What are the four worst words in the English language? Do you have any idea what they are? They are: We have to talk.
What a powerful phrase that it. It’s never good when anybody says those four words to you. Usually when people say “We need to talk,” they do so lurching at you with a frustrated energy, because no one wants to have the talk that follows the announcement that “We need to talk.”
If you think about it, the reason that you have the “We have to talk” talk before you have the real conversation, is because you’re full of anxiety. What you have to talk about is probably something you’ve been thinking about for weeks, but just couldn’t get yourself to raise with the other person.
Because there has been all this buildup, when you do finally bring it up the tone that is taken is unbelievable. It is never a loving tone.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend ever says to you “We need to talk,” you know it is not good news. If it was good news, you would have heard about it already..
Nobody uses the phrase “We need to talk” to tell someone that they love them. When your boss calls you into the office and says, “We need to talk,” it’s never good.
It’s funny, too, because you could have just been in the kitchen with your boyfriend or girlfriend five minutes before talking about breakfast, then all of a sudden you are hearing “We have to talk.” So you say, “Weren’t we just talking?” and they will say “No, we weren’t having the ‘we have to talk’ talk.”
I don’t have a solution for the “We have to talk” problem, but I can tell you one thing. If you have something good to say to someone, you’ll never preface it with “We have to talk.”
Also, no matter what you have to say to someone — whether it’s something great or telling someone they are driving you up the wall — don’t start it off with “We need to talk.” Start it off with something more loving like, “Hey babe, I want to share something with you about the way I’ve been feeling that I think will really be beneficial to our relationship.” Doesn’t that sound much better than “We need to talk?”
Let’s talk about this. There are so many better ways to start a conversation than, “We need to talk.”
What would the theme music be for ‘we need to talk?’ Maybe the theme from The Exorcist? It must be something ominous sounding. Let me know if any of you have suggestions.
David,
Actually I think either the Michael Myers or the Jaws theme songs would be very apropos
David,
Hmm yeah, and also what about the ‘how much do you love me?’ question.
I think those 6 words also meet the same level of anxiety whenever they are said.
The music would of course be the theme from Jaws!
i think the worst 4 words are ” we are just friends”.
I really like your alternative to “we need to talk.” Thanks.
If it was my movie, the soundtrack would have to include Coldplay’s “Talk”:
“Oh brother I can’t, I can’t get through
I’ve been trying hard to reach you
Cause I don’t know what to do
Oh brother I can’t believe it’s true
I’m so scared about the future and
I want to talk to you
Oh I want to talk to you
You can take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung, or do
Something that’s never been done
Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle
You can’t find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they’re talking in a language I don’t speak
And they’re talking it to me
So you take a picture of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder up to the sun
Or write a song nobody has sung, or do
Something that’s never been done, or do
Something that’s never been done
So you don’t know where you’re going
But you want to talk
And you feel like you’re going where you’ve been before
You’ll tell anyone who will listen but you feel ignored
Nothing’s really making any sense at all
Let’s talk
Let’s talk
Let’s talk
Let’s talk”
Does this really happen that often? And are you saying that women more guilty of this, or men? I’m 55, and I’ve never said those words, nor has any man ever said them to me. It does feel scary, though, even when I read the words on the computer screen!
Steve-o, Adam and Virgo420 are right. The theme from Jaws would be the perfect underscore. But so would Bernard Hermann’s score for the shower scene from the original Psycho.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_XfUxXDldY&feature=related
David,
I got a question for you, I’m doing a report for school and i am doing the reason why relationships fail and i was wondering if i can use some of your blogs?