Josh: I’m curious about how you suggest following up with somebody you’ve just talked to that day – if you want to see that person again.

David: It goes back to gathering information. Remember when we were out on the street and I talked to the Pomeranian couple?

Josh: Yeah.

David: And then we saw them in Barney’s later? What did I do? What had I learned about them?

I learned what they do for a living. I learned that they are from LA. I learned about some neighborhoods that they really like (because I’m buying a house.) She told me about a real estate deal that she did and how she got through to the guy to get the best possible deal.

So how did I follow it up?

I already knew five or six things about them, so when I saw them in Barney’s the second time I remembered that they were from LA. I said to them, “what, so we don’t have a Barney’s in LA? What are you doing here?”

The woman responded, “oh my god, that’s so funny,” and then she started talking about why she doesn’t like the Barney’s in LA. We then went further in the conversation.

That’s what it’s about: gathering that information. Knowledge is powerful. If you don’t remember stuff, get a little recorder or a BlackBerry. I tell guys all the time to put notes in their phones.

Your memory is all you have, so you have to start using it to remember things about people. If you don’t remember something about somebody then it means that you didn’t connect with him or her in the first place. It’s all about connecting. It’s all about having fun and learning things about other people.

That’s why this is so important. As we just talked about, Howie, you have to draw out emotions from the other person. If you can elicit their emotions the first time, then the next time you see them you can go right into that emotion again.

Josh: How do you use emotion without constantly feeling like you have to amp up the emotional level? How do you just keep everything on an even keel and still be strong man? It seems like I have to keep amping up to the next topic.

David: That’s what we were talking about earlier, the overcompensation. I keep my energy high. When I talk to somebody, they know that I’m interested. When I talk to you, you all know that I’m really interested in what you are saying, right?

How do I do that? I change my voice tone just a little bit. You notice the way that my voice tone changes just a little bit every single time I’m speaking? I’m not speaking in monotone.

You don’t have to be over the top. I think that when guys first start to learn how to do this, they get so over the top. It’s like they have to climb over the mountain first.

What I do is just say, “wow, that’s so interesting.” It’s genuine; it’s about being authentic. Do you really give a shit about what the other person is talking about? If you don’t give a shit, then you aren’t connecting with them, and what is the point? Unless you’re trying to have some one-night-stand and you’re going to fake it with her for an hour, what’s the point?

Faking it for an hour and a half is what I find overcompensating. If you’re genuinely interested in someone, you will naturally be very interested in what they are saying. You’ll be having a good conversation because you will be connecting with them.

Josh: What about the topic itself? How do you keep talking about those emotional topics without petering out? Is it just your emotional energy level taking over?

David: It’s all about energy. You’re never going to peter out if the conversation is going well.

If you talk to some woman for ten minutes and you do start petering out, you have to say to yourself, I would rather give the best two or three minutes of myself 100% (and tease her a bit with how amazing those two to three minutes were) than continue and half-ass it.

Make the determination: do I like her enough to ask her out? Then you have to do something. If you’re at a mall, say, “you know what? You and I need to go fill this bag,” or, “I’m going to call you. I have to go meet my buddies right now, but give me your number. I’m going to have you a call and we’re going to get together.”

This is how you build upon it. Sometimes you think that you have to talk to a woman for such a long period of time, but in reality all you have to do is give her a couple of strong and powerful minutes of yourself. Intrigue her and tease her a little bit and then get her phone number.

You can then get your energy back a little bit and call her up on the phone later. You’ll then have a conversation based on some of the things you talked about the first time you chatted. Does that make sense?

Josh: Yeah. But in this situation, when we were talking to the tri-athletes, I’m thinking about what you’ve taught me so far, and I wanted to say, “I have to get back to my friends, but I really want to finish this story sometime. Give me your number and I’ll call you…”

David: Exactly! Let’s say she hadn’t yet find out the results of her race. Say to her, “give me your number, I want to find out the results.” After doing a triathlon, she’s probably craving sugar or carbs or whatever, so say, “after you find out the results, we’re going to get together and carb out.”

Make it fun! Make it an adventure.

I’m in a cafe right now, sitting here with a friend of mine, and we’re just talking about magic tricks. Card tricks, what other tricks were there?

Friend: Magic rings, stopping your watch, hand reading, cold reading, palm reading…

David: Every reading imaginable! And here’s the funny thing. We were just talking about guys and what they do. A lot of guys, for some reason or another, think that they need to become the clown.

They go to a mall on a Saturday afternoon, they approach every woman – every woman – they’re not discriminatory at all. They don’t even think – they just approach every single woman.

They don’t qualify women; all they do is approach. And they approach them with the same thing: the hand-writing trick. The origami trick. The palm-reading trick.

And the great thing is that the women are amused and entertained. And the trick lasts for about a minute or a minute and a half, right?

Friend: Something sets them off, and they put in one trick after another for maybe five or ten minutes. The woman gets flooded – it’s like opening them up and then just shitting in as much as you can – that’s what they do.

David: So they basically open their mouth and just shit words out. All they are doing is just entertaining this woman. Basically, the woman just watches a show. When the show is over, they guy has basically nothing left to say, the woman has nothing to say – because this isn’t a conversation – and both parties go in different directions.

The problem is that a lot of guys, after they do the show, will want an encore, and they’ll ask for the phone number. Some women will give out the phone number, because they’re caught in the moment, or they think it’s cute, but – 90% of the time, these women just don’t call back.

Friend: They never call back.

David: They don’t call back. And the reason they don’t call back is because you haven’t bonded with them – you know nothing about them. Why should they go out with Card Man? Why should they go out with Origami Man? Why should they go out with a performing clown?

They’re not really looking to date a clown; they’re not looking to hang out with a clown. They’re looking to hang out with somebody who intrigues them – somebody who they can have a conversation with, somebody they share a moment with.

That’s why all of this crap is ridiculous. It doesn’t teach you how to bond with a woman. Time and time again I tell you guys this: you want to learn how to bond with a woman? You observe, you create a funny, nice moment – a real moment – and the woman all of a sudden thinks that this serendipitous moment happened.

Did you see the movie Hitch? Something that Will Smith’s character says is that every day a woman wants to be swept off of her feet, whether she knows it or not. It’s something I tell guys all the time.

Watch every Hugh Grant romantic comedy that there is. Yes I know that can be quite painful but start thinking what women want.

Watch him approach, watch the moment that happens, watch the conversation, watch the way the phone numbers are exchanged (or the date is arranged) – and that’s what women want.

They want to live in a romantic comedy. They want to live in a romance novel. They want you to be interested in them. They are not interested in going out with Bozo the hand-reader. They’re not interested in seeing Cirque du Soleil at the mall this afternoon!

So the tricks don’t work. The problem is this: if you don’t listen, and you have nothing else to say after the fact – the fact of the matter is that the only way to carry on a conversation is to listen – so if you’re just performing at her and she’s clapping, what do you say next?

I don’t teach this stuff – I never have taught this stuff. I’m not saying that I didn’t do this stuff when I was in my twenties – because I did. I did a lot of these fun little things – I was the entertainer because I thought it would be a crutch.

But you know what? I meet the most spectacular, amazing, sexy, beautiful, fun, bright women every single day by just doing what I do: just doing the things that I teach you guys. I live this life, I breathe this life, and I get to meet these types of women.

Are you ready to meet real women?

Or do you continually want to be the performing clown? I know a lot of you guys are not performing clowns, but for some of you guys that are reading this blog for the very first time – enough with the performing clowns!

If you want to become a clown, go to Vegas, or call the Ringling Brothers and ask for an application. You can wear a little red nose and a little horn that you can squeeze all of the time. I heard that there is actually a shortage of clowns nowadays so you might have found your profession.

But don’t be a clown meeting women. They know your shit, they’ve, heard about your shit, and a lot of them have read or heard about The Game.

Todays video is all about how to blast through the insecurities and master the art of being a great communicator.

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