Monday Monday, can’t trust that day,
Monday Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday morning, you gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh Monday Monday, how could you leave and not take me…

Do you remember that song “Monday, Monday” by The Mamas And The Papas? How about these lyrics from another great Monday-related song:

It’s just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
‘Cause that’s my funday
My I don’t have to runday
It’s just another manic Monday…

It’s really interesting. I got an email this morning from a woman who listened to one of my products, but who never went out and did anything to apply what she’d heard on the product.

She emailed me asking me for a refund saying that the product is just “not for her.” I emailed her back and told her that she can’t expect anything in her dating life to change just from listening to something, and that she would have to take action and put what she heard into practice.

Are you someone who listens to products or reads books expecting change to happen to you as you’re on the couch in your pajamas? No matter whose product or book you get — whether it’s mine, Tony Robbins’, Wayne Dyer’s or someone else’s — the answer lies within you (see Saturday’s blog for how I feel about that issue). You can read self-help books until you’re blue in the face, but if you don’t practice what they teach then your life will never change.

Here’s a funny story. A friend of mine worked at a book store and had a gentleman come to him one day and say, “I really want to ask you where the self-help section is located, by if I do then I won’t be helping myself. So let me go and find it.”

Everything I write and put in my products works. How do I know this? I know it because it worked for me, and because it has worked for every single person who has put it into practice.

How many of you were great at reading the DMV manual on how to drive a car, but ended up parked on the sidewalk when you were asked to parallel park during your road test?

I’ve heard it estimated that only about 10% of people who pick up a book actually read it all the way through, and only about 30% ever read past the first chapter. How many of you will pick up a self-help book or program and pat yourself on the back for taking the action to get it, but then will only get through the first volume or chapter (which was probably just an introduction about the author) before saying “This just isn’t for me?”

Then there are those of you who will try what you read or hear in a program, but will only try it ONCE. Then if it doesn’t work that first and only time you try it, you will say “See, it didn’t work!” It’s almost as if you want to have validation that it’s the program and not your failure to put in the effort.

Can you imagine where Mark Cuban would be now if he gave up the first time he failed when he tried a business? If he had this attitude, do you think he would own the Dallas Mavericks basketball team like he does today? Successful people fail every day. Unsuccessful people don’t fail because they often don’t try, and because they usually have either the “See, it didn’t work!” or the “Poor Me” attitude.

So many people pray every day for a miracle to happen in their life. Really, though, the miracle you’ve been waiting to happen is you. It’s you trying everything you’ve learned, and trusting yourself and the person giving you the advice.

For some of you, it’s just another manic Monday wishing it was Sunday. Others of you are praying for a miracle every day.

As for me, I wake up on Mondays with new goals, things to learn and new things to embrace. It’s amazing. It’s all about your attitude, and some of you have an attitude problem.

Some of you are “poor me’s.” You read, you listen and you study. You don’t try, and then you’re determined that it’s not you that is the problem.

It would be like if you want to be a great swimmer, but you don’t want to get wet so you just lay on the couch and envision yourself swimming. You can see yourself stroking through the water, but yet every time you go to the beach you don’t get in the water because the water is too cold, the sun is behind the clouds, or you look bad in your bathing suit. Then you go back to the couch and picture yourself swimming against Michael Phelps in The Olympics.

I used to be afraid of diving in the water as a kid. My counselor at summer camp kept telling me I had to bend all the way down and then I’d be able to do it. (Ahhh, remember the good old days before herniated discs when you could bend all the way down?)

I remember the counselor bending me all the way down and then tapping me on my ass or my back. (Oh the days when they could do that without worrying about being sued or called a pedophile … F&*%’n lawyers!) Anyway, he would do that (in a completely non-sexual way) and I’d roll right into the water. That’s how I learned how to dive in the water and how I got over my fear.

The bottom line is that you have to get off the couch. You have to get out of theoryland, you’ve got to trust . . . and you’ve got to just get out there and do it!

So when I get emails like the one from this woman this morning, I think “Why are you not even trying? Why are you not going out there and even doing one thing to give what you listened to a chance to work?

Fear is paralyzing, but there are certain words I never want to hear any of you say. In particular, I never want to hear any of you say “I can’t,” “I won’t” or “I’ll try.” You should instead be saying “I’ll do it, “I can” and “I will.”

You don’t need a miracle today, and this is not another manic Monday.

I’ve been asked to come clean.

I’m hanging out with Khiem, Tony and Rey. Rey is no longer Intern Rey, he’s now Assistant Rey. He’s graduated. Who knows what is going to happen down the road for Rey? He now has a new title, and he loves it.

As we’re walking down the beach right now, we’re taking Daphne – Coach Daphne, of course – we’re walking down the beach in Marina del Ray, and it’s about sunset. Rey just keeps pointing out different houses that I should move into.

Does he want me to actually live there? Does he care that it’s probably like $7,000 per month to rent the place? I think that there’s a selfish reason there – I think Rey’s reason for wanting me to live there is that he has a surfboard and while the office is cool enough already, it would be MUCH cooler if he could take surf breaks in the middle of the day.

Not only that, but I could picture Rey running the barbeque throughout the whole day. “Hey, are you guys hungry? I’m going to flip these burgers and then go catch some waves.” It’s okay, Rey, don’t worry about it. Just keep dreaming!

So we’re just kind of talking about women, and what type of women I like to date. I never really talk about myself on the blog – well, only sometimes. Recently I’ve been talking a little bit about myself. But what type of woman do I like to date?

I’ll just tell you straight out: if she’s under the age of 30, I’m not really that interested. I’m not interested for a few reasons. For one, I don’t really want to relive my dramatic twenties. No offense – I have friends in their twenties, I have lots of people I work with in their twenties, and I love them dearly – but I really just don’t want to relive my twenties.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my twenties. There were a lot of interesting moments during that decade, and moments of real growth, but I like a woman who is more – and we’ll get to this debatable topic in a second – I like a woman who is more grounded.

I like someone who is very balanced. They have a balance between their career and their passions. I’m interested in a woman who has spent a lot of time basically working on herself. A woman who has taken the time to get to know herself, and who has taken the time to really explore herself – mentally, sexually, emotionally and intellectually.

And really, this is what you are doing throughout your twenties. You’re spending your twenties exploring yourself emotionally, intellectually, sexually, and in terms of your career. You’re doing everything in your twenties.

That’s the great thing about this decade of your life. You are spending that time getting to know who you are and what you are all about. You’re defining your identity.

So when a woman is defining her identity, leave her alone and let her do that! It’s funny, because I know a lot of guys who are my age and love dating these younger women. I just have no patience for them. It’s not that I don’t like them, or that I wouldn’t be friends with them – I just don’t want to date them. I’d rather spend my time with somebody who knows who they are, about their identity, and what they are all about.

But we’re all different. Everybody is looking for something different. Khiem, who is in his twenties, dates women in their twenties. But he had an interesting emotional experience with an older woman over the weekend, and I want him to describe the difference.

Khiem: Basically, I went out this weekend with two girls as friends, not as dates. One of the women was in her forties, married, and the other one is in her mid-twenties and single. We all enjoyed each others’ company, but I ended up talking to the woman in her forties much more because she was much more self-assured.

She could speak well, she could relate to me better. I would try to bring the conversation back to the woman in her twenties as well, but she was just shyer. She was very cute, very petite, but there was something that was blocking her from really opening up.

The interesting thing for me was that while I know they both enjoyed their time with me – I took them out and showed them a great time, we had great conversations, so there’s no issue there, but after the weekend, the married woman in her forties called me to thank me for a great time. She told me how she wanted to do it again.

It was unexpected – I was taking them out because they were my friends, not because I expected anything, but she was willing to show appreciation. A lot of times, younger women don’t know how to do this. They are not secure enough in themselves to show appreciation to the men in their lives.

David: Well, and younger women also don’t really know exactly what they want yet, so they are really still sampling. A lot of them still have their expectations as well, so they don’t know when to give back or make the call. They don’t know how to reciprocate.

I hate to say this, and women in your twenties, don’t get your panties in a knot, but a lot of younger women are takers. A lot of younger guys are takers as well. They are both takers, which is fine, because at that phase of your life, you are a taker. You are learning exactly who you are. When you are learning about who you are, you’re taking things from people: experiences and other things. That’s what you’re about at that stage of your life.

Now Tony is 29, and he’s on the cusp of coming out of his twenties. What are you more attracted to now?

Tony: I would say older women – for relationships. For flings, younger women are alright, but as Khiem described, it’s difficult to have good conversations, open communication, or genuine reciprocation and sharing with younger women. I shouldn’t say you can’t – there are younger women that are exceptions. But my better experiences have been with women in their mid-thirties – even up to 40.

David: Because they are more aware sexually, and emotionally. And there are no games!

Tony: Exactly. And they appreciate guys who know what they want, and express it openly. They don’t have as many hang-ups.

Khiem: There’s a girl that I’m seeing right now in her mid-twenties, and I love helping her explore her sexuality. At the same time, I know that there are a lot of guys that don’t know how to do that. They are just into bam-bam-bam, that’s it. It takes a certain kind of man or woman to really explore that.

Tony: The cool thing with a younger woman is that you can help steward them…

Khiem: Yes, you can mold them.

Tony: And guide them, and lead them through experiences that guys their age wouldn’t be able to do. I think that’s why they appreciate older men.

David: I was always into very long sex sessions. I was never a jackrabbit minuteman. The first time I had sex I think I lost it in about three and a half seconds, but since then I’ve always been about controlling it and giving women a great experience.

I’ve never been sexually turned on unless I can really play with a woman – unless I can really give her a great experience. To me, that whole connection is really important.

But it’s so funny because I remember when I was in my twenties and the sexual experiences I had with women were just annoying. It was so inconsistent. One day they would be sexually present and have a great time, and the next night you’d be begging for sex.

Women in their twenties are still dealing with a lot of the Catholic guilt that we were talking about earlier, or upbringing stuff – they’re not yet comfortable with their bodies, and they are still comparing themselves to their friends. They aren’t yet in love with themselves because they don’t know themselves yet. We’ll talk about the Catholic guilt topic another day, because that is a HUGE subject that we get a lot of emails about.

But when it comes down to dating, I think you are where you are. Assistant Rey is 18. So he’ll date anything – he’s so fucking horny all of the time, he’s checking out the woman in the car next to us now. Rey’s at the point where he’ll date anything – 18, 19, whatever.

Khiem: Rey is the Energizer Bunny: ready to go at any time.

David: And that’s the great thing about being 18. You can pump and dump 17 times a night.

So the bottom line is: enjoy the stage you are in. Embrace where you are, and enjoy it. Just be okay with the journey that you’re presently on – it’s YOUR journey. If you’re learning – learn. If you want to develop yourself deeper – go do the things that help you to develop yourself as a deeper person.

Take the time to spend time with you and learn to be with yourself.

Todays video is all about validation.
Time to validate yourself with real confidence and not a phone number from a woman who will never call you back!

Have you ever met the man of your dreams . . . or maybe he’s the man of your nightmares? You know this guy. You’re on a date with him. He starts talking about himself. Then he starts bragging . . .

He starts bragging about the stuff he has. At first he might bring up the kind of car he drives. Then he may tell you about the house (or houses) he owns. He has even produced a movie. You sit there listening and nodding your head, while he hasn’t listened to anything you have to say.

Then, all of a sudden, he goes into another mode. He shifts from bragging mode into what I call “deeper bragging” mode. Deeper bragging involves talking about some of the super-great things a man has or has done. Perhaps he has a horse who won the Kentucky Derby four year ago. What a stud he is!

What a man in deeper bragging mode will brag about may vary, but as he continues to talk each thing he says escalates into deeper and deeper bragging. Mr. Deeper Bragging never listens, often because the woman that he’s talking to is young enough to be his daughter.

That woman doesn’t usually care if Mr. Deeper Bragging listens because he is just a meal ticket to her. The thing about meal tickets, though, is that they are often accompanied by wonderful repetitive cycles of deeper bragging.

With every sentence, the deeper bragging escalates in his efforts to impress this young woman. Really though, how hard is it when you’re a 50 year-old man to impress a 20 year-old girl? It’s not really too hard.

Mr. Deeper Bragging doesn’t get it though, because do you know what happens him at the end of the night? Mr. Deeper Bragging ends up all alone in his big house with his bottle of KY Jelly going from deeper jerking off to watching deeper porn on his 68-inch plasma television set.

Mr. Deeper Bragging has no clue that the key to meeting women is not just bragging. You have to lose the deeper bragging and learn deeper listening skills.

Todays podcast is all about taking action in your life.

Are you a talker or are a doer?

Which one are you and how to take control and become a doer!!!