Everybody is looking for the definition of his or her body type. The problem is that most people never tell the truth about their body type. Especially on the internet.
On the internet, the majority of people are ‘athletic and toned,’ yet we live in a country where most people don’t work out.
It seems like the internet is always bucking all trends. There’s a ton of women on the internet that are 39 years old but yet there are no women that are 40 or 41. It seems like everyone wants to remain 39, 29, 49 – no one wants to cross over to the 4-0, 3-0, or 5-0!
Internet dating is really interesting because to succeed there, you should really put up an array of photos of yourself. The fact is that you look exactly the way you do. There’s no denying that. You can’t just check a box that says ‘athletic and toned’ when you’re not, because eventually you’ll have to show up on the date and the other person is going to see that you’ve never worked out.
You’re not going to be able to convince them – you won’t become a date salesman who sits there and convinces someone to like the body type they don’t like, or to become attracted to you when they aren’t.
So the best thing to do is to put up five pictures of yourself: three body shots (I’m not talking naked ones, or bikini shots, or muscle shots for guys) but three shots where you are standing head to toe. Three current shots that show exactly what you look like today, so there are no surprises.
The reason that most dates don’t work out is because the person was afraid to put up a picture because they didn’t like the way their body looked. They then go on the date, the other person isn’t attracted to them, and they don’t call them back. You can eliminate that step – why go out on so many first dates when you are misrepresenting yourself?
The fact is that you should be proud of who you are. Your body is your body. It’s exactly what it’s going to be, and you shouldn’t compare it to anybody else. You need to embrace it. So put yourself up there on the net, be who you are, and don’t try to sell yourself like a used car!
It’s funny, when I look for used cars, I’m always weary of the car that only has one picture up of it. Doesn’t she want to seduce me? Doesn’t she want me to take her for a test drive? Shouldn’t I see the wheels and the shiny inside? Shouldn’t I see the leather interior? I hate looking at a used car that the owner says is in absolutely perfect condition, and there are rips on the leather seats. You don’t want to be the car that has the rips on the leather seats.
You want to show everyone who you are. Get a friend, take a few pictures, smile, and be proud of who you are.
You know what? In the long run, you’re going to attract a lot more people doing it this way, and you won’t have to worry about what body type box you need to check off. If they see you, they’ll know what type of body you have!
Okay I only read part of the blog:
I am 49 years old
Read about my profile on facebook.com
Great advice you have there, David! I used to be guilty of mispresenting myself on the internet and guess what? I needed to create more lies to cover up who I actually am… I realized that it was dragging me down emotionally… So, I quit and delete all the contacts that I made online to start anew… And you know what? It’s not after I did this, that I started to see my social life in reality changed. =)
Perfect timing as I am doing my profile on Match.com.
Inspired by David’s Online Dating product, I am also in the process of setting up a profile on match.com and perhaps a German site as well. This advice about pictures is great and very true.
I have to admit that I usually thought the other way round. I tried hard to get this “first date” and then tried to “convince” her of my qualities. Which eventually led me to really hate those first dates…
Okay, I know better now….
My sister is on one of those dating sites and having snooped around reading her matches…all I can conclude that if I ever go one on of those sites it will be more like “The Lowered Expectations” dating service from Mad-TV.
Most of the women seem pretty honest but it’s funny if they have larger cups their profile pic has to be with a titty shirt. Still surprised from what appears To be a lot of honest and good ads or maybe they all had someone writing it for them.
I am just surprised that people would put up pictures that does not represent them selves. If you are serious about finding one it would have been like starting out on a lie. I think pictures of things you love to do with yourself in it makes sense. Still in general men tend to put a lot more “restrictions” to how a date should look like. The very few who does not stress that comes acrosse as much more genuine. Too young for me but some quite good ones in the 30-35 range.
I usually just put up a pic of my right nipple, I’m not sure why I don’t get any replies or responses…mmm, maybe it’s the hair.
i tried one of the internet sites for a few months & found that in my area,
“average” really means obese. i used “slender” since i’m 6′ + and 165 -170.
out of all “matches” i got, only ONE! met her physical description. nice lady,
but a bit far from where i live to consider it her someone that was more than
a fun lunch date.
Queen
No Offense being a woman I don’t want to look at your nipple. I prefer to look at a man.
So…wait. You didn’t address the title of your post – what DOES “curvy” mean to men of the internet? I get having photos up, that should be a given, but before you even get to the point of looking at profiles, you search based on characteristics – so if “curvy” to you means fat, then you’ll never see my profile pop up (listed as “curvy” because I am, in fact, hourglass shape, and was told by girlfriends that “curvy” means boobs.) So am I doing it right, or not?
Curvy means whale. End of story.