Dating Tips and Dating Advice by David Wygant » vh1

Stop Listening To Your Friends

David Wygant — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:20:02 +0000

Todays blog is for the women of my world. I am giving you some love and advice on this 100 degree day in October.

Those Santa Ana winds keep blowing in and cooking the world of DW!

Todays video is my thoughts on VH1 The Pickup Artist show with Mystery.

Women of all ages seem to have an unstoppable need to gather and heed their friends’ advice when it comes to dating – particularly when it comes to “analyzing” how well dates go (or don’t go as the case may be). Let me tell you – this practice is NOT helping you in your dating life.

It’s time to stop listening to your friends. You get to a point in your life as a woman when you’ve got to start listening to yourself. That time is right now!

Women always talk about their “women’s intuition” and how great it is at just knowing what is really going on in any situation. If that’s the case, though, why does every woman seem compelled to go to her friends with a blow-by-blow description of their dates seeking her friends’ opinions?

Start listening to yourself. Start trusting yourself a little bit!

Your friends were not on that date with you last night. They can’t break it down.

Remember that great Sex And The City episode that spawned that really bad book “He’s Just Not That Into You” (which has now spawned a movie of the same title)? Just like the scene in that episode, a lot of women will get together to do what I call a “post-date recap.”

Now, granted, a lot of guys will do a “post-date recap” with their friends as well. They’ll talk about the moment they talked about their crazy uncle and will worry about the fact that he brought that up and whether the fact that he did ruined the date. Just like the women, his friends will break down the date and agree with him.

Friends are meant to agree with you. Think about this. If you walk around a room telling your friends that there are no good men to meet, your friends will say “absolutely” and agree with you because they’re your friends and you think alike.

When it comes to dating, you’ve got to start relying on your friends less and trusting yourself more. You’ve got to trust your own experiences. You need to trust your heart.

You need to trust your own intuition, because your friends are never going to be there on that date with you. They’re never going to see the man’s facial expressions and body language.

Not only that, but the “post-date recap” hell will drive you crazy. There is nothing you can do in terms of breaking down that date that will give you all the answers you want to know. If a guy doesn’t call you after a date, then in that situation I agree with that book that he’s just not that into you – plain and simple. It’s no different than when you don’t call a guy back – it means that you are not into him.

So you can post-date recap with your friends all you want, but you’ve got to stop listening to your friends as far as what you take away from that date. You need to start accepting things as they come, because sometimes in life things just don’t work out with men you meet . . . for whatever reason.

The thing about dating that drives everyone crazy – both men and women – is that it doesn’t work out most of the time. It’s no big deal . . . and you need to start understanding and believing that it’s no big deal.

Just the other week I went on a date with a very sexy redhead with whom I was interested in going on a second date. I sent her a very cute email the very next day after our first date, and she never emailed me back.

What did I do? I didn’t sit there torturing the people I work with trying to figure out why she didn’t reply to my email. I didn’t call my friends and go through a long play-by-play post-date recap trying to figure out if I said something wrong. I just let it be, because the situation is what it is – it doesn’t matter why she didn’t email me back..

Sometimes there just isn’t a deeper meaning to why things don’t go well on a date. Women are always looking for that deeper meaning in things, and sometimes there just isn’t one.

Sometimes you’ve just got to let it go. So stop trying to break down every date, stop listening to your friends, let it go and move on to someone else.

This is the same advice I give men – and I give it for the same reason. If you don’t let these things go, what happens is that you spend all your time thinking about someone who doesn’t want you while you miss all the opportunities that are out there to meet people who DO want you.

Todays video is my video reaction to Mysterys VH1 Pickup Artist show.

Pick Up Artists Why Its So Wrong-Plus Free Podcast

David Wygant — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:17:09 +0000

So it’s been a while since I made fun of the PUA community – I’ve been really on really good behavior lately. Some of you reading the blog really hate when I make fun of the PUA community, because you defend it by saying that it’s really good for certain things.

And do you know what? I do believe that it is good for certain things. I believe that you can learn a foundation from some of the pick-up artists; I believe that some of the pick-up routines are actually great crutches – great ways for you to start learning how to communicate with women.

Hell, if you need a script to talk to a woman – that’s the only way you can start doing it – that’s great. But then all of a sudden you realize that you don’t really need the script anymore and you have become more confident, and you’re done. There’s a starting point for everybody.

But I still can’t stand the nicknames!

There is this one company out there who has a coach that they call “Natural.” His name is Natural something – I’m not going to mention his name because I don’t want to give them any press. I don’t want to give them any traffic from the site or anything. Instead of just calling him by his real name, his nickname is “Natural ______.” I’m not making this stuff up. He’s got videos on YouTube where he says, “hey everybody, this is Natural ______!”

If you’re so natural, then why are you calling yourself “Natural _____?” Why do you need to have a silly, stupid nickname?

Do you go up to women and say, “hello, my name is Natural _____, what’s your name?” “My name is Post-Menopause Jane!” “Really, well good to meet you, Post-Menopause Jane!” Why don’t we all walk around with names like this?

Tony back there should call himself “Copywriter Tony” or “Sales Copy Tony.” Rey can call himself “Surfer Rey” because he likes to surf. Khiem can say, “you know, I may be from Vietnam, but I’m really French, so you can call me French Vietnamese Khiem.”

Daphne doesn’t ever bark, so she could be “Barkless Daphne.” I could be… well I just would like to call myself my own name! How about “Grandpa Wygant” as they all call me, because I’m older than them.

Or the other day, I was on American Airlines and I met the pilot, whose name was Tom. But I could have called him “Pilot Tom.” “Hey Pilot Tom, how are you doing today?” Or the girl that served me coffee at Starbucks the other day, I should have called her “Starbucks Amy” – well I probably would have done that, because it’s a nickname and she was cute.

But I still don’t understand why these pick-up guys call themselves natural but they still have made-up names. Why do they have to make up their names? Why can’t they stand behind who they are as men – why do they have to make up such silly nicknames all of the time?

Now I’ve been told by some of them that the reason why they make up nicknames is that when they meet a woman, they don’t want her to know what they do for a living. You know what? I’m proud of what I do. When I meet a woman, I tell her exactly what I do: “I teach men how to be men and I teach women how to attract the man that they want.”

I’m proud of that. I’m proud of the work that I do, I’m proud of my clients, and I’m proud of my life. But why are these people hiding? They don’t want women to know that they are actually being manipulated through sleazy pick-up techniques? They don’t want women to know that they are “The Phantom?” Or “Natural Joe,” or whatever the stupid nickname might be?

Once again, this is an open letter to the PUA community: grow up! Start calling yourselves by who you are, and brand yourself. I am so sick of all of the nicknames. It’s just so silly. You’re just a bunch of boys running around.

Why don’t you come to one of my bootcamps and learn how to become a real man?!?

Todays free podcast is all about how to be that man. No pick up lines knicknames or any other crutch.

In this interview I go over how to follow up after you meet a woman.

Enjoy and have a great Thursday.

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