Do you know what I love? Man, I love doing a Bootcamp.
I love cramming all the guys into my car. Usually I have to drive around with Daphne or Sonja.
I also love when a guy at a Bootcamp comes up with a scenario he thinks is going to be a huge challenge for me. Nothing is a big challenge for me anymore, at least in the area of meeting women (and the emotions and concepts behind it).
It’s something that I’ve mastered, and it’s easy for me. I so enjoy now showing guys how it can be equally easy for them.
So it’s so great when I get challenged by one of the guys and am able to give them an easy solution. Then the biggest challenge is for that guy to actually go out and do what I say.
As you all know, being successful at meeting women is all about being in the moment, creating a moment and being real. So Adam, who came all the way from Australia to attend a Bootcamp here in L.A., had one of these “challenges” for me.
He said to me, “You know, I’m a workout guy. I go to the gym and I see women there, and it’s like they break my routine. It drives me bananas. There she is — on the treadmill, on the shoulder press. Here I am trying to make my body buff so all the women will think I’m a big guy and a stud.”
I told him I remembered that, because I was a big gym guy in my 20s too. I’d see that hottie and I just couldn’t concentrate any more. I’d be doing my sets, see her, and then I couldn’t concentrate at all because I’d be thinking to myself, “How can I continue to work out and get to know her?”
Well, once again, it’s all about the power of observation in this situation. How many times have you seen this woman before at the gym? What does she normally do for her workout? To whom have you seen her talking? Does she take any certain classes (like yoga)?
Ask yourself these questions. Once you know the answers, then you will have your approach.
Say you’ve seen that she uses the shoulder press every time she is at the gym, she likes to work her legs out hard, and you’ve seen her coming out of yoga class. Right there you have three different ways you can approach her.
You can walk over to her and say, “You know, I see you here all the time coming out of yoga class. How are the yoga classes here?” By saying this, you have opened up a line of communication.
You will then find out which nights she takes yoga, and then of course you will go and twist yourself into a pretzel on one of the nights she goes. You’ve already established a relationship – first contact.
Maybe you have noticed that she is aways hustling on the treadmill or the Stairmaster. So what do you do in that situation?
You get on the Stairmaster or treadmill next to her. She probably has her antisocial device (aka her iPod earphones) in her ears. So you point to them, and have her pull those out of her ears.
Then you look at her and say, “I’ll race you. Where do you want to go? You’ve already got a head start on me, so let me catch up.” Then you start running really fast to be a little comical. She will start cracking up, and you will start a conversation with her.
How do I know this? It’s funny, but I can hear you saying “Are you sure this is going to work?” I did this throughout my 20s, 30s and 40s.
Am I sure this is going to work? I am as sure as I know the sun will come out tomorrow (like Annie said in that play). I am as sure as I know I will have a morning hard-on. I am as sure as I know that I will be thirsty when I wake up. It will work.
Here is another thing you can do at the gym. Let’s say she is working out on the machines. You can look at her and say, “Man, you’re breaking a sweat. I don’t know if I can do that much weight.” You just be funny.
Then you ask if you can work in with her. When you get on the machine, you squeeze really hard pretending to be having a hard time with her weight and say, “One . . . that’s all I can do. You’re buff.” Have a good time with her and you will get her laughing and talking.
CLICK HERE to find out the EASY way I approach women at some of the other places you go to every day.
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3:51 pm
Haha just don’t observe too much or you’ll get the stalker thing. I’m not convinced It’l “work” but it’s better than no approach any day of the week.
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4:46 pm
David, you are right. I agree, these will work with the lady. One proviso though, if you want a ‘good one/nice girl’, (That description sounds so lame – sorry but I am sure you know what I mean), it will usually only work if you are genuine. If she feels you are genuinely interested in starting a conversation, she will most likely be happy to. Humour also works! Life can be pretty serious so making her laugh is a good start.
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5:55 pm
Great stuff i can’t wait to implement it.
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5:55 pm
I have always wondered how to successfully do it in the gym, and it sounds really easy, but its our monkey chatter that really hold us back.
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5:56 pm
Steve: totally agree monkey catter is our worst enemy.
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5:56 pm
Its not just our monkey chatter, its all our big penis lol
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8:10 pm
haha ya its hard to work out with the girls in the room. sometimes u can’t choose who to go for haha. I like ur methods, they r creative. Fun too, its seems like it would work cuz its hard to ignore a fun situation. Personally, I would do this stuff when my workout is basically. I don’t like too big of beaks in between. Girls can talk for a while when u get them goin lol
good post
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8:11 pm
*…basically done.
sorry
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9:27 pm
My biggest challenge is getting back into the habit of going to the gym regularly. I’m on spring break now, but my plan is to do just that when I get back to school. I doubt this was your planned result from this blog David, but by now I’m sure you’re used to unintentionally helping people.
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9:45 pm
David,
I love how you call Ipods’s anitsocial devices.” I totally agree with you! I refuse to wear one when I’m at the gym or walking around campus. Do you have any other openers for people with things stuck in their ears?
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10:21 pm
Jeff, how about this?
*point at her ipod and motion removing it* Hey! You seem to be enjoying your workout. I was wondering if it’s the music that you’re listening to.
What are you listening to?
Then talk about why you don’t like to wear “anti-social” devices while you work out.
Have fun, and be playful. Try it.
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11:53 pm
I need to know how you got big in your 20’s! Definitely wish I had some more muscle, and you’re roughly my height so spill your knowledge (Y)
I’ve set myself a challenge to reconnect with people I used to know on facebook, and sent 3 seperate emails to 3 girls I vaguely used to know in school, but still had a conversation.
I sent 3 emails, with 3 distinct cool memories, in context, after checking out some of my fave blogs of yours, and I’m going to see what kind of replies I get!! I could get back dont message me again, I might even end up hanging out with them! Trying to get out of my head and into the present, experimenting!
Hope you’re well David, I’ll send you my results,
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11:58 pm
So I’m doing the easy challenge!
Im gonna post up the emails if I get anything back, and hopefully a cool pattern will emerge. So if I say anything weird, or go off tangent or go random, and I dont get a response, I wont dwell on it, but learn from it!
Pete
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12:13 am
Although now I think about it, this may not necessarily work, because I’ve met them before and they’re not strangers, but its a start to getting out of my comfort zone!
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2:47 am
Nice Blog David,
Thanks for the advice. Now I can go and use them at the gym.
Everything works. It all comes down to congruence.
About the last two examples you pointed out, they might come off as sarcastic if not done right, in my opinion. But then again it comes down to MY underlying motive, being fun or sarcastic in the moment.
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