The Hotness Factor
April 11, 2010 
9 Comments
So here you are dating who you think is your dream girl. She looks great. Her body rocks. Her hair is sexy. Her eyes are beautiful. Her lips are everything you always wanted lips to be.
She has “the hotness factor.” When you look at her, you get so turned on and so excited. You just want to show her off to everybody.
You are so off the wall in “look at me world” thinking, “I used to be someone who could not attract women, and now look how hot my girlfriend is. She is so hot. Look at me!”
So many guys do that. Women are like trophies to them. They really are.
If they have who they think is the hottest girlfriend they’ve ever had, they are quickly flying home to show all their old buddies that they can get the hot one. They’re going out at night and they’ve got their arm around her thinking “She’s hot. She’s mine. Man, she is the hottest girl ever.”
What these guys fail to do, however, is to ‘look under the hood.’ That hotness factor that was the only thing in their consciousness about her, often turns lukewarm when they finally do. Then lukewarm often continues to cool off until it becomes cold.
Here is the truth, guys. What is inside is just as important as what’s on the outside. That hotness factor is going to wear off, and then you’re going to start to see her for exactly who she is.
When that happens, you’re going to start to notice things about her. “What? She has lines under her eyes. I never saw those before. Oh my God. Wait a second. Her body is not as hot as it was.”
The reason why you start noticing those things is because you start really getting into the core of who she is as a person. You get your head out of la-la land. You stop ignoring all the little things that she does which may or may not be satisfying, and you start waking up to what I call “the un-hot reality.”
Every woman, no matter how hot she is, has a real person inside that shell. That woman may be someone who, once the hotness factor wears off, probably isn’t even a match for you.
So, how do you get past all of this? As a man, we get intoxicated by this beauty, so all men need to think about abundance. You need to truly believe that you can get any hot woman anytime.
When you have that attitude, then looks don’t really matter to you anymore because you know you can date women to whom you’re attracted. You know you date women who have that hotness factor.
So all you’re really looking for is someone who deep inside resonates with who you are deep inside. Otherwise, once that hotness factor wears off, all you’ll have left is a good-looking woman who drives you crazy and irritates you.
It’s time to start looking deep when it comes to women. Every step of the way, you need to look at the warning signs and think “Does this person really understand who I am? Is this person someone who is as hot inside as they are outside?”
The outside — the hotness factor — it does wear off. The problem is that the inside never wears off.
It’s the inside that keeps loving you, nurturing you, being with you, wanting you and desiring you. It’s everything on the inside that works.
Would you buy a car with 300,000 miles just because it looks great on the outside? Would you totally ignore the fact that is has 300,000 miles on it, just because the old owner told you that it’s barely broken in? Wouldn’t you rather buy a car that looks good and is sound inside and out? I hate to put women in a car analogy, but it’s the truth.
Want to never again be at the mercy of the “un-hot reality” ever again? It’s all about never chasing another woman, and attracting the women with the real hotness factor. CLICK HERE to learn the secret to going from being the guy who is selected by women and the guy who SELECTS which women he wants to date.
Man, this is so true, its all about saying can I sit down with this person and have a great time!!
As soon as you drop the beauty factor, its so much easier to engage with her as a person, plus then you are being real and not fake which I have found builds huge amounts of attraction.
This is great advice because a little while back I was putting hot women on a silver platter when it comes to talking to them. I would agree with everything and want to spend money on them right away. This concept of dropping the hotness factor and seeing them as a regular person did help me.
David, everything important can be turned into a car metaphor, especially women. Men can be too. Heck, I could probably do a whole podcast with you just talking in car metaphors, but that’s another story for another day.
Back to what you were actually talking about, I dated a cheerleader in high school. It got me a lot more respect than it should have, especially because we broke up right after graduation. She was definitely not the right girl for me, but I loved the reaction I got when I was out with her. I thought dating her made me a complete person. I’ve had to learn this lesson over and over again. Lately, the girl who is most interested in me is a girl with absolutely massive, perfectly shaped breasts. My penis keeps telling me that I could be hooking up with her for at least the rest of the semester, but my instincts keep telling me that I don’t actually like being around her that much.
So basically, I should have learned this lesson years ago, and I know it in my head, but I have yet to actually learn it in my heart. Thanks for the encouragement to keep fighting my penis!
WOW this is so true
I can easily remember every girl that was “MEGA HOTNESS” i was interested in and they had a nasty personality… but yet the girls that were “ok looking” i was interested in i had the most memorable most fun times with
Hey everyone, I’m back (if you happened to notice me before). Wow, I’ve been waiting on a blog like this for quite some time. The hotness factor has always consumed my conscience until recently.
I’ve recently befriended a girl who has a boyfriend. I’d like to be more than friends. Do I just wait it out? How do I step up? Now that I’m better at attracting, I don’t want to screw this up.
I gave her flowers today as part of an inside joke, but she did say I was very cute for doing that, and she seemed excited. If it doesn’t work out, whatever, we’ll just be friends, but it’s something I’d like to pursue, so if anyone has advice, please respond. Thanks.
Drew,
About the flowers as part of an inside joke…cool, but remember not to do it too often or you will hear “Lets just be friends”, or anything similar to that. Even though she breaks up with her boyfriend, she can and will still say that, if you play it “nice and safe”.
Too much of one thing is never good, as the saying goes….
Do not wait it out I would advise.
Keep being the cool guy that has his own life and is passionate about his passions. If you go to the gym, keep doing your work outs, sleep enough hours, eat healthy.
Women are attracted to a guy who has a busy life, has passions and such.
Use romance, like you gave her flowers, as a spice, NOT the main dish. Same goes for if you playfully tease her, being cocky and funny. Ofcourse doing this too much will turn the girl off, because you are being sarcastic all the time and that is bad. I know that from personal experience:D.
Why do I say don’t wait it out. Because another guy might come along and he becomes her new boyfriend, while you just wait it out. So NO….don’t wait it out. Keep being the cool guy she is attracted to, even if she has a boyfriend.
One other advice: go meet other women in the meantime, don’t get stuck up on this one girl, no matter how hot she is.
Hope I helped. Good luck
F is right Drew. Jealousy is such a powerful emotion. Even if she doesn’t realize it, seeing you with other, attractive girls will make you more of a desirable partner. And if it doesn’t, then what? You’ve been dating around and have met a couple attractive girls. It’s a win-win.
Thanks, guys. I’ve been trying to not be the “nice guy”.
A relevant old joke:
A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but our guy manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island.
Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She’s also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful and says, “My God, you saved my life!”
He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford!
Days and weeks go by. Cindy and our guy are living on the island together. They’ve set up a hut, there’s fruit on the trees, and they’re in heaven. Cindy’s fallen madly in love with our man, and they’re making passionate love morning, noon and night.
Alas, one day she notices he’s looking kind of glum. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” she asks, “We have a wonderful life together, I’m in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?”
He says, “Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind, putting on my shirt?”
“Sure,” she says, “if it will help.” He takes off his shirt and she puts it on.
“Now would you put on my pants?” he asks.
“Sure, honey, if it’s really going to make you feel better,” she says.
“Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?” he asks.
“Whatever you want, sweetie,” she says, and does.
Then he says, “Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?”
She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, “Dude! You’ll never believe who I’m sleeping with!”