I just got into the biggest fight with my girlfriend, because I was really curious about how many guys she’s slept with. I’ve only slept with three women – I’m 29 years old. I lost my virginity at 19, and I’ve had three relationships, so I’ve never really had casual sex. I’ve been honest with my girlfriend about that. When I asked her how many guys she’s slept with, she told me about 40! I freaked out and started screaming at her. She ran out of the room crying, and now she won’t return my phone calls. What do I do?”

Here was my answer to Ryan:

Ryan (aka Mr. Double Standard),

How disgraceful are you? My God, I can’t believe how many men do this over and over again. How many men judge women based on the number of men with whom they’ve slept? Who cares!

So she’s slept with 40 people. What difference does that make? She’s not sleeping with all 40 of them right now. When you come home at night, you don’t find 40 men in your bedroom waiting to have sex with your girlfriend.

Do you think she’s promiscuous now that you know she has slept with 40 men? She was just expressing her sexuality.

It’s amazing how many men think that it’s perfectly okay for them to sleep with 40 women . . . and even congratulate themselves for it. When a woman sleeps with 40 men, though, men consider her to be a slut.

I can’t stand guys who have double standards. I don’t care at all with how many men a woman has slept. All I care about is that she enjoyed herself, and that she grew throughout her sexual journey.

It’s not the number of people you sleep with that’s important. It’s what you do with them. It’s how you evolve as a person through those relationships. It’s what you learn about yourself from them.

Some of us may sleep with hundreds of people along the way. Why people do that will vary, but the reasons really don’t matter.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter with how many people you’ve slept. You should never judge your partner based on the number of people with whom they’ve slept.

Does your partner enjoy being with you? Are they loyal to you? Do they love being with you? Do they love having sex with you? If the answer to these questions is yes, then what does it matter how many people they’ve slept with before you?

You have to accept that being their partner now means accepting everything they’ve done before they were with you. You have to respect their journey and the things they’ve done. If you can respect all that they’ve done, then you are honoring who they truly are.

The minute you judge somebody like you did, Ryan, you probably deserve to have her walk out on you. You were practicing a double standard. Remember that no one is a slut or a stud when you don’t judge.

Today’s video will help you turn off the negative thinking and really help you embrace each persons unique journey in life.

Enjoy and have a great Saturday!

What’s up with all these men who keep getting busted because they can’t keep their dick away from the yum-yum? It’s amazing.

Look at all the high-powered men from Eliot Spitzer to Bill Clinton, and even back as far as Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick. Really, what’s up with men and their endless pursuit of the blow job or the new indecent woman?

The downfall of a man is always when their hand gets caught in the yum-yum cookie jar. Just look at Eliot Spitzer. He went from being New York’s Governor to being a scumbag who will always be remembered as the guy who was a customer in a busted prostitution ring.

I mean, men need to understand something: You are special and there are PLENTY of women to meet. With the right amount of confidence, you can go out and get any woman you want . . . and you can find some really cool ones too.

The problem with a lot of these high-powered men is that they’re addicted to the rush. They’re addicted to business. They’re addicted to lifestyle. They’re addicted to money. Women are just another commodity to them, so they use women and don’t respect women.

So a lot of these guys have a lover whom they use. It’s no different from anyone else on their payroll. What these men do is use women for their own sexual favors.

The problem in this scenario is often times the women are using them too. This is where it starts to get ugly, because there’s nothing worse than having a worthless whore. So all these men who go out there in the pursuit of having their dick sucked basically have their careers thrown away as well.

Throughout history, the downfall of some very powerful men has been their choice in women. They had a wife and kids, got bored, sought a lover . . . and found someone who actually could play the “commodities” game smarter than they could.

Living in Los Angeles has allowed me to see all sorts of women. Look at the recent TV shows, “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” Good show . . . and a lot of fun to watch.

If you saw and remember the last episode, the guys were feasting over the women who were just hot instead of picking the really amazing women. Look at the women these guys chose. One of them was, according to tmz.com, an ex nude model, and the other one was actually an escort that you can get for $300 an hour. The rest of the women in the room were intelligent and interesting, but maybe not as hot as these other two.

No matter what, men will always go for eye candy. Similarly, these powerful men (male “commodities brokers”) think that because they’ve made money, that they have a right to and deserve the hottest piece of ass . . . exactly like they think they have a right to and deserve the hottest car, best plasma TV and the coolest phone. It’s no different to them.

Do all of you talk this much?

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Are they saying that women are unfriendly people as a gender? Of course not. Guys complain most often to me that when they ask women questions when they first meet them – whether it be a woman they approach for the first time or a woman with whom they are out on a first date – that women tend to be very negative in how they answer them.

For example, a guy during a first date may ask a woman about her past relationships, and she will bash her ex-boyfriend by saying something like “Oh, my ex-boyfriend was such an idiot. He cheated on me, and he was a complete jerk.” Then she will go on to tell the guy about all the stuff that her ex-boyfriend did that were bad.

Even if all of that is true, women need to understand how this is perceived by the men who are hearing it. In particular, women need to understand how it is perceived by men who are just meeting you or are just newly getting to know you.

When you speak negatively about a past relationship, a guy hearing that will think that if he gets involved with you that at some point down the road you will be bashing him to someone else. Don’t be so negative about your past experiences.

Don’t also be negative about what is going on in your life currently. Don’t talk negatively about your friends. Men don’t care about the turmoil that is going on in your life and with your friends.

Men don’t care that your friend did not show up at your other friend’s birthday party and didn’t even a send a present. The only thing a guy will notice is that they are on a first date with you and you are speaking negatively about your friend.

Men want to see you be positive on a first date. We don’t want to hear about all of that other negative stuff when we haven’t gotten to know you yet.

I can’t tell you how many times when I’ve walked up to a woman and started talking to her by asking how her day is, that she will begin her answer with some version of “My day is lousy…” Then when I ask her why, she will elaborate with a list of one negative thing after another.

Don’t be so negative. When men first meet you, they want to see the positive and cheery side of you.

Men of course understand that life is not all positive and cheery. In the beginning, though, show men your good side.

We all have a negative side. We all have things about which to complain. We all have things that don’t go our way. That’s perfectly fine, just don’t bring all of that up on a first date.

Don’t bash your friends and don’t be negative about past relationships. Be positive on a first date, because you need to think positive things in order to attract a great new relationship.

I remember a woman with whom I had a first date who illustrates this point perfectly. I asked her on that date whether she dated a lot, and she answered “no.” When I asked her why, her answer was “Because men suck.” She then proceeded for the next ten minutes to tell me all the reasons why men ’suck.’

The thing was, I didn’t want to hear about why she believes men ’suck.’ It didn’t matter. I could have said “women suck too” to try and be nice and agree with her, but they don’t. I don’t judge women as a gender based on what certain women in my past may or may not have done.

When I’m on a first date, I am open to finding out who that particular woman is and what she is all about. You should have that same attitude when you meet a new guy.

The fact is that if you’re having a bad run in life, only you can change it. So if you’re negative and you complain when you meet someone new, then you are just perpetuating that bad run and it will simply continue. So stop being negative, and start giving your future a better chance to be positive.

But this message today is for the guys. I’m taking Daphne for a walk on the beach, typing this note to you on my BlackBerry.

I couldn’t believe it when I saw it … and I really need your help. Before I ask you, though, let me back up and catch you up on what’s been going on in my life.

As many of you know, I just moved to a new place and, of course, NOTHING is working right!

No Internet.
No Cable.
No Deliveries coming to the right places.
And don’t even get me started about building management …

Suffice it to say it’s been a FRUSTRATING week. Then I saw it — and all I could say was WOW!

Roughly 10 days ago, I happened to mention that my team and I had been brainstorming ideas for my new men’s community membership site that I’ll be launching in January 2009.

Although I already knew many of you were excited about this Launch (I still am surprised how FAST and how many of you have been signing up on the List for the site), BUT when I was finally able just now to check my emails, I was STUNNED at what I found.

There were literally HUNDREDS of you who had emailed me your lists (and some of them were pretty
BIG lists) of what YOU wanted me to include on this new site. I mean, you guys were busy …

The response was truly OVERWHELMING!

There were so many emails that it actually CRASHED my BlackBerry server’s capacity for a while — so sorry to any of you whose emails were returned.

So here’s where your help comes into play.

As AMAZING as this flood of emails was to me, since I had NO idea so many of you were THIS excited about this Launch, I now have SO MANY suggestions, requests, and “wish lists” that it would take Rey and Rich (my assistants) a good MONTH to sift through all of them!

And let me assure you that this site IS going to Launch in January 2009 NO MATTER WHAT. So I need all of you to help me out now.

Whether or not you have already emailed me your suggestions and wishes for what you want to see on my new membership site, what I want you to do NOW is to think about the MOST IMPORTANT things to you that you want to see on the membership site — and specifically, what are the TOP 2 things
you would want to see.

THEN, I want YOU to click on this link and send those to me (cause I have GOT to narrow this HUGE list of suggestions down) :
http://mycommunity.davidwygant.com/WhatIWant.html

PLUS, I want to be really sure I know what is most important to you and what YOU really want to see!

Here’s your chance to be a surrogate member of my team. Sit down and ask yourself what you would
MOST like me to include, because I want this site to not just be GREAT or even FANTASTIC — I want it to be the BEST MEMBERSHIP site anywhere on the Internet (and more importantly, one that YOU will want to visit every day!)

So click on this link and get your “TOP 2″ in right away:
http://mycommunity.davidwygant.com/WhatIWant.html

Remember, I’m counting on you to give me a hand during this moving nightmare I’m living.

Oh … and I almost forgot! Since I really do appreciate this HUGE flood of interest in the Launch of this site AND your help in sending me your “Top 2,” I want to give you FREE (if you haven’t already gotten it) my audio “How To Meet Women Over The Holidays”

OK … I think Daphne’s about ready to go back in the house (and I’m maybe ready to go back in and face the next moving crisis…)

Thanks in advance and I’ll be talking to you soon.

P.S.: Ladies, make sure to check back here tomorrow — I’ll be back with more great blogs!

Let’s say the new boyfriend is meeting the group of friends for the first time. Everyone has been introduced politely, and then all of a sudden one of the friends will ask, “so how did you guys meet? Tell us the story!”

They have probably heard the story a thousand times – but they want to keep hearing it, because they want it to happen to them. They want this romance to happen to them. Women are all about this great romance.

So the woman starts this long story: “oh, I was in Borough Market waiting in line at Monmouth Coffee Company like I do every single Saturday. All of a sudden this cute guy and I ordered a latte at the very same time. I looked at him and he said to me, ‘jinx!’ I laughed, and then we both got our coffees and…”

It’s a story that they tell a million times. “Oh my god, I was in the market buying my usual tea, and I dropped the box. This guy picked it up for me and told me I was a klutz, and he hasn’t stopped calling me that since!”

It’s about the story. They want to have that story to tell their friends all the time.

So when you meet them out and about, be ready to tell that story. You will be a legend. If you meet her in line at Monmouth Coffee Company, she will text her friends all day long: “you won’t believe what happened to me at the market today! I met this guy…” and the story begins.

For women, a romance starts from the second that you meet. I went out with someone the other night and she can remember exactly where we met. She remembers where we met, what day it was, what was going on around town that day, everything. Women remember details like that.

We don’t remember shit: “I don’t know, we just kind of met.” But you have to remember that you are creating this romantic moment for her right from the start.

Its all about creating an emotion when you first meet a woman. The way you walk, the way you talk and the first words that come out of your mouth is what she always remember.
But the key here is not what you say its how you say it!!

I go over how to turn her on instantly with your words in my mens mastery series. Click here so you can become that man.

I used to do this when I lived in Manhattan. I would wake up at 10:30, take a shower, and then decide which direction I was going to go that day. I’d go left, I’d go right, or I’d go straight.

My goal was to meet as many new people as I could that day – to build up my social network, so then I would be able to go and meet some great women.

So your goal tomorrow is to meet 20 new people. Take a notebook with you, and after you meet someone new, I want you to write down exactly what you remember about him or her. “I met this woman on the beach, and she got her little booties all wet, blah blah blah.”

Write down something personal that you remember about them, so that the next time you run into them again, you can go back and say, “hey, Wet Boot Girl, how are you?” “Hey Sand Castle Girl, what’s up?”

You have 20 people you have to meet and then write it down. You’re going to do this every single Sunday by yourself. Blow off your friends and take yourself out to places like Whole Foods, the malls, the beach, whatever.

Meet men, women, children – everyone. If you do this four Sundays in a row – wait, it is football season, do it on Saturday! If you do this four Saturdays in a row, you’ve just met 80 new people.

Do you think out of 80 people you might be able to find one woman that you want to go out with?

And during the course of those four Saturdays, you’re going to be running into these same people again, and then you’ll get to meet the people they have with them. It’s like adding fingers to your network.

In LA, maybe we can get together small little groups and just go up to Silver Lake for the day and hang out. We can just go up there and meet people in Silver Lake.

This is how you build your network up, and get exactly what you want to get out of it without the crappy part of actually having to go and pick them up. When you go out and talk to people all day long, your brain is stimulated and you don’t think about the fear.

So if you do this every Saturday, by the end of the month you will have met 80 new people.

Women will send an email to a guy whom she’s dating – or it can even be to a male co-worker – asking a question that makes her feel vulnerable. The guy may not respond right away.

When a guy doesn’t respond to her email right away, a woman will start thinking and obsessing about it. She’ll wonder “Why hasn’t he responded? How come he didn’t respond? I don’t understand why he didn’t respond.” Then she might even lob another email to the guy saying “I don’t understand why you didn’t respond to that last email” or “Why haven’t you responded to my email?”

As the woman is going through all this thinking, analysis and sending out of that follow-up email, the truth is that many times the only reason the guy didn’t respond to that email is because he was doing something else. It’s not he didn’t want to respond to the woman’s email, it was just that he was busy doing something else.

As a woman, you’re very emotional and you react very emotionally to things. What you have to understand is that if we don’t respond to you on the very same day, it’s not because we’re callous and it’s not that we are being mean. It’s just that we may have been doing something else.

I give the same advice to men. When I give this advice to women, I always tell them to stop getting their panties in a knot and give us men the opportunity to respond to you.

Life is about being patient. Life is not about analyzing every little thing.

You don’t want to analyze very little thing until you beat it up. You want to be able to really process things over a period of time, because what things appear like right now are very often not at all what they’re really about.

So the next time you send a guy an email and he doesn’t respond within the time period you think he should, you need to exercise some patience and not immediately over think and overreact to the situation. Just chill out, relax and allow him the opportunity to send you a response.

So ladies, don’t get your panties in a knot … because, really, there can’t be too many things more uncomfortable than walking around with panties in a knot. I can only imagine what that would feel like, especially if you’re wearing certain kinds of those little g-strings.

Todays video is from a recent interview I did with the local news. I had to breakdown the body language of the first presidential debate.

Tell me who you think has more powerful body language.

http://www.armada-partners.com/DWPres08.html

I will be here for one week so if anyone wants to do some private coaching next week email me and we can set it up!

I was thinking about something on the plane that I wanted to share with all of you.
There is a certain exercise that I have all of the men and women I coach do. It’s in both my Men’s and Women’s Mastery Series.

It is: what image do you outwardly project to the world? What do other people think of you?

Ask five people what they think about you. What type of energy do you convey? What type of confidence do you convey? What do you look like? How do you dress? Ask five people all of these things.

I have a client named Rob who is a great guy. Rob took a bootcamp with me recently, and the other night we were out to dinner having a long talk. He’s a great-looking guy, he’s got a great image, he has lots of confidence – but it’s all an optical illusion.

He projects these things to everyone who sees him but deep inside he doesn’t really believe it. This is his fundamental issue. He doesn’t believe that he’s good-looking. Rob is 5’7”, but if you sat with him at a table you’d think he was 6’2”. He has this incredibly large persona.

But the problem is that he just doesn’t believe it. Everyone sees it except for him.

Rob is what I call an optical illusion. This is why many men (and women) come to me for coaching – what I can do with them is really work on the inside. It’s great that you’re able to exude these qualities, but if you don’t actually believe it, other people won’t either.

When you first glance at Rob, you believe it. When you hear him talk, you still believe it. But if Rob doesn’t believe it himself, he will never be able to go up to a woman – even though she’s feeling the heat and the energy – and close her. He won’t be able to get her phone number and go out with her.

Rob needs to believe it. And those of you who can relate to Rob – those of you who live in a life of optical illusions – you need to do something to make yourself believe it.

Rob was telling me about some of his friends who are fascinated by what Rob did at the bootcamp. They desperately want to do the same thing but they are terrified. They keep making excuses – about the money. “Oh, it’s $2495, there is no way we could do that,” they say, yet both of these guys are going to grad school. They’re trying to get advanced degrees so they can get a better job and make more money.

They are willing to invest in a degree that will help them to become more successful and make more money in the business world, but they are not willing to invest in themselves!

That’s what you need to do. If you are an optical illusion, you need to invest your time and money in personal development. You need to invest in YOU. You are your own corporation, and you need to invest in yourself.

This is not a sales letter for one of my bootcamps – either you’re going to do it or you won’t. But that’s the thing about life: what are you waiting for to change yourself?

If everyone thinks that you are confident on the outside and you don’t feel it on the inside – if you are an optical illusion – guess what? Your life is never going to change unless you start doing internal work.

So here is a suggestion – and a challenge – I have for all of you: I want you to go out there and find out if you are an optical illusion. I want you to ask five friends what they think of you.

What type of image do you project? What type of confidence do you convey?

I want you to go out there and do this today. And I want you to find out if you are an optical illusion. If you are, we really need to get you started doing some inner work on your brain. It won’t change by itself. If it could, you already would have been able to self-motivate and make it happen.

Consider this the first step – the first kick in the ass – to getting rid of that optical illusion that you may be conveying to the world.

Do you know that a LOT of men have trouble approaching women? A lot of men suffer from a disease they call “approach anxiety” (although I call it “self-inflicted torture!”)

In my more than ten years of coaching men, virtually every one of them seek my help in learning to conquer approach anxiety. You should see what happens over and over again at the beginning of every one of my men’s bootcamps.

A guy will see a woman he’s attracted to and point her out to me. I’ll tell him to immediately go over and talk to her. What does he do? He’ll stand there like he’s wearing concrete shoes . . . and do nothing. He’ll hesitate.

By the time he finally decides to walk over to the woman, she’s usually made a sudden right instead of a left and has disappeared. He lost his opportunity to approach her.

See, you’ve got to understand that in some ways men and women are built the same. Having a fear of approaching the opposite sex is one of those ways. Many men have a lot of trouble approaching women, and many times women are very unapproachable.

So the next time you see a guy looking at you whom absolutely makes your heart go “thump thump,” I can guarantee you that he is attracted to you as well and that his heart is also going “thump thump.” Stop wondering in this situation if a man is attracted to you.

With that doubt eliminated, you need to put yourself out there just a little bit. Help guys out a little! It’s very important to give guys a couple of signs so they know you’re interested.

Women almost always sit back and wait for guys to do all the approaching. Women spend a lot of time hoping men will approach and waiting to see if men they’re attracted to will approach them. The problem with this is that when you’re a “waiter” in life, you never get what you want.

So the next time you see a really attractive man, smile at him – not once, but twice. When you smile at a man twice, he might actually take the hint and get up the guts to talk to you.

You need to understand the mindset of a man when you’re thinking about this . . . and the mindset of a man in this situation is terrified. As he quakes in his pants, he freaks out about being unable to approach you and feels like he doesn’t know the right thing to say even if he did.

If you were able to be a fly on the wall and listen to what men say during each one of my bootcamps, you would absolutely be amazed at what you’d hear. If you could do this, you would understand that men sit around all the time and wonder what the most clever thing is to talk to you about when they approach you.

The fact is most men still don’t realize that they can just walk over and say “hello” to a woman to strike up a conversation. So the next time you see a guy that you’re attracted to, make it a little easier for him and see what happens!