The Local Time Is Now
March 16, 2009 
16 Comments
I just had a great talk with a client on the phone and wanted to share some of the highlights. He also wanted to share the call with all of you!!! We had an amazing breakthrough and he wanted all of you to see it and embrace it.
A great way to start a Monday!!!!
David: Stop thinking about the future! The future is not right now.
We hear this all the time, but let me tell all of you this right now: if I could predict the future, you would not be sitting here with me right now. If I could predict the future, do you think I’d be spending this time coaching you guys?
I’d probably take my girlfriend and my dog with me and we’d go surfing on my own private little island. I heard Marlon Brando’s island is going to be up for sale eventually – maybe I’d buy that.
If I could predict the future, I would predict the winning numbers in the lottery. I would tell you the Steelers would have won the Super Bowl and I would have put all of my money on it. I would tell you which stocks would rise during Obama’s presidency. If I could predict the future, there are so many different things I would do. But I can’t!
The only thing in life that we have the power to do is to remain present. That is it. We have no other powers.
So if there is a woman that you really want to get to know and you’re thinking about how to somehow swing her in your direction, you’re not really being present. You’re just thinking about how to get her to come to you, instead of really just having a great time. If you’re having a really great time and she starts to see you that way, you’re going to create attraction.
If you’re really enjoying the company of her friends, she’ll start to see you in that way. That’s how women look at things. But instead, you’re just thinking about the future. You’re not even thinking about that day. You could all be just hanging out at a bar on a Saturday night, but you’re not really there. You’re only thinking about how you can manipulate the situation and change the future.
The fact is that the future is not now – the present is now. Stay focused and stay present to what is going on in the moment. It takes a lot of work to truly stay focused in the present.
Client: Is there something that you can do to really work on that? I feel like I can’t really control it on my own.
David: You’re doing it right now – you’re listening to me. You’re listening intently to every word that comes out of my mouth. For the last few minutes, you listened to every word I said, and then you asked a question based on what you heard. And you did it with authority and conviction in your voice. You weren’t nervous, and you did it from your heart. I could see that it came from your heart, and I could see who you are as a person.
So that’s how you do it. You just listen. If you’re outcome-derived, or you expect something from somebody, then it’s not going to happen. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment.
Don’t expect anything from anybody. If you do, you’ll set yourself up to be disappointed. Why should you be disappointed? Life is an amazing ride. Enjoy it. Enjoy the entire process.
Hi David,
to me, you sometimes sound very much like Eckhart Tolle in “THE POWER OF NOW”.
http://www.eckharttolle.com/eckharttolle
And I can totally agree with what you write in today’s blog.
The bad news is, that we cannot predict the future, and therefore there is a risk involved in everything we do.
The good news is, that we cannot predict the future, and therefore life is exciting, colorful and fascinating.
I agree with Hamburger. I think anyone who enjoys these blogs and David’s overall philosophy should at least be somewhat familiar with Eckhart Tolle’s writings as well.
The present is all we got, now is all we got…why wait to do something?…Tomorrow may never come.
David, could you talk a bit about abundance in our love lives?…Need to add some serious spark into mine!!!
Want more love & magic in my life..!
thanks for this David.
The present is a gift, that’s why they call it the present! : ) I believe in balance and harmony. Everything in nature is about reaching equilibrium. The present is our center, our core so we need to focus on that part of our lives the most. The past and the future are outside of us, and thus external. To me this is like a person holding a guitar. The past is the music notes he’s about to play, the future is the sounds that are going to be leaving the guitar, and the present is the guitar player himself. The most critical of the three is the guitar player, focus there and the past and future will be in harmony with beautiful music around!
Hey David
You are right about something if we could tell the future then our foresight would be better than our hindsight would not be as bad would it. When you get that good we will all join you in Las Vegas so we could have a blast. Living for the present is a hard thing to do but what I am dealing with right now is mental validations.
P.S.
Give me time to look in my crystal ball and I will get back to you. See you on the next blog.
I was wondering if you could ever make a podcast on dating in high school and or middle school it would be of great pleasure and help.
Carpe diem! Seize the day…I live by this. It truly does help you focus and not get overwhelmed with what “could” happen in the future. Why worry about something you don’t know? That is a great approach to dating…Why worry about what she or he will or won’t say? Why worry about if he or she will like you? Just be present..
Vinita, what did you mean by “abundance” in your love life? What is missing for you?
that’s exactly what i emphasized a lot in the dc bootcamp this past weekend, it had a such a powerful effect on the guys, and they just were high on life after that!!!
carpe diem to all of you:)
Well, with abundance i think i mean so much of it that you just can’t take it any more! Total love, total bliss,
total abundance and nothing less!… We all want that, i think. But how do we go about it and change our whole mindset to an abundant unlimited thinking…specially in our love life?
I know positive energy attracts more of it, and seem to have made some real changes in my life lately in other areas. But when it comes to finding a man…and keeping that energy up, im kind of puzzled?!..
Thanks for asking Kimberley, hope that made some sense…:)
So, seizing the moment is all well and good. I am sitting opposite the most enchanting looking lady at the moment, in the silent study area of the university library. I’m trying to think of an opener… Given that I’ve been sat opposite her for maybe an hour or so… Any thoughts? I’m quite keen to seize this carp!
The definition of abundance: Do what you need to do when you need to do it.
Joe,
I hope you figured out something to say to her. Was she alone while studying? Perhaps you could’ve asked her what she was studying and if she likes that class. Or where she’s from. Is she a local or out of state? By silent study area, does that mean you’re not allowed to talk above a whisper? Was her table very far from yours?
I remember a very similar situation several years ago. I was in the library studying for a test, but bored out of my mind! There was a pretty & tall blonde who had sat down at a table to my right about 10 feet away. She was sitting on the opposite side of her table facing my direction. A guy had been talking to her who I assumed was her bf, but he walked away. I figured he would probably be back after a few minutes, but he never did.
Anyway, after several more minutes of studying over my notes, I decided to look up and around the room just to see something other than my handwriting for a change. About that time, the blonde happened to look up and towards me and smiled. She held that smile a few seconds and looked back down at her book or notes. I smiled back and thought to myself something like “Yummmm!!” And then looked back down at my notes. A few minutes later, not sure how many minutes later, maybe 10, I looked up and around the room again. And the same thing happened. That time it was like she had already been looking at me so when I met her eyes she smiled again for a few more seconds. I was very shy and was getting even more self conscious because I didn’t know what to do or say. I smiled back again, but kinda sheepishly looked down at my notes and pretended to study while getting all freaky inside.
I would have to say something but felt the need to say something funny or witty, which I wasn’t good at. And knowing that women love guys who are funny & witty has always put so much pressure on me to be that, that I simply fold under the pressure. In addition to that, I assumed her bf was going to be back at any minute and he would wonder what I was doing if I moved over to sit at her table. Was he the jealousd type? I didn’t have her in any of my classes so I couldn’t say we were comparing notes or anything like that. And even IF that guy weren’t in the picture at all, should I go over there and ask to sit down at her table? I didn’t know. Maybe she was simply smiling out of politeness or cause she was bored silly too. Maybe, maybe maybe. Maybe this, maybe that. Shoulda, coulda, woulda! So many questions. I’m still not really sure what I should’ve done to this day under those circumstances.
The last time I saw her was about a week later while walking down a hill on campus and she & her bf and another couple were walking uphill in my direction. I looked at her and she looked back at me, but kinda nervous that time, like she felt self conscious looking at me, maybe afraid her guy would see her looking and/or smiling. I never saw her again.
vinita,
I totally get what you are saying in that is something we all strive for and want! I think what is key is not to have too high of expectations for it. Maybe you are focusing too much on that so that when it doesn’t reach your expectations it is a disappointment. Sometimes, abundance takes a while to kick in and can creep in if you allow it. Rather, I find it helpful to keep focused on the things that make me happy in a partner and what I WANT, not on how it “should” be. Does that make sense? Thanks for your response…keep on writing!!!
Coach Kimberly;
Would you mind reading my post directly above your last one and tell me what you think I should’ve done in that situation? It would probably help Joe too since his situation was about the same. I saw her looking up at me a few more times that day, maybe 5-6 in all, but didn’t know what to do or say at that time.
Bumping for Coach Kimberly, David or Kheim. See message above.