You had all these big plans for summer, whether you were a young kid looking forward to day camp or whether you were a teenager looking forward to summer camp or to college. Whether you were going to work as a lifeguard at the neighborhood pool or you were just going have so much fun hanging out with your friends, you just couldn’t wait for that three-and-a-half-month summer vacation.

Summer used to be such magic. The anticipation and the feeling that you felt every day was special. No school. Going to bed later. All of it.

When I was in the third grade, we spent the summer out in The Hamptons. It was beautiful. I remember Gregory Seltzer and I running around and swimming all day long. We used to go deep into the ocean. I remember what it felt like deep into the ocean at that stage in my life.

I remember swimming out there, and then running back on the beach to make a beard in the sand. Then I’d shave my sand beard with a clamshell. Now, as an adult, I can’t stand shaving. I wish I never had to shave.

I remember all the magic. I remember all the traditions we had.

I would also go away to summer camp and spend almost the whole summer with friends there. It was so much fun. Then I’d come back, and we’d spend time as a family in The Hamptons.

My Grandmother had a house out in Hamptons Bay. It was on the water and absolutely beautiful. At the end of the summer, we used to go to go there.

The very last night we would have a lobster dinner. I remember picking up the lobsters at Tully’s, a seafood store in Hampton Bays, and all the anticipation about that dinner — cracking them open and sitting down to that last big dinner before going back to school.

I would sit there and wonder (now, please don’t laugh) if I would be the tannest or blondest kid in school on the first day. I was always working on my tan or letting my hair bleach out from the sun.

Summers used to be so carefree. Now as adults, what do we do?

We take a week off — maybe two — and that’s it. The rest of the time, we work.

Summer nights aren’t magic anymore. We need to recapture that feeling that we had as a kid.

What is your favorite summer memory? What is your most incredible summer memory? How can you get back that magic?

Wouldn’t it be great if your boss let you out of work every single day at 3:00pm just because it was summertime? What if everyone’s boss let them out of work at 3:00pm every day of summer, and everyone could go out and play tag? Maybe you could go out and have a color war like you did at camp, or go to the neighborhood pool and play Marco Polo.

Maybe we should institute that. Maybe I should ask President Obama and Congress to make that a law, i.e., that in July and August all businesses must close at 3:00 pm so that all adults can act like kids again.

Why do we need to be so old? Why do we need to act like adults? Why can’t summer be magical like it once was?

As I’m writing this blog on a Monday sitting with my wife in Palm Springs, I am realizing how amazing summer truly is. I want to have that amazing summer feeling back that I had when I was a kid. So I think if we all get together and maybe sign some type of petition to enact that 3:00pm summer rule, that we can get that magical summer feeling back.

For those of you who are single, imagine all the great dates you can go on if we get this 3:00pm summer law passed. Imagine all the amazing people you can meet when go to the adult summer camp at 3:00pm after work, and get to go on a “social.”

I remember socials at summer camp. They were so much fun. Boys on one side and girls on the other. It was so much easier than speed dating.

Anyway, I think we should pass this blog on to President Obama and see what he can do to make this 3:00pm summer law happen. I think this could be something that could really work!

I was at an appointment talking to the woman conducting the appointment, and she was telling me how she pays her kids an allowance of $35.00 per week. I used to get $1.00 a week, and I was able to go out and buy as many Red Hots as I could consume and still have change left over. I remember as a kid being up in the Hamptons and finding $10.00 in the sand. I was rich! I could buy enough candy to rot my teeth forever.

This woman I was talking to today also informed me that babysitters get paid $10.00 per hour. I used to get a buck an hour to hang out, eat the parents’ food and drink beer. It’s funny. When we used to drink the vodka, we would refill the bottle with water . . . or we’d take one sip out of every liquor bottle in the cabinet so they wouldn’t notice.

Babysitting taught me life’s greatest lesson: the hangover. Speaking of hangovers, have any of you taken my recommendation and saw the movie “The Hangover” yet?

So next time a high school kid emails me and tells me he can’t afford my products, I’m going to come right back at him and say, “Dude, go babysit. Make yourself a small fortune.”

So onto today’s blog all about a different kind of payoff . .

In looking for love, like in so many other areas of life, too many people are always focused on finding “the big payoff.” Let me tell you a story to give you an idea what I mean.

A ways back I was in the market to buy a new home. There was a home I saw up in the Hollywood Hills that needed a lot of work. I could have gotten it for a price which would have left me with a couple hundred thousand dollars in equity AFTER I put all the money into it necessary to really fix it up the way I wanted. So I could have the big payoff, right? I could sell it or live in it, and it’s a win for me either way.

Here, though, was the bottom line: I didn’t want that house! I didn’t like the street on which it was located. I didn’t even 100% love the house. So even though I could have made money on it, i.e., even though there would have been a big payoff attached to it, I didn’t want it.

Why is it that everything we do in life has to have a big payoff at the end? So the majority of people who go out to buy a piece of property never buy the land that they love. They buy the property with the best resale value. You want to live in a place that you love, but we’re trained to choose the option that is going to give us the biggest payoff.

Here is how all this real estate talk is related to your dating life and to your life overall. Let me first say that I understand that we want to make wise financial choices. For instance, if we buy a stock there had better be a “big payoff” on that investment.

What has gotten lost in people’s lives and in their search for love, though, is looking for what they DO want instead of what they SHOULD want. What happened, for instance, to the time when home ownership was just for the purpose of finding a place that has an environment that increases your quality of life? What happened to picking a place just because it will mean coming home to a neighborhood that you love every day?

Why does everything now have to have such a huge payoff at the end? When you approach someone to whom you’re attracted, so many people are not present in the moment. They are just thinking about whether or not that other person likes them or whether they can get the other person’s number. Rather than approaching someone and just having a great conversation, people are worried the entire time about the payoff.

By worrying about if the other person likes them or whether they should ask for a phone number, they are never present in the conversation! On top of that, while they are so focused on the payoff, they never even take the time to think about whether they are even genuinely interested in that other person.

The whole point of approaching someone has become the payoff, whereas the focus when you meet someone should always and only be on whether you connect and have chemistry with that person. In other words, the focus should always be on whether you are interested in getting to know that person further.

You need to learn that many times in life, the quality of your day-to-day experiences are much more rewarding than that “big payoff” for which you always strive. It’s not that the payoff isn’t going to also happen. It will – the outcome you want is going to happen naturally.

If you’re 100% present in a conversation with someone and enjoying the experience, then guess what is going to happen? You’ll get the payoff that you were worried about in the first place!

You’ll get the phone number or you will go out on a date with them or you will find out whether or not they like you. Most importantly, you will get the real “big payoff” you need, i.e., finding out if you’re genuinely interested in them.

If you are so obsessed with the end result during a conversation, though, you will produce the opposite result than you wanted. Because you will be nervous and/or unfocused on that other person during the conversation, you will never intrigue the person or be able to get to know them. You will convey your nervous energy to them.

So in dating and in all aspects of life, stop worrying about what the future holds Stop worrying about “the big payoff” all the time and begin always being present in the moment. The more present you are, the better decisions you’ll make and the richer every part of of your life will be.