Enjoy your holiday weekend!!

Let’s talk today about how to get from here to there. So many people cannot imagine what it takes to get to there from here.

Earlier today, some clients and I went into Z Clothing in Brentwood, which a friend of mine owns. I met my friend Barry about five years ago, just walking into the store as anyone would. I was just a regular consumer.

Most people walk in and say, “Hey, I’m looking for a pair of jeans.” I walked in, and I was just myself. I talked to Barry, and I learned about him. And then the next time I walked into the store, I remembered things about him from the last conversation we’d had. And we built a relationship on that.

I’m always thinking about the present. Everything I do today could pay off in the future. But most people are looking out for the immediate payoff. “There’s no women in here, I can’t afford these clothes, fuck it!” I look at life like I’m investing in a stock for the future.

So five years later, we walk into the store today, and I’m helping Barry out with a sale. I lent him one of my employees for two days to help him out with the sale.

I walked in there, we talked, and I found a pair of jeans that were on sale, and he just gave them to me. We’ve been friends for so long. I gave him my employee; he gave me a pair of jeans! It’s just friends helping each other out.

This is how you build up these things. You see that person walking into the deli and always getting the extra sandwich meat, or the free stuff – it’s because of what he or she did in that moment.

I don’t expect anything. Most people walk in expecting things. They expect something to happen, and they want something to happen. They get disappointed if something doesn’t happen that very day. Me? I don’t care. I don’t expect anything to happen.

My future is full of wonderful, unexpected things. Because of how I have invested my time, whenever I walk into a place, I get so many amazing things.

Most people get nothing amazing everyday because they are just thinking about being rewarded at that instant.

You don’t need to be rewarded. The reward will come down the road.

Whenever you talk to someone, you need to come away from that conversation with some personal information about them.

Ask yourself after each conversation, “What personal thing did I find out about this person?”

If your memory needs work, try using a digital recorder or start writing down what you remember. I tell this to guys all the time.

The fact is that the more you remember about people, the greater your chance is to bond with them in the future.

So after you talk to anyone, ask yourself, “What did I discover about this individual personally? What did I learn?” This also trains your brain to think in this way, and it helps improve your memory.

Next time you run into that person (which you will!), you can start the conversation with something personal you learned the last time you both met.

For instance, we were just talking to some women who were trying to raise money for the homeless shelter. In a few weeks I might run into one of them again and say, “Oh, I saw you a few weeks ago outside Whole Foods. Have you reached your fundraising goal yet?”

It’s really important for you to remember things like that. Without a personal takeaway, you have no way of following up with someone that you want to speak to again!

When you’re in this situation, you get frustrated. As the conversation progresses and gets more and more heated, you start to panic. You feel the need to somehow swing the conversation in your direction.

So you either change the topic – which is a mistake, because you just needlessly killed a great conversation – or you feel driven to say something totally stupid.

Here’s what I tell guys who find themselves in that situation: it’s a great time to shut up and learn.

Life repeats itself nonstop. Twenty days later you may find yourself in that same conversation again. This time, you’ll know what to say. You’ll be able to add your opinion and provide interesting facts. Remember, knowledge is power.

When I’m in a situation where I don’t know what is going on, I shut up. I allow myself to listen and learn. I don’t try to add in clever comments just to stay in the game.

To stay in the conversation, I do look at the person speaking and show my interest in what they are saying. I direct my body language to the speaker, keep my eyes open and stay engaged. I’m enjoying the conversation; I’m having fun (even if I can’t contribute to the topic.)

The most important thing is to drop your ego. Your ego is what makes you think, how can I get this conversation in my direction? In reality, often that strong, silent type wins!

And twenty minutes later, you can pull the woman in the conversation aside and say to her, “That was really fascinating. I had no idea about the depth of the economic shakedown,” or whatever it might be. “I had no clue. Did you know all of that stuff? Are you passionate about that stuff?” In this way, you can bring the conversation back into your realm.

You have to learn that knowledge is key. Knowledge is the key to everything you do in life.

It’s all right to be silent. It’s all right to say that you don’t know about a topic. It’s great to listen!

Todays video explores why all men are 18.

Its time we gave the women of our site the same treatment and great videos that the men get.

But first you all need to read about how ego ruins you.

Do you know what ruins the possibility of most relationships taking off?

Ego always ruins it.

Here you are, hanging out with a woman you’ve been out with three or four times. You’re getting along great, and you know it. You’re having a good time, and then all of a sudden, one of you gets scared – which always happens. Someone always gets scared.

So all of a sudden, she stops calling, or she doesn’t text you back right away. And what do you do?

Your ego works to protect yourself, and you basically say to yourself, fuck it – it’s not going to work out.

In reality, your ego was actually just protecting you from becoming even more vulnerable.

Then you rationalize to yourself by just submerging yourself in work or whatever it is. Your ego is just trying to protect yourself the whole time.

Life might just take one more phone call. Call that person out and say to them, “hey, what’s going on? I don’t get it. You and I were having a good time, and then you disappear. What’s going on?”

By calling somebody out on their shit, you’re going to get a response that will be far different than you ever imagined. Maybe she just needed that extra push.

Women like to feel safe. Maybe she did get a little bit scared, and when a woman gets scared, what does she want? She wants to be protected by her man.

A real man is going to make her feel protected and make her feel safe. That’s what women are craving – that feeling of safety and security. Women are nesters. Women are looking at you as a potential husband or father, and they want to feel very safe.

And by you saying, screw it, and just walking away, you proved to her that that little doubt that she had about you was 100% correct. Just because you didn’t want to become vulnerable and you had to protect your ego. You wanted to save face.

And who might you be saving face from? Her friends if she talks to them? If you call her and just tell her what’s up, she’s going to go to her friends and say: “Joe called, and he just wants to know what’s going on with me. What should I do?” If her friends know that she likes you, all her friends will be encouraging her to call you.

So your ego just protected you from nothing.

You have to lose the ego. If you really want a true, spectacular relationship, drop the ego. When you go to meet somebody, drop the ego. Stop worrying about what other people say and just live your life to the fullest every day by becoming vulnerable.

Todays video is all about how women can attract men everyday.

And then you meet someone who turns you on more than anyone you’ve met in a long time and they don’t respond to an email right away.

First of all, you have to start thinking to yourself, how many times have I gotten a lot of emails? And then you don’t check for a few hours and they just get buried. Or you read an email, you smile, but you’re in the middle of doing something else at work and can’t respond?

Shit happens. Stop standing on principle – you might miss a connection. Your ego gets in the way of so many great things.

If you meet someone and you have great chemistry, it’s worth it to lob in another text or email. You have to be willing to go the extra distance. If you don’t, you might miss out on something spectacular.

The reason why meeting people and dating is so difficult is because we make it that hard. Our egos get in the way all the time. We just don’t go the extra distance.

We say to ourselves, fuck her, man, she didn’t text me back, I’ll go find someone else!

Okay, great, go find someone else. But you thought she was spectacular before. Now you rationalize to yourself that she’s not that spectacular anymore – oh, I didn’t really like her that much anyway.

Yeah, you did! But you spend all of this time convincing yourself that you didn’t, just because she wounded you and you want to save face.

What are you saving face for? Lob in another email or text, or even call her up. She might say, “oh my god, I forgot to respond, I am so sorry, I got so busy at work.”

That ego kills you every time.

If you have the minimalist approach to your business, what happens? You don’t make any money, right? You have to have that same feeling of abundance in every facet of life.

So many guys will meet a girl and then say to themselves, I don’t want to blow this! You’re acting like this is the last pretty girl you will ever see. Instead of challenging yourself and having a good conversation with her, you’re monitoring yourself and trying not to blow it. You walk over there and you play it safe, because you don’t want to blow it.

You think, if I say what I really want to say, then she’s not going to like me. You present yourself in front of her and guess what? She doesn’t like you, because you played it safe. Women don’t like when you play it safe. They’re not attracted to it.

So by having this minimalist attitude and playing it safe – not living with an abundance mentality and realizing that there are so many women out there – you will do this same thing every day. You will always be playing it safe.

You need to think to yourself, hey, this behavior pattern isn’t working!

And then the next time you see a good looking woman, you can say to yourself, I don’t give a fuck what I’m going to say. I’m going to say exactly what is on my mind, I’m going to try something totally different, and I’ll just have some fun with it. If she doesn’t respond, it doesn’t matter.

And when you start changing things like this, you’ll realize that women are starting to respond better to you.

It takes time. Women, keep this in mind: men think that they should win at everything that they do.

Women are about connecting. But coaching men is different. Men are like, I’ve got to go out and meet every single woman and they all have to like me!

No they don’t! Who cares? They don’t all have to like you; you just have to weed through them quickly. It is totally ridiculous to expect that every single woman you meet will like you. But as men, we just think it’s our rite of passage. Just because we stood there and talked to her she should give us her phone number and spread her legs for us.

That’s how men think. That’s the male mentality. On the other hand, women think, I just want to connect and enjoy somebody’s company. I want to learn about them and give it more of a chance. It’s more natural and authentic.

So men, remember this: just because you deposit yourself in front of her doesn’t mean that she’s going to like you.

So I just don’t care. I go over there, I talk and I flirt; I say whatever is on my mind. And if they respond? Great. If not? Who cares!

The next woman that you see – go up to her and say exactly what is on your mind. I don’t care what it is. Don’t get confrontational, but be real about it. Pay attention to her and the emotions on her face. Pay attention to what she is doing.

Just say it as you say it right now.