I’m sitting here right now deleting 219 unopened emails from my Facebook page. As I’m sitting here doing that, the IM box keeps popping up with all sorts of “friends” (whom I don’t really know) wanting to chat with me.
“Hey David! Are you there?”
“Hey David, Can I ask you a question?”
“Hey David – I have a situation with a woman right now … ”
Things like that are popping up nonstop on my screen. It’s really funny that there are all these ways to contact me in ways I don’t want to be contacted.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love hearing from people, but I have one email address — david@davidwygant.com — that I want people to use to contact me.
People will be on my website, but for some reason or other decide to contact me via Facebook.
It’s not just Facebook. I get things from MySpace. I get things from Twitter. I get them from all over the place. I get people who just randomly text me nonstop saying things like “Hey, how are you?”
What is so funny is that in this age of communication where people are so good at communicating via all these different methods — Facebook, Twitter, MySpace etc — that people still can’t say hello to each other in a store. Pretty wild, isn’t it?
Can you imagine us all walking around with laptops around our necks? Every time we’d pass someone, their Facebook page immediately shows up on our laptop screen. So instead of actually talking to them, you can just send them an IM as they’re shopping in the grocery store aisles.
You could be sitting in traffic and, all of a sudden, you notice you’re attracted to the person driving in the car next to you. You could then immediately jump on their MySpace page, IM them and say “Hey you! I’m in the car next to you. Want to chat?”
People don’t do this in real life. Seems like everyone is good in the cyberworld, but lousy in reality, and the fact is that reality is the only thing that matters.
The other day I was walking near these two kids who were about ten or twelve years old. They were texting their friends and ignoring each other.
I remember when I was a kid, we used to go on roadtrips all the time. We actually used to look out the window and see what was going on around us. Now, kids stare at DVD screens in the car and text their friends.
It’s amazing how many people complain nonstop about how they’re not meeting anyone. The reason a lot of people aren’t meeting anyone is because they have their head up their electronic ass all day long!
As most of you know, I’ve been looking for an iPhone. One guy said to me that if I get the 3G iPhone, that it may not be compatible with the T-Mobile network making the mobile web service work a lot more slowly. I told him I didn’t really care because I don’t need the mobile web nonstop.
I like to connect with people, say hello to my friends and neighbors, and get to know new people. Also, what ever happened to learning what someone is all about as a person? I don’t need to read it on a Facebook page or a MySpace page. I can actually walk up to people and find out more information in five minutes than I ever would on their Facebook page or MySpace page.
When people write in cyberspace, it is often a bunch of lies. Everyone writes as the person they want to be, not the person they really are. Everybody makes themselves sound so perfect, and they do it on dating sites as well too.
So, really, think about the amount of hours you spend IMing people, texting people and trying to get in touch with old friends. Think about all the time you spend reconnecting with people whom you really haven’t connected with in so long.
We’re all looking for those great friendships or that great love, and we’re doing everything we possibly can to find them. We’re reconnecting on Facebook with people we dated twenty years ago to see if there’s anything to be rekindled with that old flame.
In reality, though, how much time are you spending every day actually going out and meeting people? This is what I’m teaching you here. It’s about the spark you can find in everyday life. It’s about living life and not spending so much time in cyberspace.
As I sit here wasting time not only checking out all the useless emails on Facebook, I want to also tell people to stop tagging people, hitting them with water guns, and all the other stupid applications that Facebook offers. Who cares if someone wants to squirt you with a water gun?
Great! Come to my house, talk to me, and then let’s get into an old-fashioned water gun fight instead of you tagging me with an imaginary water gun in this imaginary world called Facebook.
Are you ready to put down the Facebook pages and meet women out and about in the real world? Summer is a great time to meet people at street fairs.
Check this out and be inspired:)
Hope the Online-Offline advice helps David.
Haha, laughed really hard at this blog today, but it’s completely true
I’m always really guilty of it, and you’re completely right about the whole thing, kids playing game boys in the car on vacations, instead of looking outside the window, flirting ping pong with pokes on facebook etc.
No wonder the new generation is so closed up and anxious (including myself before the bc), MSNing all evening, Myspacing people instead of heading out there and meeting new people.
It’s funny but I used to be a heavy instant messaging chatter back in college. Ever since I started working… and even more so since I started going out, I rarely am on instant messenger.
Sure, I check my Facebook once in a while… but I don’t do much on it.
Life “out there” is so much more exciting that life “in there”.
after years of IT work, i tend to read email, a few blogs, and look for information on the net.
a phone call to people i know is my favorite way to keep in touch if we can’t meet in person.
meeting people via texting and methods like that is hard for me ’cause it doesn’t seem like
i’m dealing with a real person.
Anything with moderation, actually both facebook and SMS are great to keep in contact with people that live too far from you. I am able to read what my friends are up to and keep some contact with them. Without I would not have the time to follow up on them. Don’t mind either and don’t think they affect my ability to get in contact with other people. The danger is just with those who only rely on electronic kind of communications. Personally I work at home and often SMS are the best way to be able to talk to someone, while I work.
David in Facebook you can just put youself as Offline this way it just shows as you are not online.
Too busy on Twitter to contribute anything of value here anymore:-)
Value…did I miss something Dan
lol, yea I always notice the little facebook messages whenever I’m updating the blog.
Hey I use face book to contact the people I went to school with years ago and graduated with them thirty years ago. I was suppose to meet them but my daughters had other plans and I ended up going to Nashville instead and meeting people in a bookstore. I like talking to the clerks and asking questions about things I am interested in.
I like the video here, but I would be more curious to hear what was actually said in the interaction. Commentary on top would just be an added bonus.
Haha.. very well said.
Meeting people out in the real world is so refreshing and fun. Its like getting a home cooked meal that you prepared yourself or by someone special versus getting fast food. The world has become so impersonal with all the electronic gadgets, texting, and different social websites. I can’t even get nobody to call my ass no more!
I think the irony is – you don’t want people to spend time on the computer and yet you post videos that encourage them to come to your website – not to mention you have a WEBSITE and a TWITTER and a FACEBOOK and a MYSPACE and videos all over youtube.
Quit trying to be cool dude. You’re only impressing the scrub-nubs. I like what you have to say in alot of stuff I’ve seen but this post stinks of ,”Im cooler than you!” hidden behind pretend teaching.
“Look at me! I get texts from other people! I don’t even want to talk to them. IF you’re reading this your not cool even though Im trying to make a living from YOU reading this!!”
Cmon dude. Getting girls is easy. Getting texts is easy. What might be interesting for you is to start getting texts and messages and so on from people who you WANT to hear from. Maybe then you wont place such significance on meeting people you don’t know. Making new friends is cool but the point is to make FRIENDS Not just fill your life with a bunch of people you don’t want to hear from.
Geese
I post videos that are about 3 minutes in length and each one tells you and others watching how to create this in your own life.
The life outside the computer.
I do not try to be cool dude as you put it.
I am who I am and I dont try to be anything but who I am. And I could care less what people think of me. That is what I teach and tell others to be as well.
And if you a regular reader you know that I am not out getting girls or accumulating so called friends.
My time is spent with my girlfriend and all the friends that I have in my life. I do not fill my life or my phone or my facebook with people I do not care to be buddies with. I do not go out and collect numbers from people.
How you ever made that assumption is beyond me.
But once again people love to take words and make assumptions that are 100% wrong.
In the world or the internet people request you as a friend and being someone who has a very large network i will accept a cyber friend.
As you know a cyber friend is someone you will never meet…never hang with and never even utter a word with.
Thats life.
What i was doing was challenging everyone to get out of the house and stop hiding behind the computer and the social networking sites.
So for you to tell me what to do give it a break.
Your advice in the last paragraph is great but direct it to yourself because what you said is exactly what i was speaking about in this post and many others.
Check out this post.
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/delete-strangers/
I am all about people voicing their opinions on the blog and as you all know when someone is off or really wrong I will step in and correct the person who has made an false assumption.
In this case Geese you are flying south and its not even winter yet:)
It’s ok sometimes sit down in front of the computer, navigate these FACEBOOK, MYSPACE or etc just for networking, friendship purpose or for fun. eventually you will feel bored and dried.
Go out and meeting people’s better still. i still believe we’re all fear to meet people’s or just to say hello.My dad always said.. hey.. boy you got to learned to talk to people DON’t BE QUITE and expecting people say hi to you or just stay at home.
Go out.. face the world !!
Thanks, David, for reminding us to “keep it real”. I’ve just realized that I have too many friends online, girls that have never even heard of the city I live in… I should step out the front door and have a real conversation with real human being. It’s summer, and I guess I’m feeling dry from all those on my screen. Keep it real, everyone!!
*It’s summer, and I guess I’m feeling dry from all those VIRTUAL KISSES on my screen. Keep it real, everyone!!
(I didn’t know that putting text between brackets was interpreted as web code lol)
I made the assumption based on the fact that you said it.
You said, “Things like that are popping up nonstop on my screen. It’s really funny that there are all these ways to contact me in ways I don’t want to be contacted.”
Look, how are these people getting your number to text you unless you’re giving it to them? I do agree, you have to get out of your house to meet people, but that’s old news. As a matter of fact it’s one of the first things anyone learning any type of Game from ANYBODY learns right away.
But I think I know where you’re coming from.
PS – I am one person who people know as a guy who ONLY tells others things from experience.
But lets look at something. The positive side of Facebook or other sites for Socialness…
How about if I’m having a party and I want to invite 100 people or my promoter buddy is having an event and wants alot of ladies to show up. What about if I want to talk to my friend in KeyWest and I don’t have the number but she happens to be on Chat the same time as me on FB.
What about setting up a social site that just makes you look good to girls who are into all that FB stuff and say, “What’s your facebook?”
What about texting 10 girls I just got numbers from over the last week or so the word, “Tonight?” instead of calling each one and talking for 5-20 minutes to set something up?
What about taking your laptop to the local coffeeshop so you can pretend you’re doing stuff on it or even do a little something until you spot that cute girl you want to chat up? (i dunno maybe that’s not the same thing)
It’s all unnecessary – and YES it’s getting a little creepy seeing so many people glued to their phones texting people these days – but guess what?
It’s a necessary part of game. You almost can’t just call girls anymore and leave a voicemail. I might call a girl and get no answer and get a text from her a minute later saying, “What’s up? I’m blah blah blah so I can’t talk” but that’s just her shy way of saying she’d rather text and she does talk – through text – and if you got the text game tight then you can use it to pull the women to a real live meeting.
There is at least one or two instances where I have number closed a chick and with ONLY text had her come over to my house knowing Full well that she was coming over to have sex with me. This was completely skipping the day2 or date or whatever you wanna call it. One I met and talked to for 5 minutes in person before texting her over my place over a period of a couple weeks. Text is fast. Talking is slow. I don’t want to talk to them over the phone. I want to talk to them in person. Text can speed up the process from getting her from there to here so I can do just that.
Last week I was out walking my dog and deliberately turned down a alley where I saw some women taking a break from their super schmancy hair-studio job. The set was opened by them. I # closed a chick because she was definately interested in me.
Yes now if that’s your point of saying – Get out away from your computer and go meet people, then I totally agree.
But then what happens?
She texted me that night to ask me to come out. I texted her back. It made sense. Text is VERY powerful if you use it right. You can almost say things through text that wouldn’t even make sense on the phone and get women to respond in ways they might not feel comfortable to if they were talking directly to you.
I can give you examples of this all day.
Lastly – you and I both know I am not even 50% wrong.
But I know what you’re saying – And yes you are right but it can be summed up in the same 5 words that EVERYONE has been spouting for years and that is – Get Out Of the House!
Geese
Never said people were texting me:)
And its just randoms feeling the need to im me on facebook. I find it very funny why strangers feel the need to im me on facebook.
But as you know and you did make it clear that the point in to get the hell out of the house.
And 10 numbers…..you are wasting your time and not doing a good enough job of pre screening.
Are you just a number collector?
And so true great way to get a ton pf people to come to a bar b que. I used match and facebook for that a lot when i was single.
But you sound like you can meet a ton of women lets talk about why you are wasting your time getting 10 numbers.
Wow, I go away for a month and look at the fun characters I miss out on. Where did the Great Geese Howard come from anyways?
I like to use Facebook to promote my business side of my personality and to keep in touch with people that I connect to. But I’m not a fan of im conversations.
Geese, without knowing you but from all of two posts I have a question; why is racking up the numbers on your bed post so important to you? Is it validating to think you are a cool dude, or are you compensating your ego for the years you spent not able to talk to them?
Very true. As a young adult, I grew up probably 1/5 or 1/4 of my life using the computer and internet. And I realize how wasted away my life was. Now I see my younger sibling who’s only an upcoming middleschooler talk about DS Lite, ipods, playing videogames and already on some social networks that I frown upon.
A character from a book I read said the media targets young people, so there used to be midlife crisis, now its quarter-life crisis with all the technology. And then it’ll be half of that.
Seriously, life is better when I’m not ’socializing’ behind the screen and actually out there doing what I need and want to do. And these little kids online these days need to stop, go out to play instead.
Did you know that when I was a child in the sixties the only games we had to play was hop scotch ride on our bicycles up and down the street. Talk to our friends or play board or card games. We did not have video games or consoles to bug our parents about. Do you remember Dave when you were a kid in the sixties? We created our own games. Only time I spend on the computer is when I come home from work or answer my email or go on the blog. Most of the time I am busy taking care of the farm. Oh I have one more thing to add is I went horseback riding when I was a teenager. I remember when my brother bought the first Sega master system and that was when I was in my twenties and I remember the Atari system as well.
Let us do talk about that. 10 numbers was an example.
Tonight I got 1. 1 number. Thats it. A whole night out and only 1 number. But I can promise you I will see her for sure. I just texted her: “Don’t worry about me I got home safe
”
She said, “I’m so happy! Me too… in case you were wondering
”
Me: “I was just about to ask ;P”
and then a couple more texts where I told her I’d call her soon and she said ok talk soon! So if I got out an a few days a week and get 5 numbers a week – quality numbers – then is that bad?
I don’t get it.
There’s a guy called Paul Janka. He lives in New York and pulls around 15 numbers a day. Is that about number collecting?
Noooo. See there are different styles of game. If I get number I usually will see the chick. Simple. With Mr Janka – He is about going in, getting a number in about 1 to 2 minutes and then playing the numbers game.
Thats his way.
Thats not WRONG – Its his way.
My way is get some numbers when theres a vibe. Then I follow up. I will kiss a girl on the lips in the bar but I wont go for a makeout.
Do I screen them? Ya. As soon as I see them and probably for the first couple minutes of the interaction and then its a done deal. I am either in or I leave and move on. If there is a cool vibe and attraction right away I keep the vibe going and she does too.
If not, Well Im no dentist. I don’t like pulling teeth and to be honest I really dont know how. So I move on. You said it yourself David. Move on and find a new girl. There are plenty of them out there.
Tonights girl I didn’t make out with. I kissed her on the face several times. She kissed me on the face twice. I plow. I plow with attraction and making her feel like the most beautiful woman in the room because really – when I’m with her – I feel like she is too.
So lets talk about the 10 numbers. If I have 10 numbers in a couple weeks – I did say week or SO – I just realise that but it can be a few numbers in a few days. I only get numbers I feel there is something going on with. Mr Janka gets a ton.
But I do combine his method with pretty much everyone elses in the community as far as follow up but his followup stands out. Also theres another guy called 60yearsofchallenge and his text game follow up is great too.
Meanwhile Im all dumbfounded about this accusation that I do not prescreen. What exactly is the problem with my screening process? I would love to know? I wasn’t sure where you were going with this. Should I get more numbers or less? If more how many more? If less how many less? If I vibe with a chick should I just hope to see her again without getting her number? Should I tell her – “I don’t want your number! Just meet me at such and such a place on such and such a day – if you’re not there then too bad!”?
Should I not call girls and follow up with them if the vibe is good?
Should I be pulling them home the same night and banging them and then getting them saying ,”WTF just happened? I don’t even know that guy and we just did it!
Im going to forget it ever happened and act like he doesn’t exist!”?
Maybe I could send her smoke signals or telepathic messages to get her to come out with me.
Timebridgeing does work but getting a number of a chick I’m going to see is a necessity.
So either I am completely lost as to what you’re trying to say or you’re just disagreeing with me just to disagree – when in fact we may actually be agreeing but in different ways.
But this isn’t my website. Please enlighten me.
(interesting discussion BTW)
ok youre right. I thought you were saying people texted you you didn’t want texting you. You’re talking about IM. My bad.
Geese
I think you are overthinking and have really dived too deep into the community.
Paul Janka is a NYC player who decided that he wanted to be a dating guru. He is just a guy who can get numbers and what he does really works for him and works for him in NYC.
He is the good looking cocky new yorker. I know that person real well because when i was in my 20s in NYC i was him.
I went out and got 15 numbers in day and played the numbers game. I had so much trouble keeping track of the women that sometimes when i called i would get all my facts messed up.
You are doing great and what you are doing is working for you!
Dont change a thing and stop thinking.
I was only challenging you and making sure that you were being authentic and not just collecting numbers of women you had no connection with at all.
A lot of guys including myself in my 20s just collected numbers from any hot woman and hoped that when i called they would call back and we would have some kind of connection.
So you are basically grabbing a number of a woman who you have some sort of spark or connection with and giving them a call and seeing what happens the next time you see them.
That to me is what dating is all about.
Keep it up and dont overthink at all
Have a great saturday and thanks for the facebook add…always like to put a face to the post.
Thats REALLY good advice but Super hard for me to implement.
stop thinking
dont overthink at all
because I am a HUGE thinker especially when it comes to women and I really think it is my biggest enemy when I blow out a chick. I’m always trying to figure out the best strategy to get the results I want and sometimes – yes – that can and does backfire.
Good job reading into me by the way. That was right on the money. I just gotta figure out HOW to not think so much… That is the problem.
just live and be in the moment (Easier said than done). Whatever you want to do and want to say, say it, do it. Don’t hesitate except for at the most a second and then realize you need to just do it.
David, this is another great blog! Actually, that’s what I’ve been thinking. I thought I was weird and left-out when I started to do less Facebook, less Yahoo Messenger, less texting. I got bored of the cyber world. Sometimes, it annoys me. I thought going old-school: having real phone calls, hanging out for real, meeting people real, not cyber etc. all the old-school hangouts were weird. But after reading this, it makes me realize that it’s okay to just go out and be REAL.
But that doesn’t mean I’m gonna put a stop to it. I just need less of it.
Thanks David! Keep it up!