Comments on: The 6 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online For The Very First Time

By: john

john — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 19:37:16 +0000

guys, I know that this is an old post, but if anyone reads this, I was wondering,,,
What about opening up with IM?? is that considered rude? I’ve never had a woman send me an email, and no woman has ever responded to a mail I sent out, but I have had a couple of women send me an IM. It is usually, “hi, how are you tonight?”
It doesn’t bother me, because I am a guy, and any contact from a woman beats none, but I am wondering if women get offended by the IM approach.

By: Adriana

Adriana — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 02:01:41 +0000

Yess! read the profile! Commenting only on pictures is as bad as the “cookie-cutter” email men send.

By: Tony888

Tony888 — Wed, 12 May 2010 21:20:23 +0000

I’d like to connect with that girl in the pic above.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:59:41 +0000

Just because you see someone on a site and send them a great email, doesn’t mean that they will, or are even able to respond.

I found that on certain dating sites, there are more “lurkers” with free trial offers than there are paying customers. If you are attracted to one of them and they don’t have full access to the service, you’re not going to get a response.

I found that the best approach is to wink at them first, then about 10 or 15 min later, send them an email. Timing on this is everything. They can look at the time that you sent them, so don’t make it too far apart. Make it look like you saw them, you winked, but really wanted to communicate and wrote the email BEFORE browsing for other contestents.

On another note about time… You can look, you can save profiles, but whatever you do, don’t contact anyone at 2 or 3:00 am. Just because you’re home alone, wishing you could be with one of the women here, she’s just going to think that you’re a desperate looser home alone. Same thing applies to 9:00 Saturday night. Can’t get a date,? then go out with friends.

I found the best time to make contact is between 8:00 and 10:00 pm on week nights. Some are home watching TV. Some are surfing the net. No one expects you to be “out” then, so it’s the perfect time to browse. Let her know that you have a life. She can and should be PART of it, not ALL of it.
BTW, great success with Match

By: JR

JR — Wed, 12 May 2010 17:02:58 +0000

Here is my take on the matter. I consider myself to be above average in regards to looks and I tend to do well out in the field. However, the online dating world has been very difficult for me to flourish in.

I too ordered David’s online material, and spent countless hours trying to update my profile, read profiles and send out various types of short/witty responses and I had very little success. If my only source of meeting women was online, I’d be a mess.

Yet, like others have stated, I also believe David’s newsletters are informative and educational. The hitch that I’ve encountered is his online dating material just hasn’t lived up to the expectations I envisioned. Maybe I need to put more time into it and continue to face rejection. I’m not sure but I do know that at this time, online dating just isn’t a viable option for me in meeting women to date.

By: Ahmed

Ahmed — Tue, 11 May 2010 21:25:19 +0000

I always recieve David Wygant’s newsletters and enjoy reading them as a matter of social meaning not as chasing girls,the reason is that my culture and faith are totally difference than his,such as eye-contact,going clubs itc but I don’t deny there are still some universal things.

My opinion towards Online dating,I do believe it is just like gambling with a gun,I had one year experience of online dating.At first it seems that it can work out for me,but unfortunately my dream that I had had 12 months ended there.

I do believe David’s newsletter is good at certain points but not all the time since you can not have him as a reference.

By: kindred

kindred — Tue, 11 May 2010 21:19:16 +0000

I think DW is right on most issues but NOT on generic emails. I used to do online game and send out well crafted highly personalised opener emails to get little if no response. After checking out other online help I used highly generic with a *little* personalisation openers and get better response. So what’s happening here? Firstly as other people have pointed out too much personalisation smacks of try hard. Secondly a good opener email is good whether you send it to 1 girl or 100 – for them it is unique. Lastly generic mails save LOTS of time, why should you spend a lot of time on them? You don’t even know the girl yet!

To all those guys that say that women just care about your appearance – NOT true – well they certainly are less obsessed than men. How do I know this? I gamed WITHOUT a profile picture (long long story) Women are more interested in what you say and how you say it. They will ask for a photo but at that time they are likely to be interested regardless – they will fit you into their type. However just like in the real world good looks DO help.

Lastly guys if you realise how much mail women get you will appreciate how overwhelmed they get – Helpful hint – if they don’t respond it maybe because of this – send a follow up opener. Do NOT harrass but be persistent.

By: Ahmed

Ahmed — Tue, 11 May 2010 21:17:23 +0000

I do believe David’s newsletter good at certain points but not all the time since you can not have him as a reference.

By: Josh

Josh — Mon, 10 May 2010 03:10:50 +0000

John: Thank you for the compliment…I think. I have been told I’m above average, but I’m only 5’9, which hinders me. I have tried boosting it up to 6’1 just to see the difference, and yes, the responses went up, but I didn’t pursue any of those women because I felt it would be falsifying. I had maybe two comments on my pictures and a few more on my profile. Mostly it was just related to the email I sent.

I cheated a bit, because I am amazing with one particular type of woman (the party girl), but not as good with the women I actually want to attract. I have had great conversations with extremely attractive women, but I wouldn’t want to date them. I used a generic message and had a better response rate, too.

The short and sweet worked best for me either way. Anything longer than a paragraph never got responded to.

By: dave310

dave310 — Sun, 09 May 2010 17:26:45 +0000

Sometimes people will leave a profile up on-line, but are no longer dating or tending to it. It’s like a ghost ship out at sea, luring people onto it, but nobody is at the wheel. You may not get a response for that reason. I’ve talked to some attractive women who get on a dating site, then get overwhelmed with messages and give up. (But their profile will stay up for a while depending on the site.)

When I did Match.com they had a 6 month special. I did it actively for 2 months then stopped…but my profile sat up there for 4 more months without me visiting the site.

As far as the generic message vs being more specific, I’d go with a short message mentioning something specific about her. I think witty is good. Trying to be TOO WITTY can back fire, but if someone gets your sense of humor that’s a plus. The problem is when you come off too corny or your humor doesn’t translate well to text. (Sometimes voice inflection and tone can make all the difference. A dry or sarcastic sense of humor doesn’t always work in a written message.)