It’s so interesting how when you’re first dating someone, there seems to be this urgency to have sex. The two of you can’t sit on the sofa long enough to even finish watching an entire television show. Every time you start a movie, you never get past the first half hour because you just can’t wait to get at each other.

When you’re in a relationship, the problem is that you begin to spend a lot more time on the sofa — time that you really should be spending having sex. What you’ve got to realize is that when it comes down to it, the reason you are in this relationship in the first place is because you two had that incredible urgency and “can’t keep our hands off each other” feeling.

This feeling is something you need to keep in your relationship with your lover. Otherwise, you’re just going to get bored and your sex life will become very routine.

I find that this happens to so many people. A lot of people, for example, will get into a routine of watching television then going to bed and having sex . . . always around the same time. They only have sex at the end of the night when they’ve gone through their “routine.”

So you’ve got to start remembering what it was like to have urgent sex, the kind you had at the beginning of your relationship. You need to incorporate some urgent sex into your routine.

Every night need not be exactly the same. You need to mix it up a bit.

One night maybe you watch a movie. Then another night have urgent sex. Another night, watch some television. Another night have a long conversation about your lives and then make love after connecting.

It doesn’t matter what you decide to do and when. The key is to avoid that routine. The key is to avoid the routine of flipping on the television every night, because the television is the worst thing in the world for your sex life.

When you’re just laying on the sofa watching television, you’re not connecting with each other. You may be sitting next to each other, but you’re not connecting with each other.

So you need to take a good look at your sex life and see what’s happening with it. Are you already in a routine? Are you having sex at the same time every night after watching television?

You need to mix it up a little bit. Every week needs to be different.

Also, one or two nights a week you need to just turn the television off altogether. You need to get into a really deep, connecting session with your lover where you learn more about how to touch each other in different ways.

Otherwise, you are going to be doing it the same way every single time. When that happens, after a while you will both inevitably get bored.

So remember that incredible sexual urgency that you had in the beginning. That is what made the two of you come together in the first place. You came together because you were hungry for each other.

Don’t lose that hunger for each other. Keep that hunger going. Make sure you take that sexual urgency back with you partner, because that’s what’s usually missing in a relationship.
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How do you like somebody that you’ve never spoken to before? That’s the most ridiculous concept in the entire world, and it’s something that everybody needs to get over. You like somebody? You like the way they look – let’s break it down into what it really is.

You see someone that is physically appealing to you, so you look at them from across the room and the first thing that triggers in your mind – the only thing that should trigger in your mind – is that you like the way they look. That’s it.

You don’t like them; you don’t even know what they’re about. The woman or man that you’re looking at could have a big huge piece of broccoli between their teeth, a booger hanging out of their nose, or breath that would absolutely rival your dog’s on his worst day.

But yet you’ve built them up as this incredible fantasy before you even talk to them. You build them up as something – maybe they are the person that is going to rescue you from your single hell. You hope that this is the last person that you ever need to talk to again, because you are just so sick and tired of being single.

But the bottom line is that the stranger that you’re looking at – is just that: a stranger, the physical image of who they are. It might as well be just a photograph. If you start manufacturing this entire fantasy about who they are, you’re not even notice anything about what they might be doing.

You’re not noticing what they are doing, you’re not noticing their body language, and you’re not noticing any emotions that may be on their face. You’re noticing absolutely nothing. Nothing. Because you’re lost in fantasyland, in la la land, and you’re creating this whole fantasy.

So now everybody in fantasyland starts thinking about what to say. What do I say to this incredible person that I like and want to meet so badly? You don’t like them! You like the way they look!

So what you need to do is realize that until you speak to a person, you have no idea what they are about. If you think about it – 90% of people that you spoke to in your life you had no chemistry with. That’s right – nine out of ten people that you don’t really have much chemistry with. And that’s fine – at least you went over there and talked to them.

The only way to figure out if you like them is to go over and talk to them. Talk to them like they are a person – which is exactly what they are. Don’t treat them any differently, talk to them exactly how they are.

Last night, we were in a bar and we were all out. I looked at my client and I said to him, “there’s a woman, why don’t you just go walk over and talk to her?” “Now?” he asked, and I responded, “no, why don’t you wait until you get hammered and shitfaced drunk? And then, when she’s sitting down at a table, you can beat yourself up because you didn’t go talk to her all night long.”

“Yes, NOW!” “But she’s cute!” he said, and I responded, “it doesn’t matter! Walk the hell over there and find out what she’s all about!” And he did, and they talked for 20 minutes and had a great conversation. Do you know what he found out? That she was a nice woman.

That’s what you need to do. If you see someone that you are attracted to, you don’t like them. You just like the way that they look. They are physically appealing to your eyes, and that’s about it.

So your mindset needs to be whatever it might be to get you to walk over there. You can use any type of mindset tricks. You can think to yourself, man, I’m going to go over there and talk to that person and see if they have as bad of breath as I think they do. Anything to get you laughing and smiling.

All you guys know the women masturbation fantasy, and if you haven’t heard about it, I go into unbelievable detail in the Mastery Series, where I give you an exercise to picture a woman full-blown masturbating about you – then you’ll have that devilish little smile when you approach her.

For all the women – you know exactly what I’m talking about – I give you the Scooby Doo fantasy – because men are just drippers and droolers and giant Scooby Doos – all of that is in my Women’s Mastery Series.

I don’t want to get into those visuals right now – if you haven’t purchased the Mastery Series, I suggest that you do. At this point, it will really teach you how to understand the mindset of the opposite sex.

But let’s go further into this right now: you don’t know this person yet. Walk the hell over there and talk to them. Start a conversation, as I always talk about, based on observations and everything else.

You know what? You might find out that this dream person is actually the worst nightmare in the entire world. She might be whipping out pictures of her mother and her father and her three illegitimate children running around the hills of western Kentucky.

You don’t know what the hell she’s all about. So go talk to her, and stay out of fantasyland – stay in reality.

Lets go even deeper into attraction today.