The Awkward Silence
August 19, 2010 
3 Comments
That awful, awkward silence that happens sometimes on a date. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
You’re sitting there on a date. You’ve been looking forward to this date. You’ve build up a whole fantasy in your mind about this person. You really think that this is going to be the woman (or the man) for you.
Now they are sitting there next to you. After about twenty or twenty-five minutes, however, the conversation just kind of dies. Then there is that awkward silence.
It’s funny. When you’re with somebody for a long time, you have what people call comfortable silence. In the first twenty minutes or half hour of the beginning of this so-called relationship that you were so sure was going to happen, though, it’s called an awkward silence.
So what do you do in that situation?
At those moments, it’s time to make a joke. Just look the person in the eyes and say, “We’re having our first moment of comfortable silence together. It’s so nice, isn’t it? It’s like we’ve been together for a long time. Here we are. We’re both eating our burgers right now, and we’re having that comfortable silence that people have who have been dating for like six months. Don’t you feel it, too? Aren’t you as comfortable as I am right now?”
Kind of make a joke about it, because most people are probably nervous. Plus, remember that there are allowed to be silent periods in conversations. You don’t have to just keep rambling on and rambling on and rambling on nonstop.
Now, sometimes, there is silence on a date for another reason. Maybe twenty minutes or a half hour into the date you realize that there may not be as much chemistry between you as your mind had imagined there would be.
In that case, that awkward silence may be because of a total lack of chemistry. You can play that situation two ways.
One, you do the thing that I actually told you to do, i.e., make a joke about it, and then try to finish the date as enjoyably as possible. Two, you can look at the person and say, “Hmmm, do we have a lack of chemistry?” Since I don’t suggest going with the second option, I recommend you go with the first option.
Hmm, i think it depends on what caused the silence. Is it because you’re nervous? Then you better start talking and get into a better mood, because she will feel your nervousness and get nervous too. As a man, you always have to lead, even emotionally.
The cool thing about “comfortable silence” in relationships is actually pretty dangerous during the first phase of getting to know each other. Here the relationship dynamics is completely different. She will look for signals whether she can trust you, and you are comfortable with yourself.
So i suggest you first check your emotional state before coming up with the excuse “we have no chemistry”!
The awkward silence….
Strangely enough, this has become one of my favorite moments in interactions with women.
I use the moment to look deep into her eyes and create sexual tension.
Sometimes I’ll say: “Do you feel it too”?
Her: “Feel what”?
Me:”Watch”.
At some point she starts to giggle.
Sometimes they feel the sexual tension and tell me that it feels like I can see right through them. I am not looking at her in a psycho way, but just keeping normal eye contact.
Hi. Over the past while I have made it a point to get out and approach/carry on a conversation with at least one beautiful woman each day. Sure, I have been rejected, and yes I have felt the harsh discouragement after that rejection. But if you can’t handle the rejection then don’t be in the game. The more I did it though, the better I got at carrying on a conversation. Now, it’s almost like those awkward silences don’t exist. I have practiced enough to where I am able to converse with a girl about anything. It’s actually a lot of fun instead of a lot of work. Just practice practice practice and you WILL get better at conversing.