Comments on: The Big Payoff http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/ Sex. Relationships. Dating. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:04:02 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Jeff http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18137 Jeff Sat, 13 Sep 2008 13:59:14 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18137 Erika , that is such great advice . I am always thinking and consequently less in tune with what I am feeliing.... I'll try that and check out the site too , thanks Erika , that is such great advice .
I am always thinking and consequently less in tune with what I am feeliing…. I’ll try that and check out the site too , thanks

]]> By: Erika http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18101 Erika Fri, 12 Sep 2008 01:44:27 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18101 Thanks, Rich. Your post made me smile. Here's to feeling warm and fuzzy all the time... Thanks, Rich. Your post made me smile. Here’s to feeling warm and fuzzy all the time…

]]> By: Khiem http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18082 Khiem Thu, 11 Sep 2008 18:55:36 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18082 The big payoff always happen when you least expected. When I focus on the present moment, when I focus on the process instead of the goal, sometimes, I look back and I am amazed at how far I've gone... or better, at how big the payoff was when i didn't even realize it. It makes life truly THAT much enjoyable. I'm seeing a girl right now... and when I met her, I didn't think of anything totally serious would come out of it. I was thinking of a casual hookup for a while.... but the more I get to know her, the more I realize how great she is to me. Who knows where this might go? It doesn't matter to me much right now, but I'm certainly enjoying the journey. The big payoff always happen when you least expected. When I focus on the present moment, when I focus on the process instead of the goal, sometimes, I look back and I am amazed at how far I’ve gone… or better, at how big the payoff was when i didn’t even realize it.

It makes life truly THAT much enjoyable.

I’m seeing a girl right now… and when I met her, I didn’t think of anything totally serious would come out of it. I was thinking of a casual hookup for a while…. but the more I get to know her, the more I realize how great she is to me. Who knows where this might go?

It doesn’t matter to me much right now, but I’m certainly enjoying the journey.

]]> By: Rich http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18077 Rich Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:23:59 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18077 Great way to put it Erika. When the noise quiets in my head, that is what I feel and it's an incredible warm and fuzzy feeling. Great way to put it Erika. When the noise quiets in my head, that is what I feel and it’s an incredible warm and fuzzy feeling.

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18075 Elizabeth Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:39:00 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18075 Hi David, I thought I would check your blog b/4 calling it a night.... Yup. Tonight, I was talking to a guy I've met not too long ago and I'm head over heels over. Tonight he was spending time with one of his good friends, and I think he had a couple drinks, and when I tallked to him on the phone he teased about marriage.... Panic. I'm definitely hoping to find a partner in my near future, and this guy is a great guy, I'm so impressed with him, he seems so much of what I want in a guy I think it was a slip on his part, b/c normally he is so polished and sophisticated in how he pursues me and makes me feel comfortable and wanting him more But I don't want to be the goal I want to be the best friend of someone who becomes my best friend and I want to be absolutely turned on by the one that I love so that, perhaps, eventually I can't live without him.... Hi David,
I thought I would check your blog b/4 calling it a night…. Yup. Tonight, I was talking to a guy I’ve met not too long ago and I’m head over heels over. Tonight he was spending time with one of his good friends, and I think he had a couple drinks, and when I tallked to him on the phone he teased about marriage….

Panic.

I’m definitely hoping to find a partner in my near future,
and this guy is a great guy, I’m so impressed with him, he seems so much of what I want in a guy

I think it was a slip on his part, b/c normally he is so polished and sophisticated in how he pursues me and makes me feel comfortable and wanting him more

But I don’t want to be the goal
I want to be the best friend
of someone who becomes my best friend
and I want to be absolutely turned on
by the one that I love
so that, perhaps,
eventually
I can’t live without him….

]]> By: Erika http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18068 Erika Thu, 11 Sep 2008 04:07:02 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18068 A really easy way to stay present and stay in the moment: move from thinking to feeling. It's almost impossible to get into your head when you keep your attention focused on your feelings. I feel frustrated, I feel excited, I feel nervous, I feel elated. Watch your feelings shift moment to moment, and you'll be present almost automatically. If you haven't started practicing non-violent communication, please see this website: www.cnvc.org. It's one of the most powerful tools out there for increasing your presence. A really easy way to stay present and stay in the moment: move from thinking to feeling.

It’s almost impossible to get into your head when you keep your attention focused on your feelings. I feel frustrated, I feel excited, I feel nervous, I feel elated. Watch your feelings shift moment to moment, and you’ll be present almost automatically.

If you haven’t started practicing non-violent communication, please see this website: http://www.cnvc.org. It’s one of the most powerful tools out there for increasing your presence.

]]> By: Reynold http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18058 Reynold Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:02:16 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18058 i really liked this blog. it is like the cure for having outcome dependence! often times i will be talking to some girl, and all i will be thinking "oh whats next, o whats next" and that will really kill my interaction. Because by thinking about the payoff i'm actually missing the moment, the now, and the fun in the interactions, which ultimately killing the vibe of the whole interaction. i really liked this blog. it is like the cure for having outcome dependence!
often times i will be talking to some girl, and all i will be thinking “oh whats next, o whats next” and that will really kill my interaction. Because by thinking about the payoff i’m actually missing the moment, the now, and the fun in the interactions, which ultimately killing the vibe of the whole interaction.

]]> By: David Wygant http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18056 David Wygant Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:34:42 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18056 Jim Agree with you. Buy what you love!! As i stated with adam in todays down market the prices in so cal do not reflect it as of yet and houses that need a bit of work should be a lot cheaper. i can leave the house as is....but do not like outdated kitchens or baths, I am starting to realize that no matter what i buy its going to need work unless i buy new construction. Jim

Agree with you. Buy what you love!!

As i stated with adam in todays down market the prices in so cal do not reflect it as of yet and houses that need a bit of work should be a lot cheaper.

i can leave the house as is….but do not like outdated kitchens or baths,

I am starting to realize that no matter what i buy its going to need work unless i buy new construction.

]]> By: David Wygant http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18055 David Wygant Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:31:53 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18055 Adam That is some great advice In todays market you really need to be careful. I have this house in mind...love it. Hate that i have to put in 80k right after buying it to update the kitchen and all the bathrooms. That is not fun....... Adam

That is some great advice

In todays market you really need to be careful.

I have this house in mind…love it.

Hate that i have to put in 80k right after buying it to update the kitchen and all the bathrooms.

That is not fun…….

]]> By: Adam http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-big-payoff/752/#comment-18053 Adam Wed, 10 Sep 2008 23:58:53 +0000 http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/?p=752#comment-18053 Payoff is important. Not necessarily financial payoff though, to me the real payoff is happiness and enjoyment. Whether that is in a house, a job, or in a relationship. As David said, quality of life is of prime importance. I've recently been looking at homes as well and started by looking at it purely from a financial perspective. The best advice I ever got was from a real estate investor who introduced the concept of forgetting about the investment aspect and choose someplace that you get excited to come home to, after all you'll be coming home there for a while to come (especially in this market). I've also introduced this concept in getting to know people. Rather than "hitting" on women I approach them and just try to have a fun, casual conversation with no real agenda. If I'm interested in getting to know them more I'll let them know that, if not then I still have a polite fun conversation with them and just leave it at that. Payoff is important. Not necessarily financial payoff though, to me the real payoff is happiness and enjoyment. Whether that is in a house, a job, or in a relationship. As David said, quality of life is of prime importance.

I’ve recently been looking at homes as well and started by looking at it purely from a financial perspective. The best advice I ever got was from a real estate investor who introduced the concept of forgetting about the investment aspect and choose someplace that you get excited to come home to, after all you’ll be coming home there for a while to come (especially in this market).

I’ve also introduced this concept in getting to know people. Rather than “hitting” on women I approach them and just try to have a fun, casual conversation with no real agenda. If I’m interested in getting to know them more I’ll let them know that, if not then I still have a polite fun conversation with them and just leave it at that.

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