The Boning Season
February 25, 2008 
35 Comments
The Boning Season
By David Wygant
Recently Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so according to legend there will be six more weeks of winter. Had he come out of the hole and not seen his shadow, legend says it would have been an early spring.
This got me thinking. If something comes out of a hole and sees its shadow, does that mean there is only six more weeks of boning season?
Winter is technically the best season to bone. What else is there to do? It’s cold, rainy and snowy. What better thing to do than crawl into a hole, get warm, move around a little . . . and get all hot and wet together?
So I decided to come up with my own version of Punxsutawney Phil. I’m going to call him Punxsutawney Boner.
When Punxsutawney Boner crawled out of a hole and saw his six inch shadow this year, this meant there would only be six more weeks of boning season. Considering this happened about three weeks ago, you only have about three more weeks of boning season left.
It’s funny. People tend to be hornier in the summer because it’s the time of year when you see people wearing a lot less clothing.
If you’ve ever had sex in New York City in the middle of summer in a place without air conditioning, however, you know it’s pretty nasty . . . and an all over slip-n-slide (kind of like the slip-n-slide you used to play with as a kid). Because Punxsutawney Boner saw his shadow, winter is coming to an end and you only have about three more weeks of boning season left.
As a matter of fact, I think this is a much better holiday than Valentine’s Day. We’ll call it Punxsutawney Boner Day.
Punxsutawney Boner Day will be an excuse to crawl into a hole during these last three weeks of boning season. This holiday will not include any stupid candy hearts, and will require just an extra supply of condoms, lubricant . . . and pink fur handcuffs for all you deviants.
Enjoy the last few weeks of boning season, because you never know if next year Punxsutawney Boner will not see his shadow and give you an early spring.
Please, can anyone give me an answer?
Do men just stop kissing their woman for no reason? Is it just not that important to them?
Sara,
I do enjoy kissing. Not kissing anyone now coz i am not in a relationship. If a man used to kiss his lady and stops all of a sudden, then there`s a reason. The best panacea would be to talk about it–open communication if i may use DW`s words.
Sara, I don’t know the answer. I did have the experience of being with someone who didn’t like to kiss very much. It was frustrating for me because I like kissing more than anything. I hope the situation improves for you.
I have a little dilemma on my hands and I was wondering if you could help me out a bit. There is a girl lets say her name is Julie in my foreign language class (im a senior in high school) and I have a thing for her. Earlier in the school year, she knew that I liked her so I backed away for a couple months and just recently I have started interacting with her more again. I want to ask her out on a date but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate or how to do it. a lot of the guys on the team I play for hang out with her, but the problem is that I am in a totally different group of people…I have only hung out with her at basketball games, a dance, and one party (we mostly talk in school). She always talks to me and jokes around with me but I’m not sure if she’s toying with me or she’s actually flirting; she’s had 2 boyfriends since sophomore year. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
David;
6 inches?? Aren’t you cutting poor old Punxsutawney Boners “wood” short? LOL! LMAO
You are too damn funny with some of the stuff you come up with….it scares me how much of it I could have thought as well…exactly alike! lol
Hey, I am a seasonal screwer. Winter, spring, summer, or fall…I think sex is appropriate for ALL! Can you imagine only having sexual relations say in the winter and the summer.
WTH is there to get excited about in the spring? Some flowers blooming and watching the birds and bees doin it and chirping about it? lol Doesn’t work for me.
Then you have to skip the fall? I would just want to FALL ASLEEP and hibernate until winter!
Wiki12;
Hey, I say you never know until you try. If she is talking with you and joking/laughing, then there is a good indication right there she is interested to some point and degree.
Ask her out sweety….don’t hold back. Start now in your youth to be bold and courageous in stepping out on the perverbial limb of life and reach for that which you desire.
Don’t become an adult who was too timif=d and unsure so they stayed quiet. Tactfully at the appropriate time…I would say ask her to go out.
DAVID;
What would you say to Wiki12? We would wonder what Wygant would say?
DW: Boning season! You sir are a genius. I’m adding boning season to my daily vocabulary.
Wiki12: Why did you back away from her when she found out you liked her? What was her reaction when she found out? Dude, you’ve got to take some risks. Risks are attractive and it’s part of being a real man. If you act timid and shy, you’ll get nowhere with her. She’s WAITING for you to bust a move.
Find a way to isolate her, like at a party, get her laughing, and go for a kiss. If you must, ask her to do something fun and simple (ie a date). If she rejects, oh well, no biggee, move on.
Wiki12: High School can be a little clicky! I would ask for her phone number and then start calling. Sounds like you two already have friendship. Just be yourself, good things will happen.
Its all about the boning season except for wki:)
he is not ready to bone yet:)
in high school all i could ever thunk about was trying to bone or when would i ever lose my bone ginity….
theres a new word boneginity!!
David;
I “thunk” boneginity is a wonderful word for a mans dickasaurous respondis to his first erectopautomous! LOL
Glad you approved!!!!!
David;
Somehow when it cums to words and dick tion aries??? Who needs approval?????????
Whatever shoots out…just let yourself be free…
I have my own sex speak spiral notebook that I know would make my grandma make me put my life savings into the “naught & nasty” bank…lol
Isn’t it always boning season?! ;-D I thought the blog was hilarious. You would think up a holiday like that!! I personally like the warmer months better for boning. People seems sexier in the summer. They are in better shape: everyone gets in “swimsuit shape” by May. They have had time to work off all the extra calories from Thanksgiving on. The weather also allows for more outdoor “activity” if you know what I mean! Plus everyone looks better with a liitle color. I think people are generally happier in spring/summer because there are less clouds in the sky. It is nice to have someone keep you warm in the winter but I prefer summer romance. If you get too hot you can take a skinnydip in the ocean or in your pool together to cool off!
Joan
I think its time we unleashed a blog out fo you again. why dont you share how women love to be boned with all the guys.
Tell them how they can use their boners so women scream in pleasure.
I know you know a good boner when you see it.
So lets here from you and I will post it right on the home page.
So get cracking
Hey Naughty
I agree with you on some parts but love to get under the covers and create that heat in the winter time.
Plus its a great way to work on the abs so you look all hot for summer.
As you know…….I am not about the sun i am about creating the heat:)
David;
Yes that is certainly me…the boner babe of blogville! LOL Damn!!!! LMAO
Ummmm well as we all know I am not a boneaugrapher but I do know what makes me feel good.
Get cracking? Is there a pun in that statement David? LOLLLLLLLLLLL
So is this a bonin, moanin and groanin blog you are asking from me sir Wygant?
Thanks for the insight guys…do you think it would be better for me to try to go after her at a party and see where it goes from there, or hang out with her a couple times and then straight up ask her?
Yes Joan
Please tell me all about it. I want to hear how women like to be boned. All the nitty gritty details…..The men of this world need to know how to use there boners.
David
OHHHHHHHHHHHhhh I am laughing so HARD right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys, do you really need me to tell you how to guide and launch your missile to ensure explosive results?
David, this is almost like me writing, say ummm “How to go down on a woman?” lol
You know yes, this is damn awkward but I will bet your doggies bone, I can knock this one up….I mean out! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Joan, please write it before my date this Friday with the Asian cutie:-)
>>>>>>>>
Dan Dan Dan:
What to do about you and your “asian cutie?” Well if you are going to have sexual relations with her, I have heard as their eyes slant…so does their MMMHMMMsss! lol No I am not kidding…so don’t break a “leg.”
Well really now. Who has an “off season” when it comes to sex, although I haven’t GOTTEN off in quite some time…I do not see it as deer season where hunting is only allowed at certain times of the year.
My goodness. Can you imagine how frustrated this world would be without being able to fulfill their sexual needs?
Well I could tell you straight up…from freakin experience…The answer to that is DAMN FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!! LOL
My budget for batteries wears thin! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
To Joan:
>>>>>>>I have heard as their eyes slant
Wiki,
Get her phone number and go hang out. Don’t do the party thing just yet. Too many people, and no chance to get to know her better. Good luck!
Lou bega;
I only wish I knew what it was. He blows it off like it’s nothing.
Theresa;
Thank you for your hope of my situation improving. Kissing is too important to just not have anymore of!
David;
I would really like your imput on this. Do men just stop the passionate kissing when they are “comfortable” in their relationships?
To Sara:
Are you referring to kissing as in getting down, foreplay etc…? Or are you referring to the kissing that happens during the day, as in leaving for work in the morning or coming back from work.
I guess everyone is different. I must agree that probably most men are not into kissing, not too manly for them. I think kissing is too erotic and good enough for me as well as most women. Tell your partner “I like to be kissed here and here…or I like when you kiss me passionately, you make me so wet I feel like a bitch in heat …..or something like that, u catch my drift:-)
As far as the occasional hello/goodbye kiss…we used to do it, not anymore…I find it too “expected” and “conforming”….not me. If I feel like it I would do it, is still happens once in a while. Just don’t make me do something I do not really feel like doing because I won’t be “into” it and the kissee would know,so why bother?
Hope this helped and did not confuse more…Maybe YOU overthink too much:-)
Wiki12: You can bust a move at either, whatever comes first. If no party is on the horizon, try asking her out for ice cream or whatever fun, simple thing there is to do in your town. Run solid game on her during the interaction and go for the k-close when appropriate.
I used to live in this beach town in FL, so I would ask chicks to go for a slice of pizza on the boardwalk and then walk around and look in cheesy beach shops. Tons of fun.
Dan;
I am referring to getting down. A passionate kiss gets me wet and excited about what’s to Cum. It’s much nicer than having to work to get it in when all you got to do is spend 3 minutes getting me hot, wet and excited with a kiss.
I would never MAKE you or anyone do anything! Your comments do help, thank you. You did not confuse me, just wanted to know how men feel about kissing.
I am not overthinking, just want to know how other MEN feel about kissing. Because it is something I am missing….. don’t have to overthink that. It is what I am missing. Period.
Sara
Do women all pluck there eyebrows in heavy traffic.
Do all women have giving head?
Do all men masturbate to porn?
Do all men not listen?
I let the comments flow here on this so you could get different views.
I think you know my answer.
You cant make generalizations about all men not wanting to kiss. The guy you were with stopped kissing you…..he was not a kisser maybe in the begining he was to hook you but you found a guy who it was not important too.
I love to kiss its fun and something that is important to me.
You need to find a guy that feels like you do in the kissing department but dont lump all men in one pile.
Thats why you need to date many men to find the one that fits you….you will never have answer that will lump all men into one category that is what makes the whole process of dating and relationships interesting and fun.
If we were all the same life would be so boring!!!!
Joan,
Already looking forwad to your blog..Pretty sure it will highlight vital aspects from an experienced ladies angle..How do u feel substituting the J in yo name with M?
DW,
Bertie & officer Naughty & sara should also prepare something for us..i mean a blog about anything from a ladies angle. Humble request all the way from Gent.
DW
I could never lump all men together in a pile. Sorry if that’s how you took it.
Sara
Did not take it that way…..but felt like you wanted an answer to the secrets of men and we are all so different.
I felt your frustration and really wanted to give you an honest answer.
Too many dating experts try to give an answer that the client wants to hear and i really prefer to let it all out…the whole truth.
You need to find some better kissing partners and have fun in the search.
That is a fun search to conduct!!!!
So kiss away!
Sara,
From yo posts, u seem to care and love yo guy except that he doesnt go the extra mile in kissology. I would suggest that u talk to him about it in a non-offensive way which wont rupture his self-esteem. U can easily bring it up jokingly or send him a lovely txt connecting kissing to getting or wet. Anything like ” I get so wet everytime u kiss me”.
Sara
(Dan) “I must agree that probably most men are not into kissing, not too manly for them.”
I don’t believe it.
(Dan) “…the hello/goodbye kiss…”
I prefer giving a hug there. An enthousiastic one…:)
Yes!
It’s so much more meaningful to me.
Or both
And, yeah I agree with our friend Lou bega here above.
Wiki
Whatever you invite her to, make it something fun!
Something that you’ll enjoy anyway. And as David says – something that puts you in a good mood, which is attractive and full of life and vitality.
I asked a girl who has great style to come shopping with me and gimme her advice.
Her reaction was positively powerful and she needed ‘a new wardrobe’ too.
David,
“If we were all the same life would be so boring!!!!”
Yes, a new spin from someone new is always exciting isn’t it?
Sara,
If you’re really into this man in all other ways, talk to him about it. Make sure you’ve told him what you have to say is not an attack, but a request.
Lou,
Now what on earth would I blog about? I keep tellin ya the comic relief chick don’t get no men….lots of men friends, but no lovin….at least lately.
to bertie,
…no men? I am sorry…
Thanks Dude Nice Post .