Talking Dirty
October 15, 2009 
34 Comments
Let me ask you a few questions. When you’re at a friend’s house and you use his restroom, do you pee all over the floor? Do you leave the water running after you’ve washed your hands? Do you dry your hands on his guest towel, and then throw it on the floor?
I am guessing (or maybe more hoping) that the answer is absolutely not. It always amazes me, though, how disgusting it is in so many public restrooms. Really, they are repulsive.
I don’t know about you, but I have to go into some type of yoga pose in order to be able to pee in a public restroom. I don’t want the bottom of my sneakers touching 4,000 other people’s piss!
Do people do this in their own bathrooms? No, but it seems like there’s urine everywhere in public restrooms!
You go into a public restroom to take a dump, and all of a sudden you become the maid. You have to clean the toilet seat off because there is always urine all over it. There are puddles of urine everywhere.
It is absolutely repulsive. People are animals.
Have you ever been in an airplane bathroom? You know you left that little present in the bottom of the bowl. You could have flushed it! If hygiene or courtesy doesn’t inspire you, think about getting to hear the cool flushing noise of an airport toilet.
People leave those kind of presents all over the place . . . and it isn’t even Christmas! I just don’t understand why people act like animals in public restrooms.
So let me ask all of you this: What is the grossest thing you have seen in a public restroom and why? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours. I guarantee, my story is grosser than anything you can ever imagine!
One time when I was around the age of 10, I was at a local swimming pool and I had to go take a dump. When I went in the stall there was piss covering the seat and I did not want anything to do with it. I always had a phobia for goin number 2 at public bathrooms but this time I think grandma’s candy had my stomach twisted up and I had no other choice. I decided to just squat and hover over the seat to avoid any skin to piss contact and let one drop. Sure enough because I was launching from a couple feet above the target my shit ended up reflected back out of the toilet and onto the ground! I just stared at it in shock and embarrassingly scurried back in the pool leaving my shit there…squashed on the ground for the next kid to probably step on…haha I still feel bad to this day.
I was working on a building site in Perth Australia. There we’re a wide range of nationalities amoung us. Maybe seven or eight that i can think off. I know all cultures are different but for the least part you would think that everyone has the same rules for going to the toilet. My view would be is to do the job and get out of there making sure that the guy outside waiting to get in wouldn’t have to clean your piss up after you. That’s just plain bad manners.
Anyway one day at work i met a workmate on site and he didn’t look happy, disgusted would be a better term. When i asked what was up he proceeded to tell me that one of the guys had walked out of the toilet and he was the next unfortunate guy to walk in after him. He took a moment not to gag before carrying on. The guy before him had taken a shit. Now i not saying he didn’t flush or anything but if he had there was no way the water was going to get at the shit to wash it down. He had shit a full blown shit and it was sitting on the rim.
Work this one out in your head.
Steve.
The nastiest thing I’ve ever seen in a public restroom is the troph-style urinal at the Silverdome in Detroit. It was the first football game I had ever been to as a 12 year old and I had no idea that trophs existed for anything other than feeding farm animals. 40-50 guys pissing next to each other and no privacy…I found a corner and claimed it the best I could. Thank God Barry Sanders was there, otherwise I might have sworn football off for good!
Dan- that is so fuckinnn disgusting man LOL
I feel like throwing up today after reading the blog and all the comments LOL
HOWE- don’t trough up on the blog i am sure you have a story, so share one!?
I never get that either, why people act like a retards when it comes to public restroom. Maybe if there was a camera they would behave better:)
Wow today the blog is about public restroom, what about tomorrow? i wonder, maybe vomiting lol
DonJuan- tomorrow is about sex in the public restroom:)
which is howe’s favorite topic:)
hahahh Jacob you are character man!
how is the ladies treating you?
Donjuan- **great**
are you doing the homework as i asked you to?
Yes and you should get a reply from me soon thanks!!!!
Here is mine….. this one time I was in the Caribbean with my family. I was maybe around 10 years old. Later at night we went to a really nice party, and i was talking with this girl. All sudden I had a huge stomach ache, I could tell that I needed to take big dump, so I told the girl, I have to check up with my parents. So after that I was looking for a toilet, some reason I couldn’t find it, and I needed to go so bad, so I went to the beach and dug a small hole and laid it all there for the tourist. I feel bad for all the kids that was going to make sand castle the next day. Til this day I still cannot forget about this story! LMFAO
I used to clean bathrooms as a part of my after-school job. One day I think a homeless person shaved in the bathroom sink…while he was drunk. Thick, black hair were all over the sink and counter.
welcome back jimmi where have you been?
anyhow really funny story LMFAO and its sick!
Crystal- how did you clean all that mess LOL
HOWE- thanks! good to be here as always:)
I can’t figure out how women manage to pee all over everything. If you’re going to try to pee standing up, please lift the seat!
No one has a story as disgusting as this. Not even David.
I was in college at the time and I had 1hr and 20 minutes before my next class began, so I went to King Taco and ordered a big ass burrito with beans and rice. I don’t know why, but every time I ate one of those fat things, I had to go take a crap 20 minutes later. So I took a mean shit during rush hour (when everyone is in and out of the restroom) and that thing stunk! It was unbearable, even for me. I had to take all the books out of my backpack and put the backpack over my head and zipper it, it stank so bad.
Anyhow, the janitor (some old black guy) was emptying the trash and he could smell my shit because he was yelling at all the people in the stalls to flush that mutha…. anyhow, I was cracking up behind the stall. So I sat there till my legs got numb and then I wiped my ass and left because…….I had a physical!!!!
So at the physical, the doctor had to perform a rectal exam. And he told me to pull my drawers down and bend over. Suddenly, I smelt the crap I had tossed earlier. The room was filled with my smelly crap again. How embarrassing!
I was working at Ruby Tuesday in Swansea,Ma as a dishwasher back in 1997. Some employee walks into the office and says,”don’t go in the men’s bathroom,smells like someone fell into the toilet bowel and died” We laughed it off the manager and I.
Abut 10 mins later the manager comes and gets me and says to bring the mop…Someone shit all over the toilet and half of it landed on the floor,then the customer came back and sat back down at the bar…The manager cleaned it up.
Jen, Maybe women should of grown a penis as well. peeing standing up is sooooo convient
I’m guessing guys don’t get to see used tampons sitting in toilets very often…
No Amy, but we do get to see shit left in the bowel often
Sometimes dorm bathrooms can be awful, specially when drunk girls return from the party and vomit all around the toilet (if they make it… i once found puke in the hall). Then when you wake up the next morning and want to take a pee, you have to run into the next dorm building to find a decent toilet.
So do we, Kevin!
My fecal anecdote goes back to when I was only a wee lass of 4 or 5. My mother, who was a choir director at the time, brought me with her to the church one evening to sit in at a rehearsal, as she sometimes did. At the end of the rehearsal, I told her I needed to use the bathroom, though not specifying it was for #2. The bathroom was located in the presbytery and the door was locked. My mother asked if I could hold it. I couldn’t. We walked outside into the cold winter night. There was a small accumulation of snow just above the church steps, so my mother told me to go in that, expecting me to pee. The look on her face when she saw me pooping on the church steps. I will remember it to this day. Then watching her scramble frantically to bury the whole thing up with more snow before our ride came to pick us up. Epic!
omg…..the stories here just gets better and better, i wonder what’s Davids story is?!!!
I used to work a graveyard shift at a gas station in a “drug addict” zone of town. The bathroom was off limits because you didn’t want a user shooting up in there because they always left a mess.
Well, one day I wasn’t paying close attention and one of these heroin junkies snuck in and locked herself in the bathroom. I knew what was coming but there was nothing I could do to stop it. She left about an hour later and I went in to see what kind of damage I would find.
OOOHHHH BOY!!!
First up. She had taken a dainty crap… on the floor. She didn’t even bother to aim for the seat or anything. But she also had shot up with a needle, which she politely left for me to clean up. And she also didn’t do a very good job of it because she literally shot her junkie blood all over the walls, the ceiling, the floor, and the fixtures like a Jackson Pollack painting. And somehow she managed to cram paper towels in the toilet and that was overflowing, mixing the blood, crap, and regular floor filth in to a growing puddle on the ground.
Fun, fun, fun.
After I cleaned up that mess (and got over the nightmares) I never will clean a public restroom for as long as I live. NEVER!!
Take care,
Michael
I went to the DMV in Queens and had a sensory escapade that nearly made me lose lunch. To clarify how bad it was, I have a job working with sick children that often involves them puking or shitting on me (puke in my eye at least once without warning), and that doesn’t even put me over the edge. Some idiot took care of menstrual business in the stall by smearing a sanitary napkin all over the disposal container and the floor. There was blood all over the seat. I peed by hover method (had to go bad and had had no success finding another bathroom)and exited, just knowing someone was going to blame me for that atrocity. Sure enough, someone went in there when I was just awkwardly far enough away that it would have looked like I had a guilty conscience had I called out to warn them (like across a long lobby), but they had seen me come out! Unbelievable.
okay David, you’re ready to hear this: attention, bloggers, some of this information may be disturbing.
well, I used to work at H.E.B, and one evening as I’m heading to the restroom, I happen to find the toilet full of poo. well, here are the details:
it looks like the person took a shit all over the ceiling, the wall inside the little space, the floor, and guess what else? the toilet seat was clean as crystal. I asked “what kind of monster is this, to shit all over and not inside the toilet?” thank God, I never got to clean it. we played rock-paper-scissor with our manager. Lol well, that’s all I have for now. ahahahahahah
I found a bag of mcdonalds in the toilet with poop and pee around it.Makes sense though as its the same nutritional value either way i mean thats where all mcdonalds fnally ends up right?
The most puking thing that I experienced using a public bathroom is that when I was about to pee, I saw that there are tiny pieces of yellow stuff floating in the bowl. As I see it closer to know what it is, gosh it’s a human waste! Yucks, that certain individual do not know what is good manners and right conduct and do not know that it is disgusting for others who will use the bathroom.
mine, is i was using a public restroom at a service station, opened the door to walk in to one of the cubicles, and there was human feaces everywhere, up the walls, over the toilet iteslf, the floor… you name it, somehow on the ceiling… i used to work for the UK Immigration service, and some of the thinngs i saw there were beyong grim, human body parts, feaces, blood, you name it, feels like i was in the toilet from the first saw movie