Well, ok, he didn’t really say that. But in my version he did.

So you meet a new woman, and she’s so full of sexual energy. She’s usually anywhere from 28 to 33. No offense to anybody older or anybody younger, but what happens is that a lot of women, right around the age f 30, start coming into their own sexuality. They start letting go of their inhibitions, realizing that sexually they have the freedom to do whatever they want. They start really enjoying sex more than ever before. The guilt is gone. It’s over. None of the Catholic guilt that they used to have from their family. None of the fear of friends calling her a whore or being labeled a slut by her peers.

All of a sudden, it seems like women kick into sexual overdrive. Right around 28 to 33, after which they just become these incredible, open, sexual beings.

The question to all you guys is: Can you handle a woman when she’s in that phase of her life? Or do you judge her? If you’re sitting across from a woman at a table, let’s say she’s 29 years old, and she says to you on a date, “I’ve slept with 18 guys.”

Are going to look at her and judge her? Are you going to look at her and shoot your nose up? What if she slept with more men than you’ve slept with women? What if you wish you’d slept with that many women? Are you going to be intimidated? What if you’ve slept with more? Are you still going to judge her? What if she tells you she’s slept with like 10 guys this month? Are you going to think she’s a slut? That she’s dirty?

Sexual Truth

I can feel all you — all of you — getting ready to type something in the comments section right now. I know Bob, you’re really ready to write something right now. I can feel it.

I know all of you are thinking right now of something to write. You’re probably judging. Maybe you’re saying to yourself, “I’m a great guy, I would never judge!”

But here’s the deal: who can tell you if or why she’s on a sexual escapade right now, or a sexual rampage? Don’t judge her. Embrace it. Have fun with the situation, and have fun with her. Stop with the double standard in life. There really is no double standard except inside your own mind. We all have different experiences in life, and we all set different standards for ourselves.

Stop judging women for expressing their sexuality and start embracing them and enjoying the gift they’re about to give you. As David Wygant said to Bob, “You can’t handle the blow job!” I’m sure Bob right now is laughing and saying to himself, “Hey, I’ve made the blog! My name is Bob.”

It’s amazing. As each year passes, there seems to be less news and more pop culture dressed up as news.

It seems like all anyone was talking about was Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson’s divorce announcement, and the seemingly impending breakup of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage. Apparently Katie wants to leave Tom, and the battle over daughter Suri will be a fierce one.

Do We Really Care?

The news — and television in general — nowadays is all all about other people’s “stuff” and exposing all of their personal business in the public arena. This is especially true when it comes to exposing the intimate details of other people’s love life.

People can’t seem to get enough of hearing about celebrity divorces. There are also just so many dating shows out there. They have figured out about every angle there is about dating . . . and divorce.

Think about the show The Millionaire Matchmaker. Can’t millionaires find love?

I’m sure you’ve seen at least some of these shows. If you have, then you know that it is no mystery why a lot of these people can’t find love. They are too dysfunctional to find love.

What has this to do with us and our own dating lives? Well too many people are so caught up in everybody else’s “stuff” (the drama and the garbage going on in everybody else’s dating life), that they don’t do enough work on themselves.

Let’s say you’re divorced. Where are you going to turn for guidance or inspiration for how to get healthy emotionally and move forward? Where are you going to learn how to get back in the dating scene if you’ve been married and haven’t dated in years? You’re certainly not going to gain anything by reading up on how a celebrity feels about being divorced, because their life is totally different than yours.

Think about who you’re reading about in terms of people dealing with and moving forward after a divorce. Hugh Hefner is getting married . . . again. At 85, he has found love again after divorce.

Really? At age 85 he found love with a 24 year old? Lust maybe, or maybe amazement that a 24 year old finds you (and not just your money) attractive.

We read so much about these celebrities, and we watch so many of these dating shows, that all people are hearing is very celebrity-geared advice. There’s no real advice on these shows.

There are no shows out there about how to really move forward after a divorce, and how to go out there again and start dating. There are no shows that have the message, “Hey you’re divorced and you need to learn how to date all over again. We’re going to show you how to do that.”

If there was a show like that, it would probably be called “Divorce Survivor” (or something like that) and I can envision exactly how it would be structured. They would have a group of divorced people who would battle one another and sleep with each other’s ex-spouses as they were trying to be the last one standing to win money at the end of the show.

There is no good, “real truth” advice for people like you and I who go through a real-world divorce. I’ve been divorced, and I know what it’s like to go back out there into the dating world after that. I know what it’s like be dating again and to be thinking, “Wow, I have to get back out there after all these years.”

Here is some great advice for you if you are in this place in your life right now. I’ve written this before, but it is some of the best advice you can hear about this: Focus just on you and your own life.

Choose only one person right now from whom you are going to take advice (so you don’t get conflicting advice). Whom should you choose? The person you need to get advice from is yourself.

Sure, you can read books and check out my blog posts, but what I really want all of you to do first is to figure out where YOU want your life to be post-divorce.

Concentrate on what you really want. What type of man or woman do you want to meet? What did you learn from your past relationships?

Don’t compare yourself to anybody else — not your friends, your neighbor or any celebrity. Look at you and your personal situation. Enjoy the process.

That’s why I recently wrote that blog about getting rid of bitterness and forgiving after a divorce. When I say this, I am talking not just about forgiving your ex, but also about forgiving yourself.

So what I want all of you to do this week is to come up with a game plan. Write down all the places you go where there are women (or men) you’d like to meet. Then when you’re out at these places every single day, start saying hello. start being more open and communicating.

Put down the iPhone or the BlackBerry. Stop thinking about work. Take a break from worrying about what your kids are doing at that moment.

Start being 100% present in the moment. When you’re out and about becoming more open and being friendly, people will want to meet you and be in your space.

There’s a big world out there. So start looking outside and make that list right now. Sit down in front of your computer and make out your list of all the places you see people that you’re attracted to.

Then set a goal for yourself and get out there the next day to achieve it. Your first goal could be to say hello to three people. Do that for a week, and then set your next goal. Maybe your next goal will be to start actually talking to people and asking how they are doing. It doesn’t matter what it is; it only matters that you do it.

The greatest thing about divorce is that you get to do the dating thing this time around with all the knowledge and wisdom you have learned from your past relationship. You can have fun dating and find true love.

Dating is fun, and falling in love is amazing. All of you deserve that.

So get out from behind the computer. Stop worrying about how celebrities are handling their divorces and their lives, and start being open to all the wonderful opportunities available to you in the post-divorce world.

We’ve talked a lot in the blog about the truth — the importance of telling the truth and being honest with all the people in your life. There is one facet of the truth, though, that I think we need to go into more deeply today.

Today we are going to talk about being truthful with yourself. You are the person with whom you need to be the most honest. So, how honest are you with yourself?

Right now, I want you to write this down on a piece of paper: “Where I’m at in my life right now is . . . ” Then I want you to fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth.

Then write down this down: “Where I want to be in my life right now is . . .” Then fill in the end of that statement and speak your truth once again.

Look at what you wrote down. What is preventing you, honestly, from getting to the next level?

Are you one of those people who want to meet more women (or men), but you just can’t do it? You read about it and you talk about it. You go out and you try doing it for maybe ten minutes. Then you wait three weeks before you try doing it again. You’ll never get good doing it that way.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers: The Story Of Success. In that book, he says that people who are experts at something became an expert by spending many hours doing it over and over again. There are no naturals at anything. Some people find it really easy to do things once they practice, while others need to push themselves harder.

So the question you need to ask yourself is: How honest are you with yourself? Are you someone who is thinking of getting coaching but puts it off and makes excuses that you can do it on your own, but you can’t do it on your own?

How honest are you with yourself about your life right now? You’ll never get where you want to be in your life without being honest with yourself.

If you lack the self-motivation to learn how to meet the opposite sex, seek help. Set up a calendar of things to do every single day that push you. Get honest with yourself, because if you’re not then you will never achieve your goals.

Want to have Me and my coaches on your email “speed dial” answering all your dating questions? CLICK HERE if you are a man or CLICK HERE if you are a woman to find out how.

I really don’t like mine, due to the fact that I always have the attitude that it is just another day. When it comes to making birthdays special for someone you love, however, that’s when the fun starts.

You get to shop for some presents and scatter them around the house, so they will have things to open all day long. You get to plan a fun dinner, and plan some great birthday surprises for after dinner.

I like doing the surprising better than being the one surprised. So today I will be laying out the surprises.

As one of my first surprises for her, I’d like to write a little note here to Sonja…

Sonja — As you know this whole day was and is about spoiling you. So, look at this as my birthday blog to you. As you know, I never write a blog as an open letter to any one person, but how would it look if I did not wish the woman I love huge birthday wishes on my blog?

Now, let’s not get all crazy. I am not making this into a “Tom Cruise jumps on Oprah’s couch” moment . . . but then again that moment gave him a ton of press publicity, so maybe I should give Oprah a ring and ask if I can jump on her couch and wish Sonja a happy birthday.

For now (and until I am able to arrange my couch jumping Oprah appearance), what I want to hear from all of you today is how you feel about birthdays.

Do you like your birthday, or do you just treat it like any other day?
What was your favorite birthday, and what did you do to celebrate it?
Which birthday made you think about something really deep and profound?

So Happy Birthday to Sonja, and to anyone else who shares a May 30th birthday with my girl!

How do you mentally get off? What do you do in life to really stimulate your brain? To stimulate your mind? To stimulate your soul? Are you constantly working, constantly building up a life, but yet not doing anything to mentally masturbate?

And what do I mean by the term ‘mental masturbation?’ I mean, how do you enjoy your mind? How do you enhance your mind?

Think for a second: when is the last time you went on a trip? When is the last time that you did something that you really wanted to do – without any rules and regulations?

How many of you work really hard but never take vacation time? How many of you make money but never really spend it on things that you want? Even when you’re in the store, you debate about whether or not you should buy it. You debate about whether or not you deserve it.

My motto is that if you work really hard, you deserve everything that you can do.

You need to start masturbating your mind. You need to start enjoying things. You need to make a list of five places that you want to go, five things that you want to experience that you’ve never done before.

You need to say – as Miles said to Joel in Risky Business – do you remember that scene in Risky Business when Joel had the hooker party and the guy from Princeton was there, and Joel was all nervous because he didn’t think he’d get into Princeton? And Miles looked at him and said, “sometimes you have to say, ‘what the fuck.’”

You’ve got to say ‘what the fuck.’ Instead of thinking about who you want to fuck, and instead of chasing people you want to fuck, why don’t you start saying ‘what the fuck?’

Why don’t you start enjoying your life in every capacity? Make a list of five things that you want to do. Make a list of the things that you really want to experience. Do something crazy. Buy yourself something that you’ve never bought yourself before – just because you can.

Enjoy yourself. Life is just not about chasing the opposite sex. Life is about fulfilling your mind, fulfilling your soul, and that is the real concept behind mental masturbation.