flowers to a woman.
This blog, however, is not about when to send a woman flowers. It’s about knowing the type of flower to send women when you do send them, because every flower represents a certain emotion they’re feeling.
It’s interesting. I just recently was asking a woman which kind of flower is her favorite and why. She responded saying that the white orchid is her favorite because it makes her feel alive, passionate, open and sensual.
What you need to understand is that flowers are a representation. I love white orchids. It’s a very sensual and open flower.
Flowers are an amazing thing to send somebody, but the only flower most people can think to send anyone is roses. Roses mean nothing.
So when you’re dating somebody, ask them what kind of flower is their favorite, why, and how that flower makes them feel. If you know this and can get someone a flower to make them feel that certain way, you will be connected with them on an emotional and spiritual level.
They are going to look at that orchid and they’re going to start to feel open, sensual and loving. If you just send them the standard roses or daises, it will mean nothing and will evoke no emotion in them.
So every single time you want to surprise someone – regardless of whether that person is a man or a woman – surprise them with something they like. Find out something personal about them and get them something that very unique, because each gift and emotion that’s shared between the two of you is going to be a story you’ll be able to talk about together for a long time.
Remember, you’re building memories when you first start dating . . . memories that can last for years and years and years. So don’t just go for the standard. Don’t get your guy a six pack and the remote control. Don’t get your girlfriend a dozen roses and a box of candy.
Find out something about that person, and go out there and send them something that’s unique to them. That shows them that you pay attention. It also shows that you want to get to know them in a intimate level.
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Love Love when I get personal gifts with a lot of thoughts. I have been know to have boxes of stuff for friends and family as I always buy if I find something that would suit them. Problem is I get so excited I rarely can wait for the right occasion so I end up sending it right away.
Personally I am a sucker for the Cala lilies as the are both strong, simpel but still enough feminie. But I really am not a big cut flower person, hate to watch them wither away.
The Lilac holds maybe the strongest emotions in me as they were my grandmothers favorite. When I lived in Copenhagen I sometimes would cut them from the public parks when they were in bloom. Just the fragrance throws me right back in her arms.
But really any gift would be great if the person has a reason why it reminds them of me. It could be a thing as simple as photo of something someone mailed to my phone that reminded them of me.
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Got caught up in physical gifts.
The greatest gift i can receive is personal story, a peak into anothers persons soul, that gives me a clearer idea about what makes the person tick/feel certain ways.
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thats because orchids look like vaginas
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I’m a carnation kind of girl but I appreciate anyone’s efforts to express their thoughts or feelings in whatever way that they feel comfortable. My cousin brings me coffee from his favorite neighborhood espresso stand if he comes over earlier than usual and he always insists on doing any of my heavy lifting tasks. My friends know that I sew and they give me the “legs” when they make their old jeans into cut-offs so that I can repair others’ jeans or add pieces to my denim quilt. It’s just the simplest of things but always appreciated.
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I dated a man once who was the perfect gift giver. I didn’t expect the gifts he gave me but he listened to what I said and what I thought was special. After our relationship blossomed and the ILY’s started flowing he really stepped up to the plate. For Christmas he gave me the perfume I loved, something he loved on me, an outfit that was the right size. That following Valentines he gave me small gifts leading up to Valentines Day. Simple things that were special, a mood ring because it had a special meaning from a previous date we had, a bracelet with hearts that had special love sayings “work is love made visible” (yes, I still have it) a rose, and others I can’t remember but I do remember how special they were. He later ask me to marry him and proposed with one of those huge, like 4″, fake diamonds that you see in the windows at jewerly shops. He said “baby i bought the biggest diamond I could find” it was funny and then he gave me the real one. OooO I’m reminiscing too much. Anyway my point is Dave is right. Know what she likes there won’t be a need to tell her that you’d like to purchase something for her just listen to her and ask questions. I’ve dated a lot and really most men just don’t “get” it. So you’ll really stand out in a crowd if your nice to her.
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Speaking of gifts does Dr. Bob have any to give but speak for the whole community when he said like we care about you meaning me…So that means Dr. Bob speaks for the whole community when he says that so that means what I have to say does not really matter since Dr. Bob spoke it all in the last blog…
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I guess we included David….
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David, this is an excellent, timely post. I’ve always been terrible with buying gifts, particularly flowers – it just made me uncomfortable for some reason. I even once broke up with a great girl I had just started dating because I couldn’t work out what to buy her for Christmas. Apart from the fact that she was a great girl, it cursed me somewhat, as I then went through a 3 year barren patch. That was a long time ago, but I wouldn’t put it past me not to mess up in this area again, so I’ll certainly take your advice.
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Peter
Here i thought dating anxiety was bad, never thought gift anxiety would be so bad (-:
But in honesty, as much as i love to find special things there is nothing as frustrating when you really want to find something great and you have no ideas. Almost like a blockage.
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K
What a neat idea you ‘friendsdenim’ quilt. I dont sow but i know my mom would have loved a quilt of my kids clothes.
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Marina, that’s exactly what it was – ‘gift anxiety’.
I think most women I’ve dated have accepted that buying gifts isn’t my strongest point, but no reason why I couldn’t improve. 
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Aw heck, when a man buys me any flowers I am happy. Be it orchids, daisies, roses, whatever. Just don’t send me white roses as that is the flower of friendship.
Sure it is exceptional to ask, and then send, the woman of your dreams the flowers she personal likes, but for me its thrilling to get flowers of any kind. That is a sign of a possible serious partner. And I like it!
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Ahh! K! How awesome that you too love carnations! My granny and I grew carnations years ago when we lived in southern California…I love the lavender wild irises that grow out in my yard…Roses are pretty but they either have no scent or too much scent…I also just adore a hibiscus! I think I need to go live somewhere tropical…
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Bertie
Where i live Hibiscus growns like trees you would indeed like it in the tropics..:-)
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Hey, Peter – I understand your frustration with gift-buying: the older that I get, the harder it seems yet I am always the person to ask when someone else needs gift-giving ideas – go figure. On the other hand, now you know what kind of questions to ask and so do I. I think that we’re just psyching ourselves out needlessly. Women appreciate attempts a great deal, even if they aren’t perfect. How about men? Any gal ever give you something way off base for who you are?
Bertie – the carnation thing is from childhood with my grandmother who grew them out of the worst dirt and rocks that you even saw. She also did old-style flower arranging so I sometimes buy gladiolas and giant irises for just that purpose. People are always surprised that I even have a clue about that sort of thing. It’s a nice way to appreciate the beauty of flowers without the scent…I have met many people in my adult life who are allergic to things with a high pollen count like lilies which otherwise would never have occurred to me.
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Peter
Next time just make sure you date a girl who loves a great sarcastic comment
There just might, ever so slightly be a chance you will not run into gift anxiety (-:
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Azaleas are like that here Marina…they grow like weeds…They are very beautiful. I miss having carnations and camellias.
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Marina, that can be a little hard here in Czech Republic sometimes, as sarcastic humour doesn’t always translate so well, at least not in the written form. But yes, the ladies I’ve got on with the most have all been ones who appreciate a little bit of sarcasm.
K, yes – not getting the right presents has always been a fear rather than any biological defect towards good present buying.
Asking the right questions in advance makes a lot of sense – should have thought about that before!
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I really like the idea of emotional gift which bonds with people better than rather than getting something really expensive or somethign
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I really like the idea of emotional gift which bonds with people better than rather than getting something really expensive or something quickly without any thoughts put into it.
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HEY- don’t knock roses…. many women including me LOVE fresh smelling beautiful roses!!!!!
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I love giving gifts that are meaningful. Usually, I look for gifts that not only will surprise the woman pleasantly… but a gift that she’ll find meaning and value from it, a gift that will really enhance or create the memory of being with me.
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Hey Kheim I have a song from Def Leppard when to hear it:
Pour Some Sugar On Me
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This is a tangent point I’m making, sorry if its a bit off-topic. Sometimes guys think that giving a gift will show his love to a woman, even one that does not feel the same way–this is a no no! The girl will only see it as kindliness and friendship, nothing more.
“When you’re in love, everything you do is love.” If the other person is not in love with you, it is not love they see.
So keep in mind who you’re giving to and how they feel about you.
Just had to write that after seeing the extent my guy friend went for my lady friend’s birthday. Although it was such a great gift, it filled the room full of friends with awkwardness because we knew what his intentions were…And she will only see it as how great of a friend he is, while I ponder what his girlfriend would think of it.
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Great post. David is right on the flowers, my girl hates roses, because the idea of a gift of roses has become cliche. My favorite flower is the passionflower and once I found out that my girl’s favorite color was purple, I knew that she would love it. Now it is her favorite flower as well.
Personalized gifts can be fun for anyone with a little creativity and fortitude. I recently made a dreamcatcher for my girl, starting with no experience at all, just the idea. But with some YouTube magic and dedication, I managed to make it happen. I took as many elements that were unique to her interests as I could and incorporated them into the dreamcatcher. An astrology dial, buddha, Ghandi qutoe, purple leather, hemp
, and a key with a heart. Don’t know if the image will post but here it is:
http://img4.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc00602cvk.jpg
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Duke
Awesome personal idea. Thanks for sharing
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I love this article. I’m not really a flower person, but do prefer carnations. They smell wonderful & are fairly inexpensive & last a long time. I prefer plants, but that’s me. I’m not very materialistic, so gift-giving is pretty easy. I asked for wierd things like a heat-gun for my candle making business, a color wheel, or a gift certificate to my favorite supplier.
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Hi all. Sorry I can only use my initials. This forum appears in google, and I want this to be a surprise. Anyhooo.. I’m planning a date (duh). I just want some opinions on what my twisty little mind has come up with. I’m going to give her 5 roses and a teddy bear. (Teddy bear representing me) and the following single roses, with a card with the meaning of each. In this exact order…
Yellow with Red Tip Friendship
Yellow Promise of a new beginning
Peach Sincerity
White “I am worthy of you”
Pink “Please Believe Me”
and then the teddy bear.
Maybe a bit excessive, but the whole idea is to say “I am trying very hard to impress you and you are worth the extra effort”
But I would like a few opinions or ideas.
Thanks
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GFB, is this a first date?
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Of course. Although I do know enough about the girl that I chose the color and order carefully. She’s a bit gun shy because of ‘players’ in the past. She’s been looking for ‘prince charming’ but only found toads. The effect I’m hoping for is “WOW…Hmmm maybe…..”
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GFB,
Don’t you think that’s plain too much for a first date? it’s gonna come across as buying her affections.. in addition to her feeling a lot of pressure to live up to some expectation you’ve placed on her. I know a lot of guys who’ve done things like that, much to their detriment and ultimate demise.
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Good point about the ‘pressure’. Don’t need any more of that. I should drop the teddy bear?
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I would drop all of it… you can buy her the roses spontaneously while on the date… it’s better to make her feel like it’s a kind spontaneous gesture… than a “I’m trying really hard to impress you”
Even though it’s flattering…. most women don’t want you to impress them because it creates an unrealistic expectation of who they are.
They want you to do nice things to them… when it feels right (meaning timing… and reason). You don’t do extra nice things to complete strangers, do you?
If she doesn’t already feel deeply connected to you for some reason…. doing too nice of a gesture will come across as “trying too hard”.
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GFB,
It should be about how you interact with her, then if it evolves from here then you start the presents. When you give presents they make sure they are personal to her and not “generic Hallmark” type of presents. Thats what really impresses a girl.
You said she had had some bad experiences before, make sure you go slow on her. Most likely she will be very suspicious about you. Just relax and give her a good time.
Good Luck
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Good advice Khiem. I’ll try that.
Excellent point as well Marina. And right on the money, she was mistreated and is suspicious. I’m not into the hallmark scene. Any gift I do give is personal, like the roses for example. I had good reason for the color and order. But that can wait until a better time.
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Late to the game here. So what does it mean when someone sends a fruit bouquet? I’ve been trying to find anything on it on the web. Lame? Yes. Intentions? Just be friends? What are your thoughts?
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Amy,
It depends! What brought him to get you this bouquet? What were the circumstances?
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Old friends from college, always more romantic feelings on his side. She is finally available and he pours his feelings out. Her response is that she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings but values the friendship. That was this past weekend. On Monday he sent her a fruit bouquet. I haven’t seen it, so if watermelon means something other than cantelope, I’ll have to get more information. That’s a joke but the rest is serious.
My friend and I are both getting divorced. Neither one of us has dated for about ten years. We’re confused to say the least.
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