I know that our usual weekend topic is nightlife and bars, but let’s switch it up a little for today. Today let’s talk a little bit about when you’ve got a date.

When you’re out and you’re dating, you know from the blog that if you’re the man on the date you always want to have a plan on the first date or so. When you ask a woman out, you want to be the leader, you want to have a place to go, but also be open to suggestions from your date. You want to have an idea of where you want to go and what you want to do that night based on the situation, the interaction, or the conversation you had with your date.

“What do you want to do tonight?” are words that should never come out of your mouth when inviting a woman out on a first date. Be thoughtful, be inspired, and show that you actually put some consideration and effort into the evening.

You don’t need to plan out every little detail of what you’re going to do—granted, some men and women do like their evening to run that way, and that’s fine if it suits your personality.

First Date Ideas

But there is a fine line between planning out a fun time on your date and rigidly sticking to your plans without room for creativity if things go wrong. You always want to be flexible in your planning. If things don’t go exactly according to plan, roll with it.

If your date is a vegetarian and you accidentally took her to a steak house, you can always leave and go somewhere else. Find a cool, hip vegetarian place maybe neither of you have ever been to before. You just might have a great new discovery in the area that you had no idea existed. And if the food wasn’t that good, oh well, at least the two of you had the experience and went on a little adventure together.

If you planned out a nice afternoon picnic or walk in the park and suddenly it starts raining, what do you do? Maybe change the plan and take her to a matinee. Sneak your picnic food in her purse have your own little picnic in the back of the theater.

It’s all about being open-minded. It’s all about being open to the fun possibilities out there. Because in reality, nothing goes exactly according to plan. You can never plan anything out 100% and know what the future holds in store, so be open to whatever comes your way, embrace it and make the most of it. The more your rigidly stick to what you planned out and try your hardest to make things to go exactly as planned, the more you are closing yourself off to great opportunities that come your way, opportunities that you couldn’t predict, even opportunities that you never thought could be possible.

So on all of your upcoming dates, I want you guys to have an action plan and a direction going into the date. But I also want to you be open and receptive to change. Be open and receptive to new possibilities on your dates, or in your encounters, or even when you are first meeting and talking to someone of the opposite sex, and see what great moments and great memories that you could never have predicted lie ahead for you.

So, what are you going to do? Are you going to do the “same old same old” first date of going out to dinner where you watch each other chew across the table, swap resumes and then end the night wondering whether you should kiss her?

To me, dates are about exploring each other. I like to keep the first date very simple — a cup of coffee and some good conversation. Then I see where it goes from there.

I like to see how I feel after the first date. When I was dating, I always knew I had a great date if on the drive home I smiled when I thought about things she said, or if I woke up the next morning smiling about something she said.

When that happened, I’d always follow up the next day with her and express that same thought. I’d either text her or call and say, “You know, I was thinking more about what you said about the economy, and I really look forward to talking to you again. P.S. Had a great time last night.”

Talk about whatever really interested you about her. Bring that back up, because it shows that you actually listened, bonded with her and was interested in her.

It’s really all about getting to know somebody. So why add the pressure of a dinner date? If you don’t like each other after the first twenty minutes and the service is slow in the restaurant, you’re going to have to painfully sit there and stare at each other.

That’s not worth it. Have a quick meeting – a cup of coffee or tea – so that you can find out if you have any chemistry at all before paying through the roof for dinner for no reason.

So keep your first dates really simple. Then on your second date, be more creative.

Whatever you learned about her on the first date — whether it’s that she likes Thai food, that she hasn’t bowled in a long time or really enjoys art galleries — make the second date something related to something you learned about her on the first date. Do the same thing for the third date (creating it from something you learned on the second date).

Dating is about building momentum. Dating is about creating memories.

Nothing means more to me in my heart than my first three months with Sonja. I can remember every moment, every conversation and everything we did like it was yesterday.

It’s amazing, because you’re creating something that may last a lifetime. So by learning about each other, and by actually giving some extra thought to your dates, you may be able to look back with that person and say, “God, our first three months were so amazing!”

There is nothing more powerful than new love. Make it special with everybody you date, because that one amazing person is going to come through your life at some point and you better get good at dating and listening before they do!

Don’t ever again dread that first date. CLICK HERE to find out how to start really enjoying those first dates!