And yet, yesterday I heard one of the biggest lies people tell…

Are you ready for the biggest lie?

Here it is: “You’re never going to find one this clean.”

When people are selling their cars they get some emotional attachment to the vehicle.  They think their vehicle is the best vehicle in the entire world even though they know their vehicle needs repairs.

“It’s the best out there…you’ll just needs brakes, and many other things…

…but you’ll never find one this clean.”

It’s funny because I actually looked at somebody’s car the other day.  It was cool, but not completely right for me.

Then the man turned, looked at me intensely and said, “You know, you’ll never find another one this clean.”

So I looked at him and I smiled and then started laughing.

He asked me ‘what’s so funny?’

I said, “Really. Really, you think I’ll never find one this clean? This is the only clean car that’s out there of the 26 million people that live in California—you have the cleanest car? Let’s take a look at this really clean car…”

So I walked around and I saw a couple of scuffs on the rim pointed them out.  I went in and opened the hood, checked out the engine, and made sure he saw all the grease in there.

“I don’t know, that doesn’t seem that clean…”

I walked around, found a good-sized door ding, and then a couple of paint chips.

“Come on man.  I can see that you took care of the care, but if you want to tell me that I’ll never find one this clean, well…the only clean cars are the brand new ones.  Those are clean.  Those are awesome.  Those are super, super clean.  This one? Not so much.”

So it’s time that you stop using those.  Yes, there are a million cars out there.  Yes, there are a lot of them that are super clean.  But it’s time that you stop using these little lies.  Nothing’s prefect, everything has a scratch.

I’ve been redecorating my new place.  Been finding a lot of stuff off on Craigslist, which is a lot of fun.

Now, furniture people are different.

When you ask them about an antique, you’ll probably ask them to tell you about the scuffs and scratches. They’ll go right ahead and show you. There’s really complete honesty.

Car sellers—and this is interesting—lie like crazy. And it’s funny because people hate going to buy cars from a dealer because they think the dealer is lying to them, but in reality the owner’s lying, the seller’s lying—they’re all lying.

That’s the reason why people hate buying a car so much because everybody walks around thinking that they’ve got the time machine from Back to the Future or something—some special car that I’m never going to find anywhere.

So it’s time we took extreme honesty month to another level.

In your negotiations that you’ve had with people, have you ever just wanted to ask them, “Are you kidding me?”

Have you ever wanted to call someone out for some ridiculous statement or generalization?

Now is the time.

It’s the last week of extreme honesty month—lets be more honest than we’ve ever been before.

You’re never going to find another opportunity like this one.

I’ve been wondering: why did I not do this my entire life?!

Why do we dance around certain topics?

Why are we so afraid to really say the truth?

It’s amazing, when you’re 100% truthful and honest with people, they think you’re actually defending yourself, justifying things, or selling yourself.

It’s really amusing in a lot of ways.

I wanted to hang out with a friend the other night.  They couldn’t make it.

I said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll sweeten the deal next time.”

She said, “What are you selling?”

I was like, “I’m not selling anything!  I like to sweeten the deals.  I enjoy doing things for people.  I enjoy hanging out with people, eating a good meal, whatever it might be.”

It was fun.

So instead, I had a client come over last night. He stayed late, and I looked at him and he seemed run down in so many ways.  He just didn’t have the zest, the pop, the energy that he always had.

And it’s because of his relationship.

So I looked him straight in his eyes and I said, “You need to end this for your health.” I went through a long synopsis of what I saw about him and how I was concerned. I gave it to him straight.

He kept saying that he hoped that his wife would change.

I told him that people don’t change. The only person that you can change is yourself. No one is going to change for us.

No relationship is going to miraculously get better.  No person is going to suddenly start to understand you.

We spend years hoping that people change. And they don’t.

Usually I would allow a client to engage me in the change conversation.  He would then tell me all the ways that his wife should change and can change and then I would listen to that and basically agree or rationalize with him, and say, “You know you’re right, give it another shot.”

But I felt like he was wasting time. I looked at him from a health point of view and I saw how stressed out he was—it wasn’t good. I told him that he needed to be honest with himself and make a decision, even if tough.

We’ll see how that goes.

Yesterday, I had a guy come to see a car that I’m selling for a friend.  He offered a ridiculously low number—$2,000 less than the asking price, and the care was already priced really well.

He then went into a whole sob story about his daughter’s birthday and how he needed to spend $500 on his daughter’s birthday, otherwise he’d be in trouble with his ex-wife.

I listened to him. I did.

And then I looked at him and said, “I don’t care. I’m not paying for your daughter’s birthday.  My friend deserves the money for his car. That’s fair to him, right?”

“All I’ve got is $14,000.”

“You shouldn’t have come over with just $14,000, you should have brought $16,000.”

I then paused for effect.

“Your final offer is 14? My friends wants 16. But I’ll tell you what: I’ll meet you halfway, plus 10%, for a final total of $14,800. My friend would be okay with that offer.”

“No, I can only do 14 because of my daughter’s birthday party.”

“Well, then go find another car.  Time is money.  You can run all around town, looking at different cars to try and hopefully find one that’s priced this low with this much work done, or you can spend the money because I know you have it.  Nobody just has 14.”

He just looked at me, hopeful.

“I hope your daughter enjoys her party.  But it’s not my friend’s job to pay for it. See ya.”

Later that day, he texted me:

All I’ve got is 14. Are you sure?

I sent him the same text back:

The number doesn’t change.  Good luck.  

And it felt good.

It feels so good to look at people and call them out.

It feels good to tell people exactly how you feel and not worry about being in your head.

And it’s fun to watch everyone’s reaction.

Is everybody rolling along and being honest?

I’m having a great time with this extreme honesty month.  It’s been a lot of fun.

Last Sunday I was in the parking lot of the farmers’ market with a client of mine. As I was leaving, a guy in a black Saab cuts me off and flies into a parking space.

Being the New Yorker that I am, I of course raised my fist in the air. (I don’t know what that means—raising the fist in the air—you think to yourself, “Wow, I’m raising my fist in the air.  It means that I’m going to do what, exactly?”)

So black Saab guy jumps out and he says, “What are you doing man? You’re so aggressive with your car!”

I said, “What are you talking about?  Your girlfriend is a raving maniac and she flew into the spot.”

All of a sudden I looked at him and I listening to his voice carefully.  He was angry and pissed off. He had an accent. His girlfriend also jumped out of the car, angry.

I said, “Hey, you from New York?”

“Brooklyn.”

“No kidding man, my brother and I have got a business in Brooklyn.”

And just like that, we bonded.  His girlfriend, formerly feisty, was now bubbly and talkative.

I said to the guy, “She’s feisty, huh? That’s good. I like it.”

She said, “Yeah I’m a Jersey girl.”

“I love Jersey girls. I love hot-tempered women.  You’ve got to admit: most of the people in L.A., they’re probably stoned—they’ll let you cut them off and stuff like that.  You drove aggressive like I do. Good for you.”

We talked for 10 minutes and had a really good conversation.

I realized at that moment, that all the times I used to get really angry at people, pissed off, not doing a thing, not saying anything, I could have turned it around and had a great conversation like I did.

And I did it based on a commonality.  It felt really good to just say, “Hey, I’m an aggressive driver like that too. You just happened to cut me off before I probably would have cut you off.”

I admitted that to them.  They laughed, we laughed.

I realized that being really honest feels great on every level.

It’s not just talking to your boss.  It’s not just talking to your significant other.  It’s just letting it all out in all ways, shapes, and forms.

Every day this month I’ve had an episode like that.

Hell, somebody called me a douchebag in an e-mail.

I e-mailed back and said, “Thank you. At least I created an emotion in you.  I’m glad that I was the douchebag that made you write back.”

That’s exactly how I felt.

. . .

How are you guys doing with this?  

Are you really being honest?  

Comments have been good on the blog, but what changes are you guys doing in your life and what do you see?

Are you seeing changes in your life?  

Are you seeing new ways to look at things?

And after reading some of your comments, I want to reiterate that with extreme honesty it is all about being in a place of love.

But if someone pisses you off it’s also about telling them how you feel.

On that note, let me tell you about my day yesterday:

So, I’m selling my car. (I know, after all the fuss about me buying a car, I’m selling it. What can I say—I get bored.)

This guy sees my ad and emails me something like this:

I checked out the wholesale value of your car and it’s worth $xxx. I will give you a couple grand over that.

Meanwhile, ‘a couple grand over’ what he was offering was still about $4,000 less than what I was asking. And I’m already selling the car cheap—much cheaper than anybody else for a similar model.

I want to sell it fast.

So I wrote him back and said:

Look, I don’t need your money. You can go and low-ball people all day long and maybe after a year you can finally find the car that you want, but you see, I value my time.

Then he wrote:

So somebody offered you more?

And I said:

It’s not about that. I just don’t have time to deal with your delusional thoughts about getting this car from me at that price. Good luck!

And it felt good. It was honest, it was real and it was raw. And it’s something I want all of you to practice.

Later, I ended up going to see my therapist.

That’s right, David Wygant is seeing a therapist now.

I’m going to through some personal things and I really love and enjoy talking to others about it. We all have issues in life, sticking points, blockages—and just like you come to me for advice, I like to go to others for advice also.

I had a great session.

When I walked out of the office, I saw a guy sitting there waiting for his session. He looked down at the ground and hid his face behind his hand.

It’s funny how when you leave a therapist office, the people sitting in the waiting room don’t acknowledge you. But you are two people who have something in common: you are two people that are working to get things in your life straightened out. You’re both two people focused on growth.

Yet he was hiding his face down in shame.

People are funny.

A guy e-mailed me the other day saying that he wants to come to my boot camp. And then he wrote:

I really want to go to your boot camp, I’m really looking forward to it, you know. But I have to ask you a question: what am I going to tell my friends I did that weekend?

Tell them you went to a boot camp to improve yourself, dude.

We’re so afraid to be honest. We’re so afraid to be naked.

And that’s why we all need to join in on Extreme Honesty Month.

Let us set some examples.

Let’s get real.

This is going to be a fun, fun month.

It is the month of May, and I also declare it Extreme Honesty Month.

You’re all going to participate, hopefully.

We’re all going to participate in extreme honesty month.

Here is what it is all about:

For the next 31 days and 31 nights, you’re going to be extremely honest with everybody you come into contact with.

You’re no longer going to worry about what to say. You’re not going to be stuck inside your head. You’re going to speak your mind—no filter.

You’re also going to realize that the world is going to respond to you in an entirely different way. They’re going to respond to you in ways that you never have before.

For the next 31 days, you’re going to be fully authentic, real, and loving. You’re going to live your life every single day full of love—remember that. The two virtues necessary to be an honest person, are courage and love.

It takes courage to be completely you and say what you really feel. It also takes love to be able to do it without being a dick.

I don’t want you to attack people. Tell people how you feel but do it from a place of love. Don’t call people out from a place of anger or resentment—that will make this month very difficult for you. Be honest from a place of love.

You can come from a loving place, and explain why you’re hurt, why you’re sad, why you’re angry, why you’re upset. You’re more likely to honestly express yourself if you can control your emotions while you do it. Coming from genuine, positive emotions like respect, courage, and love will give you greater control.

This will be your most challenging and empowering month ever.

But imagine being able to walk up to a woman who you think is absolutely beautiful, and actually say it because you mean it, not because you want something from her.

Imagine being able to walk into your boss’ office, and explain to them why things are not working out for you at work, and your ideas on how things can be better so the work environment can be a more powerful, creative environment for everybody to flourish.

Imagine being able to tell your parents things you’ve always wanted to say. Imagine having a sit down with your best friend, who has been real selfish with your time and explaining how you feel.

Imagine being able to say all the things that have been dominating your thoughts for the longest time. Imagine being able to let them out and discuss them, so you can live a free, clear life.

That is what it is all about.

Extreme honesty month, it is time for all of you to join in.

I will be blogging (and tweeting #extremehonestymonth) every single day, sometimes more than once.

I will post videos.

I will post podcasts.

It is all going to be about being real, and I’m going to share with you what’s going on in my life, some of the conflicts, and some of the things I’m working on. Sharing with you is going to help me become more honest, and more real, and more open about my personal life.

I look forward to every day of this month, I hope you do too.

. . .

And if you want to officially join me for a month of total honesty, and you want to do it in a very public way, click to tweet the following:

I am celebrating extreme honesty month. I vow to speak nothing but the whole truth for the next 31 days. Join me. – Click to Tweet.

I think a great topic that everyone should be talking about this weekend.

The weather is getting cold outside and it is time to start warming up the fires inside.

So how do we warm up the fires that lurk deep inside every woman.

Glad you asked.

Today I am in a pre holiday mood and I have a special video just for all my readers.

Today I am going to share with you the secrets on how to make her sizzle with passion and desire for you.

Not only that I am going to show you how to do this the second you meet her.

Enjoy today’s video.

Are you ready to learn the truth behind her orgasms and what really makes her hot for you. Click here to find out, your going to be even more shocked.

Everyone I know suffers from a very curable disease called To Good To Be True Syndrome!

You will not find the cure while watching TV.

You will not find the cure in any magazine.

Your friends are powerless to help you.

Your parents have no clue but they are the first people who actually transmitted this powerful disease to you.

Are you intrigued?

If so, click and listen this podcast, it is a must for all men and women who read this blog.

One last thing be a good friend and pass this onto anyone you care about!

To Download Today’s Podcast Click Here!

We’ve talked a lot in the blog about the truth — the importance of telling the truth and being honest with all the people in your life. There is one facet of the truth, though, that I think we need to go into more deeply today.

Today we are going to talk about being truthful with yourself. You are the person with whom you need to be the most honest. So, how honest are you with yourself?

Right now, I want you to write this down on a piece of paper: “Where I’m at in my life right now is . . . ” Then I want you to fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth.

Then write down this down: “Where I want to be in my life right now is . . .” Then fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth once again.

Look at what you wrote down. What is preventing you, honestly, from getting to the next level?

Are you one of those people who want to meet more women (or men), but you just can’t do it? You read about it and you talk about it. You go out and you try doing it for maybe ten minutes. Then you wait three weeks before you try doing it again. You’ll never get good doing it that way.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers: The Story Of Success. In that book, he says that people who are experts at something became an expert by spending many hours doing it over and over again. There are no naturals at anything. Some people find it really easy to do things once they practice, while others need to push themselves harder.

So the question you need to ask yourself is: How honest are you with yourself? Are you someone who is thinking of getting coaching but puts it off and makes excuses that you can do it on your own, but you can’t do it on your own?

How honest are you with yourself about your life right now? You’ll never get where you want to be in your life without being honest with yourself.

If you lack the self-motivation to learn how to meet the opposite sex, seek help. Set up a calendar of things to do every single day that push you. Get honest with yourself, because if you’re not then you will never achieve your goals.

Want to have Me and my coaches on your email “speed dial” answering all your dating questions? CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman to find out how.

It all started when we were first dating and made the “just the tip” promise. It continued into our 20s when we said we were only coming up for coffee.

We lie all the time . . . or do we?

To find out more, you will need to listen to today’s podcast.

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me blog.

Click here to listen now:

Click Here To Download The Podcast!

There is another guy I know who doesn’t hold ANYTHING back when it comes to telling the truth about sex and really big orgasms. Hear what he has to say about all this (and a few more of my thoughts on these topics as well!) by CLICKING HERE.

Have you ever been in a relationship, and you just knew something you were doing – whether on a conscious or subconscious level – was not the right thing but you did it anyway? I am not talking about cheating (because I think cheating is 100% wrong).

I am talking about other things. I am talking about getting in touch with a friend and talking about your personal business with other people (or whatever it might be). Then, when confronted with it, you lie right to someone’s face about it.

Do you realize that whenever you tell a lie in life, you will get caught? You will always get caught in lies.

I learned something a long time ago: It is hard to keep a lie straight, but it is easy to keep the truth straight. It is easy to keep the truth straight because you don’t have to remember stories.

You never have to remember alibis. You never have to remember anything.

When you tell the truth, there is nothing to remember but the truth. The real truth, along with the real feelings and the real emotions behind it.

When it comes to a lie, you always have to “cover your tracks.” You have to remember what you said to each person.

Lies are not worth it. Lies are destructive in relationships, and they will never get you anywhere.

So, when you are out there right now trying to meet somebody, remember what I’m telling you here about the truth. It’s always easier.

Sometimes the truth might be hard to say in the moment. Telling the truth in that moment, however difficult it is, will mean you never have to go back and apologize about it later.